 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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5 @7 {. T/ t# R9 Z4 |' m+ NTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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- n5 ?2 Y# t0 [: k' cWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ) W& r0 w7 J( w. E/ `( ^
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas., i0 Q6 @ u# U }/ E' `8 w- A) f
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
/ f5 G3 I7 e- O! [' V* gmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.2 y4 a4 N$ b3 g
+ `2 b- t% [# i1 F' {2 RGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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0 R9 N% I+ N8 a9 pWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..' N% A5 `" e0 L6 `, w8 m" B1 [
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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# H0 P Y/ L' L. n" [. aWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ' Y3 u2 U9 u v# n2 N4 ]
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Rinse conditioner off hair.: K! ?, u* H5 M, j- {
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Shave armpits and legs.
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5 J( b' ]; S3 W# J% K2 x& k# ^Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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9 P! P. K5 G# y3 a# pSpray mold spots with Tilex. ( d4 }3 B( w5 S( h$ K: J% H6 ]
% ` g$ t# s. e" d7 c% r3 yGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 9 E" n( S5 D8 Q) \5 g
0 y8 m- w' H* I3 \Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. # ^/ c# d, i; ~
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ( y9 |& B) ^% P% S1 H
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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8 }7 z' n1 |$ d! LIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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7 i/ d3 v1 b, TLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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! v$ v3 O0 }+ `; s7 P# @/ ]Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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' t4 S# K% ?( p f: H5 PGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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$ @. e; g6 S4 QSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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) y& w! O! f- qWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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) o$ j7 @4 ~' X6 A9 OPartially dry off.
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* @8 S2 v# x4 {7 N/ J# H( p% R5 sFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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1 l8 L9 _& q4 L; o0 FLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. # h# s9 I! C4 x) }, i1 F* c3 c
. W# H+ d2 I3 ?7 ^Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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% c" R+ N; o1 s; mThrow wet towel on bed. 6 m" s+ G8 T1 i) Q
% i3 G9 C: p# L( S3 [% u6 M# I% C# ?If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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