 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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' {6 b( o3 U# W4 G' lTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.9 a* c! B1 G0 Q9 k
R- ?( I& n# V, d) A. k" H2 dWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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3 Q* [ c1 s( z5 fIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
/ P$ d9 p- z, n, V+ K+ E2 ]0 umake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. l4 b2 o+ c( x$ u
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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: w5 ^8 a, P! m& W5 n6 f2 m: t. QCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; S' [! h8 m* I' Q7 a8 ?! i
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. % W. ^8 ^) G8 A) r/ g" N9 e8 F. k
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. " c& d ]3 M1 [) q+ e% J4 J
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Rinse conditioner off hair.$ l0 z+ U8 K$ X* C
' ~1 C! ^( f. i8 d' |: i7 BShave armpits and legs.
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( x- G) s, \) p; W; ]Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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$ B: i1 G7 l! Z3 ~3 P b& `: Y; wSpray mold spots with Tilex. 0 S1 T2 ], Q7 I/ b2 O+ ?+ L# j# z( g
! R$ L; [, Z) R: D+ Y! @Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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* y3 s- A8 J5 J: c- ~Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. C r1 C8 I+ o/ M/ ~* w# t2 x9 P
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 9 j- C4 F; E; m1 t7 [( y$ d
/ i f3 v% B/ G' J4 [If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 6 t: I4 |1 B! i* \+ N: r& |0 v2 m
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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5 [3 K9 g+ }2 D6 U# q2 aTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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\3 p" y! u( o* t, xWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. - _$ q3 n- V0 D2 v
; W9 H0 Z; c8 ^% HLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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& p9 W* V# s e/ f: U7 N. }9 dAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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: \0 ~' ?( B' nGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 5 ^1 U/ ~4 V6 E* l1 H
+ x5 Z1 K! ^$ `Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 1 U: ^1 ~1 Y2 [5 V7 ~! z
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ; A$ J1 G- i0 {7 K/ v) D7 x. S
; z) z# d- A# c" c2 oSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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& W. ~4 X& L: v0 p. nWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # F# c' c" @# c7 z4 k
# a/ J r r; z: U" t eWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 7 z) M/ F; H$ p" F8 i% p. p5 x; w' n7 x
3 b* l1 _0 q: G/ n/ d; v% TPee.
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8 K3 d* n0 R9 y+ e0 z0 L8 y: TRinse off and get out of shower.
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. |1 ]1 M8 U* FPartially dry off./ k8 l) c9 }* X( p; U# q
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 6 a2 V4 _, D. k7 g8 l- C; f2 U3 X
4 w" C+ t0 h1 w% K% _Admire wiener size in mirror again. ; ], a* r0 O3 }
% F4 H' z" |2 p: _Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 0 |( a4 C4 g* A+ l$ u
8 |: X) T9 I- }4 R* wThrow wet towel on bed. # c B7 J( A( E1 b( v- G0 L
/ T; R) H) }$ I6 aIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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