 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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, B& m/ l- l" z% gTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.. z- S5 E0 A2 A& o4 a# D
/ k& P6 [4 K/ ?Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
; G0 u2 U3 P' l. bmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.% _6 o, D* P: G$ B1 P
3 f0 S4 c7 q5 b3 L- w6 h$ U+ F" ^Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. T6 W1 a6 Z, `# o+ n9 K- A
! u O S9 E4 l: ?0 DWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.* q4 k/ P# D6 T4 N( @
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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+ E/ m' t' t- wWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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3 \# P' t- S$ [Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.6 J4 u; y3 y6 p- ?# j* ~# b
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.3 L: c' |& |) W$ Y0 u$ w" T7 p
' q- j( q# A4 H+ eSpray mold spots with Tilex. 7 w: o0 G5 [9 i D# I6 @" K3 y) M
$ l! q2 l: i4 B9 x/ H! L* k/ vGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. $ _) }- L1 V# { g' O+ O. h
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 5 f2 O$ U: @' g# l; P
$ a3 D6 T7 X) c% ?( OReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 5 V$ i, \% g7 r' x& l
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. + g' D: z' J3 B p
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4 t4 V- B1 C5 g0 x, T8 xHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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5 h" I; A+ u$ w8 ]# ^Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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- d2 G) ~6 `. }3 v* `If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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0 o" `* z+ ~, b' d4 L) h3 ~6 BAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. . l! @, C) A$ y: ~4 u' x! W( g8 l
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. H J" f3 s" F0 A* k) n
+ @! h0 N# E xBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 5 k4 e+ f' l# }: R' R
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ' p( [5 O$ x; A
3 T- x3 v# r1 V& m5 W' pSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. ! i: s2 c& s6 k
. k8 a1 g" R( D$ p2 c9 {Partially dry off.) f1 Q6 P6 K) |1 `% u/ R
! y; `. M6 o- Y3 S- V9 rFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. " p# g( B* }* }2 H( ?
' Q# ^" s' F7 v" uAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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; k' \5 Q3 q# i3 aReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. % Z5 ]/ M( A+ J5 ]" R& T/ v- S
9 K, g( r, M# }0 B" z: kThrow wet towel on bed. 6 d4 C; k9 Y! |" Z
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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