 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : & Z# j, v2 k, q& T: m# L
2 m1 I0 E, s# U4 T3 Q. j
! u. x/ a1 E2 ?5 e6 B* y3 b0 l6 G
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 g' F& x- ]- X! l: R1 }; t& g4 ]% E; z1 J
8 U ?! M% H8 k
5 }# s& G) i4 i* g% M9 ^/ o4 `
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
# a/ e/ R, a/ F. I" | d- ^
& @5 _# Y9 |# }" ]Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
/ ]" W' C& [; {+ p& ?1 s6 G
* U% d. i& M" ^ L1 c- GIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.# P3 _" i- n4 c7 t/ r3 _
. [3 [9 z) v6 |
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
6 x+ Z" _- `" |make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc." z/ l% \$ L0 r N0 d& J; T
' u& ~3 y" r: n4 {0 tGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. : K' x( y# `1 M# b' z3 m6 J
7 W( Y6 p1 E4 z- N+ }: r Q; O5 KWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
# E# g4 P. R5 y5 f
$ Q( g( Y( L+ [* CWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
[/ g5 J' h4 N" O7 O3 R% h1 W; V( B3 O' v( N( j) d8 a
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
& ~ G# p* t g- W' h: O6 x0 s
# w8 U' U+ b* P! z! \Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. - K7 \) P3 V4 r$ ^4 [! q" M. p! `
0 _1 K' S2 O9 U* S$ y' p
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. / l8 z6 A$ A) o6 `5 e3 z4 D5 A
/ u9 W5 z2 ~' o+ x* iRinse conditioner off hair.
7 X- i- i) S: _( A, L5 l" u5 e ^9 ?' s2 S
Shave armpits and legs.8 X+ R' V9 m$ p n- j2 ~5 Z) Z
L2 [* {$ |$ J- ~8 K1 q2 _
Turn off shower.4 q; g% ^+ v& v* q0 q/ A
( a; Y% j" p+ J6 nSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.# E! R3 R2 {' A8 A7 |0 N8 a( w0 g; d
2 ?8 I- Q/ K' a9 L: cSpray mold spots with Tilex.
9 l# n0 G* @6 n [1 H6 d& n: b/ T7 N9 B
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
- G% u! u$ Q- ?- Y/ U) ]
S% v. d _6 h- ~0 q# w- o$ ]% gWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 9 C1 I5 J% u# `1 r( z* j& k
0 R+ z1 V+ L a) U! l* {
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. % Z) i; t: c8 f
6 h- ]) @8 @/ C( d2 p8 {If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
' s$ z: b7 `8 b9 F) Q6 i. e! ] Y6 }- M6 j9 E
% P' {" z1 w0 Q% v; @6 PHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
/ w" i- i! }2 w. I& H; U& Z" y* l6 m' ^0 s* l3 p; \" G
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 8 }( D: x! ~2 S% t$ J5 J! A& S
# D1 ], R( c0 G# B2 u) Z+ C
Walk naked to the bathroom.# u: _4 l3 k5 x* N0 U7 n+ x
/ ~0 D" |* l6 [9 d6 {1 P
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 4 ^! u7 I: t5 z2 }
+ o5 N# E# r3 o" s# s. M! sLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
% P9 r7 u0 K1 }4 \3 |9 s6 ^' A$ J0 }0 [; M, d" O$ {
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
( N6 I; M& J$ s& \' H& C' {) C; r6 @
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
0 O6 T. B; V, T0 m9 D( M q' @( i* k2 v) }# t
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
: e) `! h& s" C: M8 Z7 Z+ L/ W1 p* z! C0 `/ I
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ( P2 ?' ~3 [7 d5 d
1 i# r6 U8 ^1 o9 rSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. : ~9 E2 M/ {! |6 [; A8 l
1 ?2 k8 U* W8 y `1 \4 g! W
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
( }6 Y- \3 g. u) Y; e; g& K' K, U' K& ]
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
, u0 Z6 j: o' F; B- B6 ^; L# P( j& T9 v5 W# ^. n
Pee.
1 y, o4 [+ {3 Z4 b+ z0 } [% i; a3 X' w" m7 n7 y+ i0 W9 J
Rinse off and get out of shower. " t7 r# W9 r6 \1 x
3 j' Y- w* P- v' ?1 ]Partially dry off.
8 H2 u! g; _1 h1 ]! X3 I
; h; y* Y& _* `3 X. B4 b' CFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. - P3 t: M9 p2 z I) H5 S
: V2 \3 Y$ z3 P6 k7 r. nAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 2 M8 q/ ~% v7 }7 p5 o3 c8 Q6 Z
2 Y5 ~! G" o: k6 i. f
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
D% s" ?3 P5 b% J; u0 t
6 V7 H- G4 G: f. }' z UReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ; Q2 t$ B5 g8 n; F
' O" ~0 t+ s- Z% i; p& NThrow wet towel on bed. ' v/ x# H9 f5 D
7 Q+ j2 c& |2 L/ ?0 K+ x3 }* J
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|