 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
) @& P) h, Y' y% T$ e. \- i. l, f5 S* q/ d: b
' G/ W0 \4 j. x% O M' p$ v$ F
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
) B* x, J- R4 E( ], U+ p% y
* b9 L4 D. r- u4 ^" s0 V) o* H( A2 g; Q
6 w6 A+ S P4 h) f; b, @* q1 @" N% CTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
" s- ~; E# f, }0 u6 Z
2 c- P! } i% n( k9 z3 YWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
1 O3 A" D! A' _
: r& j* L+ g8 D6 K% {% v% K; p7 IIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
4 ]1 t9 A, d6 G1 | F
* H( c$ F3 ~; M6 T$ d4 N* VLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- * w- }/ B% A8 L/ P* q! d3 r1 M
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.9 n7 A9 {7 l5 s; g$ E
5 g2 [' s+ m5 {( y
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 2 }1 ]' q4 L/ v3 g7 B0 J" X* d) d
' _1 K% Q+ b" z0 `- ], o2 |' n
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. " {: J9 e( S1 ]) A/ ^3 ~
% g, z1 P5 P2 `( R6 }
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.$ K6 J& ?4 l! I/ F% ]
" |5 O/ n {; t) P
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..9 C. Q) ^/ R. j
, h3 _! r5 u' Y: O6 {; I: a/ v' pWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
* Y' Z1 V3 ~+ G6 T
7 ~" ]! w) y9 q, }! MWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
* I) n2 U( @; V3 q
X9 M1 M- ?4 w ^" ?' ` CRinse conditioner off hair.
w$ ^ a2 }! E5 c/ Y+ y: V
% L; A9 k$ ]( T* V R2 hShave armpits and legs.3 a5 z* S- x0 |, D/ B$ |/ b
: [; L# {0 W) y
Turn off shower.5 ~; ~- n+ p4 a$ ]. F* K
% r4 x* v% z5 w" s3 oSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.1 i3 i' b1 v6 ]+ W. N
4 O0 ?0 U/ O4 i5 e" Z# `9 uSpray mold spots with Tilex.
$ q N; d9 f. e7 V. f" a
% K- B% D* X: }0 K+ `5 L4 a5 I: UGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
e6 H( k8 u) F% a) l" I& N
! O4 W4 X/ i, o& e- w% [Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
' E( A7 W4 b* f& U- |7 g* K& N8 Y: M0 _0 c
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ; n+ ?* W* s" L3 ~
( d x, j7 N8 `( _
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. , H5 j7 _1 \" z( c
" B! v0 K( n! C; h4 E4 N! k
& [7 q/ b) M# d8 X( \
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: , x7 [ G: C: U8 g5 `) B" }
4 b" F0 o1 I$ N2 ^
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
3 O6 u% H- R& K2 G n3 {0 `
/ ^8 A' I2 l. |. _2 xWalk naked to the bathroom., t4 c& J. k! W
; m+ z3 \) \8 O: ~% k4 I( XIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ) }$ L. x' n" K2 K" t( H/ f/ M
2 c- l+ o& j- e# i! XLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
7 V, U. G; _+ y7 m/ z1 d& G8 n. }0 F( X: c$ K( Y4 j. \6 a/ U$ t
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. " k8 G6 L" i: x0 Y: m; t! |3 l4 N* w1 L
( t% [- I8 |0 H. {. l
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ! n3 G# t# U, u3 _$ f
9 K I" A1 A$ \" Y3 H: {: p
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
q( p5 B- A j1 [8 R
/ Q* T6 Q8 z8 c HFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
2 _5 o" L1 b( ~9 ]- a! j/ [ @9 v% P9 r- g+ W q h
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ; i. g. m4 ?. \
* G4 C, l9 ` _3 f4 B. T7 f! XWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 3 l* W/ a: g" I/ o0 o( H1 \
0 o1 m' G% J4 j& T: X) p8 [
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
! |) u4 q3 r# r) B
@3 l7 L* i7 cPee. 5 y3 O7 g+ }+ e- q# ~" [7 d1 J
& ^+ } M% a, T; ]. h
Rinse off and get out of shower. 7 V. W0 l0 q$ u
8 H( [, q/ W. B* E
Partially dry off.
8 h4 R! y# M* M6 C V' r) S1 e6 ] l, k
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
+ v8 \+ |% m( I
; m* G# |/ W$ D" s1 E( X2 nAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
, k/ r7 S& ~' k+ T
6 X* p' N( p; DLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 0 t: I# W+ P% X" ~3 Q1 j
S' Z0 _1 T" i: e3 v
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. + Z& h$ V- Z6 r; o4 V
1 V( d$ `6 c( C4 s9 z: U, E1 U: EThrow wet towel on bed.
8 i/ ]0 f! h1 G7 U* A& u) f- J2 F' ?$ M- n; i( ^; M; r
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|