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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.0 c) @: W7 V! F; f1 s
; j4 n/ `. s4 d& t' ~0 p% x# z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush: R' v" L0 l; s2 I
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday/ H" _: k' C8 ]- o- e9 P
morning.
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- k2 w3 \; N; D$ k- c5 Z- t: c) H$ D3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,) H* a/ n3 ]$ I( N
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a. H5 u/ e H. q) f7 `0 ~" T+ a$ p
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.5 m) H* k+ ?- X% \( X" F
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% A# p; t6 l/ Z8 @) O5 N n/ v/ U4 v0 gown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 P$ n* p1 U. D7 }muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& E2 q2 z) ?8 w/ ^. Q- sgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
* j' K& ]6 ^$ i+ d/ M4 b4 T# Cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( B; S$ Z; p1 L) n# b
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,9 C7 ~. r8 V F; g- }/ x
cussed out, and possibly shot.6 L1 F. n" R! j9 m8 B* m
Z6 C X" W+ A8 I6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
" e( U4 U* M k. Lget you shot.
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* {! Y1 ]# r% g* S/ ]9 ]7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
$ g1 W# G8 l2 t/ lhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
8 E7 v$ [. p. s" p- L& Uthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
# C& ]4 C* m3 kyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first8 k: _+ G C; P( b8 P. R; b! y
vehicle through the intersection.7 W9 s/ u" Z! L
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour ? X% b# X& A
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# W2 t, S; ~& [; S6 I: Kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and! B2 v' c) A: y
more construction starts everyday.0 u3 d! W! w" Z, k3 t
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
* F6 J% v: L0 E* \8 b6 l0 Z; V# zdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
5 }" y+ p6 s# H: n. }* ^$ }squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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; p" _ @8 N* g3 G10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
" R+ }, n0 b- Zroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye( |$ O. y- h( j9 S( f* B
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
& k/ l6 m! A) b6 \ q66 Street are also the same road; got it?6 }+ `9 D3 x7 b* o
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 v8 e. V! V% H4 [, @
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
4 \9 i1 q7 w! d) H$ ~Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,' r9 h0 l7 S0 s; p/ N. u3 k
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'' M) e+ ^9 k& I5 {3 }
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( ]7 y% Y0 ~# ^% p- k8 S* Z
, r. `0 T' J! U3 @! D% k+ Q6 c13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur" _: v4 s8 `" S) _3 d, B, m
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 P" z/ F- i- Q/ {% D
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
