 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : f: |& F/ w; z
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- v1 W, @ A0 \* XTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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: {, w" F' O5 N& UWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. - E& f3 b4 r* B7 k2 ^( ?* R
4 G, J+ A1 s8 A1 T" r' i: V6 VIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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" s" m9 b* d3 n3 F- FLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
% T" B1 y& W4 j! ^% C# qmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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% m2 J0 X4 F6 nWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 1 c$ U) |, u5 k2 F4 `
6 W4 I+ ^ Q( `. a* k8 S& hWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..) L1 |5 `9 E/ f, s0 e
; ], g+ \3 O. kWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 3 q( w% ^2 G; C
2 V) r6 H% p# _' u7 ]- }+ r7 CWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 ^/ [ Y2 E6 ^1 [2 e
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs. V5 l6 I* c! ~( C& u* j# |7 f
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.- @% s6 z2 K. P/ w6 ~& P
& Q7 E) A' W# j, k2 |4 gSpray mold spots with Tilex. 7 w) K9 a; P& H y) |$ h
1 \' A2 A+ q3 N4 n. G" O* I* ^Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ' ^: f% w- L- M. E4 W
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. % q0 W2 G- ~, _& a- ^! P
; J W' R* k/ D* I0 T, KReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. : }5 n, d' Z+ H
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: . [( w2 Y$ u& \* s; l$ s8 S
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ' T# ?* U- b& F2 ~5 A. _
, `! j: `* u/ S* A0 v6 q5 OWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. v: U, P. i* |/ b/ d2 {
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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+ ^" J3 h0 I3 j2 h1 V% PAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. g) o& E( |1 s! ]4 u
4 L# P4 W% _0 kGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. * i7 |, I6 G( X
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 _+ Y. H3 @8 @# p
+ f$ r' c. R }9 A2 T' ^Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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# s2 u- D3 C9 y' Z- i+ l' zRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. - ?* z0 j3 ~) { e! R! T
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ) J t3 H* i1 g+ `& x
6 Z+ K- v' G; x$ MLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; |; N0 l) R, L4 v2 @/ A
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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+ r2 u4 C' b: H+ }' nThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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