 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ) |7 Y# x+ n/ f& W" {1 D) g
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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, o5 H- D4 Q; K; q( Z5 xWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ' r" A6 O% F8 |# z: N' C& d3 h4 m
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 8 b. |1 Q' Z6 ]: J$ X! C4 c
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.% |9 U/ |& Q8 i; N) @
8 G/ \ s: c4 xGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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- F! [/ ?" o' PWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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! F( X9 v) v" }4 eCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..& E* |. |: l R/ Y/ o. H3 h
+ x7 U0 I) D l" m- {, bWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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# I: o7 s3 p7 y; r: V, u k- CWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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) K B6 @. F$ V9 ?Rinse conditioner off hair.
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" d7 L' ~1 i0 iShave armpits and legs./ {( y$ V/ X: z+ M+ q8 |
; y& @" |; C; l9 J0 A' C6 gTurn off shower.
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/ {) b5 K2 P, PSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower./ a, n" C8 T$ S. Q: ]* w( F+ A. e
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. . R6 M$ R. Y4 Z; C1 f
7 o1 [/ T+ Z# u% c& C; y; ~Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. % X* m/ L8 X! O" \
1 b4 A& M9 B& F5 ^6 L; t$ jIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: " Z$ P/ w* u) b1 d, R2 W; y
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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$ n; d2 `6 A3 T5 c+ nWalk naked to the bathroom.
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& |/ U$ C: M# \/ i N8 XIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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# O" m( x* f) @' mLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 4 h+ u4 a; j% f/ P1 S% m
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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8 P$ P/ d# U4 L' [3 B, Z; aFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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4 H' k/ i# m5 E8 ?/ E( ~Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. + f8 I1 P5 _9 a8 k) e0 v6 H
3 k2 \, `5 ]3 ^2 y8 l3 PWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 3 D8 ^6 P" _3 \ P& ?
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 5 C4 o; e" e6 z, ^" a1 ~& L
3 _5 o' w% o; K5 h( F# p2 P D$ L1 ]Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 5 b4 h+ g0 F! l
{$ \3 s& s J( t7 u* xAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 3 F0 L! J+ D: k4 G' {8 E5 ~
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 0 }) B6 x4 G$ r
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 5 B5 d4 S, ^, I3 d
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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2 |0 j2 q' X) M* d1 hIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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