 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
7 h: W% G) H4 E& K6 Y; {! [& m7 \ d% I( {
1 T! O1 {( j" ?' ^0 m! @! v, v7 H--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
$ U0 X/ H4 k0 ?' a. \7 ^* m6 R7 q- q5 M3 U1 r
* O" p, f: h" p3 r; Q ! R4 Z) ]! ^' U5 }
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
" V, F) w/ j, z0 p2 [5 {5 R) a* W
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. / d( G- J2 p6 i' f7 N
# [" D4 Z" w5 N, M; r1 {
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
( U+ ]$ S- y: x# }, k7 I- n/ R7 {: ]4 R1 [* k5 T2 y6 v& M
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
& v8 \) w O) _3 T% X# t3 _; [2 E7 umake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., I& a/ t8 d% H' ]3 b" {) b
1 c ~+ R Z" S7 Y# X9 |
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
) }/ v0 w& S1 e: A9 l$ p0 C5 {8 b. s3 _! A0 [9 q( r" j8 L4 X
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
1 k, I, m3 S& V5 \* |" [: V" ^, b% G! \$ G ~0 L- v$ l
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
2 s! k5 e1 A% @" S3 V1 i3 P; |! u* h1 C' ]
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..5 G( G" s& v# @9 O! N, V9 R$ P
U! s' @# ]5 p" P4 W" P- P0 o
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. : Q, \/ i$ @6 }/ N7 m. L4 a
# m0 n5 q* i1 a6 e6 sWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. , c4 x# b7 e% [& F
% [7 {8 r- W8 y9 c8 Q4 Y8 oRinse conditioner off hair.4 P1 Z3 r2 }$ O: X6 O
& j( ]! M; U/ F+ u3 x
Shave armpits and legs.
4 S. Y1 Y9 B- t4 g3 g, j' ?
5 {- t+ a* E5 o" X& tTurn off shower.
9 o/ _4 L' J- C: [( j
" }& r1 ]2 u0 x7 e! r3 kSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower., k D# f( I# X; ^
" ~. }4 M! l$ O8 G* c% V
Spray mold spots with Tilex. : b) s; ~# I/ z/ t4 D) G4 y
6 _- R' C: u& f' O: n) Y
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
" d5 I: O$ X) \/ K- J0 e; o% Q8 p4 A- f5 J- n! z
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ) {. p- p' A% a2 [ z N' q
3 m$ L7 [! S9 E) }5 v2 L! rReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
* Q$ C6 N! V/ a+ X7 f2 F* {3 [5 F% `0 d7 @ K" B4 c
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
; Y( I% v+ F2 ]9 K+ L( S1 L$ X$ }( j6 P/ S; d
4 O6 V- u' g& U% w" oHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
i: q! K6 V" G# O k# X2 S: ]; z+ l3 F
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
; Q8 H# C( X" q; _4 ~; |+ `) V3 k; {+ a! h/ L5 R
Walk naked to the bathroom.3 m$ N8 k/ e2 L% g+ G
0 Y" ^. I/ I5 r V9 I. S- b
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
( |; h* g4 s8 `- C# d( o9 N( U+ a
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 4 w& c+ g+ _# _
& I) d9 o& f' B6 ~0 fAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
$ I% s8 \0 U9 \3 |/ m% K
7 k3 w% T% Z! C/ I( ]+ h2 aGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
# R+ A. e9 {+ t1 j x+ o: Z7 H+ \' ~# X
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
- | F1 j4 y$ ^, o& I2 f% U! m" r- G
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. / x, g) D" q! }! t8 X
2 O+ v* r8 i3 j/ |' O+ l2 Y$ FSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 9 L# R$ n6 K! F2 Q+ p6 E/ g
1 J0 H+ ]- e( F. c1 H
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
) m+ q% v, Y1 ?0 L* S
) l, k( N0 u7 Q( Q* k, w# ?Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. " K) ^" j1 h( F, Q5 s
! ]9 o' S7 B5 `7 C3 O
Pee.
$ B) H/ b7 s& O$ V+ X* t: U* Z
~7 y5 K n( d: HRinse off and get out of shower.
1 P4 y1 {, C1 Z; C6 H* {3 \7 i9 @
- p: I, b1 \; f% }Partially dry off.6 Y7 z+ x, G3 ~, L. }+ m
6 u' G7 H" P6 z# y+ [, {/ MFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 7 @4 A/ k( P8 z! b, ?9 Z
. I6 }# ]5 o; ~( O% O2 y. `9 g
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
5 W# j7 R0 J1 F. q# m) G7 `$ j4 C+ u) H* g# ]0 I
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ' u3 ~, X9 H5 f4 {! M
8 G1 C. O, b/ P, fReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
6 c( [3 Y( t- T1 k3 @( T: b$ q) f C) Z, T- c; _
Throw wet towel on bed. & |! c+ _2 w- @; W4 J8 R [
* G. _+ ?6 [0 ?& V& J" sIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|