 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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, M2 V4 [8 @# p _2 RWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. * V1 E- [: a* E x+ V' S
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas./ x. F: @; o3 W: ~
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- * H2 S T5 B' a
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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) z* D5 J3 Q Q$ L, w" FWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.8 r" d- V( u* ~6 L8 }4 y
0 x. l! k: A9 K/ A h' PCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. " [$ W& s- a L/ i7 @& y3 S
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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0 H, z, [( O& ]6 zRinse conditioner off hair.9 C Q& K& A! `" ?& ?: B* {
6 x+ M. `/ A1 gShave armpits and legs. p, ?" `" i% C: _$ y; h
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Turn off shower." w7 `) |, X) |0 F( f$ P2 \
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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7 N& g# m2 x2 I3 ]6 w# m9 tSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. # |' f V' ^6 p2 J4 g$ x A( @
" R2 h9 q: G2 @+ JWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 6 `9 h3 G4 w- @
- Y, E( C2 a- P9 B W# E5 Q0 ?) BReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. h. Y+ W8 e7 w) H/ S- B% P
6 c7 w4 h, b0 ` u$ R* {: _If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 4 X$ @( _) j2 o% m
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ' [$ {! _# O9 E; k
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. - G2 c! }: p: p# V, y- d5 n7 ~
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. , X: j+ H1 A9 `3 N' M4 r7 J
# }8 H3 E& ~% aLook at your manly physique in the mirror. - X* X, h* O4 R$ z- D% P. h; r
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 0 F: E5 e* ]7 b7 s3 M2 ]* z5 i
% Z& _ w7 n0 `. u" d7 XBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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8 p+ S) G/ P/ JFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. / |0 k0 F: k% M$ h! M, f8 ]
; B8 }7 f8 N# G6 B( _Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. : Q' r0 T; ?) ^: P
) y3 G! H6 l" i+ |0 L5 s* lWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ! a* m, [3 t6 Y" h
: Y! @' d9 ?" O. xPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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+ r5 i1 B1 r. Q/ t1 QPartially dry off.7 ^% a6 w1 l. @* `' B1 p" d
" Q. i) s7 {4 ^5 MFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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4 o4 \; n) [' A+ bAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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: U5 \- V' f1 y! s( ~Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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# X2 |+ s, O& Z9 |5 qReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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, v, g0 w9 w8 ]# {' l6 V. J( MThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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