 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : * D$ f; m1 J! e2 {
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" c' L) D$ ?8 o2 yTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks./ e+ J4 j9 k' S7 E1 _ I
6 Y- _+ u3 w( ~Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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1 @# e5 ~* F/ ZIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas., \ l \/ Z8 Q# l' A) |8 S3 s# P
8 C! `7 q6 E5 d6 e% A- W; OLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- U; [8 m2 f @& G, u) v: t* Q
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.8 B5 T [& A# d& Y R
# s# {2 }, J' Q% E6 i; wGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ) R& d5 D* e& X$ r i
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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1 P7 f9 m, M8 ?# |5 w8 z% ^6 Z8 UWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.$ C5 G( [5 c4 V" A5 t( W5 G
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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8 T; Q. Q$ L% c) dRinse conditioner off hair.7 y t" v& \* x
2 v+ } z& u K* I; c( Q' GShave armpits and legs.5 {6 f Y; |7 F
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 4 m2 x$ {( S; K- n' p7 D L
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 8 Q( m* U1 _1 ?, l* h
- J s8 P0 c/ |& y+ ] [+ HWrap hair in super absorbent towel. * V' \) [, O1 u2 [
8 T; P7 }" F, V+ KReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. . n! b6 Z, m8 J8 G
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. : U/ H3 k" c9 B# s+ p! w3 |4 p0 k
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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1 C( @/ l& s5 z$ q5 zTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.; ^+ g$ T- d0 g1 y
" K. V$ t; D$ y/ T* n" |& OIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 6 n( A" R3 k- ?, c6 {' t
$ B4 t2 j7 k- U. C7 @/ NLook at your manly physique in the mirror. & V) x6 I& G0 B; s7 }: e/ }! W
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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% s% h( W& G3 `8 ~Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 9 v- A3 K0 F4 B: G& {5 [
5 M. c- ?) F( gBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. + \! \) r6 A! \- u& A
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 7 o- d- z4 J: H. l
f4 k' i' a3 Z/ X& kSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. & g3 v8 S* V* H( P* R3 e, e) c4 }
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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0 I# j! W/ S& l# S- Q/ @Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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4 S9 H( M) |" ~; x. mPee. 4 F' w+ n$ |( Z+ F
2 t( T( @+ `) g# q# e% `* CRinse off and get out of shower.
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/ z3 l; c' p0 a8 y. h+ ZPartially dry off. C8 J V1 K; W
* _" [- G. ~- X5 @ s8 {Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 7 P& L1 k6 w8 s" a
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. * |: ?5 R, \9 b) C) |& e
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 2 v0 B2 n$ e3 H) S
/ d" n& g9 S n- EThrow wet towel on bed.
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0 h& ]4 E7 t$ {) ~6 PIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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