 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ) N/ e. [; `, x: J
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- a4 L# F2 U9 n' h/ Y/ C* @Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- E" V" i. M- w0 d/ |4 C: \
6 A9 C1 I( ]: e% t3 v3 mWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. * K8 o# I& M- H. X. ~7 K$ z
8 ]1 \2 O5 a- D p$ lIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.7 z( ?- n _( W+ K+ t
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
# S& E+ l6 a' q% `+ a3 x. Omake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.! o/ q/ H) p3 F7 j; J$ n- \/ n8 C
- }& s% M. U$ \/ O0 ]- bGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. / U/ Z" M9 A S5 d
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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& d( ~* Y" k L5 |) k5 ?! wCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..9 i. y L$ z. X N# [9 R3 D
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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. t$ {& K. Z: t% ]& x8 _Shave armpits and legs.0 o1 V0 A: Q. y8 q* f$ S9 [9 H
5 C9 M' J0 ^$ ITurn off shower.2 N$ H4 X- I5 H. k& c
$ J E8 ~7 Q) Z; l z! x/ ySqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower. ~1 s+ w4 y, w3 B0 V
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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+ b: V% y- K2 W m0 ], fGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. / o8 G. M8 R0 i
u7 I4 @3 f. q, j# qWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ' C2 X% U m3 D* ]+ H
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * R9 Y( S) g! o( }, m0 X$ q% s* x
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 6 v$ x3 C$ B4 C. U
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 3 p7 p* A3 a4 z8 V7 l" O+ ^8 I
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 6 v5 K6 z, u: m( g
& Z0 U# Q6 u# Z9 n! X) e6 QWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ; M+ M. ]2 ]* C3 q: ^! ~
& Y7 {- W* ^0 i6 S/ Z% m: I5 ~Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 4 n w7 d7 k0 q& S" G4 ^
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. + T! |" ^# w/ U3 O: ~1 ~* }) X
2 Y$ ?, {# z9 k! |4 ?( ^: |Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ; t* ?8 s/ f- j2 {8 U: I) X
I6 h7 n) N( q! B$ z3 XSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 2 x6 ?1 i* v) R& ^4 g' G* q
1 a3 u+ x9 q# P$ dWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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9 M, A; }; c% {; J! |Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. % ?! D0 f! A; b- Z" O
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Pee. % Y5 ~+ M$ y/ U- [+ k
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 8 Y. g3 z7 Z- F2 d% x( g$ a) y0 U. X9 V1 @
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. & J$ W4 Q4 U, X+ |6 q
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. # a; N) D3 @6 k! F
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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5 u' t# J9 `. ZReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 4 T! a* u, ~7 h `
& p3 u# D Q3 gThrow wet towel on bed. / Y( \. I4 A; Q
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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