 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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+ a8 J* w+ o+ j# E% GTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- b* S4 H5 U$ z) P. _ |& M& l- q8 Y. ^; h
: Q' m! P( d$ i& ]8 N8 ?+ \* I( M3 }Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 6 E% q+ o* k' i7 w
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.) @/ `2 G' l7 n* g; t ]3 h
/ B% I5 L) y; eLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- + H* r; Q& {* N0 f L' }1 n
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.5 @* ]; j: D" `6 f
: J; O9 I& c h3 bGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. - k6 u k' u6 \6 j0 j8 I0 y& V
8 o5 [) E/ B) |" ^% RWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..! ^: P1 R# l+ W4 H
, `% r9 O. B) G, R" xWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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6 O' r/ j, R0 q7 CWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. z# m' r$ x! K. V' c
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower./ t, l' I- C8 m3 U
9 @! N, v5 E8 F: A- H6 D- e RSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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9 ^+ r/ c! o$ v, `$ h3 ISpray mold spots with Tilex. % k3 Y4 I) }$ ~3 B. M- e
: S* i! m( L6 l" F) WGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. , P4 T8 C2 T) v# o/ r, b& p/ ]
! V0 @: U" f& p6 [! K9 DWrap hair in super absorbent towel. Q! G4 s$ v( |% F! ^; \6 w* m
' a- Z3 ]( u, @: [2 lReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. * Z; T5 o* D8 K5 J$ q8 ~
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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: I* J2 y8 E4 M$ Q. F: y) JTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.! O2 S& W1 K+ `8 y' o
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ! ?; u7 D+ Z0 {" v
6 |" o- M& M7 uAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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9 q G% t6 s4 p0 A& S7 UGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 1 F- {7 s$ w- J$ q$ T" D, U8 }* f2 B9 e
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. t# W" _7 A7 _
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. + R9 s. D2 }5 ^" F8 R9 n
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 6 R& y$ _, x3 H* i1 x
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. * a o: I# B# B6 j! C
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Rinse off and get out of shower. J# p! u6 Q; ^ ^( _4 W
# B8 p3 F- M1 F- Z9 Z( SPartially dry off.* ^- I U/ s, ?6 ]1 \( n
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. & h; o( E; ]$ H0 N4 f
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 1 h9 @1 m3 i8 ]6 G, P0 H+ O/ j
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 1 D/ k0 q' n( @4 j. \
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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/ x; F) r0 |, j0 ~0 k( UThrow wet towel on bed. 2 ^) |) [& Y9 o" ^5 H2 |4 f
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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