 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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# h8 w" h u. u) p2 fTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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. q( s4 M4 ^ d5 K6 WWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. $ d8 {0 j& }7 |6 _
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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2 N' e* k$ b" V2 A% a* u3 j! aLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
8 M4 L1 E- }( c5 m# u/ Q1 G% G8 amake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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* l% i, \$ i2 M% k5 i% O; oGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 4 ^) k: r- Z; J1 L a
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 8 d- e8 n2 `4 a! E& p
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.6 Q; {" l% _! N- b! Y, {! ?1 k
0 u D8 R3 O; y0 q$ x$ {. s l1 E+ qCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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: e* \& e' v# eWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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5 l# n& X" E& q/ c3 ]Shave armpits and legs.* m; ^# ^6 @" {
. W Y9 B, l: O- aTurn off shower.
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" o% I+ y/ s+ j/ \/ c# T1 q8 CSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.; m% ^4 X$ a2 u! X/ o
; c. v/ C1 j: m7 o2 ^Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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4 z6 E7 k( {5 C8 F \* v+ tGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ' L/ t, G3 W# [- F
- Q7 q7 G. I2 l1 b$ Z% EWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 3 r7 w6 e- v5 @" q2 Q# s- {
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. $ O2 ~/ t; T3 m1 |7 P' Y; B5 b
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 8 R9 {8 t. I5 B: {( C: e$ d4 @
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. k7 p' z: A; L- p
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Walk naked to the bathroom.$ }% Q z' S! I" o4 R
: |: F' N" T. _6 `If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. - d+ Z4 z' d8 {! j
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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+ b1 w, K- {) zAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 0 l1 k. J; C5 `7 C0 [
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. & ~; e0 \3 Z, o- U2 a& C& c8 k. g
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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" C! \1 g/ l2 R% `' O/ Y9 a5 _; t% UWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 6 l3 E: Y+ j& J+ ^9 Z! l$ k# c2 O
4 [/ g0 o) F; Q, ] UPee.
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; F M; {7 b9 D( nRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.' j( b" |* H/ t. p+ G& D2 |
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 8 X, ?5 D, p: A7 z3 t3 a5 b
5 W4 v9 I+ l$ h7 qAdmire wiener size in mirror again. : L2 s' z6 F' x) i& D8 W3 C, k3 G
6 j; `( _/ N; L3 O& W, mLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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, M% d8 G! a1 m7 p: c }Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 5 [6 r6 U- J$ ?( M
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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