 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : . i4 W- ]; h' X( V) f, G
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.; `. h' g) T' ^# s8 i& r& H, u9 H
& j; }4 K/ I/ h6 e4 V W$ rWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. " |5 E# A3 Y1 t5 k J4 Q9 n
& s3 D; J3 c# K8 t9 T( c' |If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas., |2 d. z( p/ W4 @3 ~! }
! b9 E: c6 H$ u% Y+ ALook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 5 {7 y0 m6 k' ^1 o
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. d# [# @$ c9 @4 e# o
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ; a/ c0 e! N( C2 N* `/ ~; X
+ f. U2 j/ k( g: {9 w7 h2 aWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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, g2 y. c+ K* Q) T1 G3 wWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.( S, e9 R8 t: R
$ S: ^! z: |; W# j0 D9 r* ?Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..9 e. Q+ O/ m) h8 X' B7 z
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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& Z7 G, t4 E( hWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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. l8 A7 \0 `. h. N2 h- {, a( ZRinse conditioner off hair.
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' q0 h# r4 ^5 |3 ], FShave armpits and legs.. @% Z! L3 e/ v' j2 N: G9 k2 h& a
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Turn off shower.
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* M' C5 r, j0 I/ WSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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/ A8 p8 y0 l3 e) MWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ( i0 n# J! G- }0 ~+ i% ?
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: & M7 N7 N0 _: X3 a2 P& B
; F) \, _6 i i9 z1 B0 gTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 9 h( t, v4 A8 z/ |2 ^9 u! Z6 @
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. & m- t( y U" j/ w _
2 ]+ b+ r5 X) L( `3 nLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ; n: i; N# b) k# u. g
" Q. @7 d9 r5 r- g* l: ]/ n' \Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ! _3 f/ f5 A7 ]6 M& x6 H t
- T' o! [# b, L7 F& n; gSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. . H0 ^" }2 }* z
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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4 l( \( p- Q% K8 D' {Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 6 a# r9 y7 W" |. L9 r: W- j9 z6 v
+ X" s \ q; ]' z1 |. qPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 6 i5 G o7 p' `
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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3 n0 t$ h) i5 v$ D1 U+ ?Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 5 j y+ _# U& h! i
& X2 ^. D) D6 ]2 Y- M. ]* |If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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