In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
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- L9 ?$ U4 L! J: O$ vIn the garden of my heart
7 E0 D3 [2 s, I" T2 T4 DYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
9 V  K( L% W$ Y) [6 x! o9 q7 K6 N' }Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
& j" C& e5 f' _9 Y3 \Devoured my sorrow by thee
3 M1 _* q$ a# F- s1 a7 ~: R
" O$ q! r$ w- b" Y' ^In the memory of my life
$ ]# J  h" R0 n, N; q  oYou planted a dream
# d/ T4 z, K6 h# {1 w- ZShould the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
  L1 j" K) {6 v+ d; rBursting the love out of me

* e6 E( j; y/ y) p+ M) l( M2 n[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
) Q4 b- g8 G& Q* I7 z0 [听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
) P& r4 V: Y# ~7 A( F4 W. x& Z, o
In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
8 E' D% k2 C' K" @6 `+ I# E* sNourished with my soul
6 p- N% z, i" Y( B- z4 ODevoured my so ...

: p0 S! O3 Q( P( v- F+ w. Q8 S- n, ~眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

写得真好。
. A. L$ U/ ]& u* R, B
6 n6 Q& G" v8 C1 T* ?加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
加精加精！

( s5 |6 t4 R% e& [7 M. [  \我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
$ @" l5 f0 e1 \  o; TShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

7 R' j$ v4 z. H$ E% b( M/ @0 {* @Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

8 V9 K1 O4 Y  b2 p, x8 ~8 HThanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
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1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
1 l: ~1 H+ j- i* C% R. s2 Xthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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2 H. J3 S" h* Y  }Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

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' Q% ]7 `/ @. _2 h5 R$ d: b- X诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

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, x6 |) T1 r  b! e有啊，有很多经典的例子。
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比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

' J! C4 K. C$ i3 p, H: eDon't weep at my grave
8 |5 L9 e+ k8 |- r1 I6 i0 W+ [! MFor I am not there,
( z' j: `; J1 y2 `I've a date with a butterfly
3 V) V+ [: L7 v& y% A6 MTo dance on the air.
. J1 y  t8 W3 p% R  ?" H- E6 ?1 a( G9 SIf I'm missed, find a flower,
! X  K3 q5 u- tI'll be there too,
& U* `6 _- y" v* }* pSniffing it's fragrance
! e* d) d; T* |) k' ]8 e5 T% MRight next to you.

Don't be sad
# d8 R. c# E; K# S& IWhen you remember me,
- B5 K9 \2 K( R; o# ^For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
9 ]- T2 t, H0 X+ z* [Flirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
Time and again,
Soaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
0 {% ]6 z& ~2 N' d3 U2 d4 S0 zEnjoying all of nature
. H  w3 Z  ]$ b7 S" D2 _8 a& I/ hWhile I'm waiting for thee.