 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 0 u+ K8 T2 A' \
$ ~; a D& e' a7 P2 f
. ^9 h2 S! a! @3 v- O--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" [% z* a6 r. D
5 U& X$ y4 ? M1 C! h9 d: j5 [3 W/ _) p
% D" V6 `% e! E
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
4 \' g- c( i+ |- [& Z, L
. r) Q2 Z, M, ~% j$ o5 rWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. % T* p2 c* j: r' q) W3 S1 k
- @9 h% s! r# {, I" p4 P
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
- k" \4 r# E/ R0 t+ E9 s- T q# V0 @6 ^' F8 D
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- % j! a" P% M( U. Q/ W6 E$ k; ]
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
+ s: q) s3 [1 q% ?8 B$ @! C; i& E1 i% h" m0 Z; {
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
q V# B/ h) n2 P8 \& B% q. R
3 L( y" g9 f1 n6 l5 b' a& JWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. : z9 H5 B I9 w3 c
, o& a* r }; T: \
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
8 k; o( r# v0 Y$ ?: q9 ? x& e
9 [8 ]5 P9 Q3 J1 GCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..* m! B) c) e6 E. q* o
7 ]& B$ S1 ]& pWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ) P: H4 n+ T( C. j7 L
( q& }3 n2 G5 ~" u) D. Q/ ^* b
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 1 j0 y) D+ Z n! P5 n' j; p2 |
: ~1 M( b6 o& g# ~* r' fRinse conditioner off hair.6 v2 _+ K4 F4 p0 c
( o/ `8 C- O" E6 o8 kShave armpits and legs.
8 r9 N/ G2 Y8 i0 E" G! D
( r& G; b7 }# Z4 I; ]- m; kTurn off shower.
! \ h: p8 \- j) t& y1 e3 {8 P
; ~5 d% J Y; V1 ^$ V7 s& eSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.! b# v* n# n K( m. N- T
- L t# u/ ?- _/ q; ~0 `: w3 eSpray mold spots with Tilex.
( V) q# V1 x3 p7 [$ ~: N* A# N9 N; h" q- ]% B9 s8 ^
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. , F: O1 m) C W: {' a
5 n( z/ Y6 ?0 `$ R
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 9 i# Y, H( ]; X* l: u: K
+ A! G3 o/ n, ^' EReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
+ l/ D5 q( k6 T7 v# @* C4 A
" O% M, _, {) f i* ]# | |If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
' E* J2 m0 h# P: s, \' |& L3 f' {3 E J; u2 \
+ B: b4 ^) q+ k) Z" \
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: v4 O: b. M7 N" A/ w; G) ~
2 X/ y8 r. x4 y
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
) e' @. [. J8 q! G
4 Q$ t+ |8 v) Q9 l0 e6 d UWalk naked to the bathroom.3 ~8 Y7 l- ^( ^4 ^5 L
8 W6 N$ f! d* f' [* EIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
" t9 Z- R0 ]3 r
; E) }( m: i. qLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
- j- B4 _5 L# i6 _. t: P. @, Z1 u: h4 K3 x' `& x2 x* D* c
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. & x& f: }* ]- p5 w5 `
7 t6 F. ?0 G0 LGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
0 J/ J; k" Z8 M( l$ Z4 V- b/ n7 p( A0 i; }% Z* d8 b) o
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 1 _ N0 L# D4 g0 h: W( K: k3 A
: Y. x' F K, w, V" U) ]) mFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
. l. o& b/ G" X+ D! v8 }
7 t7 d6 T8 k1 F/ S. iSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. , Z. }2 {5 Y# z* O* a4 X% g) O
. ]1 D2 M8 F) Z* a/ q4 jWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
5 D7 E0 n$ g* x1 k! {' v) K; h4 L* B( C( O
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
0 {# g9 j" r8 I1 a9 K6 c! U, Z" c
& b9 p; b, _! zPee. # b3 N) Z. c. ?
$ D3 }3 E$ ~$ B1 _6 WRinse off and get out of shower. % C5 W- Y9 M1 h5 @5 i$ m3 ~
& X: P& q! P8 Z# d" ?5 MPartially dry off.
" v$ g% q3 G0 o: _4 z
" F; Q9 I& H* A' \Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( Z: c; V8 G9 |$ w
8 a- N) D6 R) p" |8 k9 AAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 5 f/ C( ^) b# Z+ B, p! c: i+ `; u
6 D3 P8 K3 L8 {Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 5 |; w& l5 ~4 N6 \( T: {/ N
( R8 d6 H! o4 s( L: o1 ?' I3 _Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 0 f4 ?6 ^+ j8 [5 C$ k3 x3 h
1 _0 m9 x, M1 {) m* p! {3 AThrow wet towel on bed.
) J; V$ s5 E( M3 l& X; x) Q) q& m) F' @: ~# T1 N: \4 I5 y# b2 o% }
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|