Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 X! h7 \! p" q7 M8 s* B9 \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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0 D& ~" H& O4 T/ g# A4 OJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ ~6 X- I5 x" w- s% s8 u( D) Uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- `2 p" y" E$ h9 P$ ESome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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" K* d+ M9 z2 o2 q, vRESPONSIBILITIES:
4 t! t$ ~: h$ U& g6 `& IThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
0 b$ k. J" ~( T. IMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 M& ^; z# I9 j8 B  ?Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ j* T- X1 ?) j. j/ O% B; u3 o* T! [and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" g) g) [; y$ N8 ?( m) ]& P8 D1 p8 aand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ _* ]7 u, ^, a9 j! V- wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( U% _+ X. M2 dMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' g, G) `) S9 ^8 a6 C( RMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 c1 v2 b) R9 [6 w2 B2 o$ I7 Xan embarrassment the next.
  B  N1 S- \5 }, D2 T4 c! GMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& {" H8 o" w' ~0 i4 {. l8 }Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 C$ I" [( }+ y1 EMust assume final, complete accountability for
- ]1 o9 b6 W4 q% h! f& F$ [( L2 tthe quality of the end product.
9 n! i3 i/ t, q& z, u5 \% NResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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# y8 C& Y2 [' f0 w. E0 s. yPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, j* t/ F. f( ?3 [" \can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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  k. {6 x* O, z, p9 V! I5 OWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
# U3 o- ~/ m- ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
5 O4 i& I& i. B  l' {# r7 ^% R9 R8 Hbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 n1 E; E1 G. `" d: T& {/ Q3 u( ^The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

9 L4 G, Y: U0 U9 X6 MBENEFITS:
9 g& f* g3 c$ `, C0 v( OWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
' t& F0 h) B8 F3 Y8 G" Ino tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% W# }/ b  Z: T; p0 ]no stock options are offered,
% L! d3 I0 X. _* V6 ~this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

* z6 N( N' x$ R6 Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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* U9 I# o) M* A5 {' ]+ TForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
" p5 ]" v7 N2 C( F8 U3 e* `for the fabulous job they do...
* W- w2 X/ Q8 Q9 Q' N& A4 ]or forward with love
( `% G1 i- @2 a3 A- ^6 V, rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.