 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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$ @0 u% Z. ~1 w. \5 A1 VTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& }4 C1 J" u. q
- n# O2 h" h% xWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. / ?6 k1 s5 Y6 _# m% m% Q
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.7 B3 M$ ]6 \) m; o" X! c% b
- e( V5 e' ~+ VLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
0 X2 `. X# \' a. Rmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.; a$ e, b; r& ~0 w
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.2 W ?$ l. |5 P. j
0 M4 n4 {' `8 C3 {7 hCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..& X2 M `) h1 R4 S1 O2 l( r
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 4 E- j1 b6 R$ N( F" e' C
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * r; p( m5 r, A$ o; X4 G
0 d+ Q* x7 W' n' j* A: A1 ]( C/ XRinse conditioner off hair.
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X: o4 y- b4 x% z% GShave armpits and legs.: s3 } D! o0 r3 |7 f2 [
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Turn off shower.' U( O" _7 ]3 G# A/ b; C6 w2 J: }$ R" B
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.9 A; S) e6 ^: b p2 Y, z4 w4 r4 d
" d4 t* T' h0 L5 F% R2 LSpray mold spots with Tilex. 7 H/ ]; h7 M( p, r% T
+ a- g: A' V5 Z# CGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ' k' `9 _' F! _8 M, J' K
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 7 ?% E& G* K4 X
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 ]) X, h+ L3 u: g$ u4 n! o. u
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Walk naked to the bathroom.6 m" r3 a7 |. ]4 \8 G% T" K
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. " K, i; s) W- y. Z
" F* c, ?& v0 @: ]8 B- x( X7 {Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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. h. _5 _! W8 P! a3 l1 s& E) p0 zBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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% s# K4 m0 M! }1 X# }! V) y3 N! nFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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/ y5 @ J7 ^# v1 s: PWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. % G! k- ]; }' q8 g7 [! `
: s" l* a# b8 K" e& X; V* jWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. O; Y& R" I% d }7 }0 `
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. # D' z6 h1 \$ ~ K
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; z9 K2 t5 Y# ^3 B) z
. T, s: i' S J, X3 y* _3 QReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 5 D: A- p! q3 g2 U
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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