 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 9 Y) A9 }% z1 ?0 J* I# w
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& d. g/ h) O* j0 \Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.% T8 u( C7 z8 d
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 8 k' N1 [8 l; ]- Z: k8 z$ J
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 7 V' ^/ t8 x0 |/ E, l$ e
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.- Z2 C6 h! m) t0 O
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. # |0 Z7 r: @3 `" e0 ]) B& v& j/ H
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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' p3 ~0 A- t- B9 q6 ~Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.0 f0 S- a- e* D% p9 j% G; T6 m
) W6 M; X \$ h; w: c, A5 ^Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..5 x% N- o- j% ^) ]
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 1 }2 O2 c, y6 P: J2 l
4 T/ w7 U) `. l+ jRinse conditioner off hair.5 {& b( y! W# s9 g. ^1 o* @
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Shave armpits and legs.8 ` o& h- j5 P2 t* M7 a9 _) R
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. |) J v; I5 p. p4 z
. j% { j' l3 {* o# r/ ASpray mold spots with Tilex.
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& R. m D% t% t+ eGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. + ~5 \2 a' R6 J& Q
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 3 ^& \ Z: T# d1 Y/ g) \. R
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 9 f/ i0 ^1 Z$ h9 G
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ' Q$ j% p6 ^9 w* H0 R3 p5 t
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 1 q8 G7 F( b8 a$ S' w, Q# W. b
8 w& H' I5 ^ ]8 O6 c5 `Walk naked to the bathroom.9 H$ @. ?" I6 n4 p6 M8 t d4 C
' S- ~$ j2 R2 I. ^& fIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. $ x9 v3 ^( o/ X" w
; M d' m& b" u* f7 pLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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/ S8 `5 w* D# R( C$ r; A3 E& pAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. $ t7 D0 f6 ^& B( R
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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) h1 W8 o+ J7 z, Z3 rFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 0 v- z# j7 R% R9 F Z6 H( _& A
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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6 V3 n* |3 p& T) R3 MWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 5 h* V6 l# V A) Y/ c+ ^- {0 N
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. ( A: y4 @: X ~& v
! r4 h$ i4 w5 I7 m2 ^: ]1 `* vRinse off and get out of shower. , u" {7 ]( g' { M
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Partially dry off.8 [* m$ L0 R3 W' T
& \* s1 i; o! b w1 c4 xFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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5 v+ p, z6 f, H, y9 oAdmire wiener size in mirror again. ; z/ _) _5 l9 _" g) a5 p
9 u: M5 {- T: J2 ?/ z" pLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. / w" J9 | }6 S4 ]; \# k
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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; H. ?& y& u) Y( pThrow wet towel on bed. 8 _; Q9 ^7 e- ~! S1 _3 w( C
" w) A) `0 j) z2 i& a. xIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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