Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) v! s- V8 x) l" M8 ADad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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5 l- S/ U; u4 c0 I2 H1 UJOB DESCRIPTION:
& x6 Q% {0 D) D0 C2 g- @( [0 S8 tLong term, team players needed for challenging,
6 e6 B( x2 N; D( T
0 U: G* i1 j- dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 Y/ r0 k# @& v. n3 m3 z- @Candidates must possess excellent communication
+ Y+ Q3 r- D* e, o$ `and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 {3 S7 T  F1 p# e- Ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ E3 m+ F6 v' R# fTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

- h' e* H1 l) @7 L" f# t% d& ~RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
$ n1 s' e+ I: \5 r8 z4 w( XMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ T! \0 O( U, b; @% X; juntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ R/ F' {% N" `# e, R4 A; I9 }1 AAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
; A7 H* J) }- x6 [) Q9 I# R; V/ `the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. P, C9 o; f/ a& {$ {$ JMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# r6 }8 k8 g! p+ r$ ]5 X( V2 `such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  n$ c! F2 _, uand stuck zippers.
4 m) }; P; a4 Z7 ~. o  sMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ Z$ @! D" Z9 H3 |$ Ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' k0 [5 W7 x6 ?& a5 wMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ a; y: s6 S9 l, R6 Ran embarrassment the next.
& f6 r3 Z: [, EMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; O/ E  }  V! V/ v" g# J9 G8 DMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 P# I! p( s. l. V7 d& ZMust assume final, complete accountability for
( n  I& |) z0 t) s8 X4 T) fthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 A9 z  E5 b! }& S( ~janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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6 i2 E: c( M, t. W/ p3 \2 ^PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  r/ i' s' \/ RNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ ^7 y& V9 C6 r/ ?  hGet this! You pay them!
9 ^: d( I- r& Z5 q2 G9 S; m3 }& dOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
9 }4 U" o! J& i" AWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 x+ y+ ~6 `% [! e; oThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
5 a6 |! {# D" w: ~0 U' m. m+ E5 j  yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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- v  x0 @$ H2 d" n% D3 ZBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 W% D! a" D% d4 k3 bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
- d! m0 q+ G- a- r$ E9 x" gthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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; s* J! o, e9 q; g" q  Ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
5 J4 ~9 M  b1 A% U
for life if you play your cards right.


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  p6 P* o1 B. l  C3 \" A" [** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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  v% n: \( t; I. a( eForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.