 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : - t: l0 M% \' c( x9 @
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.$ @7 l) l4 C X' M# J# ]& k/ P0 Q
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.' l$ e: q# q3 e& {0 ^* [
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
0 E0 P9 O) V! h! I8 v9 pmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. . Z' _, |! `( @( T8 m! U
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. , K& }1 E9 F* g! c. \
* m2 ^! x8 a+ m1 H* y2 s- oWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.* l* e0 r; d1 j0 N
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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! j. t" S( ]) Y# [/ t+ ^Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ) k# _, j- w7 `+ j/ }& ]: E
% l' }- s8 N" f- uWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * m1 g/ e: l. s% z
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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5 x- i7 l* c* r# L8 B, U; ^: ?Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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5 ~5 S( s# c( D: ~, p4 g! `7 c: _Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 5 C* g6 h5 j6 @# O8 g$ w$ d
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. # y' ?- U" N2 w, z2 {
) X) ?2 U, F+ a. M1 f: B+ o4 v& HWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 7 z3 k# ^' O- t: B$ y$ D
, q+ |" j: d6 S7 p' r {Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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" ^# `3 Q1 b# }1 v5 hIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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/ {" A! U! |- ~* vTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 8 T2 ~" U: T7 g
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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; n, M5 r; |+ }If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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3 f! M0 I9 p+ n l; }* ELook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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7 D& `) Q" U, j* Q4 U7 \+ U) iGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 2 R* H" m. [; I; F1 A
m; [! n. |8 E4 _+ u6 a: PBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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" [1 O4 `, r$ R1 vFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. + H! c: q$ D5 B/ I) [
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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) M9 y) U1 E" n, u4 `Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. - T% b/ N8 R( z& b6 J2 c
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 0 ]2 `8 S$ Q$ `. m( o
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Partially dry off.5 S" d2 l* f$ t6 n: S8 D+ X
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 9 {* K' \8 M" J1 D" W8 N( a
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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" R. J) a9 G ^' D1 E& H' _8 u9 MReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. : B5 R' ~! h; O4 C
$ o( d. V/ j/ M8 c( D; _5 IThrow wet towel on bed. 5 @" R# l( t1 u% x
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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