 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ; O* l) Q2 ]9 L Q: A, Q
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2 b5 d% ]* f% H; b8 V/ OTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.$ V9 ~3 U: @& S. \# d
^! A% [1 C# e. _Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. * H; k* m9 S# x% o
% N7 M0 Q% Y9 v4 ]If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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( g* b: y- A1 `1 C# z1 TLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
/ n6 U5 J* [, Ymake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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4 B/ s& ?& t$ u7 c: [5 I# g$ p3 aGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. . a' P: z# y, R9 J. v# D
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. : o: s3 Q, u# K* h
# [- _; `1 L, f; C4 tWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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4 t$ S& I$ N* `+ z( _* ~* F; Y8 SCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; k! D8 L# \4 I) O, y; A' y
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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+ l, o& Q* U" b1 C3 ?$ URinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.. N% G% E/ i1 [/ M, h, _& s0 _( r
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.9 X. }# ]+ T4 E
& U! V) k" y! I5 wSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 0 f! R5 ^7 z2 }
: R* l9 T6 K' G$ qWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 3 b3 ^6 ~4 ?* x" e8 ~- r
3 c: A- v( v; T, W5 _Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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# e3 R1 R+ J) u* X& ^' VIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. * q: y9 I2 b# ?) w3 _
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 9 \8 Y' a4 t3 A& ^2 S
( R) H# E8 ^$ O) j/ iTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.1 m' S5 s* t" |
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. * D3 @ M+ Q5 `; {
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. + K: d9 J* p5 j) c( ~1 i) R$ J. t s
% O; y* ]! A- |( h3 fGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. % n4 r3 _8 d! I5 P8 `0 P+ [
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. : l" O# h; U' N* H8 o. Z
1 a3 ~& b" |2 R! w1 KFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. $ o0 p# d t' w: W" d
- o" K8 ^, i KWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 2 H3 X8 B8 X4 _9 h, m2 T4 |
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 5 V4 }/ B l0 g0 \- m2 G: ~( ]
7 m0 Z7 z s8 Q) M CPartially dry off.& i" R7 w$ @2 W2 C1 Z/ r, }0 a
1 @# g# ]. K2 i8 O# cFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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! ^& j( i- u. ]& I. N( b5 wAdmire wiener size in mirror again. & @. M# S6 g5 C
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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# M: R: x, }! j) sReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 6 {: S. Z; S O5 l ~' Q
) c; e# y4 w; T6 qThrow wet towel on bed. / N% c) n( E1 S3 e k3 u9 ]- Z5 z p
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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