 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.) j) M3 h8 ?5 Z
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- . t! S* Q- ~& ]& Y& h% F0 U7 v0 ]
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.( z! m+ G2 _' u# @
8 s! N, J$ w) g' V* a0 pGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 4 P) p" s" {4 j9 Q, H
+ X$ |$ ^" z( _; Y6 ?3 o5 OWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 7 a d' \) y5 L
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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! e# a6 V* T- q/ @7 n" g5 I% @Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 7 K5 e( G0 Q2 w" j
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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, m+ H' ]1 H, ?Shave armpits and legs.9 {5 r( {. D) B" \0 d2 Z. h
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Turn off shower.' U! I- A4 X2 A" K1 T( D) J
! R0 O7 H' A" @4 } F% tSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.* ^+ U" Z' G! s8 u+ f
2 r; F7 M4 J* X. V7 y& ?6 b# FSpray mold spots with Tilex. ! y2 X9 D* R' w4 |* X8 I- d% a
& X$ m( ]+ r; H @( m/ L, cGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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# M: Q' G7 J' L* v1 h9 R9 [1 [* qReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 4 d8 o0 I* z! w8 A0 m5 r, b, n R2 O
0 e: [" c2 e9 T* [$ zIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. - k$ z% a' f) n c" V2 B5 O8 H
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p2 O& D6 n4 S* g; oHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 7 ~! c5 m" |' [0 h& i) E% }
7 k1 E8 P8 i( {( C; LWalk naked to the bathroom.# [3 q1 r. g& L% z, G
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. # l! U% b5 |) H6 W
) f- w7 k( ]4 _Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ' d0 f' }) ~5 x& V9 K! e4 M8 \
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 6 j1 S$ `' {+ V, Z" {- U5 _6 h' z
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. * x' }2 T( O; W6 t' V
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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) @, S+ c* `9 C# Y; _, iSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 7 w$ I( n! F# e, Q b3 r1 V; R
8 [% o9 G( Q2 R0 \/ _/ l- k! ~' T0 RWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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* H7 Y" z* p# R4 b) @0 zWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. " a' X1 x" s! I: S! d! J) l
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Partially dry off./ h0 a! L! P% L2 g8 W( o/ h
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 2 o1 n9 e! h. d; p: W
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 3 E7 L# t% E$ r+ E4 [' o1 @
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ) d: r8 O2 u( T
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Throw wet towel on bed. # G4 h9 N! ^2 i" I Z7 Q; @" v9 e
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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