 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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' U6 f9 Z2 n- e5 MTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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4 h& I7 w: C+ Z$ x; FIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 2 E& j8 w3 L6 n$ t4 _
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.7 c2 B1 D9 i5 @9 e
3 ]+ S5 f$ U* a! r7 j4 u# T2 IGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 9 h2 R3 Z7 }* M% b- ]
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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3 h: Y4 D$ J8 zWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.3 ~8 u7 H( l$ W; C; w. \
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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! p! D! J: ~. A$ q8 s5 A2 s) aWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. / O- o6 U' n2 e: b8 ]
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 8 ~, }' _/ x1 d4 i
/ h/ `- F) J+ Y3 `6 ]- C/ IRinse conditioner off hair.
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8 U6 K" ^ Q: Y& X; QShave armpits and legs.3 y& z3 g9 z& }( S# |. r4 L
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.# b! x! A* I: ?; C1 p& j# s( K
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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0 N7 U1 R5 }! _* ?6 W7 HGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 1 K7 f8 e8 I$ @
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ( K& C L. o6 ~& d y9 n: R
/ F( v% ^7 k9 C0 KIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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( z0 K6 t( O( @4 mHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: $ H/ n- p. W! N8 a5 |, g
' G* I8 @4 G% h: t! f! g& BTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. # y2 P7 a- g$ z* A2 o- [
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ( i1 j0 c3 A& R7 H4 Z
; l! T0 @6 R, \& \, s4 [, j+ _Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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! I7 y9 Q% S& l6 Z6 v! P7 q6 rAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 6 X" D1 c$ d; h0 [& ]' g9 X1 l
% A8 t& H; ~* j0 g4 K4 [5 tGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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; @6 H3 j8 J% e2 C' f% V6 kBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 6 p! H0 w5 D' h
$ K* R, r0 ^2 k# bFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 0 v G( U; Q7 d# ]* @
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ' |& S9 x4 g0 Y. r0 J- C
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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" c. O1 l# L9 M/ J* t7 [Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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, K# }( {, R' k1 GRinse off and get out of shower. ' X2 g$ E8 c* S+ d* s* a
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Partially dry off.
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5 {7 V! s, F8 c: [Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. % P9 V2 z, ^, v
, E+ |6 g( U' s0 Q# c( g, ZAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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2 l& x% _, E7 t) J2 d% ~Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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2 e, T( e0 D0 ]1 y7 x- c3 W! iThrow wet towel on bed. ! z9 b, M A H; }- j" [1 V
' I7 i5 J: J6 ?' y0 ]/ D( |5 tIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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