 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : # {5 j+ e( c/ r# }, s; P8 c
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.5 b3 N$ T0 W' H
/ `6 @' i: ^3 S' [4 H- bWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
* m5 \" `7 v* K# ymake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.4 E" K6 ~0 e5 ?3 J
1 {6 \2 ^* f# K0 U' kGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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7 l% Y! @4 N9 r4 E* {# YWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.% G- f$ R6 C- Q* M% {/ X
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 5 l5 E7 e" T2 U( r5 b. M/ Z
2 T$ _7 d* {) \+ `/ v" wWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. + b- E% T& O! Y" P; j, V$ ]6 d
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Rinse conditioner off hair. ^% s* _9 {5 @. c
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Shave armpits and legs.8 R$ s# U d/ ]# O' ]2 Q
+ Y( z# e4 Z5 O9 Y9 k, M. S! tTurn off shower.% C* m& b6 E4 g1 X
" a8 L" V0 z7 B# ^Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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# v* k+ c. y6 Q+ D, RSpray mold spots with Tilex. * K( J8 @2 v4 \; F# A9 ]* H
" x/ h2 B1 F" jGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. , P# U0 f1 E5 u' x3 i
, L; }3 L% @+ K# B) G4 VWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 0 i$ K& B5 U" Y6 V9 \8 s+ h
+ A7 J/ r; }( [3 i3 n7 _$ y) n, NReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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% O; @2 M* q7 R/ v' t7 u: h5 e! T4 xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ! H- U& C# e% _7 o/ t" @8 u; I1 i
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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9 h0 q9 _9 N- |/ p& c* P& J+ ^* Q6 DTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. * A# o i9 Y6 Q1 a
6 D# X ?* w8 ]7 f% `% VWalk naked to the bathroom.
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: V2 ^- u! F/ N S) Y$ c" HIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ' k- n# V: V# R: O5 l: _
; n+ k- x/ ?4 A1 T* ALook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. / c. _( V" I% j( V4 C. k! e8 R! |2 c
, b! z* b, J% H! o/ A/ B1 Y% P7 EGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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8 V& H) X% f& F2 A5 Q, U) K4 zWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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( E' h0 Q' o: I6 L' v+ Z( \Rinse off and get out of shower.
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# ~; _' f( m/ p7 V) D4 iPartially dry off.$ w, b1 a0 Z7 H: t( B
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ( y, m0 X/ @+ c* s$ I
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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3 a/ _* k# y8 }Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 1 ?& P3 k; L9 ^
3 o# c' y$ d5 ~5 P% B' P' aIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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