 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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! |/ y' h& T8 C) iTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.5 D( K* s7 v5 V
/ C$ m7 v; g2 u$ @3 hWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 1 K7 J; ?+ a) l" E6 D
5 Y( {" n0 G" Q* y; \If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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4 U9 O8 N# W6 K; f" ~1 HLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 0 ~, w0 z2 X& X! D
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 [/ D( ~4 Z. j4 ~
4 p2 q4 w2 |2 E, O S$ L9 k. GGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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& W8 c& r# D) M s: ]& l6 A0 dWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 4 }& K# s6 C) I! ^2 i+ l
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..$ z1 C) M, S3 U3 D e& L8 s
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. / g/ z& U* J$ v& s# e1 |
; H" T! |6 j' P( O6 i: p: @+ T( ~Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 7 q2 F4 v) L( o6 X. r4 P
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Rinse conditioner off hair.# `& y& \# m% K |- l1 {
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Shave armpits and legs.' w/ ]) ^9 U: y3 X2 ]% g* D
: @3 k; C: X8 n" r: QTurn off shower.
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r) j: L9 G5 D! Z; RSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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' F) [/ s2 o% `3 Q! v1 m8 ?8 c, fGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 5 }. r; ]0 {5 d
. m$ t) F3 {& v% |! TWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ( T- U+ f0 _% }* w
9 h/ @6 \0 _3 P$ fReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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# E0 v0 m" V, eHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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5 P* m- A& H5 }: g) TWalk naked to the bathroom.5 l# f- A5 n7 \( e
6 l# L! [: M, ^6 N5 a+ Z9 U; {If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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7 n) \/ @$ E$ W) zLook at your manly physique in the mirror. # c8 x( G1 |0 I) s8 H
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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t" N: ~6 I, E1 D7 J# L" nBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 0 | G, t( C( r. T
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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0 W3 _7 `/ w! U2 _' I' _4 KWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 8 v; A; _/ Y( N% y
& K Q! o& M! A' JWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ! n% N/ `: P5 L9 C
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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& n+ U8 @/ B, H( z. RPartially dry off.6 F' j, U, I C7 \! l
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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& I9 Y6 ]5 z0 a1 J0 N" FLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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) V0 s# d6 {9 n$ E8 [2 }' zReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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% u1 q2 E( a qThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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