 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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4 n0 p( B3 ]; k5 DWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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! ~2 v! B. a4 m% X$ uIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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3 E2 A; B2 v# L' s: k! o" [ ~& I5 JLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- e& b) ], e. S# |0 ` o( ?0 y
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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6 s5 d3 n/ m) t+ C1 S9 {: MWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ) k# R, [1 j( e' Q( }
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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/ r; G- J$ P% S: A: `2 rCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..: T: c4 U7 V- X0 w" t! Z
# \3 Z# b# ] e5 ?; @/ tWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 5 V9 Q- E5 V5 O7 L: O
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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4 r5 F5 [" Y' _7 \9 |0 l/ yRinse conditioner off hair.
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7 Y j* c& ]9 l# y$ gShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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6 l; v* w* U/ @. f8 y" Y1 c4 @4 jSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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5 c& n# e7 _* |Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 4 i! y+ _3 d8 m7 H
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 8 D4 ^ l3 {( v+ x( @
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4 ?; G. a) l4 }& FHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: * d. r- b5 s( V$ @5 V0 t
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. - @ }! j4 |! h* ~0 ^
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Walk naked to the bathroom.9 F3 n! X# O8 B/ T4 d. M) D3 m& F, o
5 ~1 P# U5 C% B. gIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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3 U5 ?2 u3 c! Z$ PLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ; Y9 k: t4 d5 x; B' r! S
2 o. T$ ]$ U' d0 l3 l8 T( h6 ?5 tGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 9 ]- Y" @2 W; Z7 G
" x; c% b+ {+ g. ]4 JBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 5 `# @1 l$ W" N2 g7 ^, A e
! U/ u8 }8 h/ }2 n2 ]2 j+ ~Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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/ M8 D; @! ]. V; \- h0 ?Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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' g1 T7 I5 t- r% O% F7 d6 _. oWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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5 d( [- V! j; r4 e! ZPartially dry off.
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Y' ]( H7 H5 c; u; b' R- J' l7 aFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. * L4 m1 v6 y6 T* u8 d7 ]
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. " x' c0 X* |8 l t# \! }6 }
; W# B4 M1 `6 h4 N& O/ E" ULeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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# _% G0 O* B j) e* X* L& Q# aReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 4 N+ V& i1 ^5 v# o
- {( z, ~) `+ K, p& S: bThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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