 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : & X* k& F" n1 _' r
3 v2 V$ Z |* T* u" j5 n
; [. x# v+ B8 A& c$ W% V3 w, E+ \& L--------------------------------------------------------------------------------/ N+ D* D. W, ?& T4 e" g5 U& s
6 {* g* E( s: \
1 Z9 X T, V5 z/ P
1 U: p& Q! m; z% I- k' \Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.: ^$ n4 F7 y7 p5 v% i' Z0 Q
) {2 X. a; t1 KWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 7 [. R8 Q; B" b3 a; q) Q2 P5 p
- v6 A/ W- I' P2 DIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas., ?. L3 I$ e* b2 p# ?0 z
3 o3 t( V3 ^% I; o% p7 f, n/ x
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- , Z: n% A& l/ d
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.( v. S! O3 l0 l# S7 y, B. h# o$ W
. ` v5 {- s% I6 N; F0 k) B" @
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
. I+ m0 `' x- t7 P2 X0 P* M$ P+ C# u( p* w8 {* ~4 P
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 2 `% m8 g% @9 z: v% p
) ^0 O$ l* J( `
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.- C- V6 Q4 \( q9 _, M
- r+ V; V: R8 t- ICondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..' [2 u8 q. P; |' U
/ g! y# R4 n6 [ b8 j+ O DWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
~: D/ o: b0 l7 E
2 A% ]! g( I! {3 j% m) ~; DWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. - x$ j# Y3 x2 ]# e& |% H
' X+ Y. t+ j/ lRinse conditioner off hair.
: W4 r0 ]1 a7 z& `9 x' [; w/ m ]8 P6 F" L
Shave armpits and legs.$ y. y: j) c( n7 k7 d
! R5 U- Z7 b3 j$ G4 Y9 q7 Y% {; I9 d
Turn off shower.
5 R8 K/ O5 P' x8 E: H5 ] ^2 i- Z3 K _
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
" e- @: I! @8 \' ~9 {0 f
, y' E3 i+ I7 f3 A; W" g% o. `Spray mold spots with Tilex. ) E4 o2 c( q& t
! B! y6 U$ Z) T+ Q( D( CGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ; l4 H. |, W# v+ r j
& f/ @4 V ^" l, LWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 1 d( v0 N, f7 v3 ?7 R
( R) V8 @6 d5 `
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 9 _4 M0 R1 U9 W
$ h" `6 c- r+ O% e
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ( K; E* `, K. K& K( k3 e/ s
$ O/ z7 L3 b2 r# L
" p$ W% n& w, WHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
: N0 h# ]2 k2 l# Z* e. H1 L! t+ G1 h3 Z# G: }+ H9 ^- p5 d
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
4 E, E' M: Q9 p, s8 ~
; E" C/ t/ i' ?3 kWalk naked to the bathroom.
. N* T/ c2 Q2 e- j+ R: J1 W ]# Y4 _
) j6 m, Q( G! ^. LIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
- M) [$ Q) x7 @
6 J, {+ D7 {2 NLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
# \" Q) }$ O2 `! i( O% h; g
+ B# f. e; U9 f& B9 T8 K7 oAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
$ Z# ~0 I: t5 T3 T# O
* P0 R, U+ d- E. p: u3 NGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
$ a% M/ ^; ^, F0 b! ^' e
/ b$ |* u3 k- J! ^1 A: t/ WBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 2 {' S7 T1 O$ y
^( Z S8 Z( v) N9 Z
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
. S/ h; k- j7 I) Y
- j% i8 d5 E2 o8 HSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
2 L* E6 Z% a W9 _4 e4 X A
$ f/ K4 B2 v4 MWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. , j4 ~3 o& ~9 h5 v+ V- l- O
8 @; }) {& \+ A# CWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 5 T' e$ h' a$ U" H c/ j; J8 J3 h
& v4 G! {- @: GPee. 4 d. p2 y, p9 t) {$ y) W8 U) B
$ K; P s' o$ o# ?: P
Rinse off and get out of shower.
" ~4 e% x" n6 _) Q
. a) S8 p' l+ h$ A9 C* V& aPartially dry off.3 ~8 z+ Q3 c n B( S! k
8 p3 W$ f! R& w" j
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
2 F6 d5 w/ j/ Z2 w: C ~% s$ Y6 c- }) w7 D
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
+ [5 O! V# B* G. F' E7 x6 i) {) U6 w! h/ ~- I& b; M
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ( P" q3 Y, h) o: ~- a
8 [- D) _: |5 }7 [Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. % F. y0 A3 k' V- c4 M' ]( l z V/ F
+ V& G- k- D- s$ K
Throw wet towel on bed.
7 N7 m" ?% W' X6 b
5 X, {# }2 x. V" T3 FIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
