 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : + R7 b2 v" q; ]/ U) g
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4 P/ q" R/ a* V6 ]Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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& `; e$ Z' @+ p9 oWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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8 T0 t- A. R& X# ZIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- + f3 b1 ~( l1 P* f, H# g* r1 |
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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* `6 }. c0 `7 d6 QWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. # Y6 ]( v5 M# h* `, m, r+ _
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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; H9 k/ r) z; \8 V2 {6 E+ l, ICondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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5 V& A: l& e6 e4 gWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. - D' j: q: n" Q+ s3 }
; |( D2 C+ L# u* _3 SWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. % v6 u9 _, E" ]9 F
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Rinse conditioner off hair.; v: @& n0 l( e1 h
' \) {/ I0 U3 z& w: R6 n9 h3 G4 n. zShave armpits and legs.; @: j( g/ c+ G) H8 {* N, n
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Turn off shower.- Q7 G6 y7 |+ ~4 ^; K4 c$ e
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. : z5 F# X- ^% L2 A
: J: w1 M0 q$ I0 e# a8 c" f. @Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. : V9 _3 Z7 u2 y3 ]# A
& T+ s7 n$ h- ?) C1 I$ _0 e* |Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 2 \6 |0 W( {9 s5 q# h7 M4 ?! d( G. f
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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/ p! F2 L( j5 j5 A$ t+ b$ }If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 6 @7 [! a! O+ i* A7 F
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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1 g5 o+ P& D+ S1 U! W) DIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. , l- @0 Q: `( W9 a
; s( g/ u2 Q9 |$ J/ X) I! h% a" yLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 4 t3 H l3 p& S y& b
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. % W6 m; V2 d9 @/ ^& G; v
' H+ N: Y( r" L0 D |Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. $ u$ F" Y1 Z; a% D7 D
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. " I6 G- J- ]6 [2 H5 W6 j$ f
4 P9 N- k( C& {& u' P9 ^- hFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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: w7 _2 d$ a! T# HWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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% Z, h. C7 r8 f+ [5 d5 ] I1 uWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. % u9 C: [9 D1 p' K7 p
- P( v/ }. ^+ a; ZPee.
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\9 s* h* {- }: t; k0 S& [Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.' g$ J4 M8 F3 m
6 y* _) l/ [" y5 Y9 PFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 3 }0 @( d T$ T) f
2 R' p4 c3 N3 u w5 c/ [5 d# dAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 2 H+ x" S7 a8 x* w
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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7 E( H, H* n8 i) W6 b$ Y8 vThrow wet towel on bed. 4 b) u' `& p) B! O& C i
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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