 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : / Z5 I! x/ B4 g1 p- G
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3 ^" u0 q# K$ w; GTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.$ d) G/ A: k6 [, ^/ |/ d5 d
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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6 q/ M1 N6 W n4 |If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.1 ]7 J7 A. v- }
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- " X: K, g6 l( i7 q
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.( k: F4 X: ^( k/ T0 y: K l( K
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 7 v3 ^2 r5 r8 Z
w Z" l; @6 M3 TWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ( F; {* t }$ r1 w1 B
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.! x. Z( u, m% }% Z; U- G' l4 h
3 t) G. Q# ]/ ]( v, n# r2 {+ KTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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) O+ G+ u5 i. b5 s' [Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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) f! A& c5 V: ?2 G* sReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 9 }) o, b6 C5 U: ^9 c& V
6 Y, o* `0 z* \: ?& z0 PIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. - `2 \4 ?. V4 k; E% D- [/ l
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0 `" d7 ^- L1 E8 VHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 6 r& H+ @% K2 Y' E$ M3 h) m
# K) ~; m- r }" {: qTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. % j9 c( g# b5 N. s. G1 L
; |2 }) k" T" \: X% yWalk naked to the bathroom.; b- |% x8 e: f0 q( H
8 H' m t0 G7 _4 i ^3 }& \7 OIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. : n; H) A4 a- m8 N* p5 E, f; ~
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. - f& ~( b1 z" k \7 h! Y2 m: \
; U" `/ D5 ]6 d& t% H$ XGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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0 l! @6 W5 x+ z% k0 s9 b" hFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 5 }& d1 o5 t' B" s# K
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. & N9 C" p. \& A* v$ o
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. & E6 P0 P" u" t; z( `
0 H! P% x \/ d9 R+ o/ ZRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off." r% E$ i* l" B7 W
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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$ U8 M u/ J! g X/ h% AAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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4 ]: F% @- ~0 E0 I" J- R) S) TReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 3 N& J, l4 Q( T0 k+ A6 ]* \8 f
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Throw wet towel on bed. , l& Y) s$ C4 U" L Q
/ y" E( ~" s# ~ f4 V4 E0 eIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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