 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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6 C* m! h8 F7 Z8 Z+ H, f3 y( t: kI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years. O( s: C* Y1 z- J
( b- I w& `& b1 A) @% YI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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7 x' @% v+ n9 K# L. X"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"8 p$ H \0 X6 C: O, D
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% u2 b. h7 ]4 P X$ x5 @0 _
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And the second one was:( J+ _# {) B9 S4 [/ K
) R4 x% R7 l" ?. J2 r; f" V. r"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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+ L. z% }. w, ^3 p: I3 w8 ^% pI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?7 _* \# Y. ~% V
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"; H i B& [+ f3 c+ ? T
8 U& {5 `% a. ?' uI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?6 r0 O8 ^# X. M$ o) |" a
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"3 J+ j6 K+ [3 U' s' J& c) u3 G
- b7 t+ q, X; w% P8 iNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!% {+ P- T. c+ E
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:) Y: T9 {9 O/ l
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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8 G8 W, c* z- J' r; I2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms., Q7 v* |+ F# i7 D/ E6 J
" i2 R4 \( i, w5 N"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.) ~( o! A2 K, C
1 E: s# R! B m2 ?/ gJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".8 O: k! i Y$ T% l
; _0 U, S/ e; T$ ?6 sRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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+ @$ z( y. i9 P% e$ s0 _# rThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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