 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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$ N9 D# Y4 q: L: {! ZTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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( Q% q# c& x6 `Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 7 p3 ~5 n, y. o. R4 ]
! @9 C) o. \5 HIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.: k" [' z* J! t0 \5 j
; f, P% E$ f5 w; F' A; bLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
8 T; B0 i% g1 X1 T" Emake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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! |! |8 `: \' @Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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7 X! n' W" p3 ]& v6 \/ T$ kWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. , C) }! q( v) I8 n6 {
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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& W2 Y' `/ L) B% [/ RCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..2 f2 L0 [8 C {
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ( ]2 B6 M; Q4 |$ {# R* E) [ T
- M, q, h; p5 z |- Z7 pWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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* C5 t$ }& |- p7 R b3 u& |9 jRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.' m Y: Z) y/ Y: C
" K; R6 S3 D2 i+ j0 D: G+ }Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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6 U. V3 S M7 }Spray mold spots with Tilex. ( G% b) P% {- k
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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$ N V% W+ \% t8 L$ G+ D5 mReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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* {. \' ] E% q3 K! d( x; U: Q# r& RIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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+ W* s4 ]0 H* T# p; q0 p. r, pHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. & q$ J9 \. `& ~8 A
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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! h5 U$ A! y G9 uIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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5 @) M, m0 ^+ A7 X% aLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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4 j( b T. S+ Z, \3 S. qAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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; c$ Q8 P/ r! xGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ; k* P0 A; s( w! p2 R
/ A, C' Y$ u6 l3 NBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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. T1 F9 w" P1 u1 Y/ ~ L* _Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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, |2 C5 N/ M) c2 @Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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4 v* Q$ N/ p9 u+ F% SWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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8 F7 M! L# @' ~9 O+ W0 W5 sWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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7 ]4 [" ] ^ o( ^9 H' LPee. ; t# y2 t: z( l0 P& H, V1 t
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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. |7 P/ E; M1 H. lPartially dry off.. v [8 Q1 K. Q
9 Y+ S |/ c' f* P# l5 D- A. ZFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 2 O6 |% K% P' t7 f/ H! t
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 2 e* {$ l9 ]) x* }' e0 t: n
/ n6 Z5 y0 K. h3 G2 cLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. $ ^8 r& _4 U- V& f) z! I
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 9 D9 M& s7 x, b
S7 ~4 r* G) O! jThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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