 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 8 |7 e- U6 ~( {: E
% r* l: h" p+ R! g5 U" s$ M
4 Y, a$ H/ I9 W2 M9 Z4 x' G--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 ?" T) j2 D5 X# |) J; H
; k4 P, Z& a, w/ U
8 _& b+ {7 x0 {. Y! y ; T. }" w# Q* S
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.0 t- ]& }$ P q1 z4 `3 g
% J" {# f" l# _8 t; W h
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ) g& | ?5 U2 I0 p1 i1 V7 H; H) [5 J
2 `( O1 {$ T( G# ]5 `If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas., U* J; s4 ~' r" [9 g9 K3 t( l
7 N' G) a- P, U. J; J! o" O
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
7 |5 Q" s; C# C9 _8 e( `: ~+ Zmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.9 y1 D f" F/ L" ^& Y# v
: c: f1 g/ o# E6 y3 ]Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
, Q8 ~) a# o+ X4 C* m( a& M0 d2 r% _, N+ [- k1 F4 Q, x o+ |
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ; w% S3 _+ m% E, H5 a. d t
" o! x- N: F$ w, Q
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.5 j1 A, k! {/ t0 H# Z
% X& ^8 W( \& F1 a. f' r/ vCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
7 U' b8 m+ V; [ ?
7 l* v; x" b" a/ e6 xWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. $ y) ^9 A4 y2 a4 c+ H% B- F' R: H
+ V- `% D2 O. I0 e; z4 |Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
: q. T" s2 B0 ]) v0 y p
8 b" z1 {9 j" k: t6 Z5 \Rinse conditioner off hair.
% R1 O8 Q9 D6 _
5 Z& ^& t) {$ A0 S2 z5 P4 P+ lShave armpits and legs.( v0 {) F9 q# ~5 B2 u" U# T
0 K' T1 n& j v* G: U) ~) g0 Q, _Turn off shower.
( ^+ s: D4 c* U$ }: G- K+ n8 s/ i( \5 Q: ~: v+ r
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
/ L# ?+ C9 t; E4 o+ Q* {2 l1 J- }& K/ D! E
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
- v( o E# _" Y. ?1 v0 A) F( T$ c9 V
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 8 {+ m1 D! V* p1 l: `' u( e
0 \) {2 |. t/ q7 q B9 P5 |
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
0 ^" N2 L2 O# O
% _7 L1 a/ {- w# H. VReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
5 z; r1 u5 m9 ^. Z3 |' I9 N# D/ ]! ^4 i; \$ J" U$ e
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
: ]* B9 }! K* ^; m! ^8 h+ v' M& o# l; Q$ L4 Q4 x
' X& f4 R0 ^6 K# ~
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: # [4 i7 `+ g% q) A8 U0 R9 [
+ _" ~) D# X- g/ @Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
7 J6 c% m' T" T7 Y- x1 B/ V
. _& N1 r, u5 s# L2 o+ E7 uWalk naked to the bathroom.- Y! O. e7 R) N: W6 @; X& O
9 _3 Q+ F: n3 ~4 R' k& _% Q
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
$ ?4 v/ r% m1 Z9 P. y4 N0 H
8 r) R+ p Q* ^6 J% n6 @Look at your manly physique in the mirror. / g6 I8 ]% u1 Y# p% B, j
' a6 g% |) s0 I; A* R. b
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
. T( ]" g1 @# J& ]% ?3 x
& D7 i% l) l3 I. C7 X$ y2 MGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. - Q( h- U$ F& a4 X/ V3 Z& S
. Q1 V* f, D7 A. N7 K" ~
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. / ?$ l: y# F& q
8 j* m5 l8 G1 g/ o/ r6 a
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 8 f3 l0 n& U" p( w
5 j) \/ a3 n5 Y* Z r0 YSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 A2 M" g& U) o0 p$ N; c
0 O$ T7 F+ Z7 S& w9 }( pWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
0 ~' z/ h& t3 W
- y% a, ?5 }, m$ ]- X* ]: w* tWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ( N7 \& _! C) N; u, r* r
: Q+ T8 c, M, e$ R( _ NPee. 5 g l+ A# u$ |& ~% o3 k# A
( g Z1 U) W) {+ c9 d
Rinse off and get out of shower. ) z% P7 d* Q* r \# [5 w
* c% B4 p/ _9 e5 i; n( k2 y2 OPartially dry off.3 W. e. K0 P' x. S* _, |
* m' L( g+ T; S( }2 K9 W3 W
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
0 z4 c6 @8 Y$ s) B: ^" u0 C1 [; @- C0 ]& W( Z0 M2 r7 q
Admire wiener size in mirror again. ) R6 W4 d5 |8 ~) U/ `; k
- Q$ d4 N9 W- F% v5 G
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
8 ^' ]/ d ~4 i( v% D2 L' d! C) }" a4 v3 Y- g
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 7 O& h- G0 \" E9 Z
. }( K" m% M9 i7 @) m1 i: ]" t$ R
Throw wet towel on bed.
* c! g' v( ?1 q# [- J( c6 r+ ]5 e
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
