 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ' k2 q/ h" u" t5 B+ U0 s1 o' A
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0 e' t( U' ]$ A1 c' p0 ATake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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# {& m+ p2 z5 c G: c/ ^0 LIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.1 Q, t% C) n( v
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 2 D3 ]( X$ {5 k; L+ r
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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. {6 O V* E- Y' rGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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8 c+ t* i# \4 `3 j" g9 [3 WWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. - A9 z7 j! u/ Q
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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& n* C4 _8 m4 u2 R5 vShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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) f; k z) \6 j$ J) }Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 4 Z8 Y3 `; h. e
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 5 U# _2 @3 `& f+ |" f, ]
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. + @7 k z& `' d
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 5 ]2 r5 e, c- g) l0 w
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; b/ ]7 H0 G# u7 S4 B) [HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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- R w6 |2 }2 t' Q( `3 WTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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% J) A8 M [! R. r4 F1 ^/ @! H4 w+ gIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. , h. s# f6 i) b! p; ]# T: P4 Q8 @" G
9 S1 _5 M, W9 c9 {Look at your manly physique in the mirror. * B0 `( `. c" o9 |) O- ^& u
6 E9 o4 D( d3 R" i2 `5 r1 B$ _Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 8 p' N, [2 K/ v) Y4 [* v1 W
0 L9 u( y% u* |$ I$ B! zBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 6 v1 L! ~2 s4 O
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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/ q: H0 r D% [* o' Y; GWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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+ n- n5 w1 h7 f+ \Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ; @: h+ P( U/ E9 C
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- ^9 O9 P' Z" u5 o3 h4 ]" Q: [Rinse off and get out of shower. * Y. B5 ^6 l* d4 F9 N
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ' g/ J7 F7 o( O% M
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ; y) F! S! i) C I- X
E! T5 Y2 B5 U* g) Y# d* ?Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. " @; S( m) Y% X2 D$ a- R
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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4 w# v: U7 \( v2 ~7 K6 L1 QIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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