 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : " H- h0 ~: i8 _. S
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- F; b; \+ W- d7 T$ y, M- X6 r
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + ~: W4 ^% I+ d" w4 r) W; j4 J& ~
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
, }# U$ j. w5 [+ D% }make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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, Y/ ]" O: M2 N+ z) E+ ]( P7 F( uGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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1 T+ B1 u- a5 r! Y2 T! iWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ( _+ L( I: s7 p2 e7 t3 A+ t
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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' y: |: H2 `7 P$ l4 W) R; z1 ~Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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! P% M! n: @, f- S: L x# XWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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# B4 X% o4 F( G x, K0 L/ W7 C3 Q+ [Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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% z& }$ Z6 D8 s9 _* B1 tRinse conditioner off hair.( G# C0 t* S. ~( R0 H
; x6 M/ C* n; K+ _/ Z" i1 |& J$ b& hShave armpits and legs.
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, }( i% m, j( ZTurn off shower.
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+ L% C4 ]# f5 a. b, `Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 2 V! }- F) ]" ?1 }2 @& ~- D5 q. v
6 N' K5 D+ i( ^, j/ ?2 y! zGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 9 v0 P0 Y/ W! u! W5 q
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. % f& ]$ i4 [* ^+ y# s: X) h
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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+ [/ a& H) w6 q( o2 I- Y/ ~If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: + r' |/ S! t, L9 t
# x9 o. Y3 W+ O+ n1 rTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.4 \; R# Y n( K) t$ L# p+ y4 M
1 W: S( ^: l1 r: X! PIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. + t$ T. ], c- u9 `* t
4 H2 M* c6 V: BLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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0 m- L5 f, v8 M$ }$ cAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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+ I7 Y6 G5 e. z- o* h' X9 a6 ZGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. . V- O5 d; q7 w6 v! S6 ?
& A" J, ]+ [, j( Q4 e3 UBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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5 M' Q. S. g% e1 H4 HFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 2 C/ w; B( {" W
( t' K4 u% j c: l) V+ AWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 1 x" M: }& O, w' R3 {
& O6 G, F$ N; R; `Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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2 A& R+ L1 ^) pRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off. t2 ^' h5 o- h0 d
# s. t5 b5 u' RFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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, o0 g: b+ Y; H( gLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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" B1 b1 t! B: z) \9 q) JThrow wet towel on bed. / a! X) P, w# I, \
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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