 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ) b4 a- O: Y, z, s
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0 c, d) [/ }* A6 R: S x0 M4 [( ZTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.. i$ p/ g! _3 ]2 O/ V
, A" B8 u7 I4 Z! J9 @6 D! n* P( d+ BWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + c( k, C: w) |
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.4 `7 n3 g6 u5 _- y
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- $ G; \6 [7 Z) |- c* Z, {! @
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.8 ^; i4 p7 x3 ~0 f+ z9 P- @1 W
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 2 e( b4 ` y# `) u; D, @ g
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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?: Y6 k$ Z- r8 o+ N% t# l! QCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..4 U- \; D) Z( P1 E1 H* d/ J
+ Q! v, _) D' R4 j% [Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. " [/ T& _6 v/ w7 S2 w' a, L
5 M) e M4 |9 x) A0 WWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 1 ?4 ^$ v6 P$ g8 T+ V& f* o9 \
6 @$ d1 n+ k( N7 @5 MRinse conditioner off hair.
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+ b8 j3 L" N# P3 @# I I4 A4 yShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower./ K' y7 ~4 x( b
8 x5 E4 {8 y0 [Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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' R( t9 y0 D& s) V* cGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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3 j! U! {9 ]& T. [$ x' TWrap hair in super absorbent towel. . t* J i& s/ Y# F9 ? r* M
' p1 x5 q$ S8 H6 b4 d, x# u1 aReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: : w! Y# N, p* A) _
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ! A9 h$ E k- ^" o* X& Q% m- t: e
+ o' l* S3 f0 O8 ]+ g9 IWalk naked to the bathroom.; @+ g- A' t+ C" c
6 B- x5 O3 ]+ w$ e& vIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. . d9 g; |0 n0 C- Q9 h0 F
7 i. `) a0 A6 C4 @0 ZLook at your manly physique in the mirror. ( y% e2 P2 X+ e1 J2 o' g8 R7 b
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ) c+ f4 d. I9 X
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ! P1 x$ T; q; x) y) c# W3 h# F
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 4 q) v( t0 k$ p1 `8 \
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 4 m+ \& \0 b3 @; c
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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C6 b) `9 R7 a' QWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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4 P3 x% C4 s% z- K: P3 UPee.
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4 C# ~5 \# {: q3 s( u `, D/ O# kRinse off and get out of shower. ) R; X1 u$ p$ J( @: {% ^+ n: B
, A# J4 i* d7 X5 p: F1 HPartially dry off.; _" D* V0 r& G+ t
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. " Z4 }* L$ d2 e& |, G0 T& s% o
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 2 s/ H7 p0 T, ^2 |/ p
h% L# J4 `6 v+ `# X3 G+ I# fLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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8 s+ a* Y0 _$ m7 N3 q8 kIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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