 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : & i8 ]4 Y) E' T0 t/ Y; S
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.3 ^* l ^0 e- Z
- {% J0 S8 t9 ]) x/ O' I; I' P/ WWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.& X; f7 M+ V! M% H7 z2 {- M2 D* y! T
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
" `. D* E1 S1 b* A3 Nmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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& B6 O! h6 l0 o3 L" d2 ]% IGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.8 y" A- V# o% Q1 F) b
/ W9 f% p9 w( R3 l8 x5 OCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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/ s- N6 Y/ @! H- U/ `Shave armpits and legs.
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( c. c+ ^" u$ O8 e: @0 l5 [0 w# H! tTurn off shower.
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: c4 ~% [9 L l' {Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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- p0 E4 V. d# E+ `Spray mold spots with Tilex. 4 `! p4 c) Z6 T. \, n/ N
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ( R9 h% E; U$ T8 N5 {' G* Q
: H+ ^5 `/ S I" a$ o3 R4 |Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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/ L5 @7 R/ E+ {& t# n" D7 NHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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3 }( C! k& T' p3 i+ \& |" `+ eWalk naked to the bathroom.. L( t6 e3 i' o6 Y6 m
9 g4 O! |+ Y# g$ \$ o2 H) s4 p( e' |If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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- e4 }# A- v1 Z- u) m( i% VAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. $ h k u% y& P6 V
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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3 c, h" |5 X5 XBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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% W; j$ v( e' @$ b* [Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. & {4 E P" L" z* S4 B1 \
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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4 G; P$ P; E3 @" {0 Z; bWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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/ S1 z/ @: Z$ } Z3 ePee. $ u: ?7 N# i" I7 @8 F3 z: e7 P
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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8 ]3 k% z$ k lPartially dry off.
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: r; D( M d. o/ j" x) rFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. : x; N( D( b! S
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. % J0 J Z2 M- l" S
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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* ]) B" c! T# @, }5 O4 `; J) ^Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. # k. m- }0 H0 n, X8 N, l
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Throw wet towel on bed. & n8 s9 }4 ^2 B$ `% K
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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