 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : / [9 k7 @6 i1 G; t; s$ a T: X6 i
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas., X4 A" |7 t4 {, V
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 0 Q2 z5 q: m, r- V& Y
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. # z- G% f+ q% V6 |
# J$ w- W2 x6 j2 a* c" u8 wWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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! F, \1 y3 `) [* C$ F! eWash your hair again to make sure it's clean." h6 }& M. [/ V9 b- @
( l, B$ c/ K- S3 O, BCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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& G4 C9 N- I( ?' mRinse conditioner off hair.
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$ ?* C1 ~7 n8 h8 \Shave armpits and legs.+ S% X# b5 v) N4 g8 Z
) g. u, G+ y2 G" Y# [Turn off shower.& h9 s; I/ ?. D, Q- ?* S5 k8 z
* i9 k& s. ?3 _' X/ H; gSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.3 t8 [0 }; A6 [4 g2 G
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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0 V3 z3 X! r2 n4 |& |! I0 vReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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8 Y, i) u W2 C0 oIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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G% h$ J/ y1 m5 @HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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3 o5 u! @- J: ^ H$ eTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. - T6 B. B1 F% l8 N9 f
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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5 Z a8 ]* ]# E! {: ?If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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$ q- v8 G1 [2 k' d: k W, p* _. LLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 1 N1 L. N3 q9 @3 V0 r1 l
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ( e9 A5 n: ~9 [) ]9 D: `* f
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ; ^$ q0 ?1 j- T2 ?" n# D
( Z5 B9 U4 f, k8 S( u @Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. : p/ a# A1 T/ k6 i
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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/ [0 {' O* P. f1 p$ Q- g! QRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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* H) j6 A" F* j. ^Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. $ Q" G r0 E2 S, a& t i( V3 l4 }
! W& \7 J- ^' F c7 s$ oLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ! }3 r) g9 ]+ g. Y7 B/ {
- Z& ~0 [; }. a' @Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ' A; }- ?1 Z9 K' p4 q4 z' e
* a, w) }2 a- J' R5 G$ [Throw wet towel on bed.
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$ z t2 Y$ v3 g- {2 P, j! MIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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