 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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u* V& J) ]4 U5 \& N' fI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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& F2 Q. c0 k% l( hI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.& @8 a0 B8 ?7 A/ Q0 L/ u8 v
! `1 ^& @- h1 k& o2 ]- T: C( `I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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% }( e3 }: `" l( r; N. a5 w& N L* n"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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: M. C$ Z1 N7 I+ B& s, ~# \And the second one was:
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* L0 ^3 f2 F r"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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8 p5 K6 v/ z! m J, c* NI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?) B0 ?# u0 h( b
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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: M K" u$ Q3 ]0 B$ I* _5 h& s YI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?. K [' ^, ~9 O4 V& [/ K; ?
7 a( c# E6 [; \$ f5 Q' p& w6 K1 tI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!5 u4 [% B; b$ k0 M' ]
+ d/ V9 d, A. r: S$ e* w5 t" BI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."# q( ^5 B6 f7 _" I" f b$ U( o
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 E( Z1 M! ^: A9 u- T4 N* J! H6 Y
1 F' |6 f/ U. B/ nNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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: L* o/ U6 v; a- C$ W" QThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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) t; z2 ]$ M& A) s: l$ [, M3 hThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.1 ^; q7 A" v( g. ~/ ~3 q
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.7 i. r) F, d# v4 |$ ^$ I* Y
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.! G6 R+ o' a1 j# T# G0 {
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".( X* ?: A+ h3 s5 _6 X
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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' {; }6 O& P s+ YThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
