 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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% G6 ]$ |, ^' ?4 J: i. lTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.9 G) k, y9 [0 l2 Q: O: y
& T* S7 T6 p; z/ F; c- y( x9 eWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. $ K+ y! ?' t- p$ g' p8 E' l% ~
; H4 N3 C) K* M' s5 W" F2 nIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.& }& s+ V/ J5 p2 p# d
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
5 s& t3 K' W' I$ K0 vmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.. `3 m/ Y& r1 B) y F! _
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 3 |' G, w0 _& L) h9 q
3 U# ~5 j) P( Z* d/ ]Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. & o& W) G; ~. ?
; x& c: t/ y0 V% S! UWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.! d* [7 Q# ^' `! y1 V+ m0 Y
5 k( J# g. |0 a, ?" n" iCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 5 _+ R% e$ O8 ?) d
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ! P" H* {" w+ U5 N
0 E( A/ s% k# J5 [; y; w, @Rinse conditioner off hair. a6 j( O# G3 @' M
7 m: x! _4 Y- d+ ?+ I' k6 cShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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; N6 ~( w# X, ^* A: NSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 7 \% y% N N5 S* {* z
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 2 {1 B$ k* O; I
, z7 Q( s" L. S+ ^Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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- k; ^# g! z2 F$ L2 E1 Q6 T4 D' ^, L' D0 XReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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$ K* V( E+ ~5 x9 w6 oIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. * { y; e$ b7 F |- t
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 6 g0 h8 w6 a. M; ?" V5 F/ b
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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) a8 m, A4 ?; zIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. # a7 N/ c N& S0 I+ }# E( ~
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. / t% U! ^) D2 x* c& I1 {
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ( _! ~/ ^# b) o- h+ c
7 v4 n" ]9 U% g8 M2 gGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + _* E4 W( z6 V7 A. J" ~3 |% i
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 5 f+ X4 A. L8 ^9 I$ }/ [
8 J( @8 v' U. G6 QFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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+ {( m( f+ }7 u4 X% _" zSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. S4 f& \; z5 K2 w0 @
4 V: j4 n$ e5 J1 I' T% lWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ) @ l- W# n7 J& V( R$ q
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Pee.
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) T3 l* m! B' NRinse off and get out of shower. 5 [' \* y8 L3 t+ m! W# x
n/ A( Y& y9 U! f7 @Partially dry off./ z. b U, ~; n8 X( o, O$ F
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 8 _4 {; {* K! [
5 @3 ~* ` B0 \. cAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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# k# ^5 U8 V! H6 Y7 RLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 7 {, ?' E1 Q# h6 B/ p, Y
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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$ D: ]. \7 C, B: i4 U) @Throw wet towel on bed. / d$ f# ]' `' x8 B+ z& Q
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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