 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
% }) d2 _) p, S( k- i, v. E( l) n9 x
. _, j) y$ s; A; _( V# @- x$ A
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
& t5 X0 L/ e; M$ Y1 m4 ]* e( P+ e W: u; k$ T4 s9 q/ N+ b
4 L, \# o4 i# c; X7 n
' B& k! c9 U$ `0 \+ _Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
5 U }5 p. `$ _! m; [" ]5 E
5 [* T2 T( C& b) j* l K* q+ jWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
0 Y; w. L) Z3 p" g7 S, @$ E: |4 Q1 c) i1 N5 d! n2 e* l8 }
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.( M! l L6 R0 b- ]8 R2 n
+ h# C6 d2 J, B1 }
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
- n5 a8 x6 b& xmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.9 ?) h( g7 T) k, _+ v- q2 ~
2 i7 @% l q" V- h
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
, q T3 @2 @4 D+ h+ |
2 |0 Y- _) A9 ^+ _, }4 TWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. : W9 {/ s7 P C# V; q, L
" c, H$ j2 p# p. {Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
* k& \; _- z- z0 Z8 e$ V' h+ ~+ ?5 B' I& Y# t4 _* Q5 @4 X7 O/ k
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
. v+ L: Y+ s8 E% K2 y* R: }' I) i& u3 z* ~6 V- {: w' A
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
7 o( k. l. f, P5 x7 N/ q9 `; }. C
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 9 ~/ r4 C& J8 D" F" p$ ~
# g4 e: G7 ]: a
Rinse conditioner off hair.5 B! f% {0 ^! w9 Q) d3 ?
* u1 T1 k4 G- V* hShave armpits and legs.% D8 D: [# h" C6 b' T7 S* i
m' C, W. D4 }/ N# {: N) o
Turn off shower.
% n5 [3 g: {) ]7 ~5 X8 x7 \$ X( u1 |) n( J
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.3 V( @. o7 r' i' D
- O. Q s0 q! j3 `' JSpray mold spots with Tilex. 5 c: S# O* f* |, {
/ I; e3 X/ P' H% j' E
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
# }' q z/ q4 h9 o( a* a# f0 R$ Q+ R9 i8 P
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
9 b% M5 e- K+ A' ^/ `: _1 p1 ]6 d* A1 L# ^' [( T/ m
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 5 O$ k( u8 j+ o
; }. _! A& Y* E1 a) i' u8 t
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
; t/ V- k# [. t3 b. x) z, k- J& T% L( N2 v( `
* R/ r+ ?, o/ `4 d' uHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: . q% j; g* C0 y& I
* m9 [. g" |) O9 x6 R0 ]" Z1 cTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 7 N; R6 k. c4 s+ x( O( y% C) p
( X. L9 I* \- U" t" F9 qWalk naked to the bathroom.
% I. V& _- y: [. p- R; U) [! N% S6 r# o2 |" b
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
" L9 G: n* ~/ D. Z X+ U+ t
: V: Y' |8 X3 Y; i9 a& L* o" rLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 8 S% D: X( Y) O- S: l( s
0 ]4 r. g7 M4 N! s- @
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. $ q( O* l+ [6 N5 E. Y( z: m, P$ y7 X1 G
( U0 Y# l1 G$ u* [/ s5 ~Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. % p) }6 k) {& \; l& ]
9 `1 s. ?6 N& O, z; M
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
/ V: y+ w* X6 {* L! k8 w: c# e
@! Z* B1 q' x6 c2 `4 @- _Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
" d( Y3 @& b _2 Q" v$ t
8 V5 U' g+ M$ {6 ZSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 v. d7 w. M4 r- z; E- \9 L; J
+ l7 G7 W6 n+ i3 \" ?0 [* A
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
* E$ v7 H: Q0 `/ { L! Q
7 b4 ?& [+ l+ \4 t# @Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
' g/ V) z6 [! N% [% c8 u- r6 ^: d. M$ c z$ y
Pee.
) B0 _, k7 J* y: k3 f) n: [: @& G9 x
; Q3 _; G! |7 k u& O: kRinse off and get out of shower.
) I* Q5 i3 u$ a4 ?7 N: D! g7 b
/ W! P. d: w( a2 _. T' N( i9 yPartially dry off.; S4 x0 u/ {' K! I' N1 w
/ J9 }3 N8 S% m! }1 xFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
$ z M. {; l7 n& i, f+ k
' f! c& p& b# Z2 u$ v: HAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
/ g) P7 @6 \* b- z7 I! a: C; O
: p% A* b8 x. O* W |2 ~5 k+ u8 X& r/ M LLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 8 D8 M2 I# b( c& ?& A; {3 l
7 L. m* d, V. s; {! j* C/ k5 g% tReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
/ w7 R# M& s, w, t; h/ v8 l; d" ?+ M
: N, |: L7 M3 [4 r0 r0 q* J, HThrow wet towel on bed.
) o8 |8 W5 }7 K0 c: G
4 P1 n' Z) D- _ V: r$ a( UIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|