 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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- D" ^5 I- x; H1 H: `- ^$ VTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.$ P: V. D) l: z* _8 m
5 X/ a E; U' tWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. & j0 n) B" q: g- k& e
, R$ v- I; R- Z" }+ b. DIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ! A1 h9 v- z, W& r' o) [
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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G9 K4 W# W- dGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. - B$ r; J9 I) U6 T3 J. ~- M( ^
5 ^) ?" Q$ p8 `Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 3 O' c0 O5 N, A/ T" c. y6 W
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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6 h& H0 |. O! l6 _Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. + X$ t8 o" I$ q/ |6 |4 E
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. " d% v3 Z! q! |& F, {7 B; C9 e3 x# i
% h/ P5 i% f' p+ ^5 J. ARinse conditioner off hair.
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2 C% e% k; v' Q4 Q YShave armpits and legs.5 m+ H0 W# |" H& \! }0 G
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Turn off shower.: p7 `$ N% O, [( m4 k4 b% v9 ^. v( {
# s( l+ F7 j, P' m! z/ xSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.- y8 q$ I' [( M1 d6 G- ?
, Z6 I* N8 Z8 {' I0 x. t* ~# WSpray mold spots with Tilex. 1 a9 Q, c+ w0 E+ s
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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: `) _: G8 |; W$ {- _( v. jReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. + n4 t( }; U9 k1 q8 p* o- T$ @- Z
' F' q+ n, a( z2 _If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. |% f' G0 m9 J' F1 B* @' _
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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* U! H- S6 h5 n' g- Q QTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.* L: s7 p/ S2 d/ L& l' @$ f2 s
2 `( Y7 P, O- oIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ( \2 v) g3 ^& l/ a" }
0 h. L$ h: j WLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ( V3 D8 T- ]% ?, ]6 x9 Q. `
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ( u) |4 C( d1 g
% B8 k; M0 A. k$ q- aFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 0 B, z! i5 \! I( n2 P4 X
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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" h4 H2 N) s1 Z& {( V% v$ P" RWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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# s0 J/ m, p7 l& @Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. / C- `6 P( X8 ^7 l1 v* M, r
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Pee. ( q4 C4 o6 K" X1 s0 O) {
+ }1 _1 j" y. p+ |: ^3 sRinse off and get out of shower.
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, x" i) @3 C: dPartially dry off.
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8 T' j& I/ n/ s8 UFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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) u7 K$ r4 f! s# d6 `8 u8 hAdmire wiener size in mirror again. $ Q S1 S% s; A# n9 Z# J \, A( m
" R8 ^! h! ^ G* h- C: {" v8 bLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 6 U0 K/ v0 u; Y& t( t$ p
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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' |3 ^. Q0 j5 _, d# c4 IIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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