 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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( \! Z" F- Y4 x6 X/ T$ w! H0 b6 \4 lWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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4 p+ K4 h2 I1 n; `0 v$ D+ rIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.7 L' ]0 C" j- M5 }/ h+ n
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- % G5 `" D; ^' ?( ~7 |" r
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 a* S% |& Y* m6 |
* `, Y4 a9 i6 h" ?9 h9 v: J: AGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. & L* g7 Y: W! @* E
# f9 z5 Y* s6 p' M& |Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. : _' Q, a+ _ U$ B q/ T0 ~+ y
0 K+ ]+ o- V+ s3 N8 S$ VWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced... n6 H& ]% p6 P6 G/ u0 d" X0 F
' J4 k4 p+ t8 r5 AWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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/ ]5 h H F# @1 {2 PRinse conditioner off hair.
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7 z: b& G. c$ c, ?& Z# N- C4 y+ VShave armpits and legs.; o2 S) L# c: z3 ?- N
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.2 l& z3 ?& d; n+ {
$ {7 Y, V6 o1 [, m+ ?. n" ISpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. " x' r" u$ @: u0 j0 p
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. & f; N2 d, g: S, U/ {3 L
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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3 H$ N9 L" _! ^+ \/ _; X. ~$ R% |Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 4 X! S9 H* F& Y: R* c5 [
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ! N6 v4 C+ O; B1 [, |9 b: r
V' W8 G1 \- A m1 Z& i$ E3 F6 }Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. / M3 G/ \: c1 c8 w% M! H' F) \
7 e2 I5 e% c) _, DBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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, o. ?- n8 O# kFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. " y. J- J' I! R; B& l
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 7 F+ W7 l; w% N
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 8 @% a& x' M( q4 X: ?& d$ b
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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* K( @7 n q8 H* Q3 zPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 8 E; N! M4 i1 J
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Partially dry off.# p# l( Z- G: G8 T' f! I7 P
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 1 h s: }$ [4 y. P
! @2 P7 E" o2 e1 k( V! P( hLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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) R0 b: K' o# |5 kThrow wet towel on bed. % f a/ n' a# ]( R9 S2 w9 x
$ F' E% [: _/ K FIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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