 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.' h& `& h8 T4 {+ m/ E$ v, y
+ W) ]* V( v- F# G fWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. \, C" R# x4 e# O I; v. b4 g x
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.& e; A" i- S3 W- b+ U" y2 R
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
; S& _9 R3 ~) r: h: dmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., O5 g7 \+ Q( N3 l, N/ o
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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- @8 \7 r* s7 V4 C/ [, GWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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; b s! L: D, w, a, XWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..- d4 o/ B) f6 r/ M7 U. m* G4 H
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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& I) M O; e, |# m! fWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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- l9 z6 N+ N% j; ?( m3 rRinse conditioner off hair.( O) q# U1 S; [; n2 @
# H2 u s" _2 @( H9 ~& XShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.% |% C& g7 h# m
4 |4 g; g+ [* B) D9 `0 m1 gSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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5 d: E8 t$ d- T) V2 l1 @6 OSpray mold spots with Tilex. 6 a# t: c) i: e% e4 e+ ^# \6 Y
5 l+ V( n0 q, z* f5 X1 P/ k& EGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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5 W% D$ W* P IWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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8 x1 D( n9 T3 \If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ) j- w: G/ e& D v# M1 O. k
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2 \" A$ ?' g* Y# G: bHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 0 ]# F& l O0 P8 x, F% U% k: y% X0 O
$ L6 `6 K( \3 S" n% `/ OTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. # v, q% Z5 Y7 {0 ~3 U
8 K) r" S, [/ WWalk naked to the bathroom.
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' j" P8 y1 s; J9 \: V% ^; NIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. , B* R+ N; S( W# y/ G$ ]2 l
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 3 M) z: q" ^# A+ ^5 M
3 p6 n3 G, x0 c: qAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 6 }5 B0 C2 ^4 e$ z1 n
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 4 ^3 ]+ `3 N6 B" y
3 M, n, b* q u' v7 A) |, y0 mBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. " r3 X" f" }' }
! b# d P/ F& ` }+ `- MFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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$ ~9 s6 x4 U% d6 Y9 r$ JSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. % ~7 L" D+ Q# a m
! f5 r/ o7 Z. K. F+ U D4 `Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # ~8 p7 g' }. i" P" i3 E Z
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.9 V. W0 O2 M: g3 l6 ]
; t8 Y; y; L% v) d+ h' Y" b# x. R2 XFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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1 [! {4 v% k4 hAdmire wiener size in mirror again. & i( [3 S) M# t7 B
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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9 ]- u* `: n, k/ `Throw wet towel on bed.
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% w2 L, Y! w( j& y& e6 iIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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