 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : / h2 r3 }! g& y4 K; f, V# r+ Y
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0 Y& g- @+ _3 E' h1 y' hTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( o2 v& a( t. b a+ o6 h" ]
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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7 y2 W1 A* v8 x' b# _+ BIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.# K! ~! Q4 c2 B' q7 y( t
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
4 U4 S3 u0 [; B% V3 t. m# U- fmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. # t3 [6 Q& F; q0 P1 m. S
: x: t% W) j' m* I1 gWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 5 v* S6 ?' N ]; q
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.( Y& |/ p$ w0 r8 a8 D7 [9 k6 h# k6 [
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. $ e4 K/ N7 L( f
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. . T6 E& [# E& m* z
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Rinse conditioner off hair.$ S" |( C$ o O$ e4 w: u8 `$ R& u
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Shave armpits and legs.
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" s; H: b2 G8 pTurn off shower. d3 @/ X6 m8 x% m4 Q' V
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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% a# m3 R$ A( |+ }& bSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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0 I5 S8 C: ^) t. T1 l( aGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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* A$ e- D& L8 e0 I, v/ fReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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( y' n! n0 w* ^+ sIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. " j4 R& A: ~6 q6 O6 N& d- t
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5 w3 N+ Q( C0 P! i0 lHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: : \! |( p: @0 ?6 ?
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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: z2 e# \: T6 f; h4 c4 \- u2 |4 }Walk naked to the bathroom.
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6 k1 [% u! P& [0 yIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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6 R+ b( }; V" ZAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 2 Z, \& `4 ?/ I( A" h7 M5 H9 y
' F- i; W7 o6 M4 C5 ]/ vGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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6 n l1 R& a4 B* B- UBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. * X. K, Y' X) A$ P6 C7 Y
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 9 s+ i# y4 d/ d
. A7 O: Z) b( O, oWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 0 i4 O' Y/ H+ ]% d, z" c3 l
9 N6 F5 B6 r: tWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ) F* S, N9 o2 B' D9 Y, u/ \. g
& T3 x3 Q& c/ p, b9 `) H$ R. ^Pee. + i+ @0 z5 `+ B, J5 a3 {
' S, N+ L: w- a9 ]- x- PRinse off and get out of shower. : _) i5 h* w, C9 ]2 w5 M
1 f S5 N# G3 }1 D0 {Partially dry off.9 `1 ?/ R) S6 F2 d
1 Z3 x, a2 J j& q$ OFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. $ n) ~+ \6 _1 p! r
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. , T7 [6 g' Z- O" j1 }% k% h
1 k. B/ O# u8 C$ S1 Y7 h2 zReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. O0 s9 T2 ?/ | B5 d
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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) S; s; I6 v. [4 c9 D& bIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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