 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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$ p0 e' L& L7 sTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.8 w+ v: u3 W4 ~5 C' a
2 F* Z. x# z+ b! [+ @Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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2 @- Y- N; z4 `( a: j- z( ]If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.- Y/ P. X; V. H4 C
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
: W7 r( r% d, h0 N9 S6 L/ Omake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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2 l1 G( C& j5 Q3 M7 S$ bGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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6 Q, k( W9 g: i& Y* K8 PWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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' t) ], N7 ~. C5 z. MWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.& C( L4 X$ N9 Q8 H w$ z. h
" j* A, N: H0 |; i" sCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..' ~. K6 j- c' Z
& x& Z8 T* P6 oWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ( ~/ j% O e1 ]% s: R4 S- n
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 Y7 p0 Z7 M$ F% i$ H9 \
+ ~3 H. A( r! RRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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, Z0 G$ P4 w8 Q) b( QSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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" s* h' m4 a2 z$ XSpray mold spots with Tilex. . ^2 v/ Q2 @9 x; Q' c
m. ?% I# @; xGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ! @' D" f5 I$ L$ b* i; K' y) q) l
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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7 F! L% b; v4 Y) J) `& ^Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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* K$ c3 h( c6 D/ M7 I7 B G' A6 }- hIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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5 Z2 a0 H/ v% Z% dWalk naked to the bathroom.! D1 Q- e$ C/ m' B# G, m6 j
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. , T" S0 f! b8 S5 b6 r% ~% [6 |5 X. W
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ' i N3 ^' y- P! |$ |
# c; E9 q2 Z1 D) p3 LAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. - a, C* h5 ~5 p' ]- U5 X$ ^
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ; Q6 C4 H7 ~* K$ b( i8 p
0 r7 T4 \. V" k; m6 \2 d1 e8 KBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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0 l! t" V. b) J0 _5 JFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. , `7 W& C y: |7 I& C
8 s5 K4 r. l8 N$ ?) lSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ! ]3 d# v; E' i4 W. A' a
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 7 P! ?& D, H; o) E4 J* l7 b
% }2 H, U+ [( k' U! U2 Q* d$ r" W2 { mWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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6 j9 ~5 ~7 K. W9 L/ W7 Z+ aPee. 3 s6 r! A$ L$ \8 E# I
4 X' E1 n8 Y/ Z0 V! ?% \Rinse off and get out of shower. 5 @: n! b/ k! r( b+ \ z# I
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Partially dry off. T1 a' Q$ K' J7 S! Z
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. m: `8 ^: E3 }1 } k, t; [; W
+ U4 k, E0 L6 t' \Admire wiener size in mirror again. " g' G$ o8 s' Z# A/ a4 b/ {
A! c# k+ }8 o% F, l: wLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ) H% B e* g* R6 |7 w8 l
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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