 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 8 H- W9 C5 w" A" P& D# P
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u! s6 {7 X7 \Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 0 `" b+ a# [0 Q+ U$ @
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.) N( x" v5 @0 E9 m, V3 H U
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- $ p7 U" n* O$ y* [9 I9 \
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 9 ?- k7 q6 l" V+ H8 r
. @- K9 a0 D" f+ JWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 0 U" C0 e _" }3 W% z
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.4 z5 A1 |5 U( b' n
! z8 G, M, k5 }. G7 } aShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.$ F7 u+ w/ c+ ^" J1 u
; P9 n U, T S O* ~8 CSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.& [9 N4 A# h- ^3 y
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 5 k/ H9 |! Q3 O" s* M: B8 Z
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. & R o0 ?- }/ {# K4 b
* d! s8 ~+ L8 H2 }Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 7 h3 g: D# ]* c0 |7 B% S
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8 F, A r& g' ^HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: / H$ }) M# B7 B( w$ L) p; p
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 1 J6 z4 A% { c. D0 i7 o
' h7 e8 I A' }" ]Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 0 [6 _" g) |. x ~. Z$ Z7 s% t! m0 c
0 @& \& `% l" O) r, sAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ( k" B% U8 W: F) Y0 F) |7 m
% ]" ]( u: e) f( W) }Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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+ w; c- d6 x* L+ ~Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ' Y! R$ u, m4 U% \
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. . f( g! }8 S. F4 `3 P
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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) x, S# Z) X0 O$ k' x7 sPartially dry off.8 p3 p: ]5 d' M' s) w4 n
) I. U& d0 l1 n1 B0 t0 t+ KFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. % a; n1 X8 q" g& `& p# t# k
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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$ b$ ] H+ J G; H6 O9 ~* z1 XLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; Z' [& {7 U; k; b+ I3 e) e
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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0 l0 I% a2 }7 j" b( NThrow wet towel on bed.
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E8 N } M% d+ ~$ _" e* ]0 tIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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