 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : - n7 e3 Z5 m5 t8 c/ v% g* _
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks./ z' ^2 d- q* l% P1 l) V. V. ~7 U
% w9 F$ S# t* [5 Y) zWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ( H: G/ Y4 @* a4 n: p
3 ]+ v: d3 a) F/ MIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.9 T% |5 o9 e5 c# o( V( s! E, \
( f/ a; j# L; ~# l. T$ ?. aLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- F: y( B1 [2 P
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 0 v7 A9 B5 n, v" C- V4 j) G
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean./ [. g6 q1 m9 V
3 p- l, d% k6 I+ S8 S/ x: M9 GCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..6 y ~8 c1 r& d# k
' j/ {' W5 x* a( ^/ ~Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. : Z1 n2 ]5 l5 y0 Z5 a
/ ^+ ]! N5 h: i: y" t6 D: h( WWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. : w9 p4 A3 u% n0 o& g8 u9 g
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Rinse conditioner off hair.. T* h8 \# K4 ?: Y$ w. D, Y
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Shave armpits and legs.
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& A* g2 T( ?) i1 N% |6 G3 @Turn off shower.
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9 P% e5 @+ Y' k8 |3 w$ E7 Y) uSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ; A2 v' y$ I) G# Y" f# k5 `8 u
7 @4 u, V) f; xWrap hair in super absorbent towel. : C# y& C( `! r' |* E
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. * r- i. n. D$ e( X' R
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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9 k Y7 v: t# j2 u8 ?$ GTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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, f' ?" K6 c6 u a1 RWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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% n* X2 ?3 S* t9 C. T( B* bLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. + S' A% d2 a0 J
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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$ ?) m- Z2 M& E+ VBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 6 a: V W$ { w% M5 E5 p9 @: I8 a5 c
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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4 F6 Z3 T5 a2 k) I6 `/ v5 R8 s7 Z7 @! tSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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' e4 G7 g5 j- d6 T+ q/ LWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 2 K/ n5 G- {. l' ?6 G, V
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" \* X( w3 j% @ V2 f; o7 FRinse off and get out of shower. : [0 d' C: s* M6 x9 S9 ~8 C5 A
) L' [! F1 W4 N7 ~+ }Partially dry off.% ?4 T; L1 D) p3 B0 L; W) `
0 m5 f: z* u9 j; ]- `# aFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. ( B, [5 A1 c( G( c8 c9 U5 f' m/ e
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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