 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : + J- S+ O2 ~0 S) K0 E y
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.3 \& F. ^" ~# ^( e6 I
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. - Z- U e# b, }- @+ k; m
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.' X4 [1 [3 E2 p2 x5 Z/ q# e
$ ?0 l/ t+ i& I( A2 D& T6 V9 cLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 3 D: p. [) `5 d3 u, ?+ w) u8 p
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.5 H% I" h! O8 Q' o% V
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 1 T0 z8 w% L3 e& u
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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$ w. f9 z3 g7 e# i) ICondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..- H. a; B+ ?9 @/ L, m
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9 ^2 o% D7 C3 A
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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( q; \7 S, [- X' z6 l# zRinse conditioner off hair.) e1 @# Q3 h+ w0 }+ ^6 @: {
" i2 L4 u" ]- Q0 C1 [" v K0 xShave armpits and legs., o$ t2 p& H& `5 S6 I6 b+ @
" t, g0 A! D$ E) I( g6 RTurn off shower. [; K0 p( \5 {
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ! @7 H3 `: L* U
* S$ ]( d1 Z/ d$ O$ ^- jGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 2 y% u6 C3 z& Q2 F
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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, ]* G* _: z: ?$ O# F# {% n& b. eReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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- s3 J3 c3 E" b( }& v0 X4 XIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. , V* S) s# ?) y* j) P' [
% U* b6 F+ L ^6 s' g0 C# S( u" J# mWalk naked to the bathroom.
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- m% v: b3 d) M' D9 P' Q. hIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. - }' F8 [5 m+ C! i/ D9 \% r; w
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. % x: M6 d3 C0 z) k
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 0 e" n" t- g) F; [4 K
5 U; x5 p' n$ v# X+ I# u" L$ SGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + Z. S3 f: y) u0 Z! T; ?( @) K
) a- V/ T. Q' H* s7 nBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ! Q' f4 f5 _; E% \8 a! O1 W. S
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. - N9 h; C( S' Y
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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, @1 N& A- d, o6 w4 FPee.
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) g0 @9 Y: K4 O% L4 V) }+ zRinse off and get out of shower. : |% H) w" O7 k {+ c9 R. O; H
7 d; `, A/ D4 W. k3 v2 b3 uPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. : b7 g) J( T1 b9 s9 o$ G! G; |5 e
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. # k' [. l5 P( W
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. & O$ D, R; D& C) M- g3 K0 _
2 k" ]) g* j, [: A* \/ G& nReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 0 e' j; D; o7 |' W6 A s4 X
, O& ]( @: A" p( MThrow wet towel on bed. + y- y' T; c& X' H. I$ F' ^, m5 o! G
2 t/ h( w% _! wIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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