 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.- G7 _+ W0 d! A8 o
& X" |" c4 M) o; y7 }6 _: ~8 k. EI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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: C; K3 [( u& e0 mI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.: I! V" C- ~+ a' I
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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" a; t6 E$ I4 j, t/ @$ d"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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_% B' L& _) KI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:, V- F, d% b8 z( a
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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" r! k$ U" o9 C$ h. \" u# PI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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$ a2 j X% ]0 Q" N4 ?"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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& t0 ^/ e b2 ]. [3 zI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?6 ]) ^- a: s/ X
. c, x/ w0 R( L7 B+ c4 {I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!6 h7 _ \- x" Z* W' n
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"2 X' `; h* R7 m; `) x
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”/ w) E* `# ?& h
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.4 m( r$ _0 a- r' [
( k: N- E& _5 G* M- U0 H0 UThank you very much!
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8 N9 q2 }$ v6 T, l( U# Y% N' mImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:& \$ u+ y% ?8 g2 W( S$ k
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.- u5 L# `9 q% V4 f; H
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms., w. [! G# ~2 D- N9 f
6 {* F; c3 p, R+ `"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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[1 _- ^5 ]9 c- v" ~The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
