 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 9 c" T Z' h' H
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) N- h6 T0 S4 T( V1 Q% yTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( K& s& f- q5 M) v w% Y
# ]) l, ?5 ~/ x; Q- rWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. , h8 j5 [% f( {9 k1 }
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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# |/ P8 o P* r& F/ c% ELook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
( Q" }2 F2 T3 Jmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.+ \* u! Z# M3 _3 G( U
+ B; {2 l4 ?1 Q/ Y9 n& EGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 7 [% i7 W. N2 n' F0 T. x( |' J2 q
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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1 @( s* M6 F& c. zWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..0 F; `) t) G, n8 Q# c6 s
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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V( R6 l6 C2 l! _" \ u$ G/ Y) lRinse conditioner off hair.3 {7 ?' _& l( k& y. E' v1 L
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Shave armpits and legs.4 G$ s* H( N! U# Y
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Turn off shower.
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- f& s0 R9 B$ I$ Z+ @) C8 R7 TSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.3 N' I1 [3 T; ]" e
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 8 d I, W+ p) U) ~5 i, G
3 s& A, z6 E9 ] H6 c2 ]9 ]Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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# R/ w3 x1 w: z# z& EWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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# _( z3 y$ h' Z0 [Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 2 { S u7 z+ C j) B6 E% [6 ?9 h
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 9 A0 W5 m* X' Q$ k4 d; W( r9 D
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5 `& ]! ~; T0 X2 H. d8 kHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: & D1 s0 i. L" t2 U6 h
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. " l* s' s4 b! y4 r8 P9 t/ F
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Walk naked to the bathroom., i' }) J$ Z1 Q4 X' Y2 T% p
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. * k4 G5 X7 L: l+ p* ?" {( r
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 5 o( f: f% _+ E- Q9 p* ^9 v- m
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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: |, p$ `" l( y1 z; i4 I+ a- ~0 H. G% kGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 3 `) G. Y q8 D3 x1 M" C
2 e& x! m6 ?4 A x2 d: hBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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. ?/ b+ j# G& p7 s9 ?! V8 DFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ' h! H4 ~5 _: {7 i2 _
6 E, U* m9 S; [Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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' c$ o& T5 ]3 R% vWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ! [% X, E! s5 b& I( j
# ?3 x2 e. D8 ^9 rWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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, a: P) h$ ]. G( W) _6 D1 | {/ ^Rinse off and get out of shower.
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! Q: S: k* K) M: P3 g) I v/ _! pPartially dry off." r! d1 [5 }5 g# t* Y' [
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 2 L$ B. `- q0 H$ j6 s
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 0 d' V! ]0 c) O% R* w/ B8 x% G
) V4 z7 F& G$ y% x0 [Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 1 H1 n% N8 o5 c/ X* L k
- C3 `# }, L/ @5 FThrow wet towel on bed. ' i# W5 N3 v1 X
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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