 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 6 P) A+ }9 ?! {3 N9 h
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.0 n/ P- B$ u6 x9 O
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. . v; z9 M# e# F" _8 [
/ b. w: L) w+ b" xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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, E9 |* N& C5 {# V( u% }Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
2 f1 ^- {8 b6 S. \& l. J1 Vmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.- z* R: Y. a4 C+ b; q- J' |
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 0 p- r g9 l3 D: M
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 3 T( l& f7 V* H5 w. q9 G
3 _# R0 h8 d3 K0 R! nWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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# p j7 B* C6 H9 N: ]Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 P! x' @1 m+ f8 f- L7 y. c
( g/ ]# y$ `9 a- V# TRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.! b# D( h9 c8 K! `$ d
3 M4 u* F2 b# ASqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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- H5 V8 Y; X2 mSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. # O' F) Q2 B& e
; e" H9 E8 w- F" HWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. % [8 S8 V' x7 e7 g
% J, I0 v7 A2 BIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. : N- _+ t: ]4 R+ e0 n( R- p& K+ F+ d7 }
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: % @) F6 @" Q, i; Z& A& U# ~
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. / o! H* k( q' h" y8 A
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Walk naked to the bathroom.% B0 s) O* f% m
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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/ S5 [- r: t9 I' gLook at your manly physique in the mirror. + x. H0 a' B7 Z( Y. h' j$ j! u
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. # y) J5 |2 F- X# x3 _) c
( m# O2 T. P3 w5 c& @) y9 f7 GGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 9 g7 x, N/ \6 T$ Y( w
6 c4 F- m9 ]5 w/ I6 L$ R- JSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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( ]6 G c: m3 D7 ^Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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* `$ _( G% o- Y( k5 m6 _Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 1 I l, l& k( W3 h' j! g9 f; m7 a
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Rinse off and get out of shower. & L; k4 k) @( f9 }" _0 R
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Partially dry off.7 D" C: ?. y, [+ m( Z6 v1 S- g' D/ P
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ( T5 j" C* [( N5 m5 y
' s; v4 n. J* T# TLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. , s; f* G$ T" C4 v- X
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Throw wet towel on bed. ! U+ i% z! Q4 {& ^1 a5 }
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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