 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : & v# a- h/ j0 }
p4 _7 T" \* j" }( j y6 x: ]9 L' o5 R* q7 s
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
$ k& L# y( F8 `, ^$ Z; U" E9 N( p
% U& X) s6 [4 `- C3 }# ^: N
4 t- A! [2 ` f* [( N4 L1 { 8 K4 \) |2 f' g& [- y, b0 n
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.+ M; ~- n% T% i
- S) Z+ Z# N: y# W5 W6 F& L) {
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 1 y& n0 o9 m7 B9 Q0 X: L' p0 g
, K ?$ y( S _6 `- DIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
: V8 t, m+ m/ B+ k5 O' z( P/ |+ q7 S1 [# Q8 G9 t8 b7 J4 }, s
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
' K( k* l* `+ g& {; Y: s0 A" Xmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc./ c$ i4 C3 L+ |
% |, Z3 x9 j4 j/ L+ AGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. / V' o3 P$ r8 p6 t% Z2 `
8 h0 ]( u7 t5 o$ k( }- ?3 _
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 3 M, I2 ]9 }) E3 S7 m/ W; V
/ }( d4 u/ A7 Y1 H/ l, Q
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
, q: h1 N+ r9 \/ R* y/ N/ p& Z: q8 h/ `# B: `
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
# m9 ] U; a& a/ B! H9 Z
- O7 |5 x3 Q9 n, l( Y) [! HWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. $ l8 ~5 P& X( [7 D) b4 H r, F( d4 K0 s
/ ?. D; B5 e7 qWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
5 f0 G, u6 h, L3 A
0 e6 F, t/ d7 A! X5 eRinse conditioner off hair.
2 r& }3 b. b9 l" r7 t' U
, \ E0 ]6 f8 yShave armpits and legs./ ?$ H4 ^* d3 B# Q4 I, Q
! c7 @# [3 P, [7 X
Turn off shower.
- H# x, b G- C$ w, U
2 `" ~) c8 g' j" o, i8 @Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
2 X5 I/ h; F6 P- ^. H" \. [9 D6 }
2 g" }/ x' N# N, B1 ?' j/ b5 O* N7 ASpray mold spots with Tilex. ; d! h8 b# `9 K" a! f
- K3 i0 b4 G2 yGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
2 A9 c6 C5 y0 f+ c5 } s9 H; e3 L- ?# P% R' T) {
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. . b+ Q& O$ @. r& j, C% f
n8 Y" y% t( }2 H! B; U( `( S+ TReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 8 ~2 v3 W9 E) p9 r
5 h& d0 K) f0 m9 n- O6 O1 @If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 0 c; c/ K5 L. \
' U# v: q! ?7 k
8 U& R+ O. c# \; W) H7 R. @
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
; k& f4 a% [. u, {( M
+ A3 `$ c, ]3 s; Z. }: Y6 q2 [ QTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ( \" s8 B: d9 E% m
* X! D$ j' W/ K% P8 [
Walk naked to the bathroom.
* w# C' V' x0 ]5 G
" H: z# s& B/ r3 ], mIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 1 U/ s+ U: ]$ `& B) y$ w
/ m2 j( a# j% h. C% @' A' F- T: sLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
1 g4 N: E1 A3 W" @
" B2 C$ ~0 x* I/ ^+ g1 m1 SAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 9 B) E. u2 Z0 e' `
- S& ]$ r; ]( w- |2 o8 r
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
# L7 ~9 h O5 E4 @# c- ^, j
7 N: Y1 m, i( T/ z+ CBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
3 X( t3 O; o, S( u n/ y. [+ X( C8 H
q2 ?3 G0 l- y0 f% N9 I- H9 U- mFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
% {( h8 G. l' X3 X' Q% k
" Y. j" V; X/ Z# e+ ?- i- r1 x$ d" \Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
) W! z6 Q' U- A/ J
5 w# W3 u9 t8 j3 r- D# _1 wWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
- ]- d8 X8 {. y- _& a
- L: }( y4 G# G9 x6 ?Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 5 P# A1 `% y# K- e% S0 F
2 f7 R/ n4 F- f1 i7 f5 L) Y) HPee. 7 S# r" c5 o9 o
5 j) |, f2 \- l: c1 j
Rinse off and get out of shower.
$ F0 `, F: B9 M( B+ s" ~: ^
/ U/ G7 F2 C: N* ?Partially dry off.
1 R h5 C: H: l% d6 S/ O4 Q3 q9 O4 E
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( Y$ u/ [0 e5 S4 |: N
( j: W" i! F; v% u$ Y: L+ _8 f
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
' ~) B' }8 |# \' |" ^
/ d K8 c5 d) p9 {! O9 t) ?Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. - P/ b, L- _7 P0 l* t, c
\' V1 ~2 c9 E. O* x+ a
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
/ Y, Y( d2 u+ ?" C: p
& U$ k7 w7 Z4 i* kThrow wet towel on bed.
, I! O$ I) P0 X
5 k' o- n% y, pIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
