 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
/ C) w8 u8 w9 a! ~
+ z3 r, r, A; |6 I3 R( o5 T$ Y3 j4 n$ ]1 X6 o$ z
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
' ~, D1 ^# @! D& H0 p9 {% k
- o+ g) I6 K0 L( D1 N7 f0 d3 j. C3 Y/ B& ^. j
5 ]6 d9 d* P( p) t* ~. \+ ^
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
1 y" h: }1 r7 n7 E. }- J
5 ?( m# L! _6 \- I+ N5 i2 m% vWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 7 l4 t, h3 B b, P: b
n0 M! @) E: p2 p! Y/ YIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.4 `6 _1 B* i& W
* r$ t8 a5 U5 f0 v* t
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # A) r* ?5 f' l( l7 B
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.0 r# Y4 `- m2 p7 m
0 |2 a7 [6 N* f
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
! s, y; i5 e6 k2 H: {/ f2 {3 L5 U7 r' y; p( w' I( w' e+ u% U
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ' I8 V6 C F: }; d% n
a3 C7 r$ q9 s2 t1 z8 K& [9 i
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.9 i% S* X% S/ |* J/ u
0 ~; Q ` m( u% F# s6 J7 U7 R" g
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; u7 z; X8 H' _6 M- o
4 i" ]8 {8 W; Y# |3 Z* A
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9 w+ J) L3 v( |1 @1 V7 A
+ X# k/ B* c; H' z" X
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
1 T s" K+ \' s1 Z* k' [; q8 B
2 h2 R/ a; K1 n2 Y# cRinse conditioner off hair.
$ U, ]2 {6 m8 L& x: q6 e! Y% C- j
Shave armpits and legs.
) Y5 w9 b. d/ K E
$ z/ [0 ~3 r d& h9 L" wTurn off shower.0 E) {1 X6 u$ K* D
9 x0 u6 a* J6 ^' @& K6 WSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
2 K5 @/ o( |0 D, X# ?9 R7 }4 K9 R
9 ]$ @4 E6 |; P+ ]5 N3 Z9 K6 MSpray mold spots with Tilex. % m$ W) _. z8 X# B8 {
( Q# Y) q# `3 k8 V5 h' E3 p Q
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. # m; D J5 {& B: y: v$ k2 D2 v. ~7 |
, i) I0 I D( _& F8 I' n# Y2 H; }Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. * ^8 h( |5 x7 A& k( G: z- M
7 w- N& K, J6 N) I1 y; Y1 XReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
7 [: K* H) j+ ]+ w* N6 p5 p, z' v" P
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 8 X1 P7 T3 J3 h; G5 {6 W! H
- L% R, C0 Y+ G! M6 T$ q% {: L: h5 Z) U) W. V4 I: U
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
3 Z3 T8 E) f6 k) j) I1 R; Z9 G# P3 V4 c. B
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 1 v- {9 d5 @; C/ z5 S
" p, |7 F8 C( T3 {/ o4 _- p- F. L+ {
Walk naked to the bathroom.& p& T0 M% i. y0 u
7 |7 p( }& J5 [( wIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 3 V$ t) f0 w. K1 w! B3 C- Z
" p4 }; _- ?# ^4 e7 d. k- l
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. & v. }1 k" N% M5 m. J( Z
! E! J' L/ G2 b- I
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
# H, y( p( F$ I# X& Y, J4 c/ r: c8 F# B$ A
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ( ^& H! G- [8 M* @( P
& r8 Z# y/ p0 {( {0 T# A6 K
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
# M) N6 T% w$ @1 M' X& d/ Y; r7 f- V2 i) K& J4 W. Y
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. * V0 Z8 Y/ `# a7 n2 F) W
! e8 K% x0 X, V* }- ?) h0 c* ^8 S
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. * p$ i* a' z# f9 F/ H ?
4 k7 l% Y+ D4 i0 }6 x+ QWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
8 {+ S# N3 Q/ `. h; n: i
6 ^; o0 z! U- E; sWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
. N2 S; q5 A8 ^- C7 |* ^
, b, Q; P4 ~7 G, UPee. 9 D9 c: y, _. h, {4 k; i* _$ E
2 D5 h. u( ?4 } K
Rinse off and get out of shower. % G( q: U& x2 z a# O
( M/ G3 k) i' ?/ v3 r* k! I8 vPartially dry off." b2 D& @2 x% J
4 ?0 j& f$ C6 j; [8 G. n5 z9 g7 Y
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. % K+ ?' v% g& l% T. p
1 A8 U! X) @9 o: {Admire wiener size in mirror again. $ M% \2 x$ E5 A: \$ D
: [5 R0 L% [4 ]4 }4 d3 g6 |8 k
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ! Z7 r* D! Y' g' [4 G
# f! ?$ n6 }& l( ~" u- Q/ gReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. / t# M6 O* }, B4 z0 ]* V9 N
1 n. r& C& W! _3 E2 F/ nThrow wet towel on bed. * ~$ X9 R4 t% J1 t
, k' k* ~# x+ b8 F2 w. n+ ?If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|