 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : % ]3 D) @# N3 ]# g ?
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+ N/ x& F+ i% `/ m4 v( ~Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.0 A( |& I3 J2 U; I- }1 x! o* T
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
$ i( j! j8 v0 Y: h! }. G* o& q0 vmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. u* l# o8 _' l$ t: l, |
% \- L; M' l: M, o' S* c0 `Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 6 W1 p) @! D: _9 r" ^# q, u. e* E
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 9 X8 H! C5 F3 @; N, _: \
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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4 W# Y: |/ f$ B" k1 GCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. + |" M& U* \, \' R
; ], V! M/ s! L O8 \% m& _# dWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * b3 S& z* f, Z+ p8 k9 _( C* N
5 w0 G: b5 n% h2 u* R% c2 F" ZRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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* D" m; a5 a7 K4 e/ hSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. : h# B/ ^4 @ A- Z" t
$ V& @/ A! a/ G$ h0 ?$ o1 ^If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. & Q* ]/ K' m$ j2 Z0 v8 t
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ) ?5 _/ ^' S) ^! u
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Walk naked to the bathroom. h: @' I( v8 S1 P" Z
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 5 b5 [. m( J Q; u
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 2 u2 V7 @# E6 m. d: m) W- z
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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5 T- y+ C6 r Y1 D& t2 I+ lBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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( I$ Q r/ |$ _+ uWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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/ g0 E8 w4 a* z7 g3 aWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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2 G8 a8 q/ h% U" c% q: H- `, L U. F+ N cRinse off and get out of shower.
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. Q9 u+ I3 c5 SPartially dry off.9 k+ [# c( R* Z( @$ ~
) A- t' Z' j( v& H8 G* {' t* M- v! `8 HFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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/ M8 ~2 D" E! r$ {8 EAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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+ l; S' v3 _ A1 Z% J# N; yLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. " s7 `5 f9 o$ W. K7 ?$ D( z
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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: B' J" a% H, N/ UThrow wet towel on bed.
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2 z2 `& y$ f% N% P( AIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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