黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
, P3 C% ], L& |: Q$ z- Q9 H% _
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.

I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.

I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
) s. e) T- }7 K  f; y
+ M, i" O+ M: i6 ?7 b0 v"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"

7 L# h0 i- u' {5 x( G+ pI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
+ ~0 ?% ~9 t. J0 P8 n& J! _
2 @2 _4 b, \* a6 L# y8 ]$ ^9 OAnd the second one was:

"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
. s/ L9 h# Y- H& h0 }7 W" x/ w
5 q! ]3 t3 @7 w* [; T8 ZI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?

7 I  v1 V/ g& g/ t* A"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
) |7 K( L( Y+ r2 f! B% C
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?

I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
) [, |# @% z- ^# |- Y4 }
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."

So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
9 w1 P: @6 A9 P+ q
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
, H, d) }" G: q9 ~, b  H- O  ]4 G
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.

Thank you very much!
+ K( ^. V* \* a8 `4 v) i
/ N1 |" q1 K; ^. V) F8 S==========================

( X! Y  Z1 @& p; iImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:

1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.

2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
; L; s4 I8 u1 U  n
. k. {, T% y, o" c! s% {"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
& e9 A* ?( v" H! j/ A" Q) k
0 D2 ?/ e5 J7 X4 B' `9 m; b( i7 oJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".

) v' g( X0 \- M4 i$ q6 _8 `2 IRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
7 X3 s3 }' x( T# F) ~
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
0 y0 s2 h' P' a) E8 e5 g( M9 Ca young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116


不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
6 X8 U' `/ h; M, G" u1 x50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
1 P. R) \4 y* K( D, ~cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

/ _: E2 h9 }2 T6 B
! \) e* `7 Z5 y9 E. b) V  }9 D; a6 y我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳
+ e4 e) v6 E! Q# U  x& y
我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.