 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ! t3 E; c2 x$ p% I* r, c
$ X9 ~. n5 f0 M0 X" }6 i. x
$ @# k8 Z+ z% [' Y* j, h--------------------------------------------------------------------------------) e& l6 V* U- A; C
. n& i# i5 f3 }' Q4 Z4 l. f: x6 R1 H
% E( o2 t3 J: }: b9 F6 U3 M
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.* Z. c u0 G0 u% q1 G- I" W
& J: a/ ~( a& L1 F, _- LWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 5 D" O! Q( b. g. G
- j- d, L$ X! a
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
" ~$ d0 p2 \6 l! f1 O4 R
4 o) _6 P$ m; A- \Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
+ [: v' o2 ]2 I5 h9 N/ Jmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
+ i8 s- ]6 P: x9 h$ X; M, ? {
2 B/ Y0 Q4 }/ s6 ~, tGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ( Y: A( }% I, N" y
$ w4 d- r" Z( P. O; I" y* j& P
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
8 c7 k ?) g! c d7 _- u
, u4 g4 c- n# D2 ~# zWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
# [2 W9 b; R- N4 w1 R. @- P: i7 F3 Y. P' w% _. R4 Z
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced... C) @$ N8 N% ]8 t
) z: W/ U) N4 O8 H# ~Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
* u; @( r6 d- D+ H8 e3 p
" X0 [3 H& h, ^+ j" w4 H) q1 z! WWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. / o8 @4 d/ ?! {" S2 ~! ^
* O/ u" T6 ?* d( S$ BRinse conditioner off hair.
1 m8 y8 F- _3 B$ _. Y. O3 |# Z, p# w; L
Shave armpits and legs.) _6 {7 Y( c j% p
: l/ ^$ i% ^: p/ x
Turn off shower.5 Y5 F. U. B! X# I, E D! x$ j; E
8 F+ M6 S/ K) k1 m2 C$ o# Y
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
: ^' x9 X% e& j- p6 y
- g/ K, s, S, P* l. a- ISpray mold spots with Tilex. * a/ q8 q$ _$ g: ?
, N) _( M$ e1 N7 O+ d2 S
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
9 R! [5 c; u, c- T* K. J3 Q
0 @, i- k$ F6 h. TWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ) K! g' o I; Q& t3 e
$ A" Q* F0 N) eReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
8 e- _9 x4 s" d6 q8 F9 S
* F; M2 l6 Q0 n7 L! m9 v$ dIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. $ n/ C8 e/ n6 b& u
5 ]6 C/ j8 }( {) x
) P. O2 _3 G! R' K3 M( PHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
) x4 I3 r8 U6 O' Z! S$ V" h
7 E& \2 z( p' L4 r6 qTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
* A% M0 n( ?% K- O8 a8 A
( R# q7 y o8 Y# N, F$ |$ ?Walk naked to the bathroom.
0 _3 Z, G, r( W6 G. `& S1 X& \: p+ y5 H" M {6 b5 Z' \
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
# `, h( ~6 H# W0 ~. c# L# S% X. K/ O1 p# O$ E
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. % A3 l3 _5 |/ S( A- j7 ~1 o
& Y% b0 |9 v- d9 O0 w; J/ y
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
- n1 f" w$ F2 t: ^3 G( o4 n/ O& B0 y. V! o* s5 f: k
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. % ^* C6 n7 W8 k6 F! g9 Y) @: z
0 E; K9 h2 v/ b/ N7 w& ]5 HBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. * f) i6 x, |2 a/ N( Z
' s Z' s# j! X- lFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
. b, k$ N& f( r" N
; F' O2 U- d& MSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
9 R& A6 a7 y. [+ u% G0 z2 k( s, R* g$ Q& D7 Y& @
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # M1 K& Y( }3 t! K' e
2 J) A" {' M% U0 V/ O) F" LWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
3 [. ^( p, N1 G" a
) g4 @7 @9 Z; E( WPee.
0 @. a" ?" ?7 G) {/ F% ^6 x6 n( g/ H( S w! G* z- e& }1 `& r) p
Rinse off and get out of shower.
' @1 v- ?& t. ~& p2 M1 `2 E6 p! C h8 G' m% ]! h
Partially dry off.9 S# u, a# r& r9 N* G# u4 V
& Q; ]6 R( s( W n3 e! b5 J
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
. d1 r: m- o# u1 m% ^6 P% _# f6 D7 i: k& k; E9 K
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
6 H" s+ b# u% t# x& f
- k+ h7 @ O' y- rLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 2 s+ _3 V* P" |* c8 z
. S$ k/ f% U3 UReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 9 J: u2 F7 g3 b+ N1 i
# S9 w" r5 l' |3 v n
Throw wet towel on bed.
& i( K1 i/ ^6 i5 F
0 k* g4 O/ |# [+ H) _. _' pIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|