 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : & a `$ h9 ]5 U, P/ h* O$ g8 T
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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; _7 k* R$ O- ~7 W( g; ^2 ]Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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. \' O" S) x# B1 ?! z {8 CIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.+ }6 _- U; {( b, E$ k
$ a) |# P+ |4 Q$ N/ N* K4 lLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- * ]% w- H1 u5 l. |
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.8 ?' n' P j+ @$ G$ l+ x
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * q& i$ c1 {6 Z9 Z
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.0 e1 Q- K$ l9 k6 |% t; _5 ~4 z5 i
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..8 {$ X1 b- D+ c6 Q. A+ k
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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' C' n- ?& ~" K" D6 h* ]# sWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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8 Q. {/ f/ u3 }1 f. H5 zRinse conditioner off hair.6 k% p2 Y- E: A# a4 `
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Shave armpits and legs.+ s" C) v$ Q, F
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Turn off shower.( y8 l5 j8 X6 U" I) o& Y
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.# a8 S8 o6 c q8 V
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. & W; ]& j' x! ?$ s, H0 N; C1 Z) F' ?
7 [3 T' Q U1 _ A: B5 cGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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4 d; c; O' L( r' ZWrap hair in super absorbent towel. $ @0 \; |3 ]$ a
! C9 Y2 m( J5 NReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ) P, H/ Z- N, L/ N: X" m
% Y) @$ h4 \5 XIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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6 {* P1 ]4 M& LHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: M$ u' Y! ]2 i
z" L8 j) G& aTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ( C+ e: d' o& t; z. w2 |
& f; C, {0 J, zWalk naked to the bathroom.! l& o& ~8 E2 |' \* O. n: ]) Y- s2 X
1 d7 [4 B/ h0 V1 y4 d6 v3 f. O. a7 T/ \If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 6 E" V1 l* j5 r" p0 a; @# Z2 B
7 j {0 ^7 l: U& xAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. % j7 T' P/ ^' @ G3 V/ K
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 1 G% k/ P3 Y) M& S
) b/ A0 r8 x$ s. Y" Q+ pBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. % _# x& _6 \+ \
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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' L: g& i" O. B% d$ d+ TWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ) z) K4 e8 ?( F# R- A
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Pee.
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/ q7 n0 K6 L, I2 p, F$ ERinse off and get out of shower. ' f d3 }8 Q& K8 Y+ U
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Partially dry off.
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$ ], q; l+ S. L$ U1 [/ QFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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" `1 @9 v3 r$ L- U9 tAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 3 c4 ?0 L' T% H5 W- R7 M4 p# |
- [) w3 l5 G6 p; [Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. W% K: [$ O5 ? D' I
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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1 b/ y9 F) X/ [0 W, g3 ^: U) i7 tThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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