In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
- d% p& B- u/ x/ W4 e/ d* j; P
. I; p6 _+ _& N6 [2 P, Y1 VIn the garden of my heart
4 ?" Z& n# K1 s& JYou planted a tree
+ ^$ H4 L" B1 L* KFrom sunset til dawn
: u! C' L1 E& ^" ~Through darkness to light
6 ?& h% _+ u4 u' _# ?Nourished with my soul
- o0 I' ?# F/ V! O6 UDevoured my sorrow by thee
* j( k3 p: p/ v% D3 i4 |: j3 g6 q+ B
3 j. r# X$ {$ r$ z1 M5 z  A4 D* ^In the memory of my life
You planted a dream
% b7 m) Y% N4 B2 l" GShould the sky fall down on me
/ `( a$ g0 E: @& l7 A$ QMay promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
6 }* f  h. [% y& |& ?2 G; P0 T' ZBursting the love out of me

[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

In the garden of my heart
$ k! Z+ p$ b. L2 i) T; R" j* {6 RYou planted a tree
0 }; N8 [0 [9 L+ CFrom sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
; V9 k! r1 O  b' ~0 B; ODevoured my so ...

' _3 |3 n8 J' s5 _0 e
! y. N, L$ w+ A$ q$ C5 i. ?眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
7 v* B) `$ a* \( _8 _2 |7 q
6 c- Q2 {% q( v$ Z2 L/ e写得真好。
& }, j- h5 i6 }+ x0 \9 J
9 I# y% j* R* P1 J  ]) M: T加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
& c% s1 q+ k1 j" K) P1 c- `眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
( Q( Q( ]$ Y4 `! m/ a加精加精！

我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

; w8 M3 o( o( q" \: a五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
( |: ]4 O) a6 g" Z
/ n$ p* R! k" a1 b0 vSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
, n  Z3 e2 Z1 W3 Y6 \" q( wShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

! r! e) v$ U0 b/ f" [! K3 v# pSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

) J: d: ]/ x1 MThanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
& i1 R* ?7 x4 f* ]8 {
2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

- n, Q8 e% P$ GShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

; w. R1 ?, {. m2 f( zShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

# e8 W/ ]; x- h" o诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
2 g* O) ~& B; r) m6 @thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

3 }; e  P0 ~& Z) X7 F
: ?  T: \' G" {& P$ U有啊，有很多经典的例子。

比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
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1 l) n7 J9 t+ S3 u" A3 BDon't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
. K0 v. s6 j! l$ OI've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
" \+ N( q; W2 _( ?I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.

Don't be sad
When you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
. V$ b) m( l+ h4 j8 ~5 mWild and free,
1 F# i7 v( p: e& V! pFlirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
Time and again,
6 j9 P( X2 M& h2 `/ X" ?9 K, KSoaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
  U: e7 Z6 _, B. _! q( W8 BWhile I'm waiting for thee.