 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 5 a @3 A% x% m5 F i4 i6 J
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6 z% i6 U4 s( C3 R% x. N5 H! sTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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2 U) c0 H) j% V" HWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. " A' f2 a) N. x
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
1 d6 n4 i" J7 E6 Nmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc./ |* ^' ]. n$ i/ E7 @
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * M/ F1 w2 e+ q5 s& B4 e% K9 @2 D
- r, W$ X7 z8 ~ E6 f! AWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.+ R, U/ q1 r7 \9 @3 s
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..0 _9 Z7 X8 g V+ E, d- Q$ H4 e
+ s9 b i. @" E* d3 Z5 [Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. / z4 ?% _" Z' `) B
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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, ?( x- F6 t- C' ~! @Rinse conditioner off hair.8 T( D% }. I3 X9 H8 w8 }* c
3 M, D+ z$ j3 R. |$ T$ YShave armpits and legs.9 D$ V, P" P* w% i
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Turn off shower.2 |9 C. H/ Y* j" C6 i2 ^7 P3 Y# d
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.5 R9 x4 v$ T4 L5 c
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ! l$ C+ t# C. z* v2 C
! ^& o7 I3 D5 b- C1 j* N1 A3 V3 @; RGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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0 s0 v3 t2 ~& A8 l$ x2 {Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ' z& Y4 W4 G8 K: D4 R4 D6 J/ a3 V2 s: o
- r1 X; I/ J6 b1 UReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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6 O6 E* c0 U/ S: }( p6 _If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 5 _' l+ `6 k8 e% F6 a }: d
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: / H3 B( F$ L' T' {& B& |0 n
1 o- y7 x, ]! I* V0 ITake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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# @+ Z! m5 n$ k% Q( u3 EWalk naked to the bathroom.6 U: f* H# e5 q: P; ^3 g( g
; ?% _$ s0 H' d6 R" s0 ]If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. + j9 I8 _& C% t7 \- p5 H" G& T0 T
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ( C; B& y. `: @9 Q0 c$ a! i8 C
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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, }1 b$ f4 J) J2 y" jWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # B( g: }; B& v$ u- F- G9 e, m* r
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 9 @+ S* X& ~9 d
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 7 ?; O/ z7 O( E
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Partially dry off.
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8 G3 L5 s3 e4 b* T/ r" wFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 3 Q) s; t9 K8 {
. h% Q8 H) p q# [; {0 i# bAdmire wiener size in mirror again. + s9 Z; ~% R, ^9 ]( S$ w) g
7 e; a; [% k: h& c9 TLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; M" U. Y0 U( k3 t
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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6 N% o1 B& D6 |/ ZThrow wet towel on bed. % R/ r* x, M$ |) d
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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