 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ' s0 r+ V0 F9 }. h* n7 z' P
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* }+ _5 ^9 \/ r8 }, e1 s2 b& N, gTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 4 Q% {" Q5 u& y, K5 _
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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' n, E5 o0 ? {( Q8 X6 NWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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. [% o! ~! i/ L* g) ]1 U: _Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..6 ^( [8 y4 S/ D/ A8 K) ?* M8 B; h
( b) V: j) v0 l* aWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.3 i. C7 P" v! ?: g
) Q& N- Y* d9 V9 r% b4 oShave armpits and legs.3 I+ y( X9 s5 i5 e4 T& R
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Turn off shower.! P7 }: T' {( ^8 x2 e
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.+ p+ p% J1 d) g8 R
, `( U) {, ]6 ^9 Y% wSpray mold spots with Tilex. 5 o* `) O5 s7 I) N& P7 D
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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. v9 h% E$ @, N+ U' R) qWrap hair in super absorbent towel. , w1 z: Z4 J* H3 R
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ' u- Y$ ^2 H; ]! l; K' Y
4 Y4 z- e& p7 A& r7 X5 YIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 2 H! [ K# _# R; w
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: G8 t0 g1 |; I" r6 a; ^HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: % V7 v/ L/ G- I5 h2 w# W
6 e. H# Y) @7 bTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 8 n6 R6 j5 [$ [; [8 w: E6 }
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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. a4 {8 _- Y( N( Q/ }If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. $ y" D+ W' |! c' r" ?% r) n @
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ) a) C2 u( U6 n3 @' g
; J8 @- Q# w& K( P3 E% u& M* OGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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4 x0 ]+ |. u+ x* a- {! sBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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4 ?. u- a- t8 S/ F4 b/ EFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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8 f6 L5 l5 U" ^( G" [0 l; JSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 9 Y* ?% J: ]+ x* S( t
% ?9 [3 R6 _7 {1 P, _' g9 `Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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) z; h7 E& K# s3 zRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.7 L( G+ c& M# l+ j
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. # O! }4 d/ ? j% Q+ E- U
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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* m: c: p) Q) H5 K5 S& p& CLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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# a1 ]$ f' a) z( Q4 GReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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