 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : : t- Z: b0 u* h+ m2 c2 z/ `
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.# Q+ H4 L5 H! N
; e5 e% ^; }7 v6 J+ DWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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- S& ^5 }0 X4 K4 A. p; b1 D |7 zIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.) {; k( x3 S: I# v5 b1 a
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- , p ?" G# a; ?& W5 {
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ( U2 ^: i! x, v% s
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. : ^/ `7 j, j! U& f: f1 Q2 p/ x
+ V9 L! c( W* Z9 o" WWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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7 d+ I0 s' u, j7 ~" K. VCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 1 |7 W; b3 `$ P: ], V6 U
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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: K( e. g; X/ D$ b+ {$ f- NShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.- R5 b" r: `( h3 L9 A) T
- m R' ]7 m, v: W4 b1 ~Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ; e* {! S9 y/ f2 ^3 j, z
% I; a7 |4 t, v" U8 x& _1 w2 x8 {Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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: F. x( `% o- r: VWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 3 L2 o, U) L, J, r1 g! D
" _+ i8 x% N" a+ \- Y3 [" @If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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8 B% \3 b, e7 P" M ?" F5 u/ DTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. : C' S% y s/ s3 u' V4 c. V
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ' B* p( c4 Y7 a) a
) v \# U+ E( Y0 _! _; G7 d5 ILook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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; |4 B9 C: ^1 R# E' PAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 9 {9 E+ k# O# q. L- E( S
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 5 E+ ?/ Y: }6 V4 j# M0 Y
- D( [, c! I' V# tBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. % m v8 `# m c: c) V
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 3 y; [& M' X1 Z$ O) F2 W t
; Z. A7 M: I" h* @5 cWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 7 N9 t6 Q1 e: ]! @. }
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Partially dry off.
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. }0 Y X8 ?9 n& I/ U# [# ?5 G+ gFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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( ~$ k- u& S5 z* r& o5 dReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. / w/ M( L5 p/ L+ h; q4 ^
( ~ v0 x X' k& a4 gThrow wet towel on bed. ; H+ D7 {. F4 s* Y# _' f" A
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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