 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : . q! I' J* ^3 k4 X. j& p5 P
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' W$ K2 l! w n9 VTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.: t) a4 A: r% n2 p) _: Y
% j7 S( f% [8 }6 ^4 eWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 9 z3 v- v* L* w& C4 C8 d
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.. f, w% F6 z( Q6 j/ R- z
/ g& Z* W- o4 W* g: u9 YLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 4 P' ~5 W4 Q7 |+ u
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.5 \( o9 e9 V# b" F! j6 z
# T3 g/ U; E' k; lGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * w5 g' v* V) G" N0 K6 u9 ^
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. % E! w& w! }2 C/ K
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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- ?* v+ T2 }# I7 d' `% n# w4 KCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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( K9 Z& ?. s% `1 Y/ {2 a# b; z; Z' CWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. l P1 S4 H7 Q0 Q% d3 e6 ?
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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; y2 o6 A( ~2 x* K8 F* ?Turn off shower.5 C/ i+ S2 W! m3 r& \
, y/ Z. ` \9 |% P6 fSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.! K# E1 ]: z- B' A
% |0 L& J* z4 C% NSpray mold spots with Tilex. 1 O" |, g/ d! D2 e7 J: x
% Y! a7 O6 c6 A! j; bGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. + z" c9 {; H; l" o1 j: z
& T9 j( d5 A4 u3 U* j4 l' I! a( m6 HWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 9 R; _6 M( i; M( W7 f( m! V- B- N
9 I+ X# [; A, n" }7 I# l- FReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * @$ `! M0 O8 Q& ~) R
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 6 D9 y4 \ i5 b1 V3 _
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 7 t/ a2 @$ }" U5 h" ~# m
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 u+ i- d2 R0 z
( y& w+ M* b) K6 yWalk naked to the bathroom.
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; A, M. @9 n" @+ m& F. wIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. " B( a" d$ S# X
6 n" t1 L6 p3 A3 F- BLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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8 A# @; V% |( a3 o5 _Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 3 C( U" P* E' i' c/ B
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + t5 p& s7 D9 Z, w
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 4 q- k! D- p3 a* O
6 p0 m8 Z; v8 X3 uFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ) b0 j2 ~% K# R+ M7 x
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. * g7 S P7 T% [$ v; X
, O& [. n( U" aWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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r9 _8 S( S* I! uWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ! z/ }7 d+ F% F+ x
4 v% N" O; V" m4 J* lPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.3 x( m0 h( n+ E3 Y) J
3 [2 X$ H6 [8 g/ DFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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! J( K" @7 L5 `5 ~0 K* {4 g- q4 xAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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( j/ m& P/ \1 S, iReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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$ F) p8 _' m) P$ y9 W# sThrow wet towel on bed. % y v' {$ Q% |1 V/ i$ x
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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