 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
4 E9 D0 M" r7 ~7 \1 y9 O8 V! S3 P2 B0 n+ o5 L% r
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
+ F2 b1 z7 k* a, O w$ Q
- F' K% \* O) O. L1 a9 @# i6 g, JI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.+ h- a8 W( e. p4 Z5 u |) O: `
J* b# M3 ^# S0 H" \
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
' d; u' M: j4 }; ?# ^+ _
3 S3 b/ X& G) p; Z"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"0 r2 {; D% A: |. [
- H/ D: X% D; x3 u1 zI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
' a3 Y) `7 R% e$ ~0 R1 a2 O9 m( \/ Z- e; z3 Y" X4 j9 }5 {
And the second one was:
$ j O! z! ~# k; Z' y6 X/ J
- f0 E, _8 t; B0 H"What's the 2nd Amendment?"$ A. B( g7 N9 w# V
/ F2 ?% Q$ _$ y. Z* E* P& k4 m. v) s
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
, ]2 F* H0 |( n4 Q; k6 \$ G" L& O2 s- C" Y% C8 Q
"What is Roe vs. Wade?" C) L& _ a! P
& ]* S3 o% v" u7 {$ |" gI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?) S0 p/ D# R% }8 {) g- p6 O
' ^8 M7 ^! [: F* p8 BI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!) V1 V! D* [5 s* E3 U+ z5 z, N
8 T. U$ e9 z3 q1 Y; s$ m8 V; c1 y
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
5 }8 A9 I2 a# M7 Q" ~% P+ L: J% j. t& B7 f
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"0 X" v) Y }3 S9 \
8 {7 i' A) k- p% E: @Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”9 i2 [. f8 w/ |% S- W
% b ?% g# y' s; d: I
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
7 ^% S# M+ \2 a& ?- M; }3 T# c+ A) R/ F9 m
Thank you very much!3 C& Z: G; y5 z* z$ P4 I
9 r4 t/ r# O. z
==========================$ O1 o6 _; z4 ^0 s v) X
$ D) P7 y7 e" P8 H% q* y/ W+ v
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:# P) O( O- Q- m8 L. C
; S( s( ^5 v( M, ?, c: F" W
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
1 W7 F6 j! f6 ^+ A2 L7 w
$ N' X6 g, t3 g8 b2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms., M B( ?% g- J* g9 Q8 C1 w8 G2 J
1 }3 C. u% T& y6 M# Q7 V3 g. C2 u# z"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
, {/ j5 t8 {8 H/ K$ L, G# h G& f+ c: d
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
/ \' ~$ Z7 ~. O: c- J0 _5 i2 w) _& V, E
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 T/ N: R1 s" b# x$ a! k
; G$ P, `' I9 a3 g
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|