 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ; G% `6 _6 Y; c, }
I3 e, J* y* d: ^8 h; J
5 L; O) E2 O3 e--------------------------------------------------------------------------------% {) y; E# Z9 D+ q7 Q3 c
( T4 i, b) b i3 U: m/ N7 N4 H W B& C% k
3 Y9 x7 B7 z( s1 M2 ?/ L% P0 O+ K
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.1 z- Y0 v" z) u" c
' b9 w2 E% \! r& C% lWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. / X. V6 ]3 Z: }3 O0 J
8 C. j1 x s; M2 xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
- C$ x: T4 n! ^( v; \3 `6 [
! d3 B9 G+ v; x, \Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- * k) S; A' R* A6 c# V
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
- `7 y6 M$ Z7 R9 W! Y: S
2 u8 a% X6 J$ \8 s4 X. g# O* ?8 O$ MGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
1 |- f, X" U: a! z& A* [9 W! ` B, \' r7 ?3 N }" r7 n; m
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. + r4 ]. h' }/ ]0 I3 _6 g$ v3 H; A
) b1 x+ y8 b* f( F, j% cWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
. n+ |2 P+ h' {& R+ @- a E
: Q0 K7 `4 E/ E9 W/ G6 OCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..8 u' J" g6 u, N& x1 `
8 m# m/ I' W- T& H! B$ w+ z* f/ u
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
$ a1 {& m. |( ], }; \' d* g
4 O0 q) P& {$ N' I1 T8 {( _; lWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
) D+ H9 @0 s1 n8 b; L
' I; o. I- w/ m" B. I. pRinse conditioner off hair.
W2 c; D, o5 I* Z; b: g
( s# k. [! o" a! G# @0 }Shave armpits and legs.. X2 x9 A$ V) h p
2 p! \- G7 e" H, E- w0 _" H$ C. Q! WTurn off shower.
|4 Q' @, ]+ u
8 g6 H% r) O0 E: a# i+ c7 A8 PSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
6 O3 d( J0 G: z& d1 z) K0 @# V* b. p1 ~" y. v! j) i
Spray mold spots with Tilex. - Y& c h" i' w1 c5 U5 v; [
3 ]5 @# S3 ]: Q7 d, W4 v3 vGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
2 T+ h5 D' y u! |4 m8 M( C8 S, G5 d( y/ v2 {: o0 v/ r$ x% `% |/ |
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. $ }: ?0 B" R2 I5 @, _# n
( |9 q5 s! K8 n( a3 p) o
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. - \- y9 x$ C+ a) J* x, J# D+ C
( C2 J3 V8 y" Z
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. _$ E8 W) w, P! W# U
0 S0 H. {1 m( O$ q& ]& n% A( V
2 P: o' ~: Q( nHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 8 w; V, V: ]0 G
" N! z: r Y# }) n! p0 I8 g/ b
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
* I y' }" ~" g% J, A) `; M. ~' f9 `- N6 s: g: b
Walk naked to the bathroom.
4 p) Y1 K2 ?2 S( N' G/ V8 |* P+ |, Z- [) \4 M! W9 ?7 T% Y( ?$ E( P
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
4 V) C: E* w! ?4 ~6 O h, e7 q% w& d }, m/ W- K
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ( X2 f: A* b* h# Q9 i
% C* e9 s; W/ d% v9 M9 B& }- nAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
2 Z0 s! Z) W0 H" \' A9 r: j e a, G& y( e& R* K
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
% Q& Q3 D) I& g
% p- |8 k- O8 eBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 8 x7 Z3 ?) t1 Q- A6 @& P
- w* q( |0 ~- B2 w% i0 |Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
' a3 f- d7 T0 }4 F) o8 a: m. l8 _
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 9 v# o) _% A. o/ Y' F. i
( ` U5 l* C8 N/ a! \. fWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
- @" b3 X4 Z2 i4 A3 Z
( w3 @) G+ }7 \Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 6 t! y, L2 j1 Q6 I
7 d0 O Y& V O1 W. j" D2 RPee. ' g- r9 a5 F! D2 {# E
2 p' a; V7 Y7 h+ u$ jRinse off and get out of shower.
! u* F+ x. k5 m2 }# F( E' N6 C' j$ Q) H( r+ [1 X8 Z
Partially dry off.( [: j( {. l1 j7 m, I2 d8 K
0 ^+ A, \; @+ V/ T' [1 iFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( E1 d. w$ f% s; i
0 U" v9 c' Z* M. O s
Admire wiener size in mirror again. * @5 w3 N6 D* g
f2 U# ?; P2 ~8 J- q) a, G, @
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 1 y* ~5 M9 a- h& @) }& \% ]+ t" }
9 R4 s- V+ @0 w8 y2 y8 L+ FReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. * B. ~- Y- K& R6 `7 N0 Z( x
) m0 T" t& u1 o R
Throw wet towel on bed. 2 j9 \! C7 B$ d7 i
' E2 e+ l3 Q, F. @( ]4 n
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|