 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.; P& z+ B$ O. Q1 S$ Q; I! B
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.% e3 @% w5 K/ L5 ?" p& H
. n5 r& n# I ]6 z! p1 c5 g# z0 BLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
& S2 a6 a$ y) _ C3 \% a9 Zmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.8 M9 l- X$ a3 b0 F: W7 q4 j1 @
8 Z$ T6 [/ R- g v1 }Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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0 j* S" H: v2 q* G; jWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.& a$ L' S% t0 V
/ s, W. M: o; U( R* VCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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6 L, A2 |) x* K$ \; i' p5 {Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 1 m- R$ m" C! A. _" w6 V2 j
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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) G+ x9 H6 f- v% ZShave armpits and legs.1 M& A2 t. k$ v& j' M: [
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Turn off shower.1 ~* {6 l* a* k3 g
% n' J2 r1 s4 V0 d- |Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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! K! K6 K' D }: ?) \$ S7 o0 {Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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7 ^ }( U& `+ B2 |* s9 _' dWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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7 U, `- E. H! | p& G4 k/ ]8 h" j2 GIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 0 c1 c* u s. ]6 Y6 O4 p
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 P, l' t* d6 o' m4 W4 ^6 C
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Walk naked to the bathroom.: w' W0 J! [. a; v5 _( d
9 t+ D, S9 k3 NIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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% e* a2 u* K) ELook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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& ?7 n$ S: v' t V1 j/ vAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ( E) T+ E( D" x
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 6 F4 r- P6 b' ]* e3 ]
( t! l$ C6 ~: n; Y7 i0 Z% R* KFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. * c7 Y/ c6 J' ~" G8 G- R6 }; E4 G
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ) j, U- c9 G1 O
, e: R) b# n1 B" ^2 xWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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/ t5 _" s3 ~# sWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. + [ K% L, _# v& a; S7 T) j
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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, F: P% }3 F* i" P% ~Partially dry off.# |! a {3 o/ s3 U C
, d; u4 i- {9 ~! kFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 6 L6 e0 }( N6 ]
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. , w4 h" n1 m: w; k
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 8 `5 Z/ n& h; u$ B: U' w
# g* b. k/ ?' F8 oReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 3 V! D9 L9 [% p$ i: N# a2 V7 F3 Y. i! d
) w5 Q$ T% D9 u( p; M5 rThrow wet towel on bed.
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0 l0 E$ L9 t8 Z [1 yIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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