 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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3 [ o& }: }+ ~8 y: x' T- NTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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1 E6 x9 X K5 V; t2 }% v8 WWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + R* y6 O# q$ s6 U$ @9 P" C' @) o
( v$ w' u8 ~+ z- u# p, h& a9 \# B5 HIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.+ s1 N% F4 B$ E `) U; e
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- n D) g, v. @2 u
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.$ _; w6 T$ x+ ]5 m4 |" P" B6 h
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 0 r# e" |; S0 t1 N! `/ Z
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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% b. H* B0 [+ C( G' O' S0 l/ bWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.9 a( m: j9 X; T. }2 X2 L7 y! S
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ) y! u& l/ h# a. @/ `
0 K0 H* C: {$ W* AWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ! {+ f- \. Q8 U( `3 a1 h5 V* M
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.9 s( [( c' a {' N
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.! t2 I) o9 d- O, s7 o! B% j7 T
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 5 g. ^3 j% y4 I0 h
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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$ f' D" ?, ^: [$ E+ k0 }Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. + v6 G0 z& n: \- c6 m" w
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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% Q& u+ u- n% T) d2 [If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. / a. n" z+ T6 ]. w: l; ]( q# ?0 x3 ]
2 t/ D! W O- {4 o4 z* EWalk naked to the bathroom.4 z; ~& H7 V# d0 {
$ P+ ~. T$ ~( U& U, D! IIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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5 O# [' S* i" D- k2 {+ vLook at your manly physique in the mirror. ; Z2 I- z" R& Y6 s# \
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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, [- d. \2 H; F/ G: eGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. . T8 h W4 p1 S% r h
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. . @3 A7 P& w$ r. P; c% B' {$ N
; e# F) }; M' TSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 3 x7 u2 {& L- f( T9 w) \$ t
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. & i' w7 L* f w
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. + n6 S2 a- _1 ^& Y- q# ]
Z3 p0 m, j' K4 wPee.
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0 G. j/ j4 N; Z, |; W4 {3 HRinse off and get out of shower. 5 r/ L; k: a6 M* Y) B3 R: V7 `
* ]# }; ?6 p3 s S3 tPartially dry off.% r r8 N' l2 {2 y
; A5 n# r S: s" Q. Q2 ]Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. / @) x3 D4 h2 Q) m, ]2 j8 c) Z
8 Y0 _; o, O2 p" ^! U J$ tAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ' K$ r/ r! J f" f: c: M7 [0 [1 J
) t* ~- P$ @* _* k+ iReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ( X1 z: W$ }$ Y5 v
( U4 G( P: s! J+ h- iThrow wet towel on bed. : H! S2 j$ d0 j3 ~
# q3 [( S( K" m8 MIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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