 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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. Q3 G( d/ a8 e' O2 u4 f' U6 w dTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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9 ^$ Z* D! W" P- v- xWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
( L% @5 t1 h3 ?* dmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 k# T/ s: b1 t/ Q3 N9 P/ r4 V
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ; B0 R8 N. a3 I8 k( F; u0 ]! F
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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; s, F; F% \1 T+ m* P- B/ xWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. + ]: H, S/ `# g5 d4 {" S' w
# M8 E# h3 p3 @$ ZWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 N( E# d! }1 c; `' }
4 J5 C2 K7 p9 K0 A) T9 W+ a. ZRinse conditioner off hair.# f3 j2 w4 B& R& f) K- x
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Shave armpits and legs.
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$ D, }: x# r6 K/ o$ } X+ VTurn off shower.! j4 ?8 p" q1 f% g
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 4 g: n, k6 L; {$ A/ ^6 b" n# a
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ( W5 p* x) H- [( L4 a0 R7 D
' ?3 C1 V' H+ G) r) g3 yWrap hair in super absorbent towel. + y5 U% z* C! R: `: A l
" u8 O) Y3 t* V: qReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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7 H' j* y- u$ Q! \+ V! B7 PIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: - i% y+ c# D5 R0 f# B; E) L5 k
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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) |7 ?$ x) {3 Q5 J n- u4 mLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. $ l. r [$ ]$ l! ^8 r v
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. + b+ n2 W+ n9 q$ U0 K5 t
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 3 j+ Y! }* _4 c
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.4 U& ^- J4 E6 n5 Y4 K7 z# p
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. . n6 i; T, w6 s1 m0 w
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. # T2 R/ n; z! b& z
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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3 W+ g6 S5 b+ ?+ RThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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