 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 1 y: ]6 H% S; R& N; h( a
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( Z% K, s, s. t/ I0 \- Y
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. % I. a& N6 \6 R) Q0 x D7 B
% A# f2 Y5 j2 W2 c9 j7 ]) NIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.. }7 y. H% k& r% k: \
6 @4 Q+ p$ B' v' p" Y# MLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
6 A! d/ K2 F+ E5 d/ e" g' fmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.. U. e4 t) R }9 U6 d, `
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. " \+ I3 E3 L3 `: m
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.$ ~* O3 o. D: {: ?5 L
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..7 I. t" s9 J6 y6 a
$ c& l# l& \: `6 J( @* i8 ~Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 4 v7 ^0 ~; g- D6 P5 h" E
8 Y$ D+ G2 g, u/ ~! z0 bWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. # S9 _2 x4 w/ a, f* F
4 j7 o* a6 V4 g; z1 JRinse conditioner off hair.4 I6 b Y5 i( `' U3 s- ^3 Y
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Shave armpits and legs.( W' k& {0 f5 W6 x" c$ C: |1 ?
; E9 ?: ~/ i0 _; uTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. % y/ |/ ^$ R+ E
3 w8 ^" j1 F) D4 z( L7 j: M! F iWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 2 |! n4 o J' K/ `
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. / D% o6 O5 |0 W; j# _/ Q5 Y! k
, _1 k, ~4 a5 F2 E, s. D' OIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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7 z5 U# G; |0 X2 v, X& W0 {HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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. B# p) V; k w8 y# R8 EWalk naked to the bathroom./ h m' |* t+ _) P/ ~9 i8 Z
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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! j/ J7 I/ y# X8 M$ JLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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* n$ I- U; \# IBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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6 j+ r" ^7 V; H4 d& p2 GFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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; S6 s+ {' c4 D" _' J, t; s xPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. . L3 \7 m/ q2 F) i; Y6 z
^" V6 \5 ]# J' E/ d5 a! _Partially dry off.4 _. }6 \4 R1 W& r$ C+ v7 K* Q# b
3 q3 o1 U% m6 t8 h0 T8 q+ f! @0 _Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. - @4 A: n$ i. g C
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 9 S5 I! _0 M6 ?
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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