 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 4 D, x2 _& \% [6 N' `+ i i
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. ?; d, V+ E/ lTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& g; J* Y" q, u' N2 `. O7 E
. ~7 S: V1 G+ g( o4 n$ D cWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ( F# ]0 Z2 q1 J
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ( w% R- {) L9 h, p- L2 c
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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, P. C, a3 {! }8 w/ VGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ! @, o1 p9 x7 B O5 ?/ z
- z7 d/ B/ B$ }3 U; V5 f& YWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 0 J& H: i- ^# v7 t( y2 W u9 y* [
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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1 E0 B! S) h# v* L! R* I5 ]Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..( H- }7 [. }. v$ O) B
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 6 g8 M: ^( Y3 C1 x
0 c; o" t' F1 W4 g7 RWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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. j* ~* O: e2 M( s5 Z+ LRinse conditioner off hair.' W4 H4 u4 }3 O2 W2 G X8 p
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Shave armpits and legs.
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$ ]: j1 t% I T8 x2 A! l% LTurn off shower.( q7 ]! D! x5 K* O
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.9 w* t( m0 U! C
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 6 O4 j' I- v# G' Y
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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/ a) r! S9 S [; J' [" A3 HReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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. _9 J- n6 G p4 ~If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. % T& w$ x9 [& g
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom. B* t7 _$ D7 B" x/ H% N
, v( B* z. M8 p5 e% f9 NIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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4 T+ v5 [ G4 ^9 l% s0 DLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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5 U8 W* i' |0 G% }' nAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. . O* ]1 y) J* ^ I9 G
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. + r2 a! N, r; s
+ ?0 _- V0 }( ]( G/ BFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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" h8 [/ @5 f7 `. j& T9 w6 RWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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, C# v( u4 F' L* l9 Z# {Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. . E" J1 v! e' H; H5 I0 ~( `0 Y8 F
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Pee.
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$ I$ ~- J; K$ w" lRinse off and get out of shower. 7 v% G% `* _* E. _8 s' }) I" `5 V+ v
% L0 Y c# Z5 [% _: ~& k3 p1 K% dPartially dry off.: G7 l/ g8 }' O, D+ y5 i
( ?5 I/ {! E! i, |, hFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. : y0 Y& N4 L- z+ ]: |1 U5 D
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. : `' S2 _6 V" I" Q
4 m6 K) s/ ]; ALeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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( c) s# ?; ] c; ~ | ]0 YThrow wet towel on bed. , P: a/ s6 D1 ^ H+ o6 B
# N$ H/ X2 C: j& TIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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