 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 0 D k3 r) i+ D, _2 e' Q# q3 P
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! Y+ W k& v2 p! @( aTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.9 F5 X& N2 O/ M% K6 p- Z4 h0 ?
/ l I+ |' Y7 H0 [2 Q& rWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. $ }: Q5 ]$ U1 @! s T y! ~ F! R
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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1 ]9 c3 {3 D9 C* TLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
% a0 ~" F7 @% S% \8 Q2 b2 D% B+ _make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. . b4 z* Y% W0 x1 M
}# O0 H$ B# u) yWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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: c& m9 D6 Y3 }* D! ^' W0 gWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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* P. Z1 y: ~& b+ g2 k" p+ XCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..3 {" h2 r/ u6 S
+ Y: \4 p1 M# M7 H0 UWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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$ D. |2 \( m# d a9 D$ kWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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K3 Q" G+ x& X: ~Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower. @, [ O4 ^% ?* y% k$ P4 f
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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& M# X: m v4 {# ^Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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+ F' G2 `9 s. D8 P8 e \ gGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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- f2 K1 C! N }Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 7 N/ V8 W8 O1 t0 ~
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. " N0 Q- x3 `! B
; S2 s# c5 W/ t# C% DIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ) g/ o/ W2 H8 h: D/ m
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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- K/ B; l1 H# P8 bWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 3 \. n' C& R/ }* k& a, F4 `
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ( I# b3 L, V/ b( }0 u" e5 c
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 2 I/ U( ^( u8 G* C
/ [" F4 M! `5 A! h: E @Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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6 w" P0 |: O% Z- `Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 0 ?% d, \- M$ k) S3 I* ^; K# |# w
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 8 |0 r6 `# D5 c
5 D4 o: o+ |/ @2 j2 DSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 c/ S" W4 O, ~ M9 k* e
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ) V8 \0 h+ V4 v1 N) v
6 T4 W2 ~9 {; {& o/ A# {% JWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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@6 v2 y$ Y1 kPee. ; i: v0 g9 A" W; K' v3 W! V
; e! w9 t; i @, y' O$ sRinse off and get out of shower. * a" [/ S. r. f
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 6 r2 J/ }- J8 q7 j9 e% D+ Z& }
! f6 b! s9 O$ I O8 E9 S+ cAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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+ o4 A( w8 d, \1 S7 A) {0 E* XReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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; r+ y3 [& R8 x( x( a0 J7 MThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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