 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : * b# E2 I7 L2 o3 M% @
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5 c6 U7 b) V# ZTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.; x: U$ p. R/ N6 _7 b: U
' ~6 X2 T/ O9 ?$ K; H1 pWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 8 I: `* ]2 _9 P! o$ g1 L
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.3 V; T# _ C, s4 H) T' B9 X- }
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 2 M% l! F8 L1 \) n* J, |3 ?
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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% T# X# y5 Q7 d! Q/ n5 b& P+ RGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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0 Q8 _) g" m0 VWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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3 Y& R3 |( t. s# Q% @Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.$ f+ a+ M& ~/ P6 n* W6 p
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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/ f; e1 I ?* v7 sWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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, a' W8 ?. y: }+ B- g) ORinse conditioner off hair.* X5 b% q; V0 z6 n
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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9 t) D1 t5 e1 ?1 [$ }Spray mold spots with Tilex. ; E4 ]# c1 h, z2 }
' _: T+ d& d2 Z, u ^: h% S+ y3 s' |$ iGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. & J4 ]# a; q/ V
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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! `4 _, |. c$ |; WReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. * i4 ^1 ~0 q: x# Z# P
2 m1 a8 E! Z7 K7 a8 T) |Walk naked to the bathroom. i" t0 n$ S, A" t' ?( k
m! i3 y( i) a( VIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. + A# w( G, J+ s
- b" \( v7 B& I8 Y5 c, YLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. * } r5 r& P5 y' N& M/ ]( f: N
, _7 N- _; N" C5 }6 e% MSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 2 ` {/ `% E* w# b2 E: e
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. n1 L z# y% \1 b L
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Pee. {8 [9 ?: f% `! D' e
6 y, B& s, a( e. O, LRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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& T: q9 k* g; z* tAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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0 V$ Z1 Y" ]+ F: g7 t7 e, PReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. + L0 m4 B) v3 R3 v& V6 m: V: W
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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8 J, q2 n% C: g9 }4 Q$ j1 D. L, y3 YIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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