 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : * r* v. U) I8 K3 d5 p) F
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.; I4 \' N' p$ Q1 [+ [4 X+ S
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ! N- [6 B/ r6 I9 a
v/ d; f) v: y% O, P6 f4 cIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.5 t9 O5 i, |' k/ W* X
. E7 c M7 b; Q5 U5 t$ |* C$ yLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
1 r/ @% C$ j/ g; P8 ~, {! Hmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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5 [) F( m& z9 T, _Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5 t1 y, K8 @( a; u: u+ j# y% ~" R
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. + P. P9 p" C/ n: m5 y. y+ ^( f. L" F2 Y
$ P N* _4 S8 }/ ?% _Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 q: `) Z8 v7 R: }! v+ h
) ?9 P$ p( Q3 t; A% D& e8 i3 i) B9 JRinse conditioner off hair.7 K$ c$ b& J! U& `3 O# A
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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# W# o& q+ X% O; T s/ f7 _* c" lSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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: l8 ?" Z: H& {( T% \9 a: A6 ZSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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7 Z: T" r; F) k. i1 `( H9 w. ~Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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9 { [3 b) @6 [1 v0 _, ]1 K) ]Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. $ O1 |. j1 c `
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. + l9 G5 E2 z8 y- ^
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. Q4 t T- F% _& p% q$ w+ |HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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2 a4 a/ |' z* L2 PTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. + w6 F4 p; e# m$ r2 J
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Walk naked to the bathroom." A3 i' C% I; W W
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. : w$ F/ `8 e* R1 |
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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& u/ z! p, H; e8 \Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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3 \/ E, j) @* E5 ]# ^: mFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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8 i: q# ^/ J' |1 L" MSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. k* F2 p- v8 Q4 R
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ' r. }* B/ I5 f3 L
1 |3 T D9 I# uWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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4 k& ]' _% {1 m4 s0 M% O' r* @Partially dry off.$ I* y( k& ^2 K& M0 B
6 \3 p2 S0 ]4 ^" F) hFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. , j% a! T6 H U5 h
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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) J1 G1 p+ Z7 RLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 0 P) r% W! c9 i# _! {
: g/ v; a. s( x4 hReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. / ~- _( T7 f6 h6 }+ o1 R
% \& E8 }8 |+ G! D. Z9 KThrow wet towel on bed. $ h" Q) Z- r5 p* P
+ g L: \+ i3 cIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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