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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
! C) z) r& t/ i- x2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
+ W) t4 f, }2 @$ C4 ?( R3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. - }' b+ I+ K- w
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. ; @7 T" V/ K- T9 i r
5. Weed ; u7 a T1 @' e
/ j0 @; T7 F2 D+ Z# h, ZTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA " C! Q4 E* A- K7 k& G% V2 K
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. 9 V: q4 ]+ a& D- W* R
2. Ottawa who?
# @$ ` q- c/ C. q1 H: |+ s, v# H3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. * e- `3 E: _0 k+ p
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
, ]: ^5 S' M% I+ c& \5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
3 w1 m$ ^0 r: J* G6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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) F( K4 S! Y' _- w( J6 | fTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat.
/ u7 i3 H8 a/ ^' |! E: Y2. Your province is really easy to draw. 2 A' o. Q. l% C; B
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. - _3 b" s( j9 R( b3 z
4. People will assume you live on a farm. 5 X; { y! m7 W
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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/ o* ~8 ~8 a- q6 m1 P* T2 N# z1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. 1 a- B) x$ a7 ^' M/ I# X
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
. ]& J+ W+ W: G& U3 z3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
7 l: _# h/ H4 H ^8 E, e4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. E' l* G) e$ C
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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, H7 R+ S7 M4 y2 ?6 P+ STOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. 3 U& \' h2 Y6 v0 y) c, z* H. J+ T9 {5 `
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. ) O6 T0 h2 C5 l2 ?
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 5 M# H6 E4 Q, G1 @/ k
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 8 v% K2 ~" P( B+ M3 X; a: l
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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" M) d2 l P% d3 v1. Racism is socially acceptable
8 _/ @1 `! i) P2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 1 C. N; o, c7 E( C5 H- g+ ^* J, v$ a+ z
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
+ a3 O2 f! R) u! ?* t% P& r# i4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
1 G1 J- X2 |8 \/ d: |0 KTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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( z' g9 C Z, _" Y& ?; tTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 0 a0 Q/ {7 A5 `4 x
/ }9 a% y+ i. \+ Y7 i& Z' O4 D! W1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
3 O& k1 B0 r2 q$ ~3 ?2 l& b1 i# K% l2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 5 J6 W" s7 e( H, g
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
2 T1 W! A& G$ Z ~4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 1 }( M6 ]' T6 Z% {1 _8 w
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA & Q" A, ~7 S* l) p9 s
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% y4 m/ C+ w' L% s6 e1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
8 E' h( C% [" n) G1 |# H, S4 u9 H4 b& p2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. : C; H1 m% J1 R1 u/ s! W! f
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND - }0 k9 |1 G5 I; q: S
( Z& K( G' j' o/ Y2 A! v; b1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 9 S5 K7 h9 q. Q4 }' n
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. y5 t: p7 U5 f6 Y% f
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. # D+ e1 Y$ b* I/ G) M$ `& y
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 6 R3 d' k# r! i
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. 7 B) W# |: ?1 G. Z$ P9 A/ @
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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6 g- |1 P8 V9 }+ o6 C1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. ' O2 w/ T/ s% L
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. / p; p2 R1 X, ^8 J$ c6 Q
3. The workday is about two hours long. & F, N& B, g1 H9 x8 A
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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