 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : , f, e T2 O1 l
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.2 l! a* E, o) W
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # J7 G }, o5 r
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.) Z2 h6 [6 l3 K' `, e3 V
5 L" R7 _& L7 o" j4 A' oGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ' d5 r* v' K0 s
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 8 U/ V- W1 @% i; Q3 ^6 r
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. + z" p. D [2 |/ A
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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: k* ~5 n5 S7 mTurn off shower., d! F& F" Z: v' H
$ [/ f4 c/ }( c: BSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.* [4 C6 ?8 ]3 P. r$ W4 U; Y
6 {) j* E9 w5 h* Y6 p0 l' ZSpray mold spots with Tilex. - s9 m) y6 j' _4 ]9 |1 ]
5 g6 I) b3 k( g% M( c- a4 f7 t' Q7 RGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. & Y. D0 D- c; ~3 I; j7 M- A0 \: h* w
" h. q. S+ a# }, i9 e& X8 xWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 6 Z$ A: E. c$ k' _4 e+ k. l
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 4 \7 x2 N6 k p# D2 Z. q
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9 R& N- B* e! ~HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: # z8 T9 Q( ~- g8 D9 W
# e) X0 |9 a! B! D! u+ x' aTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 A, J p1 U; o8 L. g4 g7 ]2 e* V5 i
) x4 j1 }; p" S7 g# Y3 LWalk naked to the bathroom.0 x3 r; e. k3 Q
: n0 I7 w7 N. `( R3 _# r9 M8 LIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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/ g6 I, S2 J6 ?! n) {, P" l" uLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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( f# E7 R8 K3 l/ b# SAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ' V' k0 k, y' r2 N/ r! {% a
4 [$ `% ]& T$ I0 o2 WBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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5 `7 e: K, o: m4 fFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. : K( H6 a: _) g1 y) L$ g
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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C4 E2 p J8 L* M5 gWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. % x$ j( _: p+ ~& b) A2 C6 b, k
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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. z" I* j+ e5 M4 k4 _( iPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. , v9 L& F9 c3 Z# G. Y2 n2 p
6 g5 {5 b0 f+ K. v/ w, PPartially dry off.: W0 q { t& C A" z( V
$ J4 f( X4 K0 W4 `( Q' d3 k/ zFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ; |# E: x2 M/ ~' N' H) k
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; ]& j# ^. s6 r7 I4 z- [3 ]2 \) f
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 5 x X0 e6 b; r0 T% b
P3 t/ R8 r- a# N5 A: wIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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