 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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7 F; M1 n4 @+ t" `, W ~2 X6 {* j7 oTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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; |% Q1 _2 B: I' L5 }$ PIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.- [7 Y6 P; b' S; a' w5 A: |
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 2 n" V e0 b, F M& m, f8 r6 l: l
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc./ O$ D& K& l/ `
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ; W! u- X+ q& ]8 z2 K" l
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. : z7 \& r( C$ X# \
2 b: w. ?0 T8 X; l! l) XWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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4 ], C r7 L+ n$ o* f5 h! NWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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& K( \+ v% H9 `. w( `; ?Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. , Q% y8 ?& l2 }2 ?+ G$ D
. t* f7 Z k; Z2 H( ~Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.: |, i, i4 H: ]4 u, m+ ]
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Turn off shower.
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" ~- P n# X: D- u& b9 JSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower./ Z; q6 W0 n* d+ H# y$ T+ v9 u
! J; L$ [; m. w+ dSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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j# Z8 @4 g6 \( j- b1 r/ QGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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- ]/ t( t- e: _" c7 m# B9 lWrap hair in super absorbent towel. $ ^( h& P' ]( T
2 Z! C$ K$ d% ^* f) IReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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3 {9 e+ v0 D7 ZHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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+ c: ?; T' T3 F+ V& j. BWalk naked to the bathroom.
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* N5 E7 H: @- e8 ^# WIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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5 N2 a1 Y9 k# Z+ b/ TLook at your manly physique in the mirror. ! a. ]4 D6 F+ Q9 ?
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 2 q/ ~! }$ Z1 q; ` e1 K7 D' G6 p
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 1 Y) V1 ^. q# O/ w1 t/ i
8 ?/ c' @8 {" ZFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 0 @* n) A% W5 R7 Q
% `5 \& m/ Y, ~1 R/ |Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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6 Y* @' P. y: ^ F7 lWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. + L C) {, ^; H' A0 `/ H7 F! L
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1 }2 V& Y1 a) D) @0 J! pRinse off and get out of shower. 1 I3 Z9 ?/ S4 [/ g/ T
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 7 Z$ Z; Z" ?6 e
# K1 v! k0 a# U5 XAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 5 L6 }5 p4 T( w% d0 a- S2 ?
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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+ j7 S5 T! K/ S! JThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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