 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ; W3 H4 w g. x7 f
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.4 {" _. J+ U1 s2 c8 w; c- i
) L' M' `3 F2 x% v" X+ f% i" l$ sWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 5 }: N7 g* X+ G |- P& y4 f
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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) \! D- b' a: p8 W" T ULook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 6 Q; w0 U: J8 D5 z0 r# ~
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.& }! H7 b' u0 |8 l. Y3 i
+ Q9 c, d/ |# \* R$ }& tGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean., N) n) O' s H/ _. s! ?4 X
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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6 @" ]5 j' a" r l vWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 1 S" P) a `% a9 F
. i. R b1 _9 e0 yWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 0 G: i* y6 O, Y! y0 |; m
9 n9 s# i9 Q" v0 n, X2 PRinse conditioner off hair.
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' T- M8 s& r! G5 M5 C7 t' }Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.9 W% G! v j1 C7 h( y3 [
6 J6 z# ]% |/ F: e; I7 CSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.& d+ D; G. y( K4 t- {% _% f1 S
5 g; q8 v+ F$ h: v7 ]+ iSpray mold spots with Tilex. 1 k8 R" A0 j$ Z! f/ I9 m1 X% ?. E# \
# x' z, ~# s9 _8 GGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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, w0 U- D7 l& H4 bReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * v% y) ^+ n, V* `: q$ R5 y
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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3 x8 @6 V# e% P; E/ V2 |# KHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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, a. y6 L% s" ATake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. & T, @: e$ D S n# V2 y
# g# {$ V% T; `3 `# v" X4 c @Walk naked to the bathroom.6 k4 V T+ {! J# R4 `! o
; Z8 d! |* X% _5 H' Y# JIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. & j* h" D" X' F3 b
4 r' N. t. V; n$ H! WLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 0 O0 M' d: S7 V9 |( Y9 |
9 a- l, I0 b9 w7 {8 d; zGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. & c) \8 R I" c8 F5 ~, X
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ( |! A5 C: r7 y* c$ {2 C
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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- L; F& V- ]5 x9 p; Z7 ^) aSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. - ]7 {9 K9 [3 @7 T
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. # L8 q+ T- f' C- \
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Rinse off and get out of shower. & o; j; R! U& A% ]; G. H& J. k
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Partially dry off.! I7 h2 }8 H5 @
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ! q; q9 l1 ~- ~% h
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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, e0 r9 r- I- T6 X$ ?# O1 |6 M C$ a, ~Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 4 U5 ~1 v$ F/ ]- M; M
3 ^( j0 D0 p. m. X* C. Y* wReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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+ n1 X: }! q: o9 l- q% H; A6 ZThrow wet towel on bed.
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6 V9 j# r, o6 z5 I6 f$ uIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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