Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 B: K4 C- f; U; r# y7 _Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
& @9 _6 Z: Z, cvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ M$ D5 z2 K3 X3 y) ]4 Y& Tand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
2 H7 p+ t2 O; O8 W  z2 M; E1 WSome overnight travel required, including trips to
) \6 C8 r, c2 |: q3 `$ m- J" W( Eprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
9 j5 E8 b; W! K5 X- N3 Mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
4 A/ K7 [7 @) e- @/ D9 s; o; KExtensive courier duties also required.

4 |1 [! G, x) d: ~) C3 J4 `RESPONSIBILITIES:
0 c! j/ V/ b, [  R5 }  }' o# FThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
: Y, A) `0 }5 u% BMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ J( @% ]/ y* x+ P, X; r& MAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 ~! O7 q) T" l9 Han embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
: V. c# W$ k. E8 H4 l8 gMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 s! ^2 ~4 ?6 v0 |" Y' J! `0 {1 iMust assume final, complete accountability for
+ v/ V& S1 s% }# Lthe quality of the end product.
$ Z" n1 e) ]$ S+ \Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
0 _' n% P  v6 o: t0 J9 h
& Q4 Z) j. F9 d6 U, w9 FPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* b8 ?7 {9 l5 ]4 aNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 z- Z1 z  ]2 r. h5 j8 G; ~without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
5 x% Q8 h; n) ^0 h# c

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' W: A) F" M: Z# B/ `( n2 Y4 AOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
2 p: N5 K* p6 e) ]
4 B, L* @0 F- {5 x+ GWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 a, [/ D: u/ _& d7 L1 K' zof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
. `! a- Y* L; t4 lThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- L7 d8 E  |2 V& Q: I# Iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
& R" R" S/ t  K8 F6 \
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
0 u. n3 w7 R, m) ~3 H& B
* S3 t0 G  a, Z' C0 E4 k: Vunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
7 C' P; Z9 |3 ?) }8 N" e
+ Y. b6 Z$ [# @) l" t# g, c: hfor life if you play your cards right.
. b* l& }! I9 y  \+ ?3 H' D$ X



2 T/ ?* @; d6 @9 F% c3 F** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
; |- }2 a* P- \7 H

( k8 H: @* n% d& i5 [' N# h  k
! S2 X0 L/ g3 mForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 Q- O8 Q2 f. Mletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
6 h8 w. }2 x! T; ?+ a+ T3 Z! xor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
1 t; \1 e: D( w( `7 K
' S5 z- ~' I: Z2 ^$ O$ B

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.