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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush+ m, r U. H0 q" {# U6 W
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday( @6 Z6 g8 x6 W
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
' [, d* \3 X. f5 {1 z! Zyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a& F/ C3 x# d( J1 x
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4 S7 I* A3 }" G; l; y0 R" ~4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% m* c3 w t! a
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest Q& Y/ _0 ^$ H0 s9 |0 U2 E
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- j8 g+ `: Z- m F: {- H$ `; ugo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell! {+ ]) L/ a& a" | q) Y% ]( [
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. F% j: c/ C7 P: [; l9 @' K
B+ z. A7 L E2 c5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
2 g" u* s' J' t+ W2 J0 Scussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
5 a/ j; C: M1 d1 i/ eget you shot.
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8 r# Z% [- t: u7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that B# ?. r; k, h3 L6 L; }' Z
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
( ]- z# ~+ [$ v) t; R1 c1 i$ Athe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
& T* m, m: ?) S8 A1 }9 nyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
! }, p0 Y$ ]% I# {& l8 K# Z/ y9 g) Kvehicle through the intersection., U9 L2 K/ D, ]! b/ I# `
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour6 r3 `! Q* }: O: d) W
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 Y4 B( h( q" c. ~8 d4 J
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and. N i. X( o6 O! _
more construction starts everyday.: ?+ b1 Y% M5 @, l: `5 m- }
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,$ X3 }& Y* g4 c5 C# X v" `6 Q' M
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
7 X' M4 ]! v2 Y* rsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
0 y' g+ p7 f9 D9 K. K2 P+ z* a# uroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
* F I' s/ z% K/ i0 j! {) x" D1 {* yRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and3 Y9 a/ }# @2 c
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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9 l$ m( [0 r' z3 a, M! f11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, q" c- X: Z7 x6 O/ f
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally8 s7 \: z" X+ G4 p4 \
Activated.'
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. \3 x' m1 d2 |1 M( I12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,) `, @- [; Q: p
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
$ \1 A! E( j z$ |9 o) ^accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.8 n' F2 J3 j) i/ ?
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur# L( {7 B1 y( n% s
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
: a; ?+ i/ t# L" D; G4 X$ m! k) iblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
