 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 6 j2 Q& k+ L/ p8 I# N
, Y% p* J4 y- j5 B6 _- ]3 i
5 R `* O% ]5 v# P
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------2 ?* S5 t; E m1 o/ U1 h7 [7 f
7 c/ D O. M4 F' V# G" I6 s! `$ P
3 w( f; e2 F+ y2 ?
( M0 S1 L# ?, E! ^0 n' |# jTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
4 x" v! o" W/ `: l% j! o) G- U3 ~8 N' U" d) |( D% b
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 4 ^2 I/ t/ V3 n! U% s& V
* f5 e3 t k1 P/ S! Z- s4 jIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
+ F) B& j7 U, ?6 n5 [; q3 i% [! `' K* Z' [6 C7 [
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 6 T" ?# e! ~+ z- I
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.6 X. X' R6 w, h0 L9 T$ |
4 x& n" Q3 N* \Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
R! P/ ]1 Y' K5 d5 q1 p
5 h) x, ], S8 HWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ; n& o) s3 l+ n3 C
' c i! R* c5 X0 sWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
6 o5 `8 H+ L9 ?
, k: c$ \4 P) FCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
2 u, j/ g" z2 |& ?
! g0 |2 I. x ^Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
% z5 t: l8 z3 G# i3 ^/ F3 M
# ]+ z8 ~0 C& K- mWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. " _ r3 M/ \, _* _- e
3 W* m( p( r' {$ R( t
Rinse conditioner off hair.' P+ h5 @$ u0 J h0 I4 u
0 k2 r. _0 J# h; D# j `( RShave armpits and legs.
5 W: K7 C5 b3 v! {" j
4 T% @2 O7 s+ m! R, f% G( |Turn off shower.: n5 v& p7 t8 V, l
: T+ O: Y8 f" b4 D6 oSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.: m5 X$ G4 r9 m7 v
; v7 D/ Z0 K) N/ xSpray mold spots with Tilex. # c! w/ _" P3 p* G b
4 i0 `7 _- @$ f% E3 H( j& dGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 2 s f7 j% s! C9 u2 @0 y
/ @4 ], A( l% g; F3 X+ _9 e
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
3 J) E) t7 a( G% D* w8 F$ E8 K* J% B c
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
/ N, i% N) p8 _1 z' {. n2 z
# Z5 T/ m/ `' d2 j- gIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
/ ]7 f d9 Z/ {8 s+ e% ], {2 c1 w5 E9 T0 O
' i5 W+ h* u* g I* t5 M
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: & h9 H8 g0 p8 G- t4 n! Q
" K7 r- I' d/ C8 r
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
k/ n W8 S' n S2 z0 `0 T7 ^' S7 o* N4 u/ p, w( E: t
Walk naked to the bathroom.; T I* g6 Y- M5 ]$ T; E/ ~
/ }: f; [! r# v9 O
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. D# ]- l7 p' {% t% u4 p1 H
# S/ N# o! P; \8 C: r1 P% N" I- GLook at your manly physique in the mirror. , f" [9 Y0 O- @5 {; Q
1 H$ M) ~. u5 @" S
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
4 u! d3 A8 |+ |& w7 d0 F h" u3 v" E! l' g+ h/ `
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ( Z( ^ v. F; A N8 D) M! Z2 F
; _2 \& y8 {* j! A7 ?# a2 O- w, H* IBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 6 G! W9 |$ `4 Z0 F9 f5 F( h. Q& l6 j
) F( Z p. z* d- j4 bFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 9 ~- @; J1 F; f$ D2 y, x5 U
; J0 a" o, L8 y- b" O6 k- FSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
" C+ d& q7 y- j" ^! G+ k/ u7 [
% |+ k9 s1 C+ AWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
6 y& O/ C# V3 ?! W& x# `) B
7 C- H7 I! g9 h" X* zWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
: ] z h+ h, c- b9 k
( U& \0 |4 f9 M+ kPee. ; U' z# _: V1 }5 @. O4 ^4 |) O' ~! v
" Q2 B9 E% i0 c0 R1 ~
Rinse off and get out of shower. * |# r% j; q7 z/ W( C& S
2 N6 I' t$ ?3 L- t" T1 c1 b( IPartially dry off.
; w1 y/ @' {8 L" n+ P, n4 T% b/ k- ~) Z g0 l8 l( y
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. , Q/ @5 {- i, L# c0 G; u
$ t& d- Q& ^, O7 E6 Z/ A
Admire wiener size in mirror again. ( W+ Z! x# I$ s" I$ K+ W
" q$ {( i' L6 ^; zLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
" V8 G9 a( Q/ Y) M; G5 N; F, u* G6 W. C+ `
) ~6 [2 C( i& d: J! oReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 3 A" E! e3 J# p: [% r6 w
5 `9 C1 H" [3 Y, J2 W) r9 z: RThrow wet towel on bed. + B" \7 l; L* L
7 u5 Q# o' e7 Y8 S, G0 } J/ s
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|