 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.+ O& @" E V- S/ U" L& L0 ~
* a6 k- ?6 _5 EWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 1 r" R# e. t7 @9 \
! u' z7 E# H O. }; Z4 rIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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9 w; W; K! B$ o! Y$ _Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
! K$ t' G6 C9 _! U5 Lmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ( V( ~: _& S5 R, z2 |0 j* q! H
a9 o# A' v. f. \$ C/ N3 B; u/ RWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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4 \( A9 c5 e" O4 }0 i# T! iWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..2 O$ F8 ~' _; a" U
5 o( O( u' z- b5 K3 lWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ' d2 `( d4 d/ \* \8 w+ Y0 u! g
" N+ d3 j" r' v" ~% sWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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, X$ ~$ Z9 U) H6 r DRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.) X' s& h' w' Q0 y8 K
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Turn off shower." e5 X; h2 P: M- J( R
0 u2 q" G! j- j9 ^ P. kSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.4 E a1 G- ^) b' t% a$ n3 A
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 7 w: m! R3 K- j3 g3 p `$ e
1 e3 n8 [6 t" F/ pGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 1 }2 y7 i7 `# w4 X8 }' s
, t) B( n! Z* r9 ?Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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# ]3 P8 N8 ~) c# R' MIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. " s( H; J6 I; m8 ]
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 1 F/ P* r7 y+ R; g
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.; L8 w" G( l0 z) \, ?, S/ L7 ?1 ]0 }" D
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. " y; Y) y, `# V* h
, o7 x1 m! @/ H& nAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 5 s. S/ t! @+ N
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 3 G7 W Y8 f( c/ o8 |4 V* i
1 P- V% L1 F6 S( r8 `3 o* ISpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. . H# Y6 F8 Z4 Y* `0 N! }' k
2 G+ K3 l8 J# t GWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. + X- Q: Y7 m4 s) k3 [6 ?
& R% \4 d+ j. hPee.
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) }8 f0 E; M' u% HRinse off and get out of shower.
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- V' w$ Y0 {7 _! j6 w2 @% u; l8 pPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 8 U B! l# d2 \, h# z% U* B
+ I- T) ]! t A! F" G: X* ULeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 1 r0 U% Q) X7 d5 b* U9 ^: X! L8 [) j
. i/ q( {, v) o1 K% d9 s1 }! i) W. rReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. * P/ J/ t2 w+ B; e ^
7 S+ {: N, {- iThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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