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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and) H6 t6 ]% O6 h2 w9 ^! T, v
hospital.6 Y5 P0 F& ?0 n' G- n. _) p
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 G+ g. ?3 D5 d* M6 B# ?5 h" `capital of Canada .% @6 \& Y: |; b/ q: p# W9 ?
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug- N- V* N% `1 L/ Y' b! k- V2 _
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is- |' r* }1 @8 A+ |& z, S1 T
$8.00/hour.
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# A- G, U. V6 C" ^9 G: M0 L 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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( @) n, u h4 J; t 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, t0 L k6 i4 uon a 15 year holiday ?* `4 ?, ~5 ]5 I/ [
& A2 u; k+ j6 F' G3 x# J9 Q 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
- Z' B4 N% D+ D0 I# Wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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9 O) M1 w1 Q3 C1 s6 D2 a10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come" \3 j9 R1 d6 {2 X1 @: e
here sick.
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/ {7 L+ Y/ k. ^2 ]6 y3 d11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" k; O2 ]. t5 r- N! S: Yyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : ^1 A6 a) t- c$ C
7 J p% s# W# U" e) v1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".( Y$ U; ]) i( h. v
3 K+ L4 \9 C% x" M2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 M' q/ X+ V# ]1 A7 [is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.! a! i& |0 Y1 w
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
! |5 m& {- [% r4 m" x/ j E/ ^1 Pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest$ x f; q! {/ o P* h- d
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires5 n4 E. x9 N! b m* x
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell/ i! N/ @3 K$ {7 Q0 F' E" q
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,; }& U8 H# w, W3 d
cussed out, and possibly shot.' i L7 W1 L$ t2 B8 ]
( Y; E# i F2 v1 Q) e5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ d4 o2 g) D A. X; Ecan get you shot.( [1 m' f* ~8 x0 P3 y+ f) w w8 O
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. L, X7 m$ Y0 qbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 y7 e T6 X- ~
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 X; X6 e; c t6 P* Wmore construction starts everyday.( f! t G2 E c, C
* Q* B2 U3 {- V+ ~3 v" T m 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ \1 s) T& U- N- p6 R; ^. ?% d( V# Udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage," z. r4 f( `- ^7 i2 n
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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" J* a, [, G& {3 p) {& \# ~8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
$ w0 ~" ^6 C# @" x3 w" t; fthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the3 @2 ~- Z5 n3 m3 \/ e* H4 E! h
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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) U0 j% u3 `# r. v+ J10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
4 P9 h' x. z' K- N0 \, L3 kzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# q; s$ G, n4 K+ H5 {accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( B K" d+ d! k/ o
/ C0 U+ L$ i0 j11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 ^& j _+ M/ n4 }3 `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
6 d9 A5 O) N+ pblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is% z8 Q% w# Q* R: h6 o
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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