Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: ~" ^' U$ @  d. _8 p* _Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" Y' |2 v5 @: O0 L: x8 D, y) n6 B0 FDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
3 |5 W: o( W2 {" x

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 ?0 K! l8 A! x$ {Candidates must possess excellent communication
7 ?# u/ ^: u& o5 Wand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
5 N% Q& r9 t/ b, I" x( f) HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
/ {$ n4 X! Z! bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! u4 [/ Y2 l9 D4 W# S3 ?" _3 I* @( ITravel expenses not reimbursed.
( `6 D( @' t4 F7 a/ _/ ~$ E* WExtensive courier duties also required.

" B4 {9 M: B9 K( x3 P" l; fRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
, I' d$ w# l! @( ?3 Z. rMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ G) E, j+ R4 Y" g8 aand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! l& p5 I- J9 k9 uin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 t' N9 p/ ]/ \7 m9 {; hMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
- F4 o/ W0 s2 `3 a. w# z# A$ pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
8 R- ]. E2 ?  Q. D6 m7 L9 v0 fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ O7 I2 w0 G5 n. C7 ]0 W* f! mMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  v  @) `. W2 c0 k2 DMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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/ K9 H0 ?5 [2 K! V" oPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
( d% D1 O7 V; f: cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
- [1 P* v! M% {- U" x% I$ ]5 |updating your skills, so that those in your charge
; t. K& T- b) b8 \0 a. gcan ultimately surpass you.


/ C5 b2 g7 ^0 x$ Z6 d0 ?PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% k/ r0 Y3 Z+ I( G7 p$ Q: [# l# FGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  V% b8 X9 ~4 j# Jof the assumption that college will help them
+ a7 ?8 o- O2 M# t: m/ s& |- Cbecome financially independent.
. ~6 F. _* X  g/ f. H" hWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 B6 m$ G0 A: q* H' O/ myou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
0 x: c% B+ A. c" G+ @
5 ?! G2 Y2 s9 jBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ O7 G! A/ M9 ^7 V5 ~no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

; o2 \6 ?: K% P' _) w" zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
  j  Z) G) @  i! `. _- {9 R
( f$ G- d+ F" f) z% ?for life if you play your cards right.




/ p" J! t; _" t" p: i** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
3 }( [0 G/ M0 h7 i7 H6 F


* g* V) f" B( D$ f$ V6 G9 H9 k" }Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 B# ^5 K; U6 bletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.