 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + _2 R+ A9 M* k. I/ o
/ g! x$ @7 z- ~; ]4 p, hIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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7 D/ t( q6 \! ^) [Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
h/ N4 L. ], t7 [5 \) g5 dmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.2 o% J9 o" M" K
" b& b) r9 z/ ]' m/ l8 _ ?Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ' O' o2 Z0 A2 E
& o2 K) m2 R5 T2 fWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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- |3 a5 V2 v1 S2 @Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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) _- s$ V5 |9 N+ E1 V9 Y# gCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..- X1 g- S7 v, W( w3 F8 @/ h# E4 F" Y
7 \& |8 \7 L! }6 t3 MWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ( p% n( f3 U8 d; S+ v
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ! ]( t0 _% y# ~9 [
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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0 [6 k( S/ b) u/ BShave armpits and legs.) n( S. V0 o* q2 R- ~
- L; h( H$ }1 N# H/ Z9 qTurn off shower.5 x% D' C* x, P4 t# V6 r
0 r- G8 @; A6 a) f f7 u) `Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. D% k: n0 G# l8 X. h
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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! G( H+ z. \, X6 k @/ g- L {Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 4 q% r, E4 v S1 `
( ]& ?) }3 g* d: b& ~Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 5 p$ a/ [( Z: P* ?
1 N2 ]2 f; a/ w2 HIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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: O' j9 f0 d" O+ p1 u; _Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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* N/ T3 l6 i! ]# \( M `7 V8 hIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. + c0 v+ m# A2 n2 P, z$ ]' M
! l! Q c* v7 v" m8 E. hLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. & k1 N- }3 H5 f' t3 _
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. , M6 z U# g, Z: U# E
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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1 u7 S# I+ E6 | U+ n, S8 v: j7 P* ?Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. , L% [3 E+ {( ~2 z+ z
/ @) J+ k0 x. s9 |' x8 b" }Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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5 L- q5 [, ?& C* o VRinse off and get out of shower.
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2 X' r$ y- Z! Y B' tPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. & v7 R9 z* |( Y# {
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. / u0 |- ~- m, U& h+ ^! U
1 C. z+ e8 _. A. @ n% n, ]: fReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 2 l+ X6 J8 T# Q- N- J, g
/ b; t- M, ^3 S" ]& Z- FThrow wet towel on bed. ) }1 s) ^4 ]4 ^; f
6 S/ T, ~0 o0 J! aIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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