 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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5 M7 c% y1 h5 N6 e! Q- pWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. - L4 w& S3 I. X5 d- Y
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.* F z2 d9 \+ p8 n3 h
2 i7 f* a: n: j( ?Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- $ L/ | ^- l* Z2 |, Z$ ?* f' [4 Q
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.7 |+ E$ Q1 E/ t: e2 s
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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7 j9 D" D1 L$ @( V) `& h# [* ^Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 4 d% i# l6 D# { a) m+ Y
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.3 Q: v' F+ s; |' V) B1 |' Q$ E
~: S/ N4 }8 m1 l: Q# @7 j9 ~Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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' Q2 @- X! j) X- B" YWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. # x, @4 H6 a, I9 r: c
}2 ~5 x/ O1 T4 ]- f1 `6 @; SWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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6 t, v( z% Q7 bRinse conditioner off hair.5 h4 ]4 c9 a4 |, C" _' I
; n% I4 F& I- _, s6 q2 NShave armpits and legs.
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7 [* C; T" M+ ~$ M/ xTurn off shower.9 T; b$ N+ G4 a7 Z6 X
) M6 y" _8 r4 `4 KSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower., F& ?+ K$ E0 A9 u
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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4 i! u v) Z: `, l0 x6 F WGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. . w! q% s. G- B# `
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. " M& c/ V7 a) W9 y
. C4 y. D$ f' ]. A* gIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 1 f' U2 G! ~1 E4 @. o" H
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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( N! I: w3 i- P1 u5 kWalk naked to the bathroom. V2 y/ ?3 n) a% h$ ~1 t. z
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. " ^* t# q+ _) q9 p
/ \3 o" K: Q a$ ~% ^/ \Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 4 \! J# R2 x/ j# x. U7 O
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 5 |$ F" T6 L3 S
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 0 Z9 y6 r4 f3 ? `0 M
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. % J2 m9 [. q! j+ L" j; ^& w, s
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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8 m& x$ k Y8 D. t' L& k8 G- wPee.
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1 E. u& X$ J- C/ WRinse off and get out of shower.
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7 X3 e5 N* D b7 b# L, J0 OPartially dry off.% K, x6 V6 d |: ?
! J; b) K) w! ^8 d3 G/ B. IFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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& n# x0 M+ f! l3 {5 ELeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. . Y9 R9 ?7 q7 e7 t, N
/ i8 J8 o. t4 IReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. % L5 C. t& R8 d
9 R% [% q6 Z" X9 h3 X* \Throw wet towel on bed. , }- g) U& @0 C% G$ S5 e
4 e3 \3 ~2 J- U' ?If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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