 鲜花( 47)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Dress Code:
* V. G+ K+ f. M7 j" i1. You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
9 {/ q( g& x [4 T Z3 u9 D2. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
8 A, H" k* C# M0 |" l9 ^# @/ h3. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. # T: I& }) [, C, |" J$ ~6 X
4. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
6 p6 R, y, _9 x ~6 m4 k8 o- T2 t
" `& ^/ E8 }7 U" {Sick Days:
/ }6 w* \& \& I7 U" g BWe will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. * d: {% I; Y! W% q
6 S! E- f* f6 C' P$ n
Personal Days: / f$ |$ u }' f* n- I9 A0 V1 N
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays. 6 |5 C2 b8 G( A0 D5 H
4 \2 [ Y# |7 d r' }9 s
Bereavement Leave: ! _* }& a/ K) s* L$ z
1. This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers.
( v. s) R( u4 E" i7 ]2. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements. 8 t" P: G) q' ]- n: d7 y: _
3. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late af ternoon. 8 k, \5 w9 m7 B% f/ T; v
4. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early. ! H4 ` ~' j# c7 d; F" r
! k+ r [9 Z3 p. V6 W# ?3 G: S' o0 V
Bathroom Breaks:
' `. K! f" M5 Q+ @1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. 1 v' ^$ K+ V/ z/ Y* ~& @2 b
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken.
: q; r( v& C7 _: l/ T, s! X5 p3. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. . P+ J. e/ L- z3 |) a
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
1 ~5 S$ P, C5 `, R$ i, M+ S% l J9 _
Lunch Break: : N9 P2 p* Z' Z- Z7 [3 o
1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. ! u" S4 D' z, d y- k7 I9 _0 h
2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. ) T+ z M9 f* d6 x* R
3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. 6 D* |' l+ c* W
; u0 A0 `8 X1 x1 e: tThank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation s, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
$ ?5 h9 A6 g7 x
% F2 h7 @" x& L7 @& @The Management
3 D2 `& @' m4 B3 C4 A
/ x: V8 [# G5 {4 @& X" |: w; U2 JPass this on to all who are employed. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-8-15 08:41
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
