呼应海尼尼：一个男人的心声

三思 · 发表于 2005-11-11 13:05

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you
leaving it down.
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！

1. Crying is blackmail.
1，哭泣是敲诈

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1，你想要什么就说
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。（意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
to act like soap opera guys.
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。

（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh

叽里咕噜 · 发表于 2005-11-11 13:06

funny

海妮妮 · 发表于 2005-11-11 15:10

试试哈。

1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做，但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好，那么自己个儿做吧。

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候，能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说？

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导！

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
所有的男人只认识16种颜色，就像没有背景的窗户（这个很生硬，不知道什么意思）。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色，同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
如果痒了就挠挠，我们就爱做实事。

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
如果我们问发生什么事了？你说没事，那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎，可是那根本不值得讨论。

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题，那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。

三思 · 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26

Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
$ y+ O# u& l0 F( f+ N; ?* JALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
) r( @" ^0 k. D; W8 W& g0 i h: i所有的男人只认识16种颜色，就像没有背景的窗户（这个很生硬，不知道什么意思）。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色，同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。9 O$ t( Y9 `, S( S7 a( y5 W

这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台，default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置

还是海尼尼心眼好，办实事！

海妮妮 · 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
如果我们要去哪里，你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
不要问我们在关心什么，除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。

1. You have enough clothes.
你的衣服足够多了

1. You have too many shoes.
你的鞋子也太多了吧

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
我很有型啊，你能说球型不是一种型吗？

1. Thank you for reading this.
多谢你能看完这个

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了，但你知道吗，男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的，不就是野营嘛。

海妮妮 · 发表于 2005-11-11 15:28

Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
' D# c+ m! c7 `5 C! j9 g5 r
, Z6 z$ W1 x) J; g9 \) o这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台，default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
. V4 G6 f& L6 v
; A( Y( h$ M( ?$ |( H0 n( J还是海尼尼心眼好，办实事！

应该说还是海妮妮心眼实，办好事。嘿嘿

玩玩，献丑了哈

三思 · 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35

最后一句真绝阿

老杨 · 发表于 2005-11-11 16:47

Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:4 I$ O* A' n. J6 q% G2 ]
1. You have enough clothes.- d5 x, E) A, a4 e, i' C* A
你的衣服足够多了
0 [$ r) c8 W1 M5 X! z7 a) ?+ Z" s- A$ N W2 X) w) j: N8 _
1. You have too many shoes.: p, E! @# T+ w' H! t+ v- D
你的鞋子也太多了吧

这两句话我经常对LD说，但是她说NO。

纳兰诀 · 发表于 2005-11-11 17:26

三思 · 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38

Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候，能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说？

----这句话我劳工常说，我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候，电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话，不许我说

蓝海 · 发表于 2005-11-11 20:39

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1，你想要什么就说
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！

关于这一条，我老公只认准了一条hint，只要我在晚上洗了澡，头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话，他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了！

海妮妮 · 发表于 2005-11-11 21:29

Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:, R' _# ~1 S# ]
1. Ask for what you want.
  L1 |) U: w' bLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!( }; }* z. t: B! q
Strong hints do not work!
- g- b; Z  P$ A( pObvious hints do not work!
, ^" E+ ~8 A# i+ g& M9 @Just say it!  q; c9 r$ x  k9 B* A) B
1，你想要什么就说4 w2 j" Q. G7 K. X0 ?* s* o
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管 ...

瓦赛

今天闲着 · 发表于 2005-11-14 00:49

被呼应的那部分在哪？还没看过瘾哪！要不，哪位给个连接？？？？

海妮妮 · 发表于 2005-11-14 09:33

Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:
8 C8 l" k& ^$ F* r被呼应的那部分在哪？还没看过瘾哪！要不，哪位给个连接？？？？

咳，就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”，在这儿

http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

今天闲着 · 发表于 2005-11-14 15:59

Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
- @- ^! D6 g: \! f7 q3 N. @0 Z& n5 C* r* L* D0 n: ~! Z# |
6 m4 d6 B9 \4 E p4 ?/ x' U
$ A8 [3 P* E) ~2 [4 a( ~# p3 f
咳，就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”，在这儿
$ T! L+ N( ~# h8 Z% X) y, S2 A5 [+ c
http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

这个早看了，想起11来现在还笑得受不了了！以后有机会一定要试一下。

还想问问你的体会呢！

海妮妮 · 发表于 2005-11-14 16:21

Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
& [. N0 L% A- H) a$ s: I$ e! _+ R5 t

+ }% k: v. L2 @: l% U Y2 {, ~7 ]# {, T% H0 `# ]$ v9 S+ Q
这个早看了，想起11来现在还笑得受不了了！以后有机会一定要试一下。
% C6 [1 W0 U6 z+ b/ f6 O; \: k1 b1 ]+ ^4 h% D$ X( B" C0 U
还想问问你的体会呢！

体会？

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呼应海尼尼：一个男人的心声

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