 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
i3 ?2 E- N" O5 n: S
2 l, ?$ y( M" }% X' }
9 \ o- E# `1 x* V" ^--------------------------------------------------------------------------------# {* @! h6 T( T/ l! b$ @" L
% g+ b- z# c8 e/ G( I" T
+ P2 X3 i4 c/ l, ` O/ _ 0 t o4 z/ A) P
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
- A1 n4 d* v5 n9 W: e( s( w
5 i6 D( o! _1 I, U# s! r4 `6 BWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ' r- }: e5 P- T
' y/ n" Z, c; N8 P" J: D% B
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.% `3 u& R& E% S8 \* B
. C. i6 B0 t: R y) a
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ) |! Y( [" H* s3 ]
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.( v2 }! |/ W3 E. g; H- `
# o' D# h) x( ?8 @
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. / F* m! [* H' r# M
0 t" G4 o( z" p: I0 l$ d, ~. ^
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. q0 v- } N6 y: d
K; w* u: ]6 p
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.: x* B" T& q/ w( j. W
- z7 x0 a: S4 u2 zCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..+ o Y \+ V D" c2 W- F
# F% @8 H* V" G& r3 B( V
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 2 R. R: H4 d7 V; d7 g9 u6 |% z' d
% l0 o) l- c6 T g# k, K) q4 _, w( AWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ' w' o* j4 P) L. L
3 q/ n/ x) _/ U, j+ P( HRinse conditioner off hair.
' s* G& Y3 g* K( v. U! W$ A4 ^- L
Shave armpits and legs.4 S( }3 _6 @; e$ ]0 ^* e% \
7 ?; P) s: x& A& K- }( i r+ o
Turn off shower.
0 g3 H4 G Z; v$ U8 _5 u: g" I( a) v5 @) D! |
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower./ }' W1 H4 H. Z2 z; o7 o" j% b
5 K9 _8 [8 p" R/ g. W0 x
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
$ R$ n# \, S* E1 l: i; L0 p
5 z; y _* w' m$ t( j0 K+ FGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 4 A \. H4 `: p( N. |* F
1 } Y; d7 q( jWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
( X5 X6 D( h. e: c9 ?- D9 z
A& k. O" j# r1 sReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. . [* l5 \) _) f& l8 }
9 m- C8 E( W% y( A( P6 U) f
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
+ |( K" x/ C/ D i4 k6 V& K2 e+ M) \' A7 T
# u! d: m* E) G1 PHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
7 ]6 z7 k( o2 O! q' ^
& x- M- f6 r- {7 N* i4 QTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. & z) b8 z+ f/ }
" W5 v1 N& L8 c, o5 b6 u5 }# e* X2 IWalk naked to the bathroom.9 v0 o- w3 o& L( w7 g$ i6 k5 |# O; l* m
, g5 {# x$ E0 s- O+ p3 M& j% t
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
+ `$ S5 N0 w) M: D
/ Z; o8 _' `. t2 ?+ W. OLook at your manly physique in the mirror. & `% V: N, v7 p7 u/ B
% t2 j" U( }$ }3 Y0 s% Q3 M8 D
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. * X! Y% ^, Q# F: s! {
& f" ?5 f, H) G3 A% U- yGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 8 l6 c, s! K1 |! t# ]9 F! @
) g# m& e/ d: M4 p$ l+ ^% A+ l9 |Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
+ W- t) O, }' ^: E! }# |* ~, R; ]( K% P5 b' ^
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. - h0 p! [ H3 z' J% s+ J
4 V4 f' c% `# d0 ]" Y0 Z7 cSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. + n; y5 ~% m+ O b$ J8 M3 Y" c
- J) X1 w1 g8 G9 t, dWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 4 v( K( [7 ^& ?/ y
+ l% h: l/ K% |$ {6 }7 A6 S
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
7 L: n5 e1 T! _$ f& k! ]3 |# V' |# \
Pee.
3 V3 r6 N; l: c
2 E+ M' J. k9 b2 y3 I# h' LRinse off and get out of shower.
5 `9 i5 X$ B! I: e
; D& v( X' P- e# A" b) fPartially dry off.9 x! G: C( g* N5 t
) S% J0 D" ~. |
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 0 \% z4 i" a% ?: s- B Q/ X) A& u
& t. U$ J7 d& J7 l% o: C4 B
Admire wiener size in mirror again. 3 b9 W8 e$ H; Y- W; ^' e; q
\0 p+ l( n' I
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
/ t5 l3 o: Z$ D) S1 o9 H ], z6 n* q8 ]% i7 E! w5 H/ X. ?
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
9 @- P2 l1 c+ |, W# T" C+ X/ C
4 K5 X; P- r- O; _$ V5 X5 \Throw wet towel on bed. 2 r% p* `& r7 o5 g% i
7 ?/ g) @0 Q. x0 kIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|