Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
+ S. }  _5 J& i, p# X9 c+ ~Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
& k2 O( C% Y7 D8 L/ O; _0 bLong term, team players needed for challenging,

2 J- Y, \( h* O2 ~5 ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
9 |+ {) l& U; c) T; q3 E; a3 \and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
( s1 f  u+ k- P& i& G% pSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* n* f: F8 @5 A- ?Travel expenses not reimbursed.
0 e0 G/ A6 E& S( hExtensive courier duties also required.
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' m6 U. L5 Y3 \1 `+ tRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' N+ y( P; K& f& yAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& B( s" i: T$ {# i! y4 L* P1 tin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ n5 r  Y( m* J; ZMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  i) R2 u4 b0 n) X* A  N. esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
4 D) `2 L- M+ z! b; R& j* {5 @! P/ `Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ ~7 O; R1 V9 l$ h" @' t6 Tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% Y) S" b  J! c* eMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 w. d5 N9 R6 {4 }" x  Q  b3 xan embarrassment the next.
# N  s2 E) K/ _" Q% _Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" g  y$ g9 F8 h, Jhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% T0 }  c2 x2 M! q& K2 Y3 k; T- JMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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8 g" m5 Y4 s; nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 J. T; q  z/ k- {0 C( uNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
, o# }. M  t: W6 P" Fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
# _$ v6 o; H) l; Z) q% }3 M& ^updating your skills, so that those in your charge
  J% B7 r) D9 D  b  s2 Hcan ultimately surpass you.
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" q2 j& x( \! s0 i+ JPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! m( O" M) T, i3 Y* KNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 `. l( s2 _0 }6 JGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  t' ~4 e4 B: q6 @! l. F7 aa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- n  w! E. |; d" p* rof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 H9 h& Z; R* G" ~- zThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 b! j$ _6 S+ G) Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; v6 E8 s7 j% e2 ?7 Yno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

5 k# p; q7 c1 v# p* sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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! S" y$ w; P: y** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
1 Q- ?3 @6 F: C. Rfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.