 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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. b4 n) K0 \" D& h0 o. KTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. / Y% k& t' @' q1 c) E2 a" b8 Z' g
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.5 Q" R% ~6 u5 L* a9 G6 |
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
5 U4 @8 ?. J& g. s6 rmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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. `: ~, r$ V I" Q2 zGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * x6 w2 w! G0 ~3 h1 O) s
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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7 ~9 {+ C/ H: x* `6 ^Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..* y) m$ g5 m1 s6 [
2 [% U, j% Q) _( ?. ~3 o, iWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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' ~8 p% s8 P9 _! qWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ) v5 z2 Y% {1 p. r3 ~" O# z$ @
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Rinse conditioner off hair.9 Y2 m4 V7 Y8 m. G& p' K3 K# G9 w
7 Z# _ Z: Z; g' `1 `& mShave armpits and legs.: a1 I1 b+ k1 H
: I. I' d: l+ N# i' Z4 Z( Y0 XTurn off shower./ o" x7 D+ g( Y) a. I) |2 |9 D' \) ~
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.. i6 G) K9 @, k' T% w' \
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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: ?4 U# ]8 A) V% t7 Z: _9 r {Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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5 U! A9 V) L3 _& C9 a. IReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. : v! ?: `+ `: Q y! T7 t& s2 B
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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& N1 @6 N5 I+ p3 T" oHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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$ \* C' K) _& O& y8 ^) z( vTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.% I; W+ _- {. v' Y$ n- L
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 4 ?) {) B6 ~4 } O
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. & D' L+ q$ J, T$ b. g/ d l$ w
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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) F7 ?, t6 o/ h" l. {Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 9 B0 _- {) J5 W( j( o9 W
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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% {9 @# v% b4 K W: fFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 4 {! @9 h3 P& X3 ^1 h5 J* w7 {# ]
% v' n/ C2 ?5 G; [$ j4 O6 H. CSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. , W' @% r( T* ^) Q# n4 U
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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6 s2 f! ~! v0 MWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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# C- t5 j( {1 k# ~; ePartially dry off.5 k$ e) o' \' h. W) m9 S
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 5 ]3 S" U0 ?- t* U U( E. H9 E3 B
5 @% z2 k5 d. zAdmire wiener size in mirror again. ; u- V( \- o/ E& ~: K
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 0 O7 d; i0 t, f5 d( S3 D" F
' Y& p* q" U' NThrow wet towel on bed.
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2 ~- t# O5 T9 i- M/ tIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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