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Tiger s Holiday Poem
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
' K5 k+ o+ [4 n5 R" CTiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
. x( v5 _+ i) I8 LShe wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,' k& W' R* T/ B; a
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
6 c2 A8 E }! l* xHe’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
: p& g% I$ o/ v' _Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.5 j9 S" |3 t% a
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
- u; r1 x/ `7 f( P. EWith Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story." B9 _; T' R) J6 b" j; Y
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,7 g' Y8 T P# V: o# G: S
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
) i, i1 d8 |" W; LWith hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
2 T8 l8 }. |& P P; ZWhen not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
0 N0 ]3 V' G, M/ n* ODespite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',7 m1 U/ U% O) V9 _) [5 Y. Y
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .1 g! w5 _0 y1 x8 G; ?! F& ^
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
9 T* d4 ~; y* K; J2 e4 S1 c! m$ o"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
' y0 ?" _+ h7 k1 ~4 B4 I. ?8 W4 {She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,! C1 v0 h& {% Q: {
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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