 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 3 }! Z8 v' u9 A- i
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( }! x h+ B7 z! h- hTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.: S6 I, C( l7 L+ y+ {1 K
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ' o# }+ L# A/ N* L
, A5 I4 _$ j8 ^* O. }8 V2 m* h+ pIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
- i& _8 U" `$ C1 S8 Umake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. - T& o T* V9 Y! z5 n+ K
3 d5 M7 A$ P: c, `% JWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 7 n$ Q1 n3 u* F) p/ P$ f9 r. i
N5 C1 o7 D3 r; o. J s* }Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..& E: h2 ]( H' Z+ a/ \
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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5 g+ I( A t- ?; k% MWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. $ N3 w+ Q" u' P) \
7 q1 c* z! z# S4 I4 C3 F4 O) { j/ TRinse conditioner off hair.7 w: F9 z% n7 Z O; k$ C: E
, f# ]7 E S4 S" r2 `Shave armpits and legs.0 `: M" e$ y+ ~4 H3 O' C- H0 K
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Turn off shower.0 `% z, [" d* c+ X* w! s8 q7 [( g3 t$ z
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.# Y" m( J' X# d, g O& H
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. " X" X* G; d- A& H
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. K# s& |- Q1 Y& [
; F* @- B" c0 Q, j% vReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. $ N! h. |! r' [9 N
" \ l5 `2 ?/ \% M' `& r A' o5 C& YIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: " B' I1 N, z% j# ?2 ?2 a% q! d
6 T2 A; Z7 D2 D1 u; n, WTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 3 i5 w2 |4 l9 p$ S2 R2 a* ^, s
; D, w0 D) ]- p4 j; t. g/ {Walk naked to the bathroom.
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, V' _" s' L0 H! y/ EIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. / J: m8 A8 @ X x& o
* y0 `4 l& X9 D( }5 NLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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9 L3 {& s& {% @, H, ~$ xAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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& F8 h" a a. s; q$ w: T% v- F* xGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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6 q5 l. ]; E, xBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 8 v1 I/ w4 v! F; p. t7 s2 X) ^
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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. ^. ~( i/ l. Z$ Y5 D( M; H$ }# vWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 4 E8 q( q9 F+ q( ~
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Rinse off and get out of shower. # l) \7 W* c3 Q8 m/ u' X
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Partially dry off.3 k7 X" }; q3 d' p
2 P2 q0 H( h( Q i4 r: \0 LFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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- R1 [, T8 n7 `Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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6 W' w# x% {: \4 `! A. A" f* v* |Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ) m6 I' i8 @) ^0 T- t7 ]2 m
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Throw wet towel on bed. ' o+ b7 v! g" o, B2 W1 Q5 w$ A
* k- v2 u( h8 K b$ d' S/ RIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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