 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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7 R* j& | w# `! q5 O* Y7 a+ x! xTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.0 b' p9 S! W+ {1 N: }" z; H
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.0 G8 a2 Q2 a7 ]3 H
7 H/ J. B7 K5 L0 f5 x# u: m* CLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
; y( J$ o" d! y& Mmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., e1 _* s* z, P
- H* i4 u9 B' r5 NGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 6 d \) r5 N$ u6 X* F$ @; r
+ _" n( w! B3 cWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ' s$ u9 o8 h5 H, g. H* M" R" _6 H
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..4 N& l. g+ q$ V& V& x/ I
& v, [ C! B$ V4 v% U9 EWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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& Y. J+ Z" W! O: K7 a- ARinse conditioner off hair.. O7 F% u2 ~+ t0 o# q+ q- V
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Shave armpits and legs.
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% v: l" b6 I {! l" ]Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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! Z# C, a- @! M: f/ y9 BSpray mold spots with Tilex. # Z0 t/ B3 m7 v7 o( I9 o
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. : r5 P; K# @5 ^9 L; |8 D- f
& q" q# g3 I3 M/ H$ l1 cWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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: ]0 i4 S% m8 uReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. v1 I5 I$ d0 _, _ \0 `# }7 V$ U. ~
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ' o9 q7 k8 E& x3 l; h e& s
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2 C+ N5 E& E3 x8 FHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: + l" b0 \/ Q" d- X7 O0 D
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 7 F) Q+ s$ f. Z% L! Y3 F
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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) C6 z) T0 O+ K# dIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ) n& b& a. f7 v7 `! q+ y4 |( ~& e
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 8 O& F" q: i: q4 ]
* Y7 `. ?' v& n3 y9 m$ k9 jAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ! M0 m+ P5 ~7 k5 C B
" P9 F% e7 h* r. S4 BBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 5 G( ^1 h6 m$ `3 K& E" {, I
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. + {2 R) X7 f; n& l' u; f/ Y
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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- u2 m# B" ]6 b/ U9 G# h7 v8 KWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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; e/ o ~# v" zWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. & c- G; I0 E$ y
! D% U( z! n9 x4 h9 y. wPee. ; p$ B4 `, I/ e3 K+ H/ `* G
# `! }3 Z1 d+ ?# wRinse off and get out of shower. 4 m5 D, S6 X, E
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Partially dry off.6 c" M% N: r5 K# t0 X& S
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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4 D) l( u( E% E% _0 ELeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. $ R8 R5 X+ f5 O; L( A8 N
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. & d, b0 k+ w/ C) f& w3 ~3 O
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Throw wet towel on bed. S2 Y! C; Q" R( V2 V7 _( s$ i/ e
# A4 F; S$ U2 r# t6 p+ PIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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