 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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8 D: M8 d, t6 iTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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+ Q/ \5 i' A& V; PWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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1 Z1 \9 @$ O2 X7 ]Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
8 g2 R% B, x) T6 o) k1 Zmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.5 c6 X: M" e7 i7 H4 a |" l7 i
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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# y" G+ Y& J. V& X! t7 w9 QWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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# ?5 O* j& m. ^1 w4 U8 R& p% iWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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X' _- x9 [! Q; |6 TCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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+ S% n6 m1 A+ UWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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; j( V( A' I7 q2 f; x; CRinse conditioner off hair.: q) l+ t/ n) H+ R# z, h' G/ [0 z0 }
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Shave armpits and legs.
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2 M. w# j; B1 k% c1 kTurn off shower.# M9 G* U" W4 J9 y: T" z; s. ]
5 |5 D; R* c* j' ?Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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; d& o# J; V: F2 K# c, eSpray mold spots with Tilex. % h4 Y D1 Y* I2 C
M+ R" I, z) V1 iGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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& B# O" `, X' H4 }& tWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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! Y# D4 B: }1 L2 sReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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; n& ` T2 R! M6 }7 y* T( ?& o( k6 DHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: + d" v V+ g4 M
/ F/ L+ Y# `7 pTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ) R+ _$ F/ D3 x _5 `1 B
7 n0 \& o' T, m! |5 v* cWalk naked to the bathroom.7 g% r1 z H2 H, g$ n5 k: D
0 s8 k" l, l+ G1 P2 hIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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$ P% y R {2 Z; _, w% h1 w3 x4 LLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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* v- Y: z7 a" D- e/ nAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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9 ?: a% i+ R, fGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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" W, w% M" P" j/ w) x8 b/ u3 FSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. % ?$ r, z, u8 j# t
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. / Q( D; x1 j4 {* h- `* F# x0 ]
+ }* ~, b+ l4 c; B( HWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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4 D0 d. ]9 z1 gPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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( {9 V( y+ y2 ^ ?% q ePartially dry off.. Q9 T+ }& ]1 D B8 d, [
) w$ {4 S2 S! X7 \- p, ]Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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! n3 ] d1 P& \1 dAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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# ?$ g" {$ j* mLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. & ~! j J+ K; X6 a6 R; F% I
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Throw wet towel on bed. - P! y2 G R9 p f) m4 K2 N
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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