 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 1 K0 f$ k& [; H/ f8 q
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 1 r7 l) r. g' a( H
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # A4 t5 [0 m1 M
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.! r) P* d- W* ?+ @# A
# x; \& N1 j5 R3 h* V; p: GGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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5 S8 f ?- Q. L# jWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. * v- n0 U8 y! v4 g% e& _9 q9 w( j3 U
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.! O( k- o3 U7 j2 a! J) w3 h
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..* N( X K+ z; b. x7 D& v% f2 P* A
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ) \. T; k, p! E& \
: e. @* C" f% T6 T" |& FWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 r8 L. a6 F( M) E) Y
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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) _, ]4 T" ~6 V# p( D- rShave armpits and legs. H% R x( `( q5 s3 d/ `
R6 C9 @+ j5 b5 b9 m kTurn off shower.) E6 d1 f: B8 U
% [2 G% p5 X j9 mSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.) A* v2 y9 R" m2 M
4 p4 t) B2 ~5 OSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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d/ N& R z5 BReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. + v5 B8 {5 T% [# \
+ o2 b9 u+ v) u, dIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ) q; N# i1 X( _! U+ N
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' Z; |- d/ O5 k. g* F, N! W+ w$ ?HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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% t& P, K, w+ aTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.7 h: ?7 B+ z- ^% q; i
& }( C: d" s4 Q$ a" _1 t2 ^& HIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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! h/ a5 f9 x# bLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. # e: f4 c! W: l; O# \, ?
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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8 g# L/ r7 H; c% \' |- }, ]9 GFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ; ^+ `2 f* {4 W+ p+ A. b% H9 G
5 Z3 ]$ ?! e6 M' t" [Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. - |5 g! G6 R+ _% x
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ; ?) j5 @! e% R: Y$ t
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ) C/ ], G0 y; K: X
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Pee. ! C+ Q" D, h6 t! ~9 T7 i2 ?! R
6 B8 O7 H ]) E# Y- \+ } ?- oRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.! w. V2 e) B: e
+ e! {8 I h' v! V- e- sFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. $ }% |% S8 g* _. Z
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 2 s# y T3 q: R: a' R5 i9 u! W/ P9 H
6 O. x- _' Y1 K- T; gReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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