 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : : V9 n N* u2 v5 S
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.$ Z* C+ F7 s d- k! G% x
, `/ M; F- A# p3 H3 J: [9 nWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ( A7 S$ |, f) u7 b; [
8 O1 z) L' T' Z/ Z' XIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ' X: L& J. \6 j
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.. q- i7 B% L! O+ w: }9 T3 x7 j" K* R
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. # Q4 `! E5 R& C/ a6 d, N! N
( n% m* ]5 O6 {3 }Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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: n4 c; w3 f. W4 BCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..) G: C6 ]. |7 e' S
: f; h/ s& a/ O, `7 |& ~Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ( y- E/ U0 W5 _
+ H/ I3 f* J8 g5 g5 |Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.+ f( z5 ^6 g& g# N. j
8 J2 a2 P$ H0 a& h- @5 xShave armpits and legs.$ J9 }. z* c- y; i6 I5 j/ y2 Z
7 V( z3 X* K) E0 ^3 Q. eTurn off shower.' H' w9 I1 Z# c& O4 M$ a
5 z. F9 |! q) d: ^( q( xSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.* \! M6 p- p7 n8 _) D
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. $ \6 `6 ^1 p) Z: S0 `
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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0 z) r" H# i: I; v2 q' |8 y0 b" yReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * m R6 n! L" `0 m
" `! r* M7 l4 e! p p0 {5 p3 G) C/ sIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: : v, p. P; C- R* ]1 f/ x
( Z8 \# B" g2 f* C1 B+ U* C* ITake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.# l7 R# ~3 E7 \& O9 k
8 N3 ~0 F1 H$ _/ Z* eIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ' Q8 s! T& z" a
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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( G+ W. e) R% O5 h3 cSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ( Y) T1 }- A) V' e* X, D
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ( w* L$ n( h% S8 G5 o' J) t) O
* b' H* D( [8 AWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. , l8 n( O2 h1 ? b6 T+ U) H: C
* t4 J, _/ Z5 v7 C5 L6 rRinse off and get out of shower. + p; I5 C7 i- X8 e
8 y! `( f7 _ B1 H% nPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. $ N, }7 s' b* O* l6 p! X
7 y0 B! n6 v* P3 fAdmire wiener size in mirror again. ' K" @! _& T+ L& Q2 K5 ^8 Q0 V
& v3 X$ L8 @7 k8 |8 G1 LLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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5 U) t; G8 h4 F5 V# f$ v- Y1 ?Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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