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Tiger s Holiday Poem
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5 x. N3 k# r! C- K& L: KTwas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
$ Z" i" z- W) b, v9 ~- aTiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.* O8 l; i# `% r) ^0 {% y
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
$ }6 L/ D( v! ?1 LCause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.1 f; y- L2 U8 K( y- c* H- ?
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.+ l1 n" F3 e# S8 A; R/ @7 D! M
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed." x5 ~8 f# }$ e6 p7 {0 d
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,: l* o6 F* K- C; v$ G& b# N7 O! h
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.; E4 j5 F$ J i
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
- e9 e0 L2 l6 u1 u, \2 K( O0 bTiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.5 V6 G+ Z3 ^; I# q$ J
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
3 U5 k+ L2 c( _% Y, S& B1 DWhen not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts." Q' j, |) v' @- Y: A) ^
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',; E. i, [- o0 N. L' T
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .
+ y% Z7 n% G4 w T7 h- D' XAnd I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,( R4 q5 l3 z4 M0 A' D0 r0 {
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."3 G; Q& t4 y# U
She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,8 n: ]3 O9 N8 |: g! y z- L, l f8 h3 K
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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