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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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: C8 v4 r+ p- ^% b1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush) [% b3 |3 V+ }! P$ {/ \
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday" ?1 Y, y3 T8 M6 Z# v+ C, o
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
6 X' W4 F7 L5 {" y. Kyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
- s, W2 } W# Flanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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( N# w9 N* @/ ?- R# e& f4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 _# ]% h9 L5 t
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' J" k0 b- g' y, L9 Q6 y. gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 }! {2 W J$ `- zgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell( F- N- t+ T9 G2 y" S9 U: o
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! o3 |! `+ Y2 V% H% z* Ucussed out, and possibly shot.1 V2 i. K/ m+ [1 ^, X
- p! R# k, [) Y: h' V5 y, _6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
' c, H7 ^7 c) Y# D& fget you shot." _, [: R0 {! Q% _0 z' m
& Z6 ~& {% Q6 h, V$ O7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that9 I& U8 f. g1 O! ~' J
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
0 ~! p& T( |9 ]7 }the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot: F6 _5 T9 [4 ]7 O
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first) l0 C) S) P! {7 Z+ p: @. `
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour0 }: P: y% Z( I* Y
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: Y# H8 I$ M" d1 ^: s9 L. r9 d
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 W+ m K Q' U$ [3 hmore construction starts everyday.- d8 B7 Y, r; D. j. I3 Y: K
" ]7 z2 \. @7 v' J8 Y3 l9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
4 C% P# c, @ D" Zdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,) O! z$ V" E6 ]- M
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same" h8 d1 N5 k2 H& x0 ]" W" i4 H
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye0 o8 `. P; T" k X( L' S; k' Z7 d+ k
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and3 a" m: F: c. M5 v D+ Z
66 Street are also the same road; got it?+ t, g$ [* o+ T2 [5 O- G, e
) H+ D* {' w+ A/ q) W$ s6 @11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( d: _7 P8 b: R* f' l
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally* G8 r u. ?1 a
Activated.'( I! f3 o D& d- C
( F# O: x: g; {. V! X12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,2 l/ M, U# r6 P7 x) }
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
& V( u! f% _! O* T4 {accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( {* b; w3 X4 n; F9 X* J
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
9 \! T5 k8 c# d9 b7 R& Y5 A5 l1 vblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
