 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : : S2 V& r5 c6 B2 {
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.8 j) b2 c% p2 e# @: [9 Q
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. / z3 V2 j0 {. n1 E% p
/ s# D3 z' H+ j$ _4 X3 R$ @If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.+ ^6 R% E0 D8 _. I6 m) s( K2 q
6 k) d5 M4 C! L: V9 }6 l& zLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
1 p J8 e6 y* S, F9 }1 |& mmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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6 p$ u# T- J z7 U, ?% LGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 4 I- Q- F: O ]6 D5 U8 k
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 4 Q, L9 q" X S5 \0 a3 o5 U4 X
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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& H2 O$ c ~ f0 DCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..4 s1 K+ W. D2 Q2 ]$ Q, J# H
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 2 N' k3 d- x. N$ G
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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4 E3 \+ \. k+ i1 UShave armpits and legs./ u/ |; _" l; ~* X% `2 A' b/ ?) v
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Turn off shower.
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$ ?( m# g1 O9 ^% lSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.! _1 n2 Z. i1 S
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. . P* m- I' ]" Y
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. + \ S8 b+ o3 S' q8 S9 m3 _0 A
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 2 C1 X+ k+ x$ P7 k
% C1 C) a- Q( n" p' w8 S3 }6 \3 \If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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$ |# t8 F& C) ~1 }* P) ^# IHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: . V! z V+ E* s- \1 ^
) ^1 Y* k) B1 p+ F3 PTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 8 l+ q4 o1 P" p+ U7 K" w
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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" _! A, A8 G4 O' }4 ~! p) YIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. . ~) u- x M4 U
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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& Z! A' W+ j0 zBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ! B v$ [% Z. |4 `3 i9 E2 ]8 O
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 0 E( I/ G$ j$ d! q
# X. R/ c5 t6 k6 W7 W- ^4 xSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 7 P: H9 G! N8 j# b
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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5 a# U0 F G2 y! `- ~/ s7 @Rinse off and get out of shower. 2 h1 D& `( n9 A0 t, j
6 f7 L: |& |. }$ u- A4 H/ b2 IPartially dry off.% j' T. J8 p: N4 m+ D* K9 c4 O
, S$ M& _, Q1 W3 @- k/ ]2 {$ \& YFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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9 R: e: a" q% i$ SLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. / b, f1 ~% t- ]1 B; ~, v
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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1 n2 [, @2 r* j$ k1 I, OThrow wet towel on bed. 8 h; c& Z4 `+ s3 M
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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