 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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, j- U0 m0 w) r( q5 ?7 ], J% xTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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- R, e1 d2 ^1 g9 Q5 z6 e7 gWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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2 u" I& t3 G; j5 b- r" a T% OLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
/ G2 |8 h8 v" l5 Dmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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% H+ p, Q9 _9 u6 c" U* Y3 ^( NGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. & p) }: ]' ^, i! ^" h. U5 q; J
: {& |" m6 {8 i( j& Z$ {% LWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced../ m4 b+ z3 W D# a0 Z; N+ i, h3 o
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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: k* z& I. S+ @9 u3 p; v* a. [; pWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ; C- w% O) t4 n" f. \6 z& d* n
$ Z" n9 U( `! k6 n" c/ l: k/ fRinse conditioner off hair.6 ? Q) W0 u& Y% c5 Y% m
+ N$ u( f) o/ _: FShave armpits and legs.
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! r$ _2 L+ M, w5 HTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.0 r, b; J5 M' w; m8 S6 i2 G
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. & @% b0 h# d2 i1 J: B! B
3 E4 q7 b, T" f! I# j7 {9 R) G6 DGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. % J8 E- F2 @7 U
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 4 m) f9 s! v G, U+ n/ ~
; S- C5 M" T9 }) |1 \( }: _If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. + j) K& o/ g5 B4 t( T, f1 S
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ( ^! e; D! C& C0 ~6 Q" m
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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! d4 l+ j8 p0 q3 [: C, ^Walk naked to the bathroom." J+ A" `5 ~2 f# A- v
6 Z7 J+ o. W4 y6 |7 c& MIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. l& R7 s Q8 m- M$ V/ {
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. % B" F3 V- F) V- I5 B3 b+ A
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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) V; i2 A) {( a( T$ {! rBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 0 Q2 c7 ?% G, A1 q3 v/ y! D
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. : K& I- P9 G/ i3 |
" [ x$ V1 k. g" R S1 E( LSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ! q ^7 Z& J# h6 R
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 1 w" ?/ m( P, v; s9 K
/ T" x6 H7 i$ H% J7 V& {3 QWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ! r1 j4 B9 d( V# b+ K
( Y9 q' E% \4 H3 \6 @Pee. 1 t# Z3 ~ Z6 r4 H8 ~. S
8 I& Y3 O% F" g; Q9 K. a$ F3 qRinse off and get out of shower.
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7 b9 C1 z: V7 EPartially dry off.
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6 B; r4 z& U& P! _5 NFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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/ n1 F( g+ D" a. UAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. - j. b7 v( _! n8 r# R* o; z
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 0 r- [8 @! g! l3 a3 F r" c" M) N1 I
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Throw wet towel on bed. # n' w5 I0 \1 s! t1 P1 Z% ]* U
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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