 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
8 b) U6 W( l. y$ ]! w: u( V' D- ]7 x- M
; A+ N9 b! a2 r: S" Z+ n% A
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------# ^8 t/ W6 o) Z/ {
) T6 @: M5 j! V8 H$ s& S8 Z; s; y4 e/ s, `
9 E% _, x. h3 t& V$ y7 q
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
. B5 U! Q: U( B/ U/ T0 t9 y. \& ^4 j1 i
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + h4 L0 ~& N8 d9 N: Y) N
4 ]2 m9 w b" S* A+ k+ `3 i& ~
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
) r" A& ] B2 k8 L3 ?/ C; q9 s. M" S! i) Z) o. \* J, P
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 9 ^# Q' u R: Q2 ?, ?
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
1 y3 J' j5 w, r2 h' ^0 R3 v( L# K2 V8 p C5 [% u R/ a" l
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ' r( h. x9 w6 E3 Q4 L. O/ k
3 }% p9 X$ n5 PWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
. K% P$ _+ x; _8 N) A, G
$ {+ y, G }( G7 uWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
, v+ I3 m, P8 o% ?. F- c: E- C; r
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..6 V* V) F3 ?* l3 d# j6 X! a0 g
& a! L4 X8 l3 w# a4 S
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. + S4 J5 F/ b3 @% j5 B0 T) G
2 ?9 ?3 k. Z1 j* b' GWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
/ j$ v5 n4 k! |* z$ ]! w- ~2 l8 O) s3 O9 C' w* I
Rinse conditioner off hair.
+ \% i$ W F E! ?# b# B) e' r$ {( j3 [" A0 }
Shave armpits and legs." I+ S- B0 |- l6 ?
9 a3 T, I( i' _Turn off shower.8 o+ y% G/ S4 s9 B$ K
' ]: l- O1 T# n
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
, q+ O& Q2 X4 ~1 p
/ I; ~# r! ~% f7 q8 tSpray mold spots with Tilex. ! y/ B" T* H1 X2 n+ S: ?& U' H/ z, `2 C
. [! C, b8 d. H: I7 e. \
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. % N1 [* p) z0 F$ m
6 }0 r8 m' f+ U! pWrap hair in super absorbent towel. : d1 t3 u! X" S1 u) e
9 Q) u/ Z) ~" f7 N. {4 xReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
a4 M% @- d$ N' I# d+ v/ ]( H$ j) d, l* x3 B @8 [ ~' X
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
* m M4 G" J9 g) U7 W# ?
- G" F# m% @4 X2 W2 u: G: b& h% C* s
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 0 `' o1 i; C( M9 v& S$ o1 d! w) ]
6 I* ?; g" x; Q* D1 aTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
3 ]3 y; H3 L9 n2 u
$ M" @: d- o1 _) h9 mWalk naked to the bathroom.1 O6 ?0 O5 r' b5 N2 U
1 L3 ?4 V4 g7 K. qIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
. K$ ]: S z" @3 E1 p. O( s, K, k; J( J
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. + C+ O6 h4 G6 z% V. g0 v2 c3 A
' \2 B( f5 \0 o0 J3 }4 i4 j
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
6 Z6 c4 W! O& r# D. B3 M: ]! b
4 _* L5 ~/ U) o5 s4 G7 oGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 2 U; w$ w2 j+ O; n L
& U2 p3 O# Q4 N4 i e! J9 Z( T, y% aBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 7 ~) n: |; q* K3 D1 G
1 G4 p# b& n; }3 T9 @. {2 r- [2 c/ `Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ; }7 K, v g) S8 m5 ]8 L
/ \8 g6 W- P& K1 i( a5 bSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
$ w4 @- M4 Y. R5 ]) \' P3 }. {/ ?
: D2 a8 w* S1 Y1 h5 B0 H+ nWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 1 J& K5 V" l# x. {! R8 c% `
. U( z& w0 T% n2 v' ^6 uWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
, B4 T& \" {& i5 w+ r7 f5 y0 J# k6 ^2 V! |3 n, N
Pee. - W, K/ ?1 m/ m* r J+ T
. G8 ~3 d8 g. M
Rinse off and get out of shower.
9 r u8 d: J' G2 P) D0 `6 G# v1 ]$ I& V4 ~* Y" e
Partially dry off.
$ Z! s1 q$ G. b! g/ B0 p: p3 K1 \( o2 s3 ^+ m. o
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( O$ e. Z' ~3 J4 Q7 C
1 J1 {5 s$ G6 d4 R9 m2 ~" pAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
5 e1 x$ V, w: m: Q t3 S/ s# b0 s6 M- ~' z' }4 Z
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
$ L/ j8 m! e. X6 y7 E2 u
* B5 L" L1 V) t1 xReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
3 I% X- c9 [+ @4 A4 C0 o" \
' `, l7 ^( o% p% \" MThrow wet towel on bed.
* y; F2 w/ Y% L" V9 ^0 g% T( a$ I' J: x* ^7 F$ N' E
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
