 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : , v, j( i& w. }1 g
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 7 L( B0 m* s0 e+ X; f9 z" u2 L
, V" X% D6 V- |. z/ tIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.' ?+ a2 D! z- @% X
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
K5 E( x% {* J- ]make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.& x k: v$ Z7 a% v4 j
' S* G* O( x. `; @Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. # Z, q" R4 m0 w, }- Q% S# y; D
1 t( E# l- _7 [& [Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.8 \* _6 z* _* H& k T! U, e. l
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; ]9 T4 M$ h' v% t4 R
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 0 q( e& O% Z! M% K) D5 l9 y
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( l& A# b8 ?3 M8 s* s3 o
: {; P6 q( R- C5 y$ K9 ZRinse conditioner off hair.% H3 t" G( z# B6 @! |2 C% V( ]
1 L1 K0 z4 L. B6 t$ O+ T% bShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower." w. ~ Z E4 J
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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V# a* @1 i! T2 p0 r/ M! eSpray mold spots with Tilex. & ?) K6 L" K" ^) {. v
7 G4 I5 x! g+ F2 P. ZGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ^" E0 i8 u8 v1 j+ K& C6 d. j
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. % K; n# C w3 L3 ]( O6 b
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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' X2 r4 O+ e6 KHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 6 g$ a7 p v1 O
( b! R; n% k- wTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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8 c1 W' s6 j# s! {9 ?Walk naked to the bathroom.' A" I& R- l+ Z( H. B) R
0 U1 U! f7 \: r3 kIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ; [# b d& Q) s- A' u: b
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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E9 p g! ?# P8 z6 c) {+ K/ J% {Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ( v5 `1 E/ b; Z# ~; {) g2 P9 y: _* n
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 6 Q4 I5 N4 P) i7 n8 V# i T: @$ U
. a& W% D! a& _3 j- LSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ( ?- ^8 W! ^. S; Y& v7 S. T
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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. p, b/ A& I7 v$ eWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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4 Y! S/ w: K: y4 o" R& N$ aPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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4 [# J/ a6 q0 B3 b5 e2 H, [! xPartially dry off.
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2 X# _# F, T; {& M1 S" eFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. / z6 O* R1 K: |2 F3 j9 o T
6 c/ @4 h. g3 N- ?3 l8 Y8 LLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. % i) t( O; u% R$ T
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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; e% V" H9 Z8 @Throw wet towel on bed.
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7 \2 v6 k* T% U+ { l, E$ VIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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