 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 4 f$ M# R B/ k/ U8 j! O( ~8 o v, S
8 P/ x4 o5 u' L9 g1 F) A* K" F% d {, v; W1 s. P3 }
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E8 {8 g; O$ q* ]1 W- N" f' j$ w8 @
# f; W& e6 F1 |: O2 P' O8 j1 |
8 r8 @) c0 h6 BTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
9 S% {1 E5 C2 L6 v7 e& |
2 L1 R" k1 e: d+ M1 tWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 6 E: r8 w2 o9 [3 G# R6 I! r3 ~
n7 K) p0 B8 _- j
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.# o \) ]8 \+ o4 U( N4 I1 R4 S
; i* m9 p5 L# h- a3 RLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
6 [' x6 N$ a# Q, p7 T, g. Wmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.) t# H* p/ z9 r+ E) p/ K. X
6 Z# {, F/ D7 Y( p1 v6 `1 kGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. " Z* w" c) d6 R! i
9 l$ M3 J; a9 W7 G
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
- v) [; m; Q* v0 a1 \" j* C" b) f2 o+ f4 p
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
0 M+ h9 }! @5 H6 ^5 D( p( j; |9 D9 b _& v' i$ y/ B( T; t% ?/ g
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..2 V5 X/ ]2 B% Q x3 M0 F
) D) p6 ^7 Z) D
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. - ]7 v$ P: d: }% E$ K* ]
) a8 y" t6 L# z; e0 nWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. & c8 q. M6 ^6 v* k( j+ d% d
4 N, A$ t- u1 ^# k
Rinse conditioner off hair.
+ s9 l4 v$ c7 m' z! M$ b. M% J( m5 r$ l1 m8 A
Shave armpits and legs.$ v0 O: R$ a0 U& z( }8 O
8 D; Y1 _0 x4 oTurn off shower.
2 }( `# f0 s! K n& b
& C2 W; I/ N# S& k9 hSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.6 h) n" x- h; F$ M# J
% Q8 ~; T+ r+ ?8 E# nSpray mold spots with Tilex. 1 ]/ ?" _0 e: i. h3 H
/ S) B' N* P* [# o5 \& f0 `
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. , H& R E% k4 ~$ l ?
1 \" j" {" |: o/ R
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
$ E( s! W* n4 X5 e& p5 j) H
m7 s6 E* E3 QReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
/ f7 E2 l& p1 b( Q
( E8 ?9 T z, S3 wIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ! r! B M8 N) B/ Z# Z
; y( d# e' P2 |4 f' K) v, k0 A9 i
6 \( |# y# a- v6 h' A
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ; g- y4 I, z+ S( U2 T6 ]7 L; g# X1 l$ S
6 \. B8 G/ ?/ K
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2 S' u' L3 I2 D* g4 o p
: I2 c5 f9 o9 H1 o f3 L! s, a- pWalk naked to the bathroom.
0 M _8 @+ a& u: B3 d1 f
6 E* e7 p9 d" D: X: I5 N* FIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. , g! L4 i) n5 s0 C, ^2 j3 Y# f
' I7 r [' v; V# {
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
# {3 [$ g0 A0 c0 N! t) X1 A
0 ^5 Q3 [/ b, t* L8 W( fAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
0 Q8 x0 R8 Y, d& R% d6 o3 L* X: |0 z: u5 R& {$ K
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
( O7 D% m; K U! |6 w
: S3 F1 Y6 r4 S7 PBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. # @* U p. b$ F9 m- y
% `. j* y4 l$ WFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
" B6 v. Q& p& R+ l( K6 E3 g" ~$ m, m+ w( Z
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. % Q* I3 R3 E' m
) ]$ i X6 ^1 r- d3 k2 P: w: N
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
! c" M9 g% W. j! P) H! B5 R" y% M
! y2 `* u. F( S5 S, m6 GWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
+ O) ?" J q/ u- n2 |. C3 A
7 T. J- O# s6 p7 xPee.
7 b/ M8 I3 H5 B. B( H6 B) |7 V
, M/ s& d% j1 S4 hRinse off and get out of shower.
9 z' D$ Y8 z% R! ?0 l. [: J* Z
u0 h: d( v: L% V) u$ ~ gPartially dry off.2 i/ m, \8 }4 y4 w7 ^8 A! F8 C
E& x3 W# ~7 b, yFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
, L( @( Z/ r- u1 W1 U# ]9 E0 I2 J- |/ T
Admire wiener size in mirror again. , d! Z* S, P% q8 `" y& S
; T q6 t' p7 rLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
, e6 Z& K# T: n! X0 c. v6 q9 |. P
* r9 L U4 l& T/ e" g; YReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 5 }/ T/ i" H9 M* G: c) ?
/ {; m* s6 Q5 G
Throw wet towel on bed. ) s! L* P2 s0 t$ ?% u; E
- E# @- Z2 e! @ _4 p, N! \2 m- R
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|