 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.0 k Q9 J' e. B9 ]8 j4 b
4 \' F! L1 u V* j7 [Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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) O# ]6 R* K4 P; J% R1 e _If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.$ M# f( X I2 B# L* Q
; b9 T1 d, @: _2 @Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
8 @9 ?! P% U4 [, rmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.. d6 G( M0 {' N B* i' c
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..8 D+ v$ s9 z: {* F
/ y( @- O7 |9 G) |. i* u E. \7 |1 P3 JWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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. X) q# A. X2 h- DWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair., E, v8 L4 B% T0 k
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Shave armpits and legs.( P$ e. a/ V' c) O+ g! e
0 k" q$ a5 P2 B! a4 _Turn off shower.; R v1 p* O; P# A% T( u' V. W
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.+ p9 X8 `! J; o& p1 K8 {2 i; m
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 4 W- v; a7 r# m" j" x
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 0 M# h4 M1 t* m! l4 n$ z
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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8 R- r @0 ]. M. FReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. + T0 M3 R; R/ g" \$ S0 j8 w
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. . T. M f: e7 a+ _
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- r0 e8 E* v2 _- y4 F7 E; RHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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9 t5 M. ^$ @ K% J+ r9 b4 n0 Z4 }/ w, pTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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( {! Z# ^2 l+ TWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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6 s3 u1 C8 A2 l+ B- S6 P3 D- ^+ ELook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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4 n9 }) \. u6 l. L. I: nAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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6 ]2 w* [9 c0 p7 bGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. : @0 w* B, M! s
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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0 B2 e! V- x$ H* X `- Q! QFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 2 I& [4 n$ D! C% o# W0 r o1 p
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. & M+ j4 p$ L7 H9 k8 c3 r! o" B& v
4 _7 L, B2 g) |: R v+ B& N/ DWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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: G J$ D9 |/ F6 ~% Q( g/ ]Pee.
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- T6 J, e5 R/ VRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.! P% J1 D6 d5 ?# ^. g4 H. m
, z$ c; Q; E' \5 VFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. * M; p ?$ i1 r6 F
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ' E# D, e0 B5 p: W7 t8 C9 m \" x/ K. R
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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1 |( ~; C( h3 D6 h. rReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 1 z- V5 N/ P; @8 Z F3 x( n1 f2 N- W
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Throw wet towel on bed. 1 B* _$ C/ F/ W/ [# b8 x
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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