Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 r* G' K" Q, b& BMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


8 @- A$ G- }& g8 n2 o, N" SJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

  Q7 v  a+ i. G2 w/ Z* ?permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ K. J# M. U, uCandidates must possess excellent communication
5 X5 H& T7 h4 K+ U# `and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 V+ O3 v2 ~( Z/ t8 jSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& M* R; G2 q2 M( D$ ^' Q% x1 NAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 ~5 H1 g, g8 J2 din case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
5 N$ K0 u$ l/ I! E2 v$ ^Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# J0 `7 j& @8 x9 Ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 X, S& @! o, O2 }Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 D* C  A9 k5 F: XMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
; z2 A& Q) c! E- L# R* jan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) q* J4 [( M6 ?* o( O& o+ bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) A5 ?- C1 H6 Rjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

' ?9 Q" ^- t) R$ r5 s  d" ~/ C+ VPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
/ M& ]3 b/ m6 G( ~Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
, `! m+ s& I) O, f7 F7 Ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
/ ]- X6 o$ v* U+ m) n4 nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 i4 @, ?* b/ D8 ]# {' `can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! N6 H# O& j; l& H, Jof the assumption that college will help them
5 V  U4 \( E+ H. N, Zbecome financially independent.
- V& g" s: ~8 l$ KWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
: Z1 j  l) c% K! H" N5 V5 k( s# YThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& a) R5 {0 _# x5 Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, x+ u# v. F5 f9 [/ [/ Lno stock options are offered,
( p2 W7 |; ]# [4 Fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

+ |0 T: J, Q/ K0 Munconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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8 a& `8 B$ k$ u' B) d** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
3 g3 e5 w6 `! w, Hfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.