 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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" z8 G/ c- L. r' FTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& W( J4 ]: s5 p9 e; }4 A5 @
' e/ q* G4 v$ EWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 8 `3 I T% C' q# J/ K
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 O" x: V4 C8 f0 G
1 [/ n2 P: L+ R& w5 DGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 2 U0 s# r2 Y& H0 M( F( M
+ K( K" v) ^5 y: LWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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2 I& F% A7 A& T1 Q6 _ ^Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 6 Q& V0 N" e1 c/ d o7 |
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Rinse conditioner off hair., U3 q: `( B6 Q c
" {, k- v' p; R: b& qShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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! z& G0 O: H- L5 m* n7 ISqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.; V$ y3 F& R6 h, m5 c- u
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. $ f! O k: V2 u* M
- Y, \6 v: t8 H, m: j- XWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ) P5 R/ K* A& B8 K
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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) r! Z5 W( _( Z4 pHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: * `* m$ _7 i6 ~3 f$ \& L8 N
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. # h, K+ l% J0 u7 D$ \
4 J- v$ T# i, a2 C9 n+ T; c/ Z1 xWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. b) Y" ?; U$ V- X* X0 u
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. - C: A* ]& @! _ k% u" }' a
# \- l$ Y3 X# h jAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. . [, {* o2 ^ \5 l% v! x$ F0 L5 K
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 1 S6 ]5 _# I" Z8 n- L8 F
: f% u$ z7 J. v9 W/ h# c% i" a# JBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ]2 x" C/ m2 e* T+ i. p/ C% g
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. # o9 b/ y4 K& Y
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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+ k6 \: E+ j4 M- @3 E% X% q1 EWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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9 v7 X% k7 D# AWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. ) O# j) d9 ]* Y5 `
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Partially dry off.9 R; b0 J1 h9 B2 R
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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2 }3 E% |0 V/ N7 ]Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ! T# j8 g) D9 R4 o6 }
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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