 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA- B+ I2 r% j# I$ t
0 V0 Y7 ~% G5 C3 E2 ]$ A$ C: g
$ W3 J& r; ]5 y7 p$ l0 x( ~# n% K- }$ x5 u4 w
1. Bring your own house.2 P/ J$ s I" o
4 R% ?) H4 f# S) P( B; T. t
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
0 ]( M, H u4 W9 ~. vhospital.
7 h9 C% @0 T0 X! r6 N# g4 _1 k. D+ k, w6 h _
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
7 P7 }* T8 R) ~% w0 {& v7 d" Mcapital of Canada .
, z. ]+ E& V7 l9 u8 u: h; K( c( s3 F; ]& V D4 M
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
( G) j3 _ ?3 y, H: |
. X6 `! T" `% i- y7 ]0 S 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
8 n6 i _. P+ w+ o: D8 Xcapital of Canada .3 }' b( m0 I4 u
! I) g! h8 M7 `' I" d2 I. ` 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 w0 Q4 C5 X! ?! A
$8.00/hour.+ p& R5 L9 x) Y) B& Y" o2 m
& {! E+ C+ D" _ a% T8 ~, k 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% l- L7 U4 X' Z5 S5 M9 t" _
' @( X. U) v: i: F' Z) p3 C3 W
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
u' F9 P# R) `! s; b, V8 }on a 15 year holiday ?5 e1 }1 o7 x) ]( L# M" N
5 u5 n5 w5 x7 h0 P) b5 P! @! T
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
8 o. K8 a$ L& H" U3 a5 o. N% Lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)7 l' M3 f$ y$ K
* P2 E( w0 F0 f! i4 w9 ^
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come* ~4 ]# ?5 F) `$ E( f# n% N
here sick.# b' S8 ]7 ^5 h/ I5 A5 |
: T/ g( `, x5 Y8 g6 C! J11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
7 z5 }( q$ P! [! G Wyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
8 W0 V2 l9 H& |9 H% X( I4 U6 F% N' U. f* h& J% z1 ?2 z# U; q7 T
( M i4 d |3 J* m; C: q* U& A4 g' z; }# b# V2 d
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
8 j1 ^' A U9 |# Q4 n3 m5 G
6 b% x1 |" X4 B1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
6 \# u; w8 H: e
( i1 E# @$ A0 S. P2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
8 c! {; o; B8 B& a' r+ _8 fis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; q/ f. a% b) E4 {
2 J: Y; T s" Q* \, s3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its' S( o% M$ T; e L s( \) R0 l% t y
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
6 }$ Z$ N( f1 N+ z$ Kmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ R k! P! W1 B- x: Igo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell8 G. v% S( T4 j* P4 q: y+ Q3 l
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 B: G$ x! q- r g/ @
/ D% X$ M# p2 R6 v4 Z
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,# J# V6 z2 D1 Q. R, T% j
cussed out, and possibly shot.* D' r0 { ]! p, A" C
: `$ L: q8 B1 V P5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that4 j1 |# g( o! W: ~# p$ Z
can get you shot.
1 v& o" m- A: R$ d4 P7 W- s3 d. o" P
6 Z% j* K1 p' j/ y+ g6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour+ ]( D) L4 R; a) |8 k" A$ q+ k7 Y( n
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 `- t* B, a1 @# Cday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 s: Z! I& R1 D x4 j0 D7 f2 x6 t4 mmore construction starts everyday.; L7 d/ T5 c6 C4 e
$ R& i& d+ y' g
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,- {* s3 g# l: X) d1 ~
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
# T/ ]( _. b; x4 x* ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 g+ A- U; b( y: K0 z+ _$ \5 r6 X7 W$ a4 Y
5 I: O" P# X c. \# [8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 C2 _" b. s4 Q3 m6 A7 @& D
the same road.% ] ^: O/ s9 o. ?
4 ^2 M/ c! c2 D$ c Q% V
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the. b8 f* | ]6 _/ S
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally% Y) v) j8 g/ [) K# R8 v
activated."& w' a8 s+ _7 I5 l
( |# m; m y; z( a8 q* c; r2 C2 r10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
8 y. `& f) x( g0 uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
. t7 k1 B- @( F; ]accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
% R8 p* ? y5 |9 ^8 L# N4 i7 b6 t# E. F& L' Q$ Y
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 s$ `- N9 X2 {8 T9 y1 Elined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ P5 d7 p q! r9 ?- _: s
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
* u: w- Y' h1 W' Z2 y) nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
