 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : + a6 a$ J3 r" E' F0 `
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8 z3 a- d+ W* A& rTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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( R, ], s7 h/ K& AWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 5 _2 C. U1 l8 j: @ L3 F& v
z8 D2 M, N' Q! a. m/ QIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
$ C4 h, {5 ]! E( [4 `2 U/ m; f) ]1 j0 gmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. @! J8 h2 v" L3 ^9 v/ x& l
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. & Q/ z Y8 o ] y, {" u
# K; H9 H2 A+ V P' }: U4 JWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. - H; q/ h/ Q" p4 c" ?" |; s3 N1 t" J
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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! P M! w4 w4 ]4 oCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..0 v% d6 C( n: I1 E3 t
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. # }& Q, D+ K+ v' k( t& Q* E I. c4 o
. I4 m$ b: _+ @ o7 JWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 6 x( P& ^5 W% E: O& }* s
\( A9 l+ R dRinse conditioner off hair.
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" G) j- ?' f+ h# `! C6 M0 EShave armpits and legs.
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: }) ]! C: X0 j9 ^Turn off shower.- q8 w; [+ V$ m+ V" w: _. Q+ M! b
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ' B' H: n4 ?% G. w+ p; X7 Y
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. / c; I7 A2 P% c" ]' G3 n; s$ y/ Z
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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0 L- P) Y+ E: x, a+ GIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 1 T! x, ]5 }; v5 V- m
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% S9 n4 u0 C( O/ X7 n2 @HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 4 a$ h" E O: [; t: H& _ R( ~
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ' B. o6 `# n3 N6 ~1 \ l
1 h1 f/ g2 o: ~Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. " w+ q6 I/ G! Z6 R4 {2 |: s
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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) x, n) [4 B: q+ _( p6 G& P2 bBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ( k. h0 j$ m* o8 _) F
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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, h' t- ?: m: pWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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+ B* Z7 ^% Y$ b' ]$ I8 xWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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$ |& k# w. ?* c( y8 ]Partially dry off.. p7 P9 n* V% L; {
: ?- e3 Q) m+ u1 E# o6 sFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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9 r5 X: J- R% ^2 l; I3 ^Admire wiener size in mirror again. I1 r; |- e- I
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. - V2 z9 a/ j: ^) ~7 i
+ K4 @1 ] N, @Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ! x) _1 A- F1 {* i1 [# E
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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7 ]$ L( x" o4 R2 jIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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