 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 3 b8 h9 A, _9 ?6 T2 M. n2 \9 \
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.4 F, G# I- E6 B+ a0 A
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. & K- g2 s$ c1 @1 J" d
* V5 _9 U; }4 G3 ?4 R: x% aIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
" T" Z" B" b" x% C8 Kmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.' W- |; v+ Y! Q, Z) o* j" _+ l
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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# F+ t9 e+ L. A6 |7 h0 G. kWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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5 M' z8 P6 K) {- ^& V1 {Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. , @4 M9 l! o: E8 ~) }3 S$ l& q
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. " e/ r1 c2 g5 @' }) [" N0 _7 l
* s- e) W7 t2 ]+ f! F( }8 eRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.$ T- N* m! ]$ F' [ U9 o
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Turn off shower.
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. d- g! P, }. KSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower./ f# s! q; K, e. x8 j* I
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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2 {% @/ Y/ c/ J9 f$ Z+ yWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. : Q# X( ~+ j+ Z4 l' Z; P
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 3 {+ v$ z' e& J9 [
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ! [: z4 A; X( A0 f
% J- w( \; v" B+ q) BAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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* ?+ N3 r2 z( m; RGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ' j7 v5 d, ]0 @" @
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. % ]. N/ Z5 D2 @/ j" J& n1 c
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. : E+ Q' R) [ U4 h# P) x
- g7 z1 ]" K5 q' _/ c2 Z, y% jWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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+ Y9 {" J. l! F! R" TRinse off and get out of shower.
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$ E% c$ a: Y! H4 U- x1 wPartially dry off.+ i3 w/ S" T* O5 Z/ k
" y6 o& k6 J1 s+ ?, w5 k8 IFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. & w$ b- E$ h7 K
3 h: P5 f- o: ?: xAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 3 H2 p7 n4 O% r$ ^
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. j5 O% i" Q1 T' s- D; O' U
, _9 u2 I- J; W' P% `Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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; H" |6 n0 p! rThrow wet towel on bed. & d" ^. ~/ E6 ?; M
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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