 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ; l1 i$ f, |1 \3 n# |3 \
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2 [/ \9 n4 z6 i6 X+ tTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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$ A( i0 A- T' y5 _Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. , F; }5 o, z4 G6 |' T8 m
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.0 @/ K% I0 r6 G* s2 K1 O
) h+ _8 z. u. V# p* CLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 4 X6 r1 d8 I" ]8 F) |
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.; m, i1 a% p7 w
+ ~/ I( ]6 F. `' ^: B! TGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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6 ]7 q7 w* m3 ^$ Y7 T' @% i9 t G" FWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.* w+ p [1 v" {% h, l( P
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..7 k3 y/ s6 m( x2 ^5 M1 s
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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: }3 a0 ]+ u; zWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.7 S) w! L5 k, d# O
, K3 ~. m) `& ^% c8 c1 Q5 `% ?Shave armpits and legs.7 n6 l; c; m! g
) r/ c* P! ^* P' ?! G8 P, VTurn off shower.
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- |" W4 p7 \) ISqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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( A7 j3 c, ^0 r; w2 I$ jSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ; i$ A/ g+ ]3 c5 }1 l; X9 a
5 F; x/ Y9 I% A6 LWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ( @1 \. U7 V, E+ l; g7 ]
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 7 o" f: x- c0 v5 W
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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: r X6 q% {8 W# K, k8 BWalk naked to the bathroom.. p7 L1 t" s+ G! H* Q
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ; N! i0 P6 F0 X5 \! G
6 p& s8 y/ [/ V* E3 s' O: f4 S( HLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. L4 s$ h `7 v2 _, |1 n( Z M
. W* n0 K6 ^0 h# I( |$ jGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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7 W6 N% R% g' @9 W0 `Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. + P( _% c% x( F- _$ Q3 r
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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/ I# ~. P$ ?% ?# E) s$ z: mWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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; ?# _( v& {; {Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ' z1 `9 O: h; c8 E
4 X, E2 ?& z$ V: N- @2 [$ hPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.% P7 {- q7 [. l0 [
* R) I/ m% q, WFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. & W' x* o/ L7 u+ k# x
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 3 b. @% B3 | r" j+ m& o i$ r
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 3 ?0 Y6 p% W$ D: u) X
6 }1 d. k+ u9 `2 JReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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0 h/ |6 t- H* p3 B+ ~. k' ]. KThrow wet towel on bed. - b& l) S! b4 f# o- a+ A
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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