 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : Q! G3 D7 B) E; P1 Q" z$ [! H
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G8 w, K$ O. G `! W, qTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.3 [- u2 K. q- W* Z) {: s/ `2 y! K# y
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 7 S3 T* o4 D0 r5 M% C6 F4 n( G4 P
. l& e7 K5 X0 K9 yIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.3 S5 a& s& N7 a1 S
0 G( m8 `" K/ [5 SLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ( O' w! X( E) v% @3 P+ o
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.% c" S" Y$ m2 B0 N3 z; T$ V
( }5 _/ q$ }( w2 b9 \Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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- n' @6 W1 u T/ E; |) b3 rWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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# D- I* V" d) m; wCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..& F. K& P8 W7 c: G, r
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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: }1 F+ t I1 b0 _. m: EWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * f! D% s+ W* D: P8 r) z, n/ [
. | K+ d2 y$ B( F9 Z( \' G5 oRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.$ ]0 m: o9 d6 l. E$ J1 s
4 C7 m& ?( s- L JTurn off shower.& y6 N0 g; e" t" @ E
: J# P9 v2 e* RSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.' B' ]" D) {3 r
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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+ B3 ?: I1 {9 t, S9 L- LGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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5 G& T, M9 h( z! G2 u9 bWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 6 g& ]9 y0 ?$ ^5 q$ s
5 T7 v. `$ I1 R1 AReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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* |6 L: m1 W$ P2 b1 c) A& j) IIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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4 q G3 Q; f! U- f/ ^4 xHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: , {9 t; C4 I' c
" @: c5 T! j% v" OTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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J+ g3 G9 _& {( Z- u AWalk naked to the bathroom.
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2 P& U1 _" @, C# \If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 5 L8 ~/ a4 U3 c4 g0 W
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. " m7 c f. w( H9 O0 p! {
& B+ g J6 G4 | K1 `4 P, ?Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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6 w- W! G0 b) A& ?Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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- @6 n/ O2 O/ P8 T8 ]Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. % {5 E6 D: W3 y) d
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 0 A# Z3 ` {% Q' Q7 [2 Z
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. $ Q& V) e1 F8 g! s$ \1 X
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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; m/ ?, ~) I) c9 ?$ F$ sPee. 8 E! [' w# _/ X9 u. c
/ K. E- \- m8 oRinse off and get out of shower. 2 k' @# G' M+ s; a% [. t
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Partially dry off." \7 |9 h+ |8 S) x
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 7 m6 n# y+ e0 g
/ n' p$ R) w2 U2 OAdmire wiener size in mirror again. $ _9 a; p9 P1 g z0 n7 K2 a: Z3 t# F
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 6 K' C+ B( N* X8 J
- I- k, {6 n4 M: kReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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6 N* B. G% R8 }6 aThrow wet towel on bed. ; ]$ j& ?! u5 e4 p+ P7 L5 r
: m( P6 N: y. U' c/ aIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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