 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
* h% I% \0 P4 f7 }
2 C# u6 l9 y& n% ]; l# N: z, I% m, f/ h
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
$ H- r; o1 a6 y `2 }, V% r% i( B2 ^0 I8 V! j8 F! x
\% o4 K. C4 t 4 k0 ~, ^- `: H+ g% @/ ?! P
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- N, }- l( P$ Z+ |$ s" U
/ Z' y& M- M# Y2 E
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
9 {( e2 |1 L3 l( t. P1 k4 A+ w( T8 V
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
2 X. A1 q8 ~( x- @$ H
`$ O. z; Y1 r: M) kLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ; m( y3 W0 r* n! U8 j& t
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.& P2 k2 Y- a6 v4 h6 ]/ I
3 [( L5 h$ B( D3 u7 g+ t- DGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
: P" l) z( l" z7 t7 R
7 M1 C! h. k( C" [0 zWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
9 R% j$ ~3 Y8 K/ X) ~* F' k1 O" D" t' ^- r4 f
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
5 V) P' ?/ y; S
+ I4 k& ^' H: G% U/ B. dCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; \) U e" |# H4 N: t2 d
# n0 }3 |% S8 {3 ~
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9 |* {5 m5 y) F
/ k2 H( M2 v6 O$ h8 [Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
6 j' x2 ?; @1 u6 S- Q1 L% }
; w. S: ~1 O a! y: H ZRinse conditioner off hair./ J0 X' Y* S0 o+ M
1 `$ c+ u* b6 P! TShave armpits and legs.
2 h s0 u8 w5 Q; j$ X
& |) @" O9 ~% z0 Z3 B. WTurn off shower.
* b* `. w, i9 d0 t: L' a4 w9 j9 o! C' Y: C. ]+ }+ L+ X5 L( A( T# B
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
. o) ^; [. r. q; j |5 |2 V+ X
4 w+ v- v$ {. ^: r B/ HSpray mold spots with Tilex. 6 S4 Q- t/ }9 I
# v7 w( g% S, m! o( q6 R' T8 tGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. " W, Y6 [$ t1 B% N. ]1 c
7 k3 o0 O7 k& v% a5 P( ?4 RWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
: u' r, n @2 D5 d. `" u* M1 W. \) W4 i
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * d$ S; l i% [" v, D1 e
0 S- t3 g( `: J0 J2 v% j! r! J. ~
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 5 @2 h' d, f8 r, \; `9 B5 t1 ?
- l! F! H2 S, M, J+ y' z1 p/ |
6 z" a P$ s, p% W
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
7 M1 @0 N7 u' Q9 y
3 a, {, E, Y, d5 N5 Z* K; j2 G- [Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ' f! }( B) i- E# W( X B4 u
/ c# W1 @* D7 c9 J1 I
Walk naked to the bathroom.
$ Q2 R$ a' U& p |. l% |, Z" `- L/ H. n9 c1 I
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 0 j# H' S; j" U( T- i
* w) D' P/ U) R
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
/ [3 ~# E" \- @" G3 j* @( W/ ?* E6 x1 `/ e0 @2 a
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 6 W+ v5 L/ D. N$ F+ f7 e6 N! |7 t
) o) {6 p# N' n; ?
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
! q8 k1 I4 U* m1 l4 E2 }" a9 E
- m6 h3 g& l1 d) pBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
. n* t$ Y6 n! X5 ]9 G
2 V. k3 V G. o/ Z9 w1 B4 @( JFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. - q: c6 A$ _1 N5 F4 z1 ~& F/ a
. O, x; a/ V( wSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 2 Z: P$ r$ k$ M7 G7 R
1 M- ?$ u$ H! z" ~4 i- @Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. - } R, G& i2 z$ w3 D! {
( O- Z( m$ J0 }9 y. r9 U* XWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
; ~6 ?+ H* `+ V7 @2 ], T7 u7 _( C& C. i& V, d
Pee.
7 x% `! e/ B0 ]2 w% [5 G( }9 x! n1 b+ ?1 ]; s
Rinse off and get out of shower. $ f, [3 d% A0 p1 w; g7 ^
0 b1 t X% V2 J. [. ~( b1 `
Partially dry off.
& |0 W7 v7 N" b8 D! S! \" ~1 F
3 p. s3 [) y1 S, C- D4 CFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
, h6 Z" F$ e- d. B4 s( E" j) ?& M9 L. V
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
' ~1 q2 y6 P, [- r9 P* J2 [
" K9 R2 \( v: P; z3 _9 s$ @* t- rLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
$ g, H- u6 w) f J; d5 I2 X
2 B! S6 N: ]) c0 }2 MReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 9 ]! \: O: a+ ~8 H6 @8 [
1 e0 D: d0 J" \
Throw wet towel on bed. : q: h3 w( M" l; l, z
# L7 \! I& q, u1 z2 C8 kIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
