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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol6 {% ]0 E% d) s' K" S' |
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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+ \ G# v. Y6 E, p1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.2 n8 ~. C! U$ w5 b: o4 S
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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0 a, ]; C2 L$ x0 s) J8 K4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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6 T" w2 {. Y3 @+ f6 h& z5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.6 i6 ~0 Z+ s$ E. S
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7 g# L' G, h4 O" F4 Q' M7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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$ P, ^+ M3 c4 M( C9 W6 c1 {/ d0 @- ]5 F8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.4 ^) H( u! F* ^
* Z' V: d& g0 u( ~( W; N5 L10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.5 a6 M' g' B! }, M" O* i/ n
) k1 u, k9 Z6 R1 |11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!1 E& q0 } d9 d
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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0 X$ a9 _& N2 c' i. V. e1 ~' {And; last, but not least!)
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