Crazy English! Zt

victorw

ZT

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Crazy English!

' B2 j  M) }/ a1 _1 r9 T5 H: RWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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, a5 y% _! e2 \; @7 G! v9 KOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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+ X" H' e& [. ^4 ?  s( L/ H$ O) {If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

9 s* z7 X) ?- ]. k8 J% d) E. ?4 JThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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& G2 [3 J2 i" |# h1 ]We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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9 q1 K/ `  Z  L0 m. ]$ dThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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6 D& n  H+ `! |  VThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

2 F( U( p% J1 Z* e1 x4 PDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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# {& W, c+ H4 i  `5 FIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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. e4 j/ s: w7 i) lHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

+ }$ r, g0 }/ L$ V5 V5 k) [6 sYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane