 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 3 M8 d# d7 J" R; D4 L5 D' g% B
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.0 C+ z. a; Z5 o) X D, o; g" s
+ o# b% M3 E4 M% qWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ! I1 Q( e9 W! ~
% W; i* |! Z% _If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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, n3 G9 W9 F' A* D+ G5 c) n9 N; J" h, f6 f* rLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
, \+ E$ r( W% U9 r6 S" | Emake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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; C/ }9 I- E. tGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. . L9 T1 u" t( M* D( ?8 Z
# {8 H! V* o1 l+ WWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 2 }4 c& s7 Q$ Z; I. o
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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# K ?, Y# S* E7 ~: _8 e k* UWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 7 T% N* d, N2 A5 G9 ^) |- t6 Q
7 v; F/ W% P' j" T& x% n# \, {; e* ]Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. $ U6 }/ E5 f5 m6 }! J
3 @7 ~$ J9 t7 T V% {/ yRinse conditioner off hair.4 \- m8 X7 r7 @6 q+ o( X
2 A" R8 k8 F% c3 FShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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! L7 e9 p& T7 c5 VSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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! \4 e: B& E z+ }5 n4 SSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ; K3 j2 P; |- V' S: z5 a
7 y% x8 a' ?' A! RWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. . T% v+ F2 @6 o( e
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 8 s4 J4 p6 @8 S
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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- F, ]# v7 l" NTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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5 p2 L; k: {' z" tWalk naked to the bathroom.& |5 f. g; L& [, T% k" F
& ?# C9 ^+ q" c& T" v% m6 w4 E" o: SIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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9 d# P) O2 i$ A+ ~: _& iLook at your manly physique in the mirror. * B$ M4 ?( `. ^, B7 x
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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6 W) Y/ M- N$ K- @Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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' ?6 K5 r6 C) N( IBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. - o- o8 D0 q: G& h- ~
) w" Y. Q2 ?+ l6 t# @3 I5 mSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. : l5 F8 ^$ A* m
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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6 F" i; i8 ^; nWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. # J: x7 A; r: _9 l% @! A8 U& y! @
: [0 D- F4 E9 C3 K* h/ s, e* iPee. # o& w% r! Q- \3 m
: H% c1 U! n4 e# ARinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.1 w0 g5 O1 {+ |$ x
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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; k- a* q, |2 Z2 P! J3 F2 ^8 ?Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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. Z0 M, a5 D' h7 o% Z- e- _0 MReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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# I& w8 q0 O% C5 W9 n3 IIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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