 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 3 k, K [! n: p3 O# F9 H+ ^
+ f. C+ t) v. @% [' o, W; R3 R: I7 Q- f' E
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
% b' l4 y) D5 R2 z. t7 f
8 x) a% _& l) W4 ?6 [# [& i9 l* A0 l* g$ Y" l5 }& v4 I
( k. `6 @& @: ]
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- S. S+ K; X8 H# a+ _" ?6 |
S+ n/ q3 l0 p' c4 e0 [1 r0 u
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
; W& s. U- R$ N9 k) I
. n! [5 [2 Z. sIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3 L9 b1 u; _# J+ F- Y, |. \& a5 u4 h, ]1 q% b, t
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
: C( H" ?" I5 w! d2 Jmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.& S! l$ u% G+ ]& M
7 v0 z; n+ }. Y: j7 x: U9 EGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
/ o% ~4 P+ u, C( m
' I3 z, R+ x7 a" rWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 9 p! a; G+ g* ]) W3 r
& Q: t/ V2 s+ C, n0 Q6 B- I$ F
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
% \ {# Z' G8 n, _$ G1 y x; m+ a) n. c
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
; B ]4 w. t& Z& Y5 a. X
6 \# H( r$ r1 |Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ) v; e- K4 p# Z( t0 z n
) `% o6 [2 D! O+ Y: L) tWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
% ^6 m# A( U9 C$ b( e; R- T
' j2 L$ W6 M: l( r# X+ zRinse conditioner off hair./ x1 D0 h$ A( v" J
/ C$ E1 |; Z5 O: N
Shave armpits and legs.; b7 y& y. |1 X8 M4 t
j" V4 s2 K1 o7 q9 m) fTurn off shower.& r- Q9 a k# ^8 a& `* ?) d
6 C9 D! J. j: k( ^" f+ X6 l8 r. g7 |3 C( @5 O
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
2 ?$ |9 u7 X4 P8 m2 P# D3 B% B% I$ L' Q- b- z7 j
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
1 x1 B; e. ^. N, N8 Z3 R& y7 e6 T* Y( I
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. # b$ m Y' J9 A# w2 M& u4 b
$ E5 S/ Q. o0 IWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ) T4 k- X+ C) h4 M( b7 S
/ l. l: e, i- \ O( k1 pReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
9 X4 C7 t% e1 c3 v r+ l/ `* H+ h; P, u! L( p N3 T' R
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
' s( }+ ^- A7 X* h# S8 A4 O2 i/ Q* a1 b- ~3 ~4 K, ]9 @& p- A3 O
# Y; I. d- @9 g# J/ j) l0 jHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: % j+ U) d9 b+ p/ L
; V9 g3 e, y6 n) L# V4 x, \
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
6 P" L0 ] _1 G& `( j1 e& g' }6 Q/ r0 M- Z. i, x: o, F
Walk naked to the bathroom.$ c( {; Y( H$ u
: c' p& _( a9 P8 J$ `! i: LIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 9 }' M0 N2 Y1 l1 s0 O
z( W- Q$ z, H& ELook at your manly physique in the mirror.
$ R( G4 Z3 Z" ?& S
! ~2 X1 _0 V: @+ H# [Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. . e: B- l$ h5 o0 ~0 M7 }1 t( @
1 `' G$ e6 d( w q T( Y
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
$ m9 Z p# r* w1 J0 ~2 X
' q$ }# \. y/ @; Z E, sBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
% |* G. @" V2 E* t1 }- E! i
; g6 S, F- e# S, D; l( wFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
( M5 r2 `$ l3 L3 e" S, ]0 j& n7 r* F! E( @% k
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ; U; V9 {. n1 y, g6 K
: f% r) B* Q* @+ BWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
3 x0 }+ c j. m3 [, C: a6 q3 b. z+ |, Q. i6 P
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ) Z* X4 `( k+ l5 g
d" p* m+ @6 tPee.
4 d- \% \) E% D/ P/ x' L3 C$ j
' G' O2 H1 B& ORinse off and get out of shower. 9 \( L0 A! }2 |" s& N1 M' Y
' T3 f: i% b; Y( CPartially dry off.% Y2 E4 o) o. B4 Z5 Q% {
# d5 k' y8 s6 l8 _/ E) t: `+ S' w
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 8 ]% R. D+ n& K/ V6 X
( ^3 K1 L& E# i5 t; QAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
. _7 H b% H( S
+ \- t4 K9 ?3 y- }0 g& G8 X7 rLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
" N0 c) }$ I' E7 b) c S* M! h( i T$ X0 H, C& b. s
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
! M" z; V6 H+ ]" ~
6 [" U" C9 v% Z, N; l/ yThrow wet towel on bed. # v; v: n2 B/ b d$ b
, R! }6 i0 f k* y" y1 N
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
