 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
9 V9 f; w' A0 D, l; N9 S3 U0 [' e' Y/ a) r7 }: e
9 s6 D G& ?0 s5 j" b--------------------------------------------------------------------------------8 z% K& S! t b. s# x
0 K+ @% l: r9 F3 M2 R. Q. v# b* \8 L' [
4 A) x( n) z& @) RTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
8 M5 A3 J" D9 u+ l g! R$ U# o+ I0 Y7 \% m& Q
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + y6 b- z( ?7 C u! {
2 j$ ?' I$ x9 h! N, V C6 K# L
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
5 A {6 m9 I- a
' }2 J3 S( v- N! G, JLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 6 i, v. |1 I, q, E$ ~7 ^5 ~
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., T7 P4 G) _: v/ n5 J: m
& L* L3 f2 X% T
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
9 F6 w7 n1 V6 Q- D9 b: N
5 ~6 z9 R1 X! w I) L' nWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
% L' ?* H: O; u( ^1 L* F$ s7 [3 D% O) I( D# _+ |- K
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.+ [% b4 Y, c8 O
& @" ?" n0 Y% U0 ZCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..) b$ Y, e5 g3 V9 J: d$ c
- O6 Z; _0 {& `% R. `- Q- \- }' |1 JWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8 F' k/ g0 X( ~4 h* _3 [4 N
" w! g- T6 I0 A8 d* G
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. $ L9 |3 n1 Y; N+ I3 _# N& W9 z
. k3 x0 H1 ^/ i- V: U1 ]7 `0 JRinse conditioner off hair.7 ]. l6 i. k4 o }/ ^
9 P1 x' T4 Z/ w' G+ tShave armpits and legs.0 z6 c" S- A1 D) R# K: k
) ] U6 y* F5 s- RTurn off shower.
/ K8 t ~( C) T2 {: l' K0 o
. [: }. P: Y4 J6 J. ?+ _6 E, xSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
8 \8 ~, o: r9 b$ B+ r
2 _( i3 U1 D [3 F! j& lSpray mold spots with Tilex. + Y) O) i' \& ` V1 \7 n q! c
+ j, l y, l8 o0 I6 k5 n5 UGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. . G, A# }* ]% F8 k2 |; Z/ r
- g: C+ _8 J3 s- {- r/ \
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 4 ~! u7 } h0 d8 L9 W8 _
1 }1 o; o. {4 f* e6 G
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
8 B4 }! Y2 z- d" p5 y- E: d* O: D% a8 z9 I
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ; E. E3 O. b: `+ D: ?$ ^
, o; D- t7 a% ^1 q
5 B7 o: K3 K; Y0 aHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: " U; G" l3 m" _3 a# W- U8 D
7 U2 X5 W0 b! Z# C
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
9 o$ Y" W5 n6 M- V4 Z3 _& _4 G$ o
' n- {0 d5 Q G) N9 }Walk naked to the bathroom.
/ O, V' z/ x9 o4 p5 m8 k5 F, O& U T" A5 w8 b3 E' I; y6 W+ l* w" o
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ' @9 q% C- |! W/ O, {+ v4 ?
6 n) G7 `3 v: J! SLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
- f8 y8 }0 u9 g9 y% G6 y* d$ F
, G Y r* @; N8 j$ X; J6 rAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
. r$ e* |1 H) a) T: p
" m9 ]2 F/ K) c) Q' sGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + q- ]0 d" `* K+ D, V# }
$ C4 {2 X; s5 @; v
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. h4 m" j- d: d9 T" m; I4 ?
; X3 N J: }; ~7 A: wFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
8 K5 ~, E0 g% I: r% [& m$ q# j5 h! m" f6 q- W' O( ?) g
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
* t, y1 \ o5 {5 p2 L0 R% O% F; l$ c9 \. Z; e C4 m1 x
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
K x) _& U L9 G- e Z' L# B) M1 \: r* r! p1 W2 P
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
+ w' h1 T# w" ~- W* j) ]' f5 ?+ m% [( a; p
Pee.
- w$ e" O8 |* f7 I+ n( O+ F7 P0 }
! h7 D" w# ?* b2 `1 J; uRinse off and get out of shower.
. s( L+ F* F( z7 J* c! @: G3 b ~* U6 F' K# F6 C
Partially dry off., ~8 D' Q9 ^. A
( l: j' D. o+ e% W$ ]
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 4 e% M' B; R% a
7 I8 C0 ~) K1 [9 n
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
6 ~) ^4 c4 c3 x, S1 o4 K" ~ O
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 6 j2 F1 `: S4 s" {5 M$ y; x
8 `& [* l' B# a$ U3 v
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
9 V5 ]( A5 i' J, `& H3 F$ e. g8 Y) U9 Z# j. {
Throw wet towel on bed. % R2 w L1 w0 h0 U, u1 q
2 ~& M+ V, ?& J3 [5 H3 w, r) l5 o
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
