 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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4 b$ S: Y6 M* N3 jTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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6 z0 a) q/ D) SIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
5 F9 H' K6 r7 Y4 z3 ymake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.$ d8 ?# E$ y8 C M
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 0 ]( l: T2 Q9 X/ d
# s) T4 x0 K+ \* ]Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. l0 o. n& G6 |/ L4 f9 Z
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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/ u; h5 j$ A0 q' \) [Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. & S" x! u9 d0 B) Z/ S
; N0 Z2 v7 A& g5 _* K g; LWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. $ S4 y, O6 z4 t! w. u( d
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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4 z9 w8 i' X. \+ bShave armpits and legs.% g3 {' v% T% j' e$ H n8 c
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. y9 S# @+ F8 f. A' O3 h
e) S( n7 q) XSpray mold spots with Tilex. / ?' Z. J: K, X) l. O% o- B
, w$ Z0 s3 k6 V7 O6 v" u" S5 n# NGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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: U" ?3 m d3 [( ^: `9 `0 c" oWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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" I4 g/ V/ U$ c. H8 uReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: E/ \6 G% q. A2 V8 G3 I, v0 G/ L
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. - O7 d5 X* {# W( @" {* |( ~4 w7 I
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. $ C- q, g5 z# P$ y7 c0 a. o
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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% S' ~0 u" [ K! Q q2 Z- QAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 7 A; w) a- c6 h) d( f$ K
5 C. N; j: Q8 I) D) y: a9 B6 W4 fGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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, ?6 c% c# m, e$ Y% @; BBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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2 m- k4 n, T! p6 fFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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# T. x, D9 f5 U( Z. Y8 GSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 {$ b+ X5 e* d* ^" L* X
4 V! g6 {) F0 U \Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. * j6 ~0 E) e9 g$ r `6 H4 S) |
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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4 k o7 { V4 A; l$ t( k" r+ `Pee.
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/ ]+ R2 _8 b' C, @; |- X: z5 rRinse off and get out of shower. 8 N" T8 | `2 c) w9 J
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Partially dry off.) F, }, k2 S5 m, s
$ j F6 Z" a$ {3 {3 N9 g0 RFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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3 q9 {+ }, z" }9 S9 FLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 1 j; K k! N) E5 b+ k) }; X4 L8 X
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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