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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA1 q M" P! i. r, g8 J
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* l) T5 J+ F9 S- s5 r. z 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder# l( U6 f3 E$ i8 V2 v0 [4 T# Q3 s
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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& I% Q; H& h/ G+ |$ o, T$ w. f 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ c1 L* k0 M9 M% r5 m2 F. Vcapital of Canada .' Q0 r' R' D8 @( V! M2 x3 Q, I V
9 P% _ { {0 a' U6 ^( F {2 Y% J 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
3 t$ L5 \; z# k0 l2 z$8.00/hour." |7 D8 |8 u4 @: w! u+ `
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 j, I7 }9 `% Y8 L* D
/ H @0 V8 C4 m+ ? 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money/ {6 z+ }4 c F/ w$ a
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
3 ?- O0 s0 Y1 j# [$ ~% \prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 Z4 b4 M8 a1 |- l: D7 w
2 a; D8 @* r0 X1 D- S& d" ~% p10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, k$ H- R" V( ]here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
; c' V3 y" }+ S3 }9 j) T4 ]$ Nyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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: x9 V* [9 G! ~ _8 c7 q THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :1 b/ j" y: y3 P+ \
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour3 S) v; ~1 @8 Q1 M$ J" f% @
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: ~" e$ M& Y2 B6 H7 v( n: ]& G( B# l
4 u: w2 R) M7 N3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
$ l/ }8 W) b2 b4 s, down version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: I; I) w9 s8 N7 u6 V: ^* w
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires! F: Q/ i. L& `$ M7 a' t: D7 ^
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 ?1 _, \, m+ J4 b4 `
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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0 v9 Z4 _* b% Z* \1 c& l4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,; h. _6 x- A/ R( L% C8 i0 H
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
8 q1 S- S( f+ T! o% e8 ?can get you shot." J7 y/ Q! V/ P; ]7 I
, }9 M% T* D! y1 R3 T! T+ p2 E% N# C6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
# @+ g: d2 G. ?- ?- O' Qbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! H3 U5 I* ?4 H2 c: G( kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ h! [" ^. p2 P5 g" B9 B4 S% ymore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 a( B0 E( ]1 t" o/ j! R7 `; O2 ^
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,. U4 _9 a8 ?( W" F+ N; S ]
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 x. d9 S1 Q1 D) Y. T9 R
the same road.% j# O* _3 Z6 U
6 a9 r. e+ B' v* g" f( r" o9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ o- w b+ b0 F- j
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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9 z/ [2 F+ j# \( G- }7 J6 _10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km- R* u* H& A6 S( r8 h
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off", _: D+ T5 p$ S, N
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur8 B$ }$ v) |$ m6 \
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 f* z0 S& T) |0 z7 {blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is3 }9 f( n0 p; U c
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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