 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ! V K9 e: V, W" P! s" h
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B! L$ O7 A1 N) N0 k9 OTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 2 Z( z6 |2 _; R5 N9 _
: L) q0 Q/ q; L6 {3 [! T0 iIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
4 c c4 Y$ ~) O# ], rmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.2 ?" @, l; E$ q6 _" X
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 9 m8 U- i0 ], l" H' i% M* m) u
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6 ]7 _& G! `8 g3 U2 N5 k3 Z
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.4 ~. a$ W0 Q6 j" d5 G
9 r. t' y( f6 \1 wCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..- Y! g6 `" q5 c6 X0 ? I5 X
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. " M" K- y8 ?: {- g2 S) U, X
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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! `( D0 b! W n* Q0 MShave armpits and legs.4 k Q1 w! o' e" C3 Z
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Turn off shower.4 s' [6 _8 f5 u* b3 a$ a; N. l
) R% z' u! r) Z1 S5 `3 Q# q: M% cSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 6 K! {" j I1 @
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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& n1 B. }2 p. I7 S1 [. u2 ^" mReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 7 H; v2 T0 n( n' D* j
( e4 Y$ \8 T( S* W; G, ?% SIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. # A I- i$ j" T6 N( ^
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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# g5 N/ G0 H( T" Y2 yTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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- \- j" |4 K& `Walk naked to the bathroom.
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" t$ i( V( M! D% j! wIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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! a$ a% \; i1 C, qAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. $ v$ q/ T: Q- C% G/ Q" z7 d1 m
3 ? m9 d+ ]( O" ^- M& zBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. . B9 j+ l# y( v4 p3 V; c1 B0 ^
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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0 I6 U7 G D7 B) u. w& y& dSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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( x$ X) O0 ^3 A# I2 f BWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ( c! k0 X/ [( i0 {
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) U) Q4 o G9 C" ^$ | d2 @Rinse off and get out of shower. + }5 Z: `. C2 p" D d. d9 \* X% v* @
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Partially dry off.) K1 B6 T8 X: i3 \2 M( W
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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# m1 r; D3 l# }2 w( C6 FAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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. D5 K6 O% M# w6 CLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ! ^$ L4 [1 e2 p
. U5 ?2 ~/ W0 T) m- t& Y, FReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. : H! @+ u4 z2 g [
! b7 k' e! N9 _Throw wet towel on bed.
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9 }* a8 y+ e3 R" X; \If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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