 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : # m; D% y9 \. P" d9 v7 `
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+ E3 u- ]0 h& Z( Z. q: E hTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.% r1 d! c, K! o2 V
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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/ {9 Q t; z+ k: eIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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3 c F7 G; f' P- E7 sLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
n+ s/ Z& f' b9 \/ l `' Vmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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" U9 K* E& I! j# [Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. " Y6 l$ {8 W5 b
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..$ \' {4 \9 k; W- @6 R- Q# F
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ; m1 X; B$ L" I/ s' H( Y
( `, n1 B, Y! V3 M' J: f- pRinse conditioner off hair.& K, [+ Z0 ~; U/ v& G
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Shave armpits and legs.
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6 O3 g( L' P& f1 v2 [Turn off shower.
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) u& t1 C4 u; o' {Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 3 E; ~/ Q$ y |; P
1 P1 G# Q. ], Q3 K5 w3 QGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 2 g o$ u4 P; o5 s. k5 B( U
% C9 K& ?/ @; O4 J, {Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 3 S. K' {! z/ Z1 B7 _
+ |% m" y) b) Q! BTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.$ o8 U' [& N4 K1 H7 Y, W0 z4 z8 s7 k
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. : N$ X6 W, {# [$ U* ~2 g
. n9 j4 h7 _7 `+ mLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 4 u9 J D* e: p- r' F' F
U% C0 K; h7 G/ e' b7 U2 CAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 3 ^; @' v& K" O0 J
5 F* z, h9 O- _7 k" @ wFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 ]0 Z- K8 V- B5 i
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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4 c8 ~' _. e( HFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. # B4 l6 j' m4 Y8 X" V; U3 w' P: y
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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p- k. i$ D2 s9 A0 y7 bLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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