 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : % N/ t3 C/ J& }6 Z
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( `% g1 F( ^7 {3 I0 { @ n
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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* ~0 W9 h- i' }1 |Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- i- B% a4 |3 h. R& a9 T& ]1 N; J
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.' ?8 ?- u, t! `- ?1 S3 m/ v% s
7 c3 f4 U { G1 _Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. $ P7 [" D' Y% K4 v
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.; Q4 G! J7 r% Y" s1 f$ J; {: N
0 W u& }+ R/ A) OShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.0 L! s! [0 ]" E2 l
2 G( L+ n! }0 R& ZSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 3 [/ t! U( D$ @& h0 k7 f
4 e, a! w s5 @Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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, E/ X- ?0 [, I3 wWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ) S3 T7 K9 |, m& _" Z6 `8 |
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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$ c! m- r& W( Z; ^If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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/ {0 v! j8 Z& l2 R5 L3 pHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: " A7 c Y& q0 [
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.* J+ t2 L5 W7 q) x
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. V4 p2 u* J( U& I* C. A. @. {
5 N9 g) p. V2 u' a, S" BLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 9 l2 Y! _: q* R8 k2 n
# b- u; G' i% N3 KAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. . |% }4 P1 V7 b" S$ a
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 9 n- E L9 e9 [) }" g$ h2 R
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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* `3 ?5 ]! s3 c2 zFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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' A7 k' a0 z) Z9 ISpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. . s+ b( G0 _+ f0 C1 K% a
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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6 o% [. E! h8 M1 zWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. 5 @7 o" _+ j0 G" n/ N5 x1 q3 {
3 Y# s9 l5 X# Y& pRinse off and get out of shower. 1 V6 ?3 W. G6 P8 `! Q
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Partially dry off.
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7 D( C- S: N" y& g1 pFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. # M: d7 t* `. {1 H5 U
, I+ J. u" r$ m8 s! S/ P9 tAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 7 U7 `! V/ S Q' L3 P+ K
% I; u: M# p9 g5 y; DReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ) l& p' K% y+ T# B
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Throw wet towel on bed. ; T3 a* p' [8 n4 k8 k2 n
9 B! L& o9 h$ g- CIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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