 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : # A$ t9 ~8 z) r ?5 V3 U
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- / S% q- d) E% H, t
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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) ~2 Q/ P9 u c' p& v. N+ _Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. . T l5 @1 ~& k; i5 T0 w( Z
- F; n6 f9 ^; w# |2 |Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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# c" b1 P9 Y: `" E s( GWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. $ x* j7 P9 I, g( r$ F; H1 e% x
0 z1 Y! q. a$ @* Y: g+ d) JWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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" P. ~: x- u; D' yRinse conditioner off hair.
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3 G* y( u: u# D K& X1 BShave armpits and legs.: f6 e- ~" E$ f! D
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Turn off shower./ `7 v9 c% U" R# e: G- H
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.& ^* N2 F d9 T6 y
5 Y# u* M4 m& G1 v; }) }Spray mold spots with Tilex. 9 L4 M7 j- \8 m' k: A9 j# C
7 l M/ u; D! m( ^7 B! yGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 7 Y# ]' V2 s5 N5 ^, M: H% }
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. O4 b' c, G7 K/ j- T
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 4 \' T, {( h( `, P& j/ j$ e
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. * @& Y, Q; t( n2 U5 {# c4 R
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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& D/ Z8 \/ P' u/ zIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. $ q% M+ \7 q' E+ ~
+ }) U% X0 s6 ~$ k, s+ G3 ]6 C, m& G2 ZLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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. v& B+ f* G" `& UAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ]& @/ U1 n- x
* Z/ r' O. Y5 I& W0 U! IBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. # W2 i3 f. W) n& ?0 n
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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; X& Y, n5 m( L4 L# u+ b" eWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. & ]# `: C! j) d
0 f2 x. _! ^5 ?7 O2 x! HRinse off and get out of shower. + {; [! C) B- p+ [' M7 W" t
9 X3 p9 T+ f/ c/ j. jPartially dry off. l; Z5 ^4 a, A! G
+ U1 P- P1 g B5 l! Y7 cFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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3 M) d5 }/ X( _9 Q3 g! i' T4 e4 BLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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- d* G/ P3 A; s% g& z. y+ jReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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/ M1 R M8 Q& `Throw wet towel on bed.
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* ]& P! v. ^/ L( b0 nIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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