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! C1 W' e" m) T; ^Why did God make mothers?
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- v% c9 F: P0 w2 |8 u1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.6 g c, u C. Q9 J4 i7 b
2. Mostly to clean the house. ! h/ C% d& N0 g- F' [& Y
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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How did God make mothers? 4 s; B: \! f O8 F, i
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.3 D4 g" @6 r9 ~3 \; y
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
! i& O2 a2 v: c4 Q* C8 o& }/ p0 `3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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What ingredients are mothers made of ?
% m0 `. S) k% j) ~! O" o1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
# D- O' {, D7 H7 b: H! }: G" `+ t" u2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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# A0 N6 ]# n; Q$ v) j* {# [& V5 [4 OWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? ! T: ]# _ b4 x: Z
1. We're related.* g4 m. y8 F2 l
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. + }3 d/ v. M, G6 x
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What kind of little girl was your mom? 3 A& K: S2 `( c3 \
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. Z) ~) W! P2 A2 w4 R
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
- }. B& a% t- O) V; m8 C3. They say she used to be nice. ; {, I% k4 Q6 y1 p8 j# b. h
* e& G. D& j" i: Y' v& X. |What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
6 V" n. i5 P0 i' ? t& N* R$ o1. His last name.
6 ]" ?6 b; v3 A7 _5 W2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?; w" K# f3 O1 Y# ^
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? n; O* k% Q6 l; x* z4 _
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Why did your mom marry your dad? ) P5 K, t( M& W) s
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 1 b* e" S4 b4 W( d' \% M; Y' p
2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 5 b, X1 e, W) v, v7 _
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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Who's the boss at your house?
- K) o" c# l5 G) \1 z+ S6 [" R1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. " c9 ^( P* {3 b' J9 E
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
1 j3 `. A8 w& a: q& ?4 |3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. 4 _2 Q5 i5 m1 i( h6 X* v! I0 c. N
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What's the difference between moms & dads? ( Q' I0 L; P. J& o$ E
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
( O6 b, c0 V4 `: q2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
. V# k w7 g6 b5 ~# V5 q# i9 z; \" |3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
9 ?/ k. @# w, Z4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. * b: H% C: \0 @- C* C
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What does your mom do in her spare time? 2 c2 g- K+ ]; X
1. Mothers don't do spare time.' z4 K$ i/ G' S% N8 j& S
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. , j7 [+ I, _$ d4 L' V
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What would it take to make your mom perfect? 7 {( W4 t/ h, {3 O! V# B- _
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
- B4 k6 W; C% r# M* _# w1 Q. }2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? : w! R4 @; }8 a3 E* f
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
7 z- C) V5 U' g8 u2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
' s8 y( `# p- C& {6 U5 U3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. . p) J7 A; v' h% o6 F, s
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