 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
6 i- J8 V z! P! T8 o3 A7 p9 N
j! E9 `/ t: f' |) @2 ~2 s
$ d# \$ t- X+ q* h; L: M+ V3 Y# k4 O% C P, f7 k, h# _
1. Bring your own house.
- p m3 L4 F, S5 J8 M7 T7 F1 m
6 ], t# z/ ^6 D9 g5 Y' t 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
e- D6 s/ Z) k% r( E& @# F( }hospital.
1 O# @9 i4 { J! y9 j3 s* s; x5 ~+ ?# }' G- F( t0 [% n* W
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder4 I' T9 M3 d, {5 ?3 w1 d9 V6 k" t5 [
capital of Canada .
0 y1 G# q1 i' u: N7 B4 R# B/ C- Y, P0 Z: w
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ./ |2 w: I" R% B, @1 [
: x, Z" l6 e0 W: D, s
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug; @ y) S+ B, q& A& I
capital of Canada .
& U- v& L; R5 R+ h/ y& s/ N5 v! h3 v0 h
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is1 X! \' z$ y: W5 {
$8.00/hour.
8 X. P. k' J+ U* c. ~
5 s o' j; j3 A" V0 a7 R 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
0 z. |/ z! |) X8 K; c
& u$ [+ ]( p! Z. D 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
6 f' K7 @# K4 [( pon a 15 year holiday ?
; v1 \5 E/ j- G$ T s9 {1 E: @" B7 W; F. |' r0 B
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas# W% m# I; {& S: c5 H; Z
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
; j4 E4 B, ]' R5 D, B6 w
+ B# t; ?! Y- `5 @10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come- S# {- G9 v* X( l; m/ F ^2 S
here sick.+ \: L# f) s% g5 _% D: U
% ^# X- U: _0 z- O( C, N
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 127 B! d' N6 O1 l* X8 }+ g$ E0 Z
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) u. ?/ F4 Q, o% C2 I9 p0 N0 d
6 h7 w% e& e$ z% \
. ^" ~' m- w# I% M7 E
1 V- v% E, [3 J) I- e8 T$ I$ o: K THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
- t e- ~1 S, c
7 Z4 p: w) c6 S! K. @! @* y) z1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". f7 a/ |! W7 l% d* s
% m% n& }; b# T5 I1 f8 E' U2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour7 R! e1 r7 i2 A# E1 R
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
$ ?* T1 @: Y) _* ~# Y+ l! ~4 f& `& w
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: Z% B; g2 @& H6 Q$ r% o9 ]
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 s- x6 X0 P" f, B" ]! v% f. Q
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires( a: b8 i# g; x
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
' I( E0 I% }& @. W6 [$ ^5 e) Rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
! R, @) z+ Q1 m$ ^. P- j
5 E2 {4 g. G8 ], o/ h; b4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# \6 k& E/ _; n5 Y1 B( Ycussed out, and possibly shot.% o2 S3 i% x2 e4 g& Y/ H
9 ^- J* L$ u" a1 Q# |; l6 P5 b4 @8 |5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that/ G3 Y; `9 P5 H+ }
can get you shot.7 }" `% P& ^( t/ D. q. H u
, z1 d* O0 q9 j8 }
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour( W* R% ^0 L) D/ B [
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next l5 n- s( O& v6 E2 e9 w2 X
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and$ C @& t3 x4 ?$ {3 A! N, f( Y
more construction starts everyday.
! E( z4 P+ `0 E( g0 i9 R" l; |. c/ ]% p5 L' _5 }
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,9 W4 [. p4 Z9 A7 S6 l! o$ {7 @
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,7 m6 m l7 R1 _6 Z+ a- x, z
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: y5 ?: D2 ~9 P
! m R( M0 D3 O2 U
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; }) ^+ I+ `& [. V
the same road.& r$ ^/ |' {' _) I; p/ ]8 o7 s1 w
0 M) \ ^' v8 y8 ?2 D3 Q' F0 C. M+ I
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the v1 n4 A, M) l# K. G. J0 D) l
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally Z) L1 }$ j$ s# C; ^
activated."
2 ^8 c7 c4 u/ Q+ k: k5 d% I# g4 u8 e
6 K9 a, N1 Q4 S, N; Q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
2 n% `2 I# V7 {zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"# [$ X8 Q/ M$ B8 O
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
s' y8 w% Y7 `- M! q0 a$ M, S
! S' {/ e3 r% g; t11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( t3 C& O7 u6 n ~+ C/ O/ T) W$ C
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
% V' r+ U" U% |% f6 L/ Cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
/ h6 \' n' ]$ d% v# z nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
