 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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) u+ v2 | o$ ], i9 w8 JTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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" y. G1 K3 k6 E7 F7 q) v& Y6 DIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.0 k6 O" O% v) `1 r
3 P+ x( i$ O2 [: s( mLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
9 z# j0 O) M+ G8 L: J+ amake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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. N& j2 R9 ? H5 g" V. gGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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: `6 D7 t4 V$ H8 G3 d4 l9 c. OWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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3 |3 N7 @& e, G* Q% WWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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' d. r' U e7 t- }6 yCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..- \9 S* o) t' W N# c
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8 C/ Z) X5 [( l' w* n
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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/ S0 U; _1 W+ `* r: f2 PRinse conditioner off hair.' z& j; Q% u2 Q0 G. T0 b
/ r4 c8 ?# D# RShave armpits and legs.7 O, D) z$ X5 ~3 `- r, S7 c# C
- F F4 ], ~5 Q1 i/ N0 [Turn off shower.) | Y% K( G9 l& K1 I( s7 O6 [" C1 d
3 c( ?: V, \. a# m$ F7 mSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ; {8 w: `1 v3 B$ K' O: e
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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* o" w3 F$ |2 |Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ( f4 F$ J2 B7 k7 b5 }4 k) F
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. + G# [4 U! L( N9 U* \- r0 g
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. - I. g0 l6 y; e- B7 P* c# ` X
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" @3 b R5 R; @, A' Y( P& P" vHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: * O* S, N, K/ r/ t! @% t# V# t- a9 Z+ _
, ?$ m) s% i6 [& h: n* QTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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* e& @$ L5 @$ N7 z; pWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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: j' K% _ z2 ILook at your manly physique in the mirror. / j3 I0 h" e' U6 J; U9 C2 ?4 l
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ' J; O7 \7 C) r# C
5 T7 V( I3 X7 U# }Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. - r6 b) I. C/ A4 p4 B( ~
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 2 i( D. q6 c; Y6 Z, I* w
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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/ I! ~- \1 B5 q' C1 j1 l& n# nWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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0 W7 `" f' g( j- }6 R2 L" NWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. * p* } v& U, i: C9 q: i6 G
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Pee.
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/ h, V+ K2 D/ {$ b& dRinse off and get out of shower. 7 d& j" f( R+ e3 Q4 a
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 3 s- x0 O$ P5 x- x# Z$ L
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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( m+ k+ O. w, e' s& x: cLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 3 X' R3 d: n3 ?4 _0 h6 u# W% Y
6 ]1 }+ p' c( k0 r iReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. - F8 i, ]% v$ {! f! R! }
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Throw wet towel on bed. 3 L. r1 R$ \0 q7 ?
' T! Y# t \8 r% Z5 nIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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