 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 4 |$ l: j9 g; U# c- |
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- d/ |9 K. e. z: v# G+ u y% m3 _Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. ~3 B' G: l3 y2 c5 d
. \5 x& J. @& {" W2 LWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.2 v$ P% s) |$ O) W1 p( ~
1 {% d0 ~/ B8 w. W4 Y8 JLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
7 L# ?' z" e, i c! N2 ^" ]make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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1 I z4 M q/ N D/ {+ `9 e b" J6 TGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. " T& X$ l/ p) G- S
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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" V4 W; ]4 C. c3 J% ^Shave armpits and legs.
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2 V( }6 ]9 b/ L2 KTurn off shower.* r; [" C6 y/ C& f5 T" C
, ^% A' p& ]9 J- N6 MSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.. e; |4 D8 A) D3 I
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 9 i5 ~- d! x- q9 u7 p
9 v9 w$ R- v; d, z% k7 xWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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7 _& O4 P$ {- ]& ~2 L: FIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. * J$ U2 x# C# b1 V
* R9 v3 [5 U. U5 R+ \' GWalk naked to the bathroom./ O5 p+ ~( e; l% G* ?/ L# `
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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+ @5 ^1 X8 g8 o! E* n( EGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 7 M8 Z: [3 |+ u( W! B9 S8 t( Z. |
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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+ S" Y0 X* g% R5 USpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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& ]( s' C- q) O2 pWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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. g, w% \! u2 j$ A! s9 O1 ZWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. % J# j! Y* m' g' f8 ]. J6 ~
. r0 t7 ^# F/ c2 b4 b% {+ _' sPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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/ ~* Y' E0 p9 a3 Q) @, EFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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; w, W6 O0 g l% a) }, WAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. * M" j& M/ ?* s3 F, f% ?
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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$ g% P" S d! C* kThrow wet towel on bed. 4 y9 n" S9 m5 x& e. ? p& U
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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