 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : : ]. ]0 z6 @' Z$ Y3 Y" L: E
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* H: K. V$ s3 Q" tTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.1 X* K+ l n% w
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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# B0 R4 c8 R5 l4 R/ a) {If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
$ V9 V. u' V! \$ rmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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( S0 F* U; q3 KGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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, Q: r' J; D; u! \6 I7 q& o4 NCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..0 ^# T" |& h* m
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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6 | B# w+ M5 S. E gWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ; |' T8 K$ Z1 C# y' r/ s
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Rinse conditioner off hair.) K$ K* o1 _" M5 t& T
/ j' z! p2 i3 u# J: W! U% dShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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1 Q" v5 W2 } USqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.1 @0 F$ `6 F9 } d
% I( H( x8 Q* }+ F, k+ mSpray mold spots with Tilex. % ~) `! f$ m# S0 H0 k) _, v0 {1 H
8 D4 L z7 P! g t- | z! WGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. : D1 W6 ^% G9 B8 ^/ B( s# R0 X1 I9 {& o
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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+ s) |5 M9 i" ]: Y, p$ t: \9 S: Q+ qReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 8 u! r0 K, \1 O! }; C) L, Z
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: + {( M1 o, |9 N
7 h' o6 B3 `/ u- t+ A1 TTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ) |# i* A, J5 s* e3 u2 B
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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3 h; {+ A4 x2 Q" @4 }- X3 ]Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ' N d3 X6 p4 F8 \6 _8 E# A$ {4 ~
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 7 d0 X3 T- x/ {- R$ W
" i5 k2 w4 a* \! m) Q* i4 ?Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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F3 z$ x$ r& [, C JSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ) e% d' ^: _" [* r. _, Y) b6 E' M
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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/ w0 h+ H3 [! p% K6 Q i. jPee. 4 Z- K8 |% |% L4 j/ n, K) @7 z
2 ^! l* k, ?+ K; F6 X4 _1 _Rinse off and get out of shower. - V0 v4 Y4 n; ^- h6 x
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Partially dry off.5 R! M5 s- C1 P7 Z# _
/ w, V4 e2 R( q2 P. J! O3 i) k/ _! RFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. # @# y* ^% f+ t* B* a$ \
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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+ o/ F) Q" ]9 i5 `Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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* x2 b5 S, L- HReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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% r1 E7 I8 c3 d5 iThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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