 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 6 J9 v, P& z( G5 o$ O7 [3 F
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.1 S& [2 }# U+ p8 Z' v
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.* G! j$ @* W) {
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
( c' E% B9 {" n4 N- [make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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$ _2 S( Z! @3 O' ~& i# B) U1 hGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 4 X" A# _9 ?9 }$ u9 P" w }; A
' J$ n- r7 {! b7 x8 Q' DWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.2 E& K+ {9 A) a3 L0 l a
; P& E( Y% ]5 F( I+ R- i$ a1 q% kCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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9 U6 ~) O6 ]1 o3 s& ~% j9 S% AWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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$ Q/ e: {' {/ l _6 ARinse conditioner off hair.8 w1 G7 J; m5 B! Z! ~. s
c( O3 v) W! p8 z! XShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.# J6 O3 D9 M7 \8 e8 V" J
7 f- O6 Z! z) ?( y- L1 C9 I' G6 rSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.+ G0 ~7 f1 J4 [/ T
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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p* H9 ~4 ?: i* K" V( KWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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! r7 _3 k" @3 Y) O% C5 IReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ' a F4 ~$ N/ S% a2 a- e0 I6 G1 O
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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5 f5 }3 D- c5 L. p1 O" [Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ; R: Z1 [3 Y* c1 S c
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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% v6 f7 g' f* rIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 0 m) n+ x. H/ V0 b
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. / Q: Y. J1 w7 Y* ? Q u8 P: z
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. g$ q1 n* i. e8 e
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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5 Z6 V7 Z" h& U- [2 N6 t4 xFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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y1 T1 k& N- z! e! v1 `; CSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. , N4 u% {1 o1 m
0 { h2 u: p6 l0 XWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 2 f" R# e0 w, U. ` j
0 ]( `! \# x8 Z# l& J; \" qWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ; {$ g$ O- _ q9 U& p( n
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Pee. ; N* V6 d% Y G3 C" U: }4 G
( H6 z4 Y* g2 C# @9 VRinse off and get out of shower.
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; w- G$ o$ W# ?$ o9 k/ I: ~Partially dry off.
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5 Q% j+ e o, v- n% RFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 0 i" K4 D [2 u& G# p
* J3 @3 S9 U# G( b( cReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. O. O5 L7 Q/ n9 Q- `) z0 ~
0 V5 M8 M0 }) aIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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