 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
" X3 n0 S$ S2 l+ L7 H3 p
- w9 u, Y' o/ X: R1 ]5 q% U
1 S( _- H+ P2 M1 n/ r--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
& C" ]& V3 r. [' g; r0 U! r) b: m6 e/ c6 P* E
4 _9 B9 I! q# q1 E
4 h, z3 r0 q0 H) c
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- s6 z9 `8 Y p+ {* a
6 X& D8 |' v) w8 r3 R, I- [Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + T- h+ O6 L7 V, C( F
( b/ \0 v- g1 F" w
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
5 m3 T; i( e! l% R$ G, S6 N- V: T ^3 a3 g
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- H* Z( Z* n+ D0 y: F( ]
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
( c5 Y' _$ H/ n; m. v7 ?& J7 i: C/ `. L1 U6 a, J/ _
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * U5 x% E/ |! _- \0 |( V
% E" k% t* l" r# F* s, |Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
! Y9 M' J% h5 I3 r+ }, O! Y2 J
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean./ E: x q. H; Z$ V! L* O/ u# y. J
J$ T% s1 x, E8 q, u: wCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
/ V) q- B" x- G3 R3 f6 u" q- a: P0 l6 _1 |7 G
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. , d1 R; `1 ~* X: \1 \
* |" k( x. L9 A! mWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 0 Z; u5 `' k; ^' E3 m/ w8 m+ v
4 E: h: Y9 @7 G) v# n% nRinse conditioner off hair." w0 a8 M: U9 ~5 B( Z* h" E2 V
8 I, n5 d6 B# U1 r; F! v. C$ sShave armpits and legs.2 J- e; ]9 X% i. X5 T. j5 C
) U6 t N0 E3 J/ w
Turn off shower.3 B% m% @) a% R1 {' V4 d( }
1 S0 A: I& x F' }/ }- M6 @Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
$ a: l5 s s- y
& Z( n7 y( B4 dSpray mold spots with Tilex. - V5 W7 K3 U' l1 U" e; F
8 B d! w8 m% w' y% |# b; }
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. & ~: z1 h+ K& I8 q; T
2 s* a0 b( ` n. Z3 G% zWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 1 p g/ e, {6 v( H% S5 y2 E
9 d6 |* ~5 V, i& D" ~# Z! E' jReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
( }% t" a9 f1 |% Y3 I j9 t' }
% S# \; T8 J5 y& v! g5 XIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 8 B6 _7 y# U& Z! P1 l
7 L# Q% l5 \4 u C/ ?1 C
- }7 A) \* e: ]4 P9 g
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
$ k8 K: C6 o! \3 F9 c9 U! j
3 z& [6 F) w. y3 U7 f, BTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
; h( ]% Z3 j1 l! s+ u% G
6 ^$ f. k( y( p4 w, {/ NWalk naked to the bathroom.
/ F; z( Z; Z3 H) y# o0 |! k; N1 g( {( ?+ x* T$ s
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
" ]9 C Y* S% k; S% R! [& x
6 k# n+ b. l3 l. m* O2 ?8 @Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 8 i$ y0 C: F7 O; P- c. H. e% C
4 N$ ?* y, W2 m8 R7 F; q
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. / |6 x# o2 Q# N. s
! o0 y5 E8 |8 B! Q, W8 UGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
, k1 x; Z1 v& l$ }2 p6 ]
/ P+ X. H+ D) l2 ]5 C. aBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
- x B: h# a- q3 |& E* P$ X" |9 F% g
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
/ {: N' A1 J8 x! t8 j: p" d- ?' u9 C* L' p; U5 K) e+ J; h
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 5 Q- d" d( |! X/ \
" n4 B E0 E/ ^' uWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
+ l/ w- @& P( c4 u3 g
7 d1 N& }" S" J/ V" JWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
. F2 i0 \! ~# j$ c: b; y, |/ ^. ]! {0 y& r) d, q. }
Pee.
) D+ I. F7 [# j3 ]. @: M$ z( y6 a7 @/ F
Rinse off and get out of shower.
+ Q- b1 Y0 b, B: b; U) c
$ ` E7 ?! m3 E+ b3 |' o( [1 Z( ]5 tPartially dry off.
/ l5 r) Q+ e/ w9 n% R/ Q. N$ i5 N& i7 c9 H4 a# Z
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 9 l; \3 Q" W- F# ?3 G7 v
8 M1 |- y' ` N3 _; UAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
) J# a- l! e, z J% g$ g; [( L& V, f' i3 v: c
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. " _: _7 s1 D0 O5 k: y( l7 [: n
3 q$ B' j1 g" g" R8 f& JReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ; J( W+ Y& N# S1 a9 O; T ^) G3 @
- ~. o$ M: ~8 R# lThrow wet towel on bed. 7 O" |. X; g) F. ] l
5 ^' r3 @& _' g {7 v. f# P, o5 JIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
