 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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5 A3 E1 W! q: t" |1 R& O$ CWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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# y' Q6 A. f2 |8 N; A! [" C; TIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.8 z: n8 I$ U0 C+ m7 M/ T
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
3 x% v: V- m% fmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5 c8 n+ c t9 E; ~0 @1 V
( n8 e$ ~4 { @ ^, N) Q8 A& x2 IWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ; D! {) D. W) Y
. ^$ }" Z2 p7 g; _" }3 tWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.4 C1 C* {, V. {- b* L0 m9 ?3 A
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..9 o2 D* q0 J$ \3 E
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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% u5 m J& o. L! s! t' _5 DWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 2 j2 y; T" l" c. Y! v
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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* K6 f8 S- W6 D- `' I7 NTurn off shower.7 M6 c6 S; @4 u$ T9 s/ R* J
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. $ I1 |- O* l( l( {. {
: _/ D5 A6 [2 _: G# Y. H8 LGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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) S2 N% S- D v% x- o" GWrap hair in super absorbent towel. % v5 A6 C& U' L( w U, J! F
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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: a+ }8 x) j' X" X4 _5 n+ r8 YIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ' B/ \$ p" M$ V! ^2 [/ H4 M
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 7 b3 b0 m% e( F
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 8 o7 J9 Q- s+ i. U* \
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ' H1 D5 n' T( p5 ~3 e. S
. I7 m7 |. z4 `9 [! k( V0 D5 XBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. - h2 A+ r- P( p) E( P
* F- h1 [- c( I, I. sFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. p9 j7 I8 }/ X' {& F9 o
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ; z. l1 V& @; x
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 1 s) R1 Z. s$ n" k# b+ K
3 ~9 a1 U6 I( uWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 9 s$ i! w, c& x8 U2 a9 X. f9 m4 e
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Pee. 2 C. w( W! ^( @& c" D$ p* N& i
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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% u+ w5 Y' C2 u6 d+ w# _Partially dry off.3 E/ O6 i4 ^3 c: ]9 w
( P2 p( q' X3 q* wFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. * B$ J7 {9 {( ~( E/ h* |. |
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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. Z4 }2 F1 c% [; `( O- Q* L& HReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 4 w. V' D$ d+ N7 y: f( d0 G2 ^( c
+ `5 R0 k' |! A0 i: ^If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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