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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 D; ?* t# Y/ D! n- T: O
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1. Bring your own house.8 }4 S6 X8 V; [ _9 n
5 S' T2 Y: g3 y1 I 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( c& y: m1 k2 W5 {" {
hospital.3 B/ Q" V c4 I- P$ w6 S# w
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder% b$ K& c9 K0 b
capital of Canada .
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. M( Z5 h6 X$ {6 _) X$ H: Q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 }1 e+ a- @* M6 Q% C
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
, r6 w% {6 V9 t ?: g* n$ ^capital of Canada .
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/ H# U( M, {- P) I! N6 F 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 g+ I' @3 W7 V6 Z# P5 n1 p$8.00/hour.
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5 V3 J' _7 Y* C/ S7 m' A( U- S* y 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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0 L9 Y7 x* m5 P5 B) {% H" K 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
x5 w. v+ \# B2 y2 Con a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 c1 G5 H6 N/ \$ Wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)7 `* b/ _* w( x) O5 O* i
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 u* v. B. q% ~# L; l2 B/ g
here sick.
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0 P! ~$ A9 D8 h5 z, ]4 T" ~% l9 N11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
! A1 L' P1 U, j$ T' C' ?years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :1 D0 M( \5 }: S/ c1 s2 L8 _5 N& D
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".1 p: }4 M$ m/ t3 k! D8 X+ S8 b/ D
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! K7 o0 x* F, T! I5 L+ Sis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.5 ?( v9 `) R% Z. M- r0 i) v
+ X7 s: y+ O% a7 L H3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
4 w3 S" j5 e! L5 k0 u/ f* E+ m1 `own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest7 T3 |* [ D6 ?$ c9 i3 q
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. { d" e9 h4 L5 v* Q1 a/ u
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 d3 c$ p& x4 Y- g1 Sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* Q( V& W @, u& ^
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ d* ^& }, O( O4 R6 Icussed out, and possibly shot.0 m. q3 P/ y6 N+ E8 ~/ g0 V
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% k; P# G7 ]* w
can get you shot.( ^- s2 ^0 ?2 [+ b6 h
, U1 P) `3 w+ T) X" }4 C" m6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
2 @! q9 U& o% d+ f) E1 J4 g4 rbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* e3 f0 z# D, Y1 O. }6 n( iday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and( S) x" Y* K: q8 a! i: q. ^
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: x( c5 V. _6 R7 g( J( R3 M5 ^2 ?deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
" R# T: I7 T& v2 U) ?squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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2 h4 D& @3 g9 l/ {) j. u- o8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
, e6 F. |3 h+ X. |: e: p) ~: tthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( H: O" Z$ F* qshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally' {% S+ T( p) w* T0 t( Z
activated.", d" a: _, Z& @& q" W
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km7 F; r5 C. ~2 T( _) b- u- ^, h0 l
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
& p/ C) g3 O- t: }4 Taccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur# _; l* ]: L* E+ g8 M
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 ~! I5 t' d. X+ I5 J
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is9 P0 q& y' J) C/ a) z
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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