 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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4 A) x( n) z& @) RTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + y6 b- z( ?7 C u! {
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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' }2 J3 S( v- N! G, JLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 6 i, v. |1 I, q, E$ ~7 ^5 ~
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., T7 P4 G) _: v/ n5 J: m
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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5 ~6 z9 R1 X! w I) L' nWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.+ [% b4 Y, c8 O
& @" ?" n0 Y% U0 ZCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..) b$ Y, e5 g3 V9 J: d$ c
- O6 Z; _0 {& `% R. `- Q- \- }' |1 JWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8 F' k/ g0 X( ~4 h* _3 [4 N
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. $ L9 |3 n1 Y; N+ I3 _# N& W9 z
. k3 x0 H1 ^/ i- V: U1 ]7 `0 JRinse conditioner off hair.7 ]. l6 i. k4 o }/ ^
9 P1 x' T4 Z/ w' G+ tShave armpits and legs.0 z6 c" S- A1 D) R# K: k
) ] U6 y* F5 s- RTurn off shower.
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. [: }. P: Y4 J6 J. ?+ _6 E, xSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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2 _( i3 U1 D [3 F! j& lSpray mold spots with Tilex. + Y) O) i' \& ` V1 \7 n q! c
+ j, l y, l8 o0 I6 k5 n5 UGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. . G, A# }* ]% F8 k2 |; Z/ r
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 4 ~! u7 } h0 d8 L9 W8 _
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ; E. E3 O. b: `+ D: ?$ ^
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5 B7 o: K3 K; Y0 aHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: " U; G" l3 m" _3 a# W- U8 D
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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' n- {0 d5 Q G) N9 }Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ' @9 q% C- |! W/ O, {+ v4 ?
6 n) G7 `3 v: J! SLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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, G Y r* @; N8 j$ X; J6 rAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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" m9 ]2 F/ K) c) Q' sGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + q- ]0 d" `* K+ D, V# }
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. h4 m" j- d: d9 T" m; I4 ?
; X3 N J: }; ~7 A: wFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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! h7 D" w# ?* b2 `1 J; uRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off., ~8 D' Q9 ^. A
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 4 e% M' B; R% a
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 6 j2 F1 `: S4 s" {5 M$ y; x
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. % R2 w L1 w0 h0 U, u1 q
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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