 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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4 `) o& w- X1 M- Z7 H3 b& QI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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* i. y8 F& e) `5 ~- y/ ~4 GI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:* _7 M- B, g, X9 Q' K5 q# Q
# J: u* U3 ^$ Q( T"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"6 q% X8 @: v+ z
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 K/ ~, V8 _' Y, `& X' ~7 b
; [& J& t% V% F7 ?+ F& @; ^And the second one was:2 m' K* Z# C/ H& T% w2 I r) k
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?") h# v# ]0 Q" {* d0 g" m0 Z
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?" L+ H4 g& u4 l
6 e1 }" b! f ?( z# ~"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?+ a9 }( ]/ V5 k- K, b& S
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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1 M/ f0 e8 @% h2 ?, x$ vI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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) z& `2 {3 |5 z& n) D2 JNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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" _8 k5 c; N! d* z1 {2 h L$ {This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.1 U( X% K; F1 q4 O$ v4 z3 e
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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5 m& O. l3 P; q1 x9 s0 p+ A$ B$ W1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.. M b! ~7 G% I/ z, B, a
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.$ q+ P7 Y9 {1 z. Y
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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' }8 {& Q+ Z6 |- N: z* g) rRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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' ~9 Z1 k+ w' z F4 TThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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