 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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! U9 ? f8 f& S/ C+ L; ZTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.. ~& B, e+ S: H5 \, w \: l) t: t$ G
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.$ l2 c( I& W: H5 ]1 E
2 J8 n# V$ D* Z, SLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ) y/ b: @/ P8 c2 ?% V/ t
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. v. v9 E0 n1 ?0 D
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 7 G0 B& j9 R3 T; u! d
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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: B2 b+ i6 t% j$ ?: i6 EWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 1 l* W4 G9 c* ?: h6 |* b
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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0 ^+ U1 N( F, W5 b" [5 r. ]Shave armpits and legs.$ U: g/ p. G! Y8 f# N% F6 |# S
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Turn off shower.
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! x* u* S) l( B0 z; kSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.- U8 m5 w% Z9 F* W
) z% Y0 O5 ]7 k( k* }0 ^Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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5 H ]0 C8 r) Z# [; zHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 5 f" i* M; D" t+ _ x
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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0 [( F) [7 E# M8 h% s2 K+ ^0 oWalk naked to the bathroom.! f7 ~" b- y. l# F3 I: O) I0 C
2 k/ d, h0 s! m+ L! a4 @- eIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. X D& `% Q+ j8 {9 h9 [& S
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. * i* Z, f+ e4 W) w/ T
# p9 J& }4 g$ DAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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- Q. D# l0 ?% v5 _% f. ?; D5 vBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. / F s% }3 |; G, c5 @
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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& e! y. c9 ?, K) h( u" q7 WSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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5 ~9 Z" R; }: j4 n5 v3 cWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # U! K# Q8 h1 o$ ]
& _; n' N5 L+ p3 r) @0 `- AWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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7 U/ v+ t6 u2 h7 u4 n5 ~6 ZRinse off and get out of shower. ) s: ^- K5 r1 L/ I" T
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Partially dry off.# u i2 T# _* y9 ^8 d5 k
9 W( M0 ~0 M- ] U( f# X5 OFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 9 Z$ u$ C& Z7 `9 Y5 y: d8 d
; e+ S% T: L: }2 F) }! R2 kAdmire wiener size in mirror again. b" f5 k6 @9 B' Z3 }
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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( K- e% h3 n* B- Z& T( QReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 7 G" W" ~. f) Y/ X
- `# m6 f1 I E5 q- IThrow wet towel on bed.
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9 k9 c0 ~2 A" C7 H3 V7 `. UIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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