 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 5 B4 k& y2 {9 z2 { C0 I
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, B" b! W6 G2 c+ B1 R* I! f* T( PTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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7 a, {# K- ~& U5 D, N5 @+ Z N6 v9 l7 CLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
2 N% p; X; B" t; t% U" Pmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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) r$ y: t3 P3 z/ q0 D5 jGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 8 ]/ g9 O0 a% A* d* M% e
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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* g$ {5 _6 o1 {Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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: l1 @5 J5 b, L F2 C% XWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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9 c t- ~$ z/ [. }3 l7 \* ^Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.6 ^- h. P* a0 G+ }% B& L1 X$ M( ?
" M | n% X6 N% R9 PShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.8 x! Q9 c: |0 Y; P$ V: ?
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.1 s' D+ [) H% L4 O' C$ b
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 9 W7 Q1 B: S' Q$ ^) H+ j J! A
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. # S( r7 m1 o8 n+ w
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. $ R8 a0 E6 ?& }+ A# y
7 U+ F5 k& l, {* W( o3 h3 \If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. % X) E+ r( Q4 ?& b9 ^' ~$ B
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& R) A+ V' m v) n2 D, a" iHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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4 J7 z4 N. K8 K2 y5 |- |Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 7 L. q3 h! j! u2 B2 G
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. & i* o5 L0 J' p: J, C
/ ^5 I4 d" Y1 e' U8 T$ X% PLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 0 ~+ ]- [4 w- T4 g# x; i" F
9 _2 g) X' V1 b. @/ v; zAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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: K$ {* ]. f; }+ mGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. * m! q) s( z: [: N1 p. p, k
2 W6 v6 W2 `8 ^Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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( d3 L& e" T8 B' O9 PSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 4 d2 E. V' H. @' ?: k! a( B
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ( i8 E. v9 d6 y/ r
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+ s K7 W* d% O" ^Rinse off and get out of shower. ' {0 H- L% v& C2 Z9 o$ T6 M" ?
# c+ x7 j9 G9 C. y' r* Q$ {0 k* B+ hPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 4 o4 q. E' y" ?3 V$ {
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 7 Z. ]3 _: c, F! G0 p F7 |
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 0 N6 a ^' @3 ?/ e
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Throw wet towel on bed. 1 \: k4 M1 T5 ]
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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