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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:1 ^; ~# d3 ~4 j9 m9 a! L+ u
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
) \- \7 W" X! g% |% `5 ghour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
, g0 z ` B3 U8 M! D- c, Vmorning.
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% G) Q; ]6 q2 Y/ [3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,# h8 _; i& Y* s2 B- i+ g4 B5 ~
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a2 f' [# b3 G9 E1 q- U
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.; R% g9 R g& T% r% r. L& x
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
! ?+ |$ N8 Z4 ` {( s) a+ Oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest3 w* j; m; x2 J0 L& |9 i, M% k
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) i8 n% G8 p" q- ]. C" dgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell' X" ?1 z$ d3 [$ ?0 i
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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- `+ ?4 L4 r, U( N, w+ c" t5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# i8 `% D6 u8 m' b: G0 T* {cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
; }7 I% T. i% u7 y6 \get you shot.
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" X( u5 n: f) t6 p3 N0 O! o7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that1 U- Y% U0 k- L2 g" B' }7 X6 G
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
7 v+ \) n6 [7 `2 j% U, Ithe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot, b! Y" ~6 [- `& W0 n2 F3 g: [
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
$ V3 Y" A4 C0 mvehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
. X6 j) n% ^/ ^& o- ybarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: O1 j0 u% l( K) g2 E7 \8 {day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! c- Z# m1 R7 r$ Cmore construction starts everyday.: P6 Y( B; R9 k
7 J1 t! a& G v5 s7 w9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
% f1 l7 c: q. i @0 C3 edeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# }( p5 ^; a- o9 L( H8 Y& h
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same# ~1 o: u0 i8 r- E7 {
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye: i9 B, ?8 U! Y6 F) @* A
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and% O+ F; N# w0 g" V& j$ x
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the7 c" `$ t C J
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally, k1 `3 T( @4 T8 H. t8 z
Activated.'
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; s# Q7 i. ]; X" x1 G. c12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
1 O0 }! U& ^+ a6 ?8 b$ P" Qyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'4 x+ ^2 j1 y* q6 S0 ?( u8 O
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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6 k. P5 E; {. l; d E5 ^! {13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& `7 a# ?- I0 ]& G1 i3 m# N, Dlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) D- Y" A+ x4 n; C0 iblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
