 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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" z# h/ H- \- T. CWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 3 V& H8 N: P1 E3 b' v& M6 k
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.+ `, F2 Q0 l. @# J# T8 }( @
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 2 n% A& I' R+ r3 Q6 }
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.6 }0 L3 m+ H3 Z( f2 f- K
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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4 A# r: s8 e6 hWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.3 H. X* c6 M8 W
0 I, y3 v1 F7 s2 XCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ; t) l0 l; o5 `% M$ x) Y
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.1 s) f$ J& j5 C' ^4 O* T
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower./ G1 k. L8 W x: ^
4 X/ N% B; C. s0 F+ rSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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. I& U# }! p/ MGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. , B6 ~ H. Q/ h4 s( ]0 i
8 F4 p) e) x. @ _, O {Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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* o' ]) d# q+ P+ y- { l6 J8 ?If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 0 Q# s, l. n6 X& O, O0 |0 E
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 3 c7 U1 n' K J8 r9 v3 A7 S
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. % [0 U, j5 C% w* D$ A# E( Y
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ) w5 Y$ G! k) p1 x' P
3 e& T: f' A# y, ?Look at your manly physique in the mirror. # E2 X& [8 _+ C& |& _
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 6 m J1 z+ |6 E3 G& @0 v) r! x
, U1 J0 v* P2 x; \Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 3 \- F& r9 n# J4 l
' L9 o# t( B# o |% B0 E- kFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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# [4 L1 M* c H+ _( I( YWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. - J3 J3 M' b" O' ~' `. K; c: [
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Pee.
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5 N3 R D# l8 H4 O4 `7 x0 ORinse off and get out of shower.
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" N3 ]8 W, w2 v, h, S) k3 zPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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0 C' }5 |1 X0 f) \Admire wiener size in mirror again. $ r: ?% y2 v1 R2 D& K
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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: ]( {; f6 U3 N+ t7 XReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 3 P- d7 i! y, b+ O
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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