 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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& c9 d) ~7 j3 `Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.) U9 l& r: @( p7 Z, \0 C
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. . `) b! n; O" r5 T
) E6 H9 n4 r2 O3 Q! P/ s& U3 `! }If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 0 V o. F% x4 v: e9 i3 Z; ~
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. : W) F4 _# Y K4 x, I/ \
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 0 v3 Q7 ^7 s, e3 p' z1 k; ~" h
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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) H! R# h& h T1 `/ ~# B6 j O! HCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..& B! ?# Z% d6 |' ?& y
6 P w- f/ `; l* I0 h% BWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( }* O' ]9 a, @" M( N3 {
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Rinse conditioner off hair.. q' q8 ~; N( S3 g
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Shave armpits and legs.
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/ ?" g+ Z. c6 `& S. H# `! u7 D lTurn off shower.
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6 I& ^" ~9 L iSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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7 V2 h8 r5 d$ A% t; F9 ^* a- Z qSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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6 n# w/ U0 Y+ O9 V6 u/ `Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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% |2 |9 K% q8 o; v5 h8 aReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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* S. Z* G7 s& RIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ' ^) ?! G+ x& L
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ) U/ j* d% V3 ]
' @0 v. _; B# ^/ x. ]Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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9 t3 l9 F! H5 \ q0 AWalk naked to the bathroom.
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( V- Y2 D5 t. w+ k# BIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. t1 S5 K; l8 `& A; c
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 9 q, u8 }8 |- b- y" w
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. - @# Q0 H3 q: M. @# o
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. . P& H0 U( ?7 y3 ^5 R* d
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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# S: j) I* `" k" C6 H& p' D' t/ ASpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 2 I: ]- \, l5 c" Z( Y
7 N+ P8 I: _; R/ T" JWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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' v e3 O9 u6 qPee. + s" c( L1 s l" E! c. H( W, ~5 n
6 S+ O9 c, K) _2 L. gRinse off and get out of shower. - l( r" g2 U4 y5 y9 q
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Partially dry off.
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/ K! Q3 m* X7 y& E8 d& gFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. F9 J- X/ {( T' {+ w
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 5 G6 |& N8 w$ X5 k
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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: R5 h( o& b4 ^8 o4 d4 oThrow wet towel on bed. 3 B' p7 R# H/ @( N/ t5 E
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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