 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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* W4 g0 E8 R" @" Y% G8 HWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. , ?5 f' F8 s: Q# Q3 i+ b( y& z
' |% D8 x0 k; g% }If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.9 h- z, O& S- i
: |# I2 f; y' Y# Y; H( wLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
5 u- v0 ^( z& L+ `5 S( W4 Jmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.( _( u! n0 ]+ u
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. . o6 J9 L* U9 f3 _6 p+ z% B' ]
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.5 z5 H' u+ n2 x/ j2 u: Q
4 M+ w; L. L8 L, gCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced... Q8 n( {/ x T1 h C6 V' g
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 5 l3 S1 l' A `- q
+ ]8 G6 g ]$ H5 f$ KWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.' F! s/ }& P- z. T7 Q8 l! g0 h
1 i0 d- O+ d, P% O: rShave armpits and legs.
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% Y; o: H T9 I# C; }& L: VTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.% S4 L/ F+ S* n2 ^& r& ~! d
3 F+ z3 n0 i- Z# l( ZSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. & O$ q% b5 o# n# @+ O8 |! C2 g
) o4 D5 E/ K2 ]7 H4 y9 V* r: E3 iWrap hair in super absorbent towel. & t# Y% h. n% S& o8 ?6 y! `- O+ ]
: T/ C- s! e2 o5 b" y3 T" F4 cReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. . s# L E' U9 a4 j' e$ \' Z2 m
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. / D2 s7 X5 m' z6 ]8 t7 f" I& i5 F
# Y9 I! |7 W; L5 N4 j) i% FWalk naked to the bathroom., W7 q5 X# o3 q& u
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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( V, {: d; z+ I4 u. }Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 4 y* i) M8 P$ L
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. % L7 @9 K% R0 F: i: n
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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& a6 Y' f! G2 m% O tBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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# s3 T& \; s3 V6 e% cFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ; f" l2 m2 S! M! K
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # N9 W1 a, u4 S" Q! S
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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+ b1 d7 x# q2 |5 k1 PPartially dry off.
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1 K; p+ l. v% O7 m. l6 G" XFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. , A1 @" ]5 x# R
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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7 [7 s0 U2 X5 k5 Q5 i$ F; kLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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% g5 D4 Y3 X3 e3 h1 bReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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& n' d9 ]$ z' G! Q# W# h$ y/ lThrow wet towel on bed. # Q( M: v# A! j) r( W- L& C2 F: D* V
( S' x% ^2 L# ?/ W4 ]% S4 bIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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