 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ( {6 v8 |& K* m
) l' Z+ a _+ @; gIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.% i- [4 H2 Y2 \0 u# Z6 V
" N" x+ L/ B1 x) rLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
8 C8 O! X- L. T4 h1 Qmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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5 I. ~$ F D. m" A, C9 P* O( bGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 2 N3 L/ ^) {: n
8 r3 j. e1 l5 v V% v2 G( d7 wWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.* X0 o5 Y: w9 z+ X4 M$ U/ X- ]6 ^4 Q
1 E! T2 \0 E/ y, Z O* V* V4 y, qCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..# F8 N% O/ n. E0 C4 f
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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0 A+ h! {. Y9 }& @( XWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. : s2 D" X' ^6 z, c1 }4 e3 b
+ d. Q+ o( S F+ z0 X! eRinse conditioner off hair.
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0 d5 K% j4 J# I% T% j/ [. lShave armpits and legs.! w3 B' N' l4 [3 Z/ i3 P
' ~9 y, J0 _, N4 aTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.. @$ t; _+ d& J- D1 d" w& @5 y( v
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ; K( U+ ~7 k1 }' p" c( D
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 8 c3 h o0 ]6 U1 i" x/ X! |
; U, D: a* Z" c/ ?" |Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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; x1 ]6 S8 Z& T/ @2 q' x" \Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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( T# u R) F4 x( l) p) [If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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# F4 Z" m4 ], q' C/ Z8 ]Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ; k7 W) \7 ^, ~5 Y, K$ v
9 X. W( s; |% q H4 p9 \/ l) MAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + g' h( G. E B$ z- d
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 3 F9 C1 K7 r8 i* M( ~7 V7 t
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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; q6 R+ \$ P |$ z, u, |3 L/ kSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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/ p+ N4 N1 }) Q3 p$ M' c1 S& _+ I& oWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. , }' x5 [8 S5 s$ i4 W% {! L
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. # A1 b' y( {$ w9 o
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Pee. 7 M# c4 c! v7 r3 [ z
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 2 s5 t. {. K5 { u
" o% L4 x: L% k3 [4 M# Q2 CPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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; x3 N* Y9 D3 KAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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' j# `" l0 j2 A4 aLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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. y9 L: r/ C7 Y- s% v- XThrow wet towel on bed. & l. e# N, t9 ^$ d2 P, @
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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