 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : $ P1 ?' T9 @' m: J& h5 e
7 b9 b' E4 U% @& r' S# z+ o) R" @- z' t( N" z" X
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------$ w8 E; U. }2 S$ d: l: Y
: j( B5 y7 n0 @* [; y
# {$ e+ k3 O, B" x4 t7 q
0 ?6 i' z% P( M# n8 A( \0 E4 ?Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& \9 w- }# s, `- j
% I+ d8 q& t$ s& e0 l- t$ QWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
2 o. Y2 f r$ x; l2 G- g# y# e D/ I
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.* V2 A2 a% [$ g0 G) H* s/ Z9 K% b8 K
/ `- i" u/ y% Z$ A$ d& I( ^/ a
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 1 H9 r2 h1 L) g7 Q2 M8 q
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.9 I6 ^8 k) J; j
' g; w+ V8 t ^. q
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
& q: \. \7 _+ b6 }7 s* B9 ^8 m" {9 {2 ^, z7 ]6 N
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ) x# l6 c+ M5 i T. l, t0 K
" V; D! L1 ~! V# L+ u! j6 q
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
( U$ h' R' N/ M3 `& q
9 f6 D0 [2 D' E ?$ E' P! o7 j# oCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced... l6 ~- a) Z( y b! h: l$ a6 _
5 R/ X) B9 q! y+ v, u" Z# |. BWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9 ^7 \ x. F* T. W" `" F2 G/ Z7 A- q" J6 ~
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. / l) _9 I4 h" d4 h0 ]
- _1 i7 \7 G! }% R
Rinse conditioner off hair.
7 p% y3 B' i3 e& o% C
- j# H/ ~5 L, G7 L! t. U9 I+ jShave armpits and legs.3 l% ~8 x2 {" @* m
. j1 x! o5 P7 {0 I U. ]4 P
Turn off shower.
4 ^# k( @$ \% d# a" _/ M
' A8 x q8 F& m8 r) J' c+ N$ t( mSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.4 P: m8 v3 t) M- o' h: _8 Q
' S {9 l; X8 D: F4 c# aSpray mold spots with Tilex. . _& M$ h3 A9 A L' G7 O2 P1 C
) m* p" ], z+ nGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
1 `% J6 W, n& |& t& Y
* J/ a, K$ A) y3 K# x' iWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
: ?1 M+ W; n9 e* ], z: Q |, }0 }& c7 @" F G, s. t
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. / h! ?, x* B" J" P, _ C
' y7 a, H# N' l m
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 1 W7 `0 o: s ?, t5 W9 A2 @6 y
X1 H1 w' v, `+ S; d
9 X2 f# ^5 ^1 S5 l& t+ |HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
+ m* _% d- H$ O' G. {+ }5 ?1 n" H$ @ X
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 8 V4 E4 ?/ X4 G6 P
% t& h% ?' ?& c- ?
Walk naked to the bathroom.
8 G+ z- n/ b6 q$ {- H9 i; F! t* I3 Z/ [2 S3 s
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
- P6 F' r: P, u' e# A( d0 h( _8 e4 d, i% l, z8 J, C
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
+ R$ B/ Q( p1 f. I" T0 N5 `7 S* ^6 q! i% [1 b
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
( ]$ I# V2 g. `; J+ h$ S# @7 N
- v* ^- E' }) q# L% l, O9 KGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
* d$ S. L1 t% \1 L( R) J4 { t- C/ N
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 1 D2 ?+ u2 S% k- T
! l1 ]9 |( U% r3 R2 [5 a" N7 Q6 X
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 3 h9 V+ z5 c" Q9 F/ [1 ?
& X0 a/ X' B& J% R) h5 dSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 8 s- @! T# }: m/ a' T2 u& V/ K
4 `$ Z i% C4 L) ZWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ( W) H" r+ K H" x# V2 J
8 I4 j4 a% j4 X2 D j" U5 N" HWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. $ S1 I) v" R1 ?$ B$ d
0 }% j/ _+ B) G8 C" |, @3 P
Pee.
" T* Q" u' i9 E: c
3 C* b P8 n( N5 P: s4 Z8 gRinse off and get out of shower. $ ^' C5 {) l$ a. o
3 q1 d9 q1 p9 t6 c2 P. {
Partially dry off.( J2 p% ~6 a0 ~$ L5 j& n
; ^4 n9 t$ o( g- _! T5 i
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
1 n s6 S7 t7 `- B. i
: ]+ W* t$ J) \7 PAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
4 g) U% _, \# X; l7 z, ^, p! e& C- _2 R! A5 {
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
* Q" i6 N' S' J3 C: a. Z% W$ y3 d/ h. U! P
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
\1 y4 `2 [; R, B+ m
+ [1 j" P6 a9 e3 lThrow wet towel on bed. ) V% w j7 b$ \3 @3 ~3 u6 q5 x
! X' X! s* o) n" t, ]
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|