 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ( f" n" m1 I8 _# y7 H( M: _+ D: }
* U& K5 G3 o0 T5 O% p$ D
( _. ]( s2 f; g6 w5 h ~7 Y--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
% { D1 Z( G q
4 {+ q) H4 ]1 r$ ~$ w2 C( D2 R' p* @& J! v/ k1 @' j- `
+ V* ?' Y" M- [* N
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.) x2 R \& `; B' T b7 O. ?/ E; j
* o: F9 Z/ L4 n. f3 X5 D! RWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. , y9 N/ b2 k+ S% i. m
9 Z1 s4 B. t( P4 q0 {If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
, ]( I4 G; X( ~) t2 J
1 ~+ `4 ]1 d* t( g7 l. J0 FLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
" v0 h: \; `7 G& G* p3 Emake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.. V' f+ I6 ?9 |) G/ Z
! G# d' q* w+ E" B' A2 g6 `Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 8 s4 i! b3 d# F
9 b- {$ l+ P7 W- g" \Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
; \3 Q% |4 A9 r" I" s. |5 \2 X& a% ^3 N8 ^. x9 m" s3 \
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.7 O! l& A5 T# E4 ]& d4 z t
4 X* A1 `; I/ Q. o$ O @Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.., {7 x/ Q% l: d/ P& h [
! [& U8 u8 q7 w0 @7 b: ]
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
! Q* Z6 ~% {& d( J8 Z1 Q* n" u; {, p& T( k4 _: s2 `
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 9 `! ]4 H+ F9 d! }8 `) i
7 f d1 j) s, j
Rinse conditioner off hair.
0 ~3 U6 t% c& h' {/ ?" l+ c- A& F( N5 Z! N
Shave armpits and legs.
; y2 n" I$ E& F1 d: E& r9 y T$ i1 W* V) Z" |% V4 B
Turn off shower.
& t5 f5 F+ j: O8 A6 X# _! [$ A$ I) _5 ^
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.+ |/ u; y K$ f' \- Y0 `
- g: f. x$ @" r$ i1 H7 lSpray mold spots with Tilex. & ^6 u0 L, z9 p# S( W, b, [
! c7 B% |! u; w$ y7 e6 c
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 4 X8 S0 q7 i& U9 ~0 r9 q3 B# g
4 F. \, X# J: X$ D5 x
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. . W- e. l6 ]$ u7 P
/ v# `- J: D; t, y3 t% j0 U. O) {& QReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. / F9 @0 A, w: B4 s# v! Y1 X
% Q, l7 h. \, I$ ]5 U
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ' B H& ?" @9 t$ L. q! G
4 k5 M4 i; F3 F$ a6 Z" U9 {
" q L9 @6 ?4 {& @& a4 \: t% i7 @
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
9 N; w" J+ b+ X' F, b2 [/ y3 w7 R8 v. @8 `% _
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2 N# Y" L5 `9 E( L, V0 S; X* t. x9 @$ B( O% D' }9 U. K
Walk naked to the bathroom.
; J7 i5 n# C$ M& }4 K- y1 _& k! ^# \0 r
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ) ^. C+ G9 [0 V4 l$ e/ Q% l" M2 @7 q
8 o3 s% e* t0 w/ o" W9 R" Z: `Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
3 q- b8 O. w; W! N3 s$ p2 u {7 a# z% M1 U$ z1 k: `7 p6 X" f
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. . ?# m8 z- F9 J, _6 C! U# U2 y
& d! Y) ~% G; P7 l" P& T
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
; n% j9 f; Q1 a P: d, k- R, e1 o' t% q
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
! `1 A; X& R, X( v: K% E2 N' [
- m" r6 I! O7 aFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Z4 G( T: j- `& D( m( a% U) ?* q* m3 ]! c, C4 ?. f
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
: a. _. e* M. m% ^% K) m% O' K# I" Z( E8 o: j1 }
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
- Y4 h4 q) Q6 Z) e0 O
& T0 F: b8 o" x, P# Y2 rWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
5 Z- p. v: I0 B7 A( B8 c1 ?% s3 L0 Y+ X8 z& u7 Q; G8 K" Y
Pee. 2 N- b- Q: ?$ c4 k* v- T! g
P! M: E! a* N0 Z. ?
Rinse off and get out of shower. & W2 w w3 A. |$ y$ t7 D- H
3 U# R; o% ^/ p0 {' l
Partially dry off.
& \& N# j6 u4 \# f2 z8 `+ Z* ]$ r
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
/ c5 z# w' N1 a$ o7 K# y) J* v. x" g/ n4 u. c
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
) v* q& [/ A) z _3 \, |
# H9 r. @ R# e" }Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
7 L: U: a( w \. o" A" ]& `; {
* f7 w) u) X. p3 t7 M7 yReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. + B! _5 E+ V7 L0 N- P L' ]0 h+ a8 S
# y- a, t4 e \/ d
Throw wet towel on bed.
& |& l8 ~9 |: K9 k, Z5 ~% `2 ?; c! b) A; \. w5 w
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|