 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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, R, d' K5 i' i3 n6 r( }* MTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& U. E$ c7 o# T0 V8 |; e( W
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. X5 Q$ n: f# i0 Z9 Y' D
. j8 ~/ k7 A6 q% d8 Z* @If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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1 \2 A9 o& M( d' w+ jLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- + |6 r: |. a: }) {' p
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ; Z2 {# F) J) E X. P4 h( Q. |0 \
$ q% |6 O: D5 l0 U5 rWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. * `% _+ ?4 O5 x* L$ R+ b7 |' E" c4 K4 U
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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+ J" r/ ?/ e; o; tWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ( i' y2 a2 Q6 z1 c4 Q/ Z
9 U6 i e/ G4 m0 y/ L) ^3 M! vWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. $ D1 C- N$ q7 D `+ m5 V/ t5 ` V8 [
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Rinse conditioner off hair.5 S6 v" y- \9 f& x9 Q5 e
$ \7 V0 o& s) u6 pShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.& V `2 D' N6 C/ |) H& D
5 Z) Y, l3 L0 G6 f* z4 pSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.! s+ b( Y1 z) }- g0 d4 V- W% O
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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1 J7 L: ]4 h* R1 V1 s8 M/ B4 w `Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. * u6 p% ]7 S* i# g( {
! q& A$ G7 u$ J& F! nWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. + u. u" K( j' {
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: % H! V% X6 M. G5 U
" _1 c% C- B4 G" ]6 T3 {8 bTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 0 I. I$ G& K" T9 S% K
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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! E7 Q# C/ Q/ y" j5 C- R9 W/ UIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. : L% C/ s3 S# |! p4 p. L7 u6 Y" z
9 ?5 A* {% {" v- P5 ]: jLook at your manly physique in the mirror. # V( c2 w, I5 V! s- C+ C
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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" q/ f- }7 L+ x1 g; m F/ bGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ( P/ {0 ?: e; W
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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3 M! f: _# n/ f2 m% z W9 jWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ' m. K! ] |$ P0 `0 n# u1 p
7 @7 X" `: p& oWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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3 p' \3 g+ ~2 uRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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0 M; i% P9 Z9 W1 gFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 1 t7 w; }+ n+ J
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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1 X( n6 f* X0 ALeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. ; h9 u. }7 I9 c5 K& {$ H! j% i1 }
) T. k- f4 d/ F$ j7 P cIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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