 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ' f* q+ ]6 y- J; c
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7 `' @7 z) t# l: e& \Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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. c' u* K5 r2 sIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.2 P0 S; {0 V3 _ ]8 z
( f# g1 Y2 g' t$ f# f0 D, Q& [5 `Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 9 ^; o; @/ q% ^5 C0 z
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc." g/ E4 r* e0 M9 i6 O% ~$ G2 F
' @% F7 N7 D3 A0 S2 ]Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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. l2 H. w0 L) ~4 LWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. : A& s. N5 o* H* H9 [, r# e L
$ m+ k1 P, i; _* h9 j h/ |Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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+ z9 m7 N, u! i$ I3 ^Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 9 H. X& w% G6 b* p4 \
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Rinse conditioner off hair." N% [! k0 A8 r; N# q2 Q+ |' A( ^+ X
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.: G) X$ Q' a- L ~! r
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.6 j7 S3 T4 ^: O. ?1 {( n% H( h, _. i
3 n: L% k+ h: o2 R' w1 ySpray mold spots with Tilex. , W. m1 m8 N2 R& i+ M D$ }
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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) d1 O+ U; N5 @2 J# H+ _Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ; {" ]+ ]- \ O0 T9 j
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. L m! \! y! e5 w7 s* n5 n
( E6 Z" i& @% K/ i4 e, b: G) K3 M# vWalk naked to the bathroom.. O- z, d/ l5 y# @# Q. r1 X
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ; k) J, s5 j+ ^- x1 J
* V k) v2 Q- ~7 D" N& t# n( nLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 0 q/ t% U# J+ Y$ `$ C* h f
@, G# q$ `9 i1 pAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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% m# g5 ?) A' \: g% P. Q) v6 TGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. , e& H- \4 Y3 p" `6 Z# @
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. : p7 y3 d. |3 S! o5 ~
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. % u3 s# b) g% P5 O, X7 H
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.% w7 b7 D" P" K* {3 G9 j) @3 B
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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" W2 ]% |5 J9 T3 Q: `Admire wiener size in mirror again. . C! g* X S, B7 h1 \2 K
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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7 z; Z. {3 v/ q7 G: H" ZReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. f: B) q" O k
( ~- d' \* ^# l$ m2 `# l8 Y6 yThrow wet towel on bed. / I7 l: h- v5 [" b3 N$ B
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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