 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : % U& @" \ u4 F& k
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 8 `) s* h0 T6 f
$ G2 Z/ R) U- ~( dIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.$ B& r/ A) g4 y+ ?# ~1 Q/ z
8 H2 Q4 `/ g* @! f/ BLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- , K9 _0 I" Q% C8 S1 Y
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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H C; e5 b% } mGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean., s5 k6 J- s: p0 Q# Q: g1 ~( Q _
; c/ f% N1 q! f, H* gCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. " t/ j% N2 C+ k3 o
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. $ q4 k$ D# p5 t: |- E% k8 [$ w
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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# T+ O& G0 Y2 w, uShave armpits and legs.! M8 f3 V9 Z: Y! ~8 }
8 m/ H3 c$ t1 I2 G: o1 I3 `& aTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.5 q6 k( {. M3 F0 j Y8 k1 C. S! ~
6 G- ], n7 Y2 t! ?- d% J& [* tSpray mold spots with Tilex. % A' Z4 F0 p( F0 h p: k3 b
: b! I2 ]$ g4 B/ {/ r1 uGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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2 i) [6 g! y! k3 {2 ?Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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6 x' k9 ]2 J4 }1 VIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 4 M$ D# H2 Z# u0 p+ u
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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9 y- r9 D! E" u) k. ~( Q9 p0 QWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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. x8 G9 z5 U/ v4 f B( @Look at your manly physique in the mirror. . ^1 Z! l3 P& {5 {* N
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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6 c5 D, C; \9 \Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. " B2 W. u4 P3 _$ F
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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. `+ v0 G' o3 V! ~9 lWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ) i2 {; ~( ]- @! U3 [1 y
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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0 `' I( {' a2 x C( yPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. ; n+ F& V# O! q6 h
. G. ?% y- k: l) @0 dPartially dry off.% ~) D. C0 Z" C
1 S1 G1 ^! Z9 ]& q% lFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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+ U' B, d9 B/ g6 ^6 @/ ?% N; ]Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 7 N2 l, M5 H* q# h5 Q0 f6 R
B/ X( B+ A) cReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 7 k: `2 t# w6 M2 _: ]+ w
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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