 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ) b; p5 g, m: d/ Z: X
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.4 n0 o" }$ h5 z: _, X" V4 S
" q c7 @1 X* y/ U% U7 Z9 j0 ?- R+ ?Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 1 j8 N. c7 k% ?! P
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
8 `+ o/ F1 J# B- P9 j' _! P/ Rmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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4 g& k2 M8 i8 ^" sGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 6 L8 w8 ?8 b i K& j
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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, S8 @/ t4 e' [! I3 W$ Z2 uCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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4 a8 L, w% c& R. Y! f# ZWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 2 k& u0 x# v7 R3 v2 F! u6 e
5 ]! O8 B9 O8 B5 K& D4 w% a( T) QWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.9 m5 c2 o& Z$ B6 I0 H) x: T6 a
) i6 ^6 z/ ~+ a! J, QShave armpits and legs.% [* _5 N5 F8 F' I* T. n
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Turn off shower.& T) e& z2 [7 W* M( ]# x) u
3 x) U5 P+ Q o6 J; kSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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( b! c; u1 h% c! H9 S5 _Spray mold spots with Tilex. , [" _' {: x6 E4 L: k, E$ o7 T
% P! @" [5 P2 t: z! x3 r4 N6 EGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. % ^9 n& N6 {# S) h4 Q9 C: J* F
& y( c, ^+ j M; VWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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9 {/ c6 c4 |! n4 P* fReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. $ |) N3 J9 j1 C& @" c1 q, y
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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& D. q& q7 {0 J& X' XHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ; x5 u3 T) {( X5 z( Z9 P3 O
/ Q; r3 C' c% i0 g6 _+ aTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. + }( r4 z0 E+ p, e0 E
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. , R" l6 j& \$ Z, k+ Z- I1 d
+ F8 q0 K C9 s7 r& }+ K7 {Look at your manly physique in the mirror. , u& ~9 a( O8 W$ w
- [ J! t$ C+ ~( a3 I c0 SAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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0 Z" ?0 [. t- d; vGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 6 a: r3 g' h W1 m; O; j5 l
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 3 t% z, X- w% l8 i! {
5 q$ q: S3 X" ?7 G7 PFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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/ s( b3 [) E9 I( o9 s! zWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. 2 w# s' T7 i' {5 | Y
: r* m. H: _1 g7 L& URinse off and get out of shower. . N5 L4 J0 P, X; T, Z- N
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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]0 F3 x% k* R) dAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 1 }5 w6 \5 n: b( U2 z, u% ^7 _
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. & O* T2 g; a, O' s% u
" X2 Z) J9 d; {8 n% U' }" l% gReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 0 e& \% m, f& ^# k( ?! B
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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