 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks., J+ c V/ Y% }, e9 F2 r& O
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 3 K7 Z3 g/ S8 F7 e$ x% S6 y
' Z! C6 A+ S9 jIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.: I8 p# s7 @7 V. Q
' \8 I2 p( I1 M, F" U5 [Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # W, G/ S k3 Y; p
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., A" x; V# X# \, l
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ( L& |& g4 r3 j; M3 I
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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6 \. J! I, {1 MWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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, P! j) R8 \' ]/ I+ W! WCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..5 }7 U: x- t/ G6 k0 L: c
( ^$ r& ^$ B% P2 K: w. wWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ( g. K3 v+ e* W
2 ^& b G3 Y/ @0 JWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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9 O# @& p1 m- l* u" dRinse conditioner off hair.3 M) W. J) ?4 N& E1 n6 q- C$ I
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Shave armpits and legs.
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0 e) g" [+ I; w; G9 a" xTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.* A& ]1 T8 v4 S/ b J6 z, V7 }
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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, F1 V/ c/ Q5 y4 K& qWrap hair in super absorbent towel. & X" S% M9 H7 k
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 2 F1 B- H9 k* Y, h2 {+ ~! z3 o
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. % l: ?3 {; A& _+ p5 f% F* S, ]
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) _# Z% m. g# q8 Y8 qHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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4 _7 w" j0 z4 I+ A& {1 N* h5 hTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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3 @' B1 Z9 | i& [1 EWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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9 H: [1 b2 X- W* |Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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1 u& g/ O9 `) X3 d% aAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. # C6 s, K8 [2 X& x2 N$ K: G k
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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. b5 m0 x& s0 D# Y9 m5 ?Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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( d. p9 \% s* s3 `/ VSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. j6 j, \, q; F; @! l4 I
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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% q& z r" h D) W- Z- b/ RWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ! y! s+ v3 n- K" z
: p4 f# G+ J9 x6 ^* M) wPee. & g3 k1 H# T' T/ j6 R+ I1 K
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Rinse off and get out of shower. ( c, ^7 G$ q$ f" I. s1 t
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Partially dry off.6 u- ]; T6 j) Z+ t3 q- u
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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2 E& L U& [ gAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 8 {4 Z& P) H. I
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. , r+ m6 @* v8 Z: J' s
; t; y% T8 J" }% U0 p LReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ' m9 a! v* [7 B7 O
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Throw wet towel on bed. , V7 |0 t$ I5 ?/ N8 G! D6 p; c
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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