 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.8 x& p+ h5 J8 g, Y' u; m
) d' M0 @- _- \ ~1 ?0 WWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 4 [+ @: u, c" a* \, S& D2 T# p: Y
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. G" V E" v- {0 E
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ! |3 i, c/ K4 m! A! e$ z/ N1 M; O
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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# h" C7 W7 r$ S3 O9 AWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 5 M1 h" h7 V# @
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean., D6 V( S3 q' {3 n+ s( q3 Q" h
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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" ^; G- c) s3 K% }+ TWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. / l5 n2 }0 R$ T8 r! T, L. f3 w3 K
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ; N2 V1 g8 ]+ J% Q
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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6 {. G8 F% s# D; l! l3 F( zShave armpits and legs.
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y* L/ x: C4 q' I# L: X" v1 \Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. - @2 R: m- [( R4 J1 X2 o$ R1 A
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 9 {, j* G: v$ f" S
" f* \1 e; e- @6 IReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 5 J+ q, I% t& d! f; C
6 `% W, m- G2 m" K5 _ N- Q. wIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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: g8 q( x3 T5 D, H* qHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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* w' _0 P/ U' V5 XTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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" W7 w- S" Z9 x" j9 S l9 LWalk naked to the bathroom.3 h/ | E9 H' m, ?$ { s- Y7 J7 T
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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4 L, ^# o# T) P+ }. lAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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9 }" r8 e& p Y% d/ ~Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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5 X! U5 @+ y# {Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 0 E$ T. b+ I3 ]7 Y
) s, M3 ?. p1 ` O0 c9 }0 hFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 2 a, O0 f3 b& x+ i/ D( |
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. - j* v4 q9 _& H7 n- a. E
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. / M2 w; K5 m2 X1 \- H$ J1 z. @* X
2 {# C) }# U# w3 ?Partially dry off.0 j* H9 L# x" i) `
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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5 [2 t( w3 z2 V6 A$ r. ^+ @- f% _Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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/ z* _ M4 t1 j' `Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. & U" _- a& T2 R8 m& M+ E
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 9 |- Y% | G7 d# u3 O* z9 |
) {( N3 Y: ]1 j* e v/ S9 KThrow wet towel on bed. ' ^/ y _) K% [% a$ l
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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