 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
% u8 Q% q) g6 F; ^) T2 F$ Z- U3 X( [" F J* S' b/ Q) Z* n% I
+ ~) l W1 O: [0 Y; O, M--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- j5 u2 p5 l7 n9 |" L
; q$ P: S! R3 v" G" x, Y# s# q h! g5 C6 U& t( x+ y4 u
& r, i2 y$ L7 ]4 u8 ^Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
7 R7 I7 u: b$ v5 K4 V
/ ~6 {# x' }0 D9 YWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ) D. y1 `& K+ d' \* N# k3 L
2 k5 M$ u* S6 n" d- L6 c" w2 `If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.' n3 `( u; E; O+ o; Y
5 W( ]8 `& l- _- JLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ' a) C3 M) [8 z( b
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
9 i" n) N& W$ d9 F1 C" B: K4 `, y# w1 \5 V( b
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. $ I4 O" D+ A. o- }# q8 E* n3 v
- n& a) v/ a S1 D- W: nWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
5 r% w9 d7 h' \& U* J; S! r9 O2 @' g6 [6 k1 |& I% _3 e- n! Y
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
+ D2 ~4 m5 e0 b- V
5 K' r# J. r5 fCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..% Y$ }0 _( C' E7 f+ C/ r" o
{2 T2 G7 @- c% D/ V" vWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ; s: F {/ Q* ~% u# W
* R. x2 ?% m" J/ d) {3 D; }Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
p& m( l$ K# d7 h# O+ U! M& i4 B' n8 Z I; p4 a' e
Rinse conditioner off hair.
% R. {$ c1 ~0 v* k8 a. M3 [ J
4 L6 h0 M ~/ W1 k, j) ]+ ~/ QShave armpits and legs.: f9 a. F7 i. a9 n4 M
- Z" J; x( }1 Y2 jTurn off shower.
* P) ^+ f; `; t' M8 ~
8 r5 ?0 Z3 b6 ]2 J8 S/ _& xSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
/ F. ?. b- v/ S& |/ I1 H2 m7 h( l: K
Spray mold spots with Tilex. + e' W& U9 |9 ^
' g* n9 b4 Z" F( X& `$ S+ m k
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
1 G6 L3 }, o7 I& c2 R# {* i1 }# n. c, v; E
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
1 d2 t3 N( i1 d& l9 b. l* ? w+ H3 i/ f4 k% U
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
7 R" j1 Q9 s6 [/ m2 Q* ~
& m- Y5 X: O `# ]; {% GIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
; p9 H% |2 O/ D$ ^$ m; q& a/ @! h. h
2 a+ x( {* W" n4 S) [HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 6 s' k9 i: l% h; T6 l1 i
: @% |3 r$ z) y! p! d9 D
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ! X8 i- I8 F+ s' f
5 z3 f1 _! Z2 U* ]* u! ]- O
Walk naked to the bathroom.
& V4 w% S y6 ^9 x* F$ d* ?& {
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
. I' C, ^1 w0 D4 ?' T# i, Y! t! \
) X# t0 A0 ]1 {% o5 L0 D; c# E( lLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
. S1 Y2 z1 c4 w5 b, o
) H) i0 |7 Y1 L4 S$ v' h6 SAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
; ]/ Q! ]. w& ]) \) x4 I I8 z# Y" `, q4 W5 y* O9 {
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. # l5 n( i( Z6 h# O! Q
6 H( H% X! e6 p9 f1 ~. h4 U
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. # Y) j5 E; c4 @# o' ^/ Z9 {
, Y" c) m* ~! S3 e% ~
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
. ~, W0 W* H+ F5 M9 G* j. B+ ^0 H: ~9 K7 A2 X5 ^: ^5 [
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. * j2 q z% s& _ X1 j4 C. C
. V9 U* a3 T, u$ I, T. c h o0 H
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # b- B" X! M, i+ t1 m
7 t9 {% G6 I- B1 K' Z2 C" j
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
9 d# [% i. r6 w4 z
% ~7 y: p- c2 h: t% OPee. ' c9 Y0 d8 a& G* I
& w ]0 m; \8 e" ARinse off and get out of shower.
: x, z& A2 i7 p. c5 n' q* b7 |. F; }, N4 S6 L
Partially dry off.
5 f [3 M; ]" y( D; Q7 l
: @: N8 `( t9 @# k4 g( bFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
7 I$ t- `' y; \ Z% R" u! H+ P3 i% L; S4 ~
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
4 w/ e, E9 E- q/ `: }) e) |; J% N: d
' }% n! w' L& Y0 H9 rLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 8 }7 i9 K9 d3 m; N/ e4 }
2 u8 y$ v. O9 j9 x6 _4 YReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. # Y* E* `; U# {+ c. Z
4 e! t/ C1 R) v7 y
Throw wet towel on bed.
& e0 `* i! B+ c D6 p J7 Z6 d) ~, Z6 O: _2 y
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|