 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : : G( \& o5 ^+ q& d" L6 X
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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F- L7 c8 W# \Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
, o6 r P+ V- i8 S6 g& X) Cmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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8 S5 }- c( g+ X! UWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ( g; o- I8 N4 B/ ], r0 q' |0 H
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.9 u5 a5 U% h$ R! i7 R
" h, r* S; }+ B- B! hCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..8 K0 B1 K Y$ P) [# |! m
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. . }2 k7 n/ }+ D
! m0 B' m- Y) K3 `( [Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ' ~* @( f. U- B3 l4 O* ?6 j
7 L, c, b3 T8 TRinse conditioner off hair.
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. z: F% e" a5 C8 @ dShave armpits and legs.
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3 v; ?6 ]% R2 ^; N9 o5 qTurn off shower.
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/ s+ H' s5 t4 p+ a0 l eSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.2 u% g* Q I, y: s# b7 O
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. * H% Z: V7 T- x- t
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. / ~7 i$ d; _- }( v
: r. }( k8 V j: n @Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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3 v% W6 ^) V$ e8 w @' o* }" A, IIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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' Q0 s& y6 B7 e! ?6 y- M/ ^! jHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 4 \/ @8 ?7 o7 F$ `% B
% \! Y1 |. l* x+ N, E! X2 ZTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ) n$ k+ @9 |& o4 v9 o
+ a# ]0 I5 x# G+ g7 g5 p, MWalk naked to the bathroom.
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1 A2 j! g7 W6 Z+ J4 U% jIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 1 M+ z, \/ v% i3 }2 m2 H
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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2 c2 }9 n1 D- j7 Q1 N& F( @) PGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. * d' C) ~8 E: t4 ^/ V6 |* `$ b' v
6 N v9 ^/ x5 o3 Q7 WFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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1 k e0 F7 S) o/ rWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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4 g$ A8 W, ?6 Q* {" S5 MPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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9 R! u4 ?" Z3 K5 C8 jPartially dry off.
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8 F7 }- u8 E u0 ZFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 6 F, ^* t7 A' F% B. |- D4 J9 p
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 4 Y! O3 o4 I+ E: h
7 ~$ @) C1 R5 f h( dReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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3 B- ^4 }- Z; F4 t8 B/ TThrow wet towel on bed. + f/ T% V7 z( L7 Q0 r1 B- Y
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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