 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.# J1 U/ K+ G: \+ _. v" v
/ E6 M) D& C4 t, m8 G" ^" c r/ PWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. : k7 O! a4 l# e+ F
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
# d" e% E9 M4 W( E- V5 Amake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. % i# D2 A; M7 F- H
* R: y& c1 P6 J1 {: O! tWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ; B7 Y. D. V5 O J& c- J
% S$ O5 { Q, A, {9 gWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.1 c& }4 B) Z* H1 a& V. H. s5 l
" Y. K, A4 ?3 h7 O3 U! U8 BCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 1 @$ |) ]4 ~% }6 o0 d; \
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. m% V$ z+ k( P$ t
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.2 W1 M% x/ Y I/ x0 F
H( E" c) ^- L/ sTurn off shower.5 ]. H0 I! q, s
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. u _& m6 T; ^' @9 o
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. " }7 j( Z( b% K
8 x! P) f# O3 ^- |Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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) r" Y" \1 a" F+ B% [9 G: J% @Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. / F- d& J! S I; u( K
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. , {) T, }3 n) d: Y; U9 L& x2 g! g
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ( y r5 k7 U: z5 h% y) q; F2 ^- L
6 |# Y" W) A p/ s3 I" yTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.# u6 Z# y/ j1 o
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. - g5 X0 Z4 `, R
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 7 Q" p; i" g0 m( \7 w
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. + o$ _. A4 N. y8 n. ?4 O
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. z r0 e0 T- O. Q2 Z/ U7 z
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. . j9 x. \ Q& Q; t# g' n( ~% N. _7 B- }" d
& m5 _8 c8 {4 i1 FSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 T7 D+ b$ r% p4 g+ c
8 O$ L }% e( K; kWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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2 ~1 V5 z S4 o# ?/ u* FWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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1 |. T% W/ P8 ^& C; i$ hPee. 4 b4 X" C% o0 g" @8 y5 F
, x4 r5 x2 H. i) T- Q" ARinse off and get out of shower.
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6 W4 b }( \! \5 ^+ U, C9 a; O4 IPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 3 r: N( C5 L' _+ U3 Z; B$ u. }: V
4 ]" W2 y- A' m ^) B9 NAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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3 E( D2 Z- D1 g& I$ E" JLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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! d* e" z: i3 ^) }Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 7 i) Q F2 v* d: p- O" w& w2 T2 s
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Throw wet towel on bed. ( |% |$ B; {0 N% \/ E$ i
8 u% n5 Q6 K8 Z1 S, dIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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