 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
( e: M# o" A* a" X+ B7 w5 @请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写; {' D* j, w/ J/ c( k
5 ?# D: Y0 h! r4 P/ H# V6 Z1. Men ARE NOT mind readers." c& c. {) ?+ h1 W
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫, b3 T6 ~$ _3 N2 I
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
/ c3 i. d& _6 Z" L+ E5 l+ Odown.7 E" s! d9 H9 @3 o
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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9 I9 }5 k4 V$ T: z# ~+ Jleaving it down.0 y, ?8 v: o& b- ^3 b' E" Z5 B1 _! |7 @$ M
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
, T9 j; S% ?) n* Q$ S/ b/ J/ f9 XLet it be.$ j7 [ d9 g1 R5 y6 s% j3 S
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去* N8 K. P( W, o% s1 U; g
; Y5 R6 k1 f" }$ x0 F0 D1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it+ N' W7 ] M# `0 G4 {' Y K0 m4 E
that way. C% y r0 h- w7 q; o6 P
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!! _! C. U8 L9 I3 \) }' H
$ {1 k) j8 { f9 t1. Crying is blackmail.( e4 d, z+ [* V! k, G1 g
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
8 b& a8 K9 x) L7 l1 JLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!1 G0 G2 w, ]& }* ?: X
Strong hints do not work!5 e0 M% R2 J. D y+ L
Obvious hints do not work!9 ]2 i" e7 c- q9 @9 b( C
Just say it!
; a% K. H% z# X. f( G0 a+ x, O6 P1,你想要什么就说- |) u4 f7 M2 X
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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+ t! [/ W$ V/ [, R) E$ B2 f1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every p" o R7 ]/ ~: P
question.$ @# `2 r' c: y6 w5 d% S5 d
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)+ r+ m7 ?, {, b$ c: l* H8 n' B( w
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
6 g0 O% d$ M9 j, r1 w) F. Wwhat we do.
8 Q9 M; Z3 J. j- i/ S6 j- M/ D) oSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.+ [* t5 a- q7 v3 `+ F, ]8 t
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
, A( j, e, g1 L: }3 c9 p1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument./ m2 Z. z# b! ]/ |+ E: p
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
+ G+ t% E& j" S% J1 ]% f我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了& ^# C: r( M( X k2 [& y
7 n0 W9 b( M1 r/ i: p' z6 g1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us! ^# |- t5 `# y$ p$ a O- |
to act like soap opera guys. z8 I% \2 u J0 |0 E
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们0 ~* f% c) n! T, R+ H
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.. j8 [2 b9 C2 q0 ` m; d
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们! E; y8 P1 z: S8 S& s* |7 ^* m9 R
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways+ z+ {" A1 l' ^ q! l8 K1 \/ d$ R' _/ ]4 x
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
6 f+ R, |2 T' u/ z- F- e1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢): o( v9 A# D2 @. G+ f
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it e' F' w6 i) {% w0 m8 E% Y
done. Not both.
* t/ b2 \9 u( ]8 sIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.3 \8 r0 B2 r/ G+ O' f
; `* e5 t/ d! Q/ \3 c# |1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during- ~4 a+ W. F9 u& M T8 ~
commercials.$ ~0 p/ u! o- J0 Z' Z6 m2 P6 w
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.9 H8 `! c8 M, K5 @7 T
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
: V7 L; c; T2 L, ?( kPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
1 {8 [; K4 a. BWe have no idea what mauve is.2 m- q/ _, Y P: d+ D
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.6 g2 _# J3 o1 d
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
& h) s# t* S% `& }, b9 \* D, Q0 rnothing's wrong.
) o _7 ?* f' T" u, Y4 r' bWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.; H6 B1 @$ J- A0 O$ ~" _% n
# Y: B, y7 |+ t; ~' g) S2 i! R1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
. F: a/ k9 Z i4 G0 B1 fyou don't want to hear.- Z6 P. t" }+ p0 w* ~5 w8 q
3 y- @( U3 d* ~1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is; R# H. P: W x/ ^. d
fine...Really.+ f( J! w5 N) I f* `' W/ f
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
7 N/ p3 [# T7 K" A0 Ediscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.5 C3 h, p# C6 K) e/ j, @
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1. You have enough clothes.
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$ s1 O0 b) p9 L/ j* N1 O9 Z2 I; L1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!6 a$ i8 _7 }2 u; X9 s! Y
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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; ?/ H' [! U+ i3 MYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;) |; R4 _% p9 Y3 t$ H- @
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.8 o# T" e- C! `
! ?$ L# }5 K3 n# UPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.& R- b: R; u2 P
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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