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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it." E' U) t/ `# y. q
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
+ _# [# T" O3 v' j; j; I/ B0 B& ~I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.2 c \8 Z7 H) Q8 Z& B. x
They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.1 q7 Y: X c, |- ?/ S0 U
Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.2 z5 @: W; y, u
then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
0 V. t3 q2 b) i& rthat thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same' X; K4 L% P8 F4 l( K1 j
words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.: K5 b: W+ I) n+ ?: k) f
There are some people that are not into all the words.$ \, a2 |" C% \6 p+ _
There are some that would have you not use certain words.( z2 S4 P" Z5 G- }) R, a
There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
3 \8 P% S# K0 I' k; g: K( ?& d/ x/ ?9 A% kof them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
3 l! Z$ p# U5 u$ Q% J399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous+ Z; U' A8 k0 Z7 R* r2 M
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
0 x! E: a: U9 v3 } ~, uBad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?
, S8 j* G# X. J6 e"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,& |+ \" W/ U5 C; r2 j4 h
and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
, T8 d" g% W+ g"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"0 E* q* i5 H) m: m) j1 K3 d
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
, ^4 G6 z6 e# E# _6 Ccurve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
2 G5 }7 M7 H% J! z* [* c"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"/ m* y8 J- R+ u4 {
Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly0 u' S ^1 `6 k# S) A
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,' r+ [9 R. g) Y) d
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a: p* v% \- ?" L4 {/ Q6 t
snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist
6 Q k/ ~( R( N$ _snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
5 P) x! {% t4 S/ `Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just9 w' v. x% m: q; N3 J8 `& e
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does: n# M" m$ M- B _
not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,5 W: h1 O" M8 x! U& a7 S0 M6 i
but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
) s) ]2 h- F: w, i" Xcompletely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
) J/ t( r4 d) F2 a, p0 k! O6 ]% `some of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
5 L$ Q; V; b* h6 N- hMotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
9 h- M; C4 N/ M/ R* V" Vthere. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling." p& x8 B+ w: q$ y' W0 Z! _
I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend
/ ?& i* R$ q! o9 c4 A" h; B1 x. kwith. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at7 u# ?( F7 [7 R/ L- f
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."
, Q6 C M! c2 x2 \* E# aIt's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the" [) J' g: S" s) F9 [4 O; P; V
other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go) F6 t4 [1 j1 e4 q8 i
together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that
& z, i2 f! W$ |; CPiss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were
- c" B l K6 x9 Z+ }" h3 ?certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I. C) l" B/ [2 U3 s$ {
don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such
# P; c5 ~, c' E) P: Ystupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."$ |% w! @, m: P
And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
7 F8 i+ T+ F) [' U9 Baccedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think: e7 _* i! T' F3 \- w+ p# e5 v" O
it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very5 j! j! M4 c& |* j
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to3 h6 V( K4 m% c$ q/ x% l' [+ Z
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,( [( j, @: m8 ~3 ~7 @9 Y
"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love1 E- W- [% X# S$ {( i' ~ g9 w
than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is- N' u; o! |: @& H2 b K4 V
a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
. X5 U" W9 M! r2 I; A! |/ Q. f* c; MI like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for+ n) y: T4 p q L' S5 `
the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay," }6 t0 t3 ]8 ~
Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."
- e* R" J9 B, Y+ b" O. mSo maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.- V' Q( h! A! M: k" g- x) G
I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any5 |( E2 J) Z3 K$ m
circumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even5 u6 O! W0 s! O6 e+ ~
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,, l8 t1 ]( B# K$ q3 |: P
and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.
: h5 ]2 C: s+ S. ^3 BBut there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
" h2 T3 L, j% PRemember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock
- W. r, a0 U5 l) ^CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in: G& G C$ {- {8 C& [! g5 y
the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for4 s2 u( T( R9 v& O' q
Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
3 y1 V2 m$ A) t' j7 @2 msay "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding; Y4 Q- u. F( [1 {
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
; e$ y; q! u7 z# g5 sgoes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You8 H) X* I" b* c8 w" u0 X8 n$ z0 X
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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