 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
' U4 ^; ^- W2 k+ e+ Q5 k, ~* a+ A) M; _8 U5 U4 s' z; v6 E
( `/ ?. Q3 B& r% R4 l \3 \
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------" {3 T9 d. Y2 Q7 F$ A [! \6 U
; b, q& J- {, H4 ~5 f! L
/ a0 ]2 p U) C1 M0 r$ ]
7 w8 @0 M0 H) CTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& F& i7 M" [4 x4 ?5 N$ y% [# F3 i
% k/ y! l+ D3 `" J+ Y
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + O7 m) n: R0 t3 ]* y3 u3 v) a
$ S- d4 y6 z6 _. H: c$ l+ cIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.4 ^0 Q Z* J3 P( m6 K
$ Q, e( ~& b6 U* v- g7 B2 Z5 @Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
0 ^& K( ^; i4 r& r$ I6 T# Tmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.& a* v U; U2 F0 F* x. p$ k
6 V) X( z" `! ?) X$ `$ a f% {
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ! j+ Z! I+ u4 b ~) z- o+ U
( T+ U( ]! T+ S0 U
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
. v, a' g! P8 O( ^4 C% j, N. M8 A& h) a" v4 Q
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean./ x: \+ S, z8 H1 c2 m1 d( L
0 ]; e: L5 V4 s
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
. P X; i( p" e: D9 O9 f, X) V2 J! i* L+ y
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 5 p* q7 o( K9 O
0 f" M; ], D* V" N* l! |( ~
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. % S9 J( H5 ~5 c6 I" J0 _
7 O4 j1 a* a9 l: Y& aRinse conditioner off hair.: L* i8 W. `, W& C& b9 b" S2 K
7 n- ]* F( Y! v* hShave armpits and legs.9 w# H. j" Q) f% r
1 A5 i5 f( x( F& S* y. ^' @9 t
Turn off shower.
+ l; p8 p8 h9 B# h! G6 f- K. m. |2 y" y8 ^! ~
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
- F' o5 ~: Q. P! F) l# v: V$ G8 \, y& w; }
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
C9 U; ^* m' J6 M+ N1 x6 b# R6 Y$ |" ~7 `
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. $ |6 _- S* W5 n0 L
* B7 |* K, ]7 m/ j: s
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 1 a- ^2 {' X& r3 [/ |; B
+ Q% g3 ^ E0 L$ {0 H
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. / ]! f$ h8 O p7 S0 [+ x5 a. |
0 c; U* f& ~2 x# ~1 V0 d' @If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ( d+ L5 G, Z# H. L4 G, K
( l2 g& P) [$ o. b" h! Y
& C+ h0 J6 V- J- |9 \HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: & r# m1 U* ]2 a2 l" |# W( K
0 w$ t; i7 K! R# X5 V' n+ PTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
- X6 |! p# M, \- W) _, x9 O; H5 x& A/ M% l3 [% z) u. Q9 Q
Walk naked to the bathroom.
# j2 y# X3 W% x8 T+ P6 W* v, I/ y, n# d% v
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
& f3 |+ s- b9 c) \8 t' a+ @+ j3 H8 H4 M" r3 A# w. w- z- @2 {
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. , ^* H1 ?5 j, k, r
+ E3 e/ d S' E/ y* ^. ^Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 7 ]9 N* a# }4 j5 o6 d x4 h
* q: V; p* C B& W7 H1 mGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + F0 z2 s8 @3 t) T2 ]* m, K
+ \* @# l4 n7 m. T. \- ^
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. / N6 o" Y/ M4 a! ]% C8 P, P
0 b8 m! d: o( e I* u# BFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
9 U' ~2 E6 H% t9 C7 H( ]+ o4 A# J) q. c- B& c+ j* }$ R
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 5 j1 ^2 _, X# Y6 q: p
3 k% `# b4 S' p& o( oWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
; g7 k) l/ [( ^$ U+ Q8 @
1 `6 `! n/ l# ]1 f- V) @, K3 ^Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
' [1 j6 L8 B. q& D" N! e) T) V8 m5 [" t
Pee. 6 A) n; G2 Q; y$ D
- S- s; }! O' b* i3 x& K s
Rinse off and get out of shower.
2 _; F3 d. V- o1 c9 L3 a1 n4 t+ l4 F: H% i
Partially dry off.; V( Y2 S+ N1 P- W- u
, \" G; G2 T" Z& A8 v4 q
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 5 |+ ~2 ?" V: P. x% I" `2 F
. K1 G5 v0 i- E2 rAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
5 j' u% z3 J/ ~* A/ v; s8 U
2 Y0 b2 l/ R- g/ X( vLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
6 Y; J3 K2 P: x6 A
: ?: h8 H8 f: Z& l! `+ j# jReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. : r0 A$ J( ?5 ]# O; m1 y
0 s8 a0 m6 L( C W6 l- c$ z
Throw wet towel on bed. 7 o$ T# O$ V; O) ?8 ]( n% e3 h
$ d J) F: w% ]! \+ ]" ^3 B* H
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|