 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 0 L* f! X/ H0 @8 [! v2 q+ ]; A
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. % n* _4 o4 j V9 T
7 E; B8 M* R9 J# E& b! aIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.# Y% N: r' L+ t1 @
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- + h$ @) D9 @( U. L# B R! I4 [2 E
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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$ L$ a$ ]" d( xCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. , A& Q" a; p/ f" K
- O( Z; Y0 M- c; n- AWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( x9 j* q" X( U0 u4 m
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.) z3 T: Q. i3 B
0 F: u {4 v; a7 A8 USqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.# t! b8 q6 w# p8 \4 I' N- R
: n7 s) o! _/ R8 Q7 ~ ~. hSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 7 u+ o# f1 W. c- D7 e2 [
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. " K5 |- v7 F) U0 \( I$ p
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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$ ]/ a; \# i" i. ^Walk naked to the bathroom.5 W3 c& Q6 Q3 j! G1 a
- ^( y' h( A8 t3 Z& rIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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/ c" j2 V- Y" @" c/ l4 ?* U2 WLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 6 S' B3 ~$ M, Y- N: A( Z2 d" m
6 h1 n& D' ~8 R4 s9 l4 p6 P6 mAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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6 S5 V8 E& `2 \( ~+ l6 S/ R) A( \& uGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 2 p; s3 S& K# S& i+ o, b) Y4 T' z
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 7 I+ i4 r1 D4 P) F' l% a5 }; P* b r
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. $ H4 m( F* g$ \* D# i
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. G. [+ H7 Z6 }1 d
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Pee.
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; w0 }, x: B3 e, Q% ?$ ^. wRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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# `. y. @5 }* F2 e) tAdmire wiener size in mirror again. # ?- U, p" O9 B% }- K: ?+ Q* i5 u
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. # ?3 W% q( ?- o2 O/ n3 o
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 4 o2 l: N- c+ }1 |+ ~; K' Q6 v) Z
`. f5 j# ~1 B2 y0 P+ SIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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