 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
6 c# B6 U2 k% v; M
) O: J$ u T( ] j* V% M) J; u4 q
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
+ `5 r- [$ l( N6 M* O8 c
- _4 ]- R0 h9 u3 J+ H: R
; L: C7 b, p& u
- D" i. V( Z/ O8 d8 d: VTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
+ ?0 E' x0 N" u4 V1 o4 l0 C8 p+ G; q4 ~3 [0 h8 O
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
/ P) {7 f( G7 \8 L5 r9 r* M4 }+ L- J- U1 C2 w
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.0 c, H* g$ g" V6 h: N
; @+ y: p4 c1 ~ x7 p3 u2 j/ Q @ OLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
* X* F9 ?9 a8 V7 pmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
, W/ F0 }% ~6 v; q
4 U6 M$ x' b5 k* S, FGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
6 @ Q1 o4 l+ ~% ]+ J
7 Q0 _# d. N2 W' BWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
8 R' P$ ^8 [. {, q& g1 ^+ a8 Z) ^1 ^' Y! f
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
2 Y0 p+ I; j3 e: W8 @) ]9 ^) ~7 z# x1 Y$ R+ q
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced../ X; z$ V' \4 x+ v7 S
; a& m7 }$ }7 c& j. w, V* sWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
+ W! }/ m$ g$ |& ~
2 b0 C: S* v b- [. @+ BWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ; |! [, m+ S5 e& `
! n/ v4 Y9 S* \+ Q- @Rinse conditioner off hair.
% X/ b& O* b( n9 W+ K7 L
, b, J' q4 V+ _1 U9 v: ~Shave armpits and legs.( x; C0 n2 [0 X: l- l4 Z7 }, ^
}% C$ G2 m& m- S( @Turn off shower.
) F! b: \2 N# G9 B, ?; y) x1 w1 i# {. X, s
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.8 x& Z$ e& X$ H( |2 j- M
' \% Z5 O5 `. P9 ^- BSpray mold spots with Tilex. % `+ R3 v; j! P- w; a" T/ }
" D: [+ X- z1 Q2 h% d8 c8 H
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 6 S! J/ O( N% \1 j4 `9 B7 [
$ J" `- p5 m# m$ u* k
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. - s: E" A' _( A, J- L- q
7 B9 m' {: j% f( k" tReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ; v. h+ ?! t# O" ?
/ D1 W4 C9 ]% m- ?
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. . V6 v5 v: T( g) x! n
) R! B) v3 h* F: V7 Y+ |5 \7 i7 f
* Z) S+ A8 |8 Y: X. ~HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: * h# K" ?( ~5 ^% w
* M% Z' Y; m% ?! \/ t ?0 D8 B$ q
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ( E0 t4 e! h# p3 X9 l
' |9 N# |/ l2 B8 O+ N* i' b
Walk naked to the bathroom.
$ Q3 T q2 i1 v! h$ c p" A! c' Q+ _( D5 _
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 3 o& H( O8 w, b/ ^( _0 x
; k5 Z# d" x9 l+ p5 |& T4 E
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
6 A# z- _1 J4 D- b. O0 V# i5 @6 J9 @: [5 e7 W( M- c0 J4 s
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
8 V& S% W$ n+ r9 e. o, N: p! x, S4 z
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 9 }( S4 G& Q5 Z' d" {! V+ z
4 `( |% I! o) u' g( y* O
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
# V% F: f5 H4 o5 p
2 `; z2 V3 Z% r+ K# m- |' }Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. * G. K& d3 n; ~: g' P
2 A& X: H6 N! v! S P2 v
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
3 X& L0 L" K; n. |% L5 m& p3 Y0 k& r
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
/ w. B. W: m2 x8 q/ }7 O" a% o' Q
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 8 k4 y! B1 w* ^! m
( C/ K7 Y9 ?5 Y% J. O2 T# E! uPee. ( C+ J8 N$ `& U" i* B; F7 S
! z* j$ V$ V" r" S, J
Rinse off and get out of shower. 1 U, d) ]: f1 J U% Z
3 J% k# \$ t) H* W
Partially dry off.
8 A" Z1 O# R. d2 w. I" \ r: z6 j
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. , {8 e& ^ p" ?2 c% I; L0 H% M' V
5 n1 |; A) Y* G" s h7 e9 e4 q
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
, c! x( P+ C5 U( j1 H$ @0 ?9 F, A, |3 |' ?( ?' D% k6 z. H
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 4 C7 L* M* ~! G; Q. `# t
0 V1 }1 S! h( ?. B. `Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 3 P( p( W' h" R! L, s
8 ^7 B# v1 P4 a% Z$ {
Throw wet towel on bed. ( O/ \& P, K+ w. o( l
0 F( V6 z3 G6 X' [
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|