 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ?- C: u$ b( G5 b( I; {0 a3 h% H
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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, [7 n' R) y2 b" U! t9 r9 mWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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: J3 l& s: w% ~) RIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.: u2 G% H# n0 h' J9 d) V
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- / _+ h% x/ g e- R* M. ]- F
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.4 O8 n0 N5 @, z& q, b8 r/ Q. a
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 9 J7 g6 ^% U1 P9 Z" ?. C
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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~* `2 k2 F" ^' R5 ]/ s( _4 s2 TWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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% M; M1 p3 V+ L9 X- [Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..# X( P% |( b; J. J- o' t
# `0 L; i8 n KWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ) `1 r4 @( T5 ~# g5 U0 [# b
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. % d0 f6 e; I; ~3 u6 U1 x* [! x ~
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Rinse conditioner off hair.0 T0 n" N: v4 i3 W
4 L* n' z/ m' oShave armpits and legs.
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+ {1 S8 t e' |! q) @; nTurn off shower.; D9 g1 b' z' {- k
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.8 ?1 O! t; n3 P( \; G
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 3 x3 g P3 i% W/ k! r* p
# q' B/ ~* s zGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 3 _0 m% v" {" f! ?/ q
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. + ]+ C" Z( b% {: {. _5 G8 }1 Q
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: I1 j( s' [3 y a ^$ v8 [9 X, gHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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+ `( G' i5 w9 n% jTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ' S+ D7 ]6 P* D' @' L8 m; x
. t( r. r- k1 ]' I/ ]Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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$ X+ }: W" C N8 y; iLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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0 ]) w) B# J; {8 xBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 6 m' c! H2 B( ~4 e+ r: `5 _
* h2 q0 p1 M6 |Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 0 e: {4 ?8 r! n" ]9 E, z( E' `$ p
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 7 F5 z" `/ }/ k9 z$ \! j9 D# b
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ; A5 N8 O. r+ R M: J
4 Y! B) o( s0 {( I. V! x1 @Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. : u& b5 G, p0 Q+ ~& I# J
K3 c" u( L+ R6 p4 E! PPee.
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/ `- Z8 i7 ^6 P& U ERinse off and get out of shower.
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& g# F& v% G) r2 o2 Q2 qPartially dry off.6 ^- [2 l! P7 x4 ?; V+ q' g7 t
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 3 A8 l1 l3 t: e$ u
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. / `. w" g. U' g6 V( w( s8 F
( x1 _+ ?0 ~( }6 `$ YLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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2 J0 Q1 R; O/ z4 {7 a1 m b1 g6 m. ZReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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, m( _9 h& r* u- F; q. F! ^Throw wet towel on bed. , J% h/ T1 j `7 ? n% Z' n9 ~
2 U* c% A2 x" J# }2 TIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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