 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1 Y/ N. C% y0 l6 [2 v+ m% }请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写& p* d, B* n C: r
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
6 X: R2 W$ C- z Q8 ~1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1 ] z6 [8 Y& V7 i7 |' S( H1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it v% E U, M, g
down.
# L. G' R4 a1 N2 ^" xWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 8 P; a8 e' q# i. |* j3 r& z
you
' F% h0 T) G5 w7 Y/ Q" G+ [leaving it down.' m6 ?9 p8 F2 T4 b% |- G
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？% d5 C, D" v R7 C' m* g d
/ B! K$ w+ n9 }2 L/ _( s+ r0 V1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.9 N4 ]. ]( a |+ d) k
Let it be.# {! x- r6 n8 f9 u5 S
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
: w: G1 L0 i' v, F: [that way.4 k$ h( T; {: ]0 v* B$ K
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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, x- b* m4 e3 j3 b+ `& ]) f6 N3 _1. Crying is blackmail.% c ]7 E$ J0 j0 E+ z7 ~
1，哭泣是敲诈' }8 S" l$ X1 p, y
V. p9 A) @1 k1. Ask for what you want.$ |5 g3 T! W5 d2 u4 r# c
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!' E* J$ q6 C' O' V
Strong hints do not work!
/ u4 f! P2 c& W' vObvious hints do not work!( p; L, @9 D/ _' H2 y
Just say it!
! \ V: r* ?; k% _: a0 T1，你想要什么就说; i' }( Y1 D+ u3 u7 f$ z- w9 K
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
- S) K$ S6 L( I. Lquestion.
u: z* @8 I; p: j1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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5 U& n/ A/ [" w9 q |8 C3 X1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
, A5 {, {- b \what we do.
0 v3 O9 A2 Z- i! G! w0 a" fSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.! B/ f6 ^) ~8 }! E$ r6 A
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。, d" `" a H" c/ G! Q6 m0 D. F
* e: @$ t. _2 D' L# `$ s! }5 d1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
" P6 p& L7 F( w/ t, @1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去1 H6 u3 d8 b& @, B
. d1 B1 Y5 u3 q) z0 c1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
# h3 x1 |) Q( E* OIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.. w, V7 |$ i/ k9 R+ q
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了% G. m& f) i' o% U3 Z5 ?+ v! z
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
3 c! D3 |- T- h) t: uto act like soap opera guys.
2 S( N8 ~2 ^' `$ @3 ?* o1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
0 S, E ?7 ?6 E3 W0 o1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们; D. l; J0 x) Y. u
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
' V/ b1 |& r. o( q3 | E, Kmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
0 \8 a6 S8 C( v1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。/ s' I" |2 J$ b3 T
' [0 l9 A7 W0 \. g1 G t t（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）' B# P4 d) W, {* _
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
( z4 Y& o4 Q- G; v$ p. rdone. Not both.
/ I: c7 k2 B0 aIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself./ Y) i2 g% L2 N& b" u" x
, n# i& _# B" D, v9 i1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
R/ }8 m% I4 E: E$ I5 j: n4 Kcommercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
& _! D4 E; X7 Y4 d8 BPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit., O& P+ n. s3 x0 B! l' `$ X* d
We have no idea what mauve is.2 E3 b0 n9 {5 }- Q
: l1 p `" T- V, W. w1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.! \& `5 R) ]1 m+ P* Q
: w$ C3 k1 O; p( I! A1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
5 U3 U( C9 M! znothing's wrong.
+ {" S4 @/ s+ r% MWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer, @& b$ {! H ?7 S* A" O
you don't want to hear.
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{( e1 F% Y, F7 {; ^1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is7 r, \& I, |1 j( r" {+ e
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to* D, n. T& P! G# `- x
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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/ P7 [! }( T5 @% i, k1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.
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/ ~/ |- Y$ V5 I+ Y) F$ q1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!) J5 e7 {2 g8 M1 k( s5 H. ]
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1. Thank you for reading this.- f8 D% u2 G2 I8 ~
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
- D. i# G( G9 }, K6 f5 J. f9 ZBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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$ P* Z# b" X1 o! JPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.1 p) K' g% M$ j6 K7 Y2 |
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
