 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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9 u* s( e+ {" |3 }# H2 o& PTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.% j8 F9 a: C' Z4 j2 I) v. s
0 Z4 T- I7 ^' w0 \: nWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 2 K7 l* {& T9 Y
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.$ [8 F2 a9 C9 | ?. u
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
0 u U6 w' }, p+ ~make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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- n: x. W6 J; ~7 U* ?5 q& }Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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. t/ f( ?; N! s$ F, v9 h+ RWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. . B9 J7 D. ]# E/ J" x% F
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.! s) ?+ G/ w$ Q
% H1 _6 M, E2 F5 x/ g: oCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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. [% \( ?5 E0 M2 cWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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" `7 E, z4 \' ~" Y: l3 R, DRinse conditioner off hair.
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: x2 C( }# w0 BShave armpits and legs.
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2 M' Q3 C1 s* g R5 R5 x0 ~" G4 |( MTurn off shower.. }$ v' [) e" M" \
/ ~. T6 S+ _- A9 A J; }Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. : c' _' ^" v, X3 F g
5 @$ n5 A5 D7 w! ~0 x: A# R; q+ _4 EWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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5 i2 Y! R0 x$ V6 gReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ! m) ^8 _& G( o/ U- c# d& c5 R
+ J( d; E* @3 A9 V; i- ^If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. & f! A6 h' E( t5 b/ Q7 Q( A
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8 B2 k5 s1 K; I/ M2 mHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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9 o7 j/ ?% Z2 _; X5 k/ ?If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. C5 t% z0 i; y# R3 `
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 1 H9 R* C6 q( H: S0 p
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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% Y5 q! W" W% TBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 4 {4 M* n8 s* \7 l
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 0 }: v4 ] H4 K$ f* l1 K' G
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. , W" O8 l9 J! S) h) Z) ]/ ~: U! n$ t
4 q) l% P5 N+ tWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. . X) h( {) V& ^. d, a, ^* f L
- F; Z2 m! @% F9 x6 SPee.
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2 I6 ?& m& H4 jRinse off and get out of shower.
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0 @3 A; l7 m8 @% H% APartially dry off.$ t6 B3 Y1 y5 @$ h& I
5 a7 t9 |' }/ i$ K `Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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6 S) C: C, J# P4 XAdmire wiener size in mirror again. , j+ O% s& K5 b" h& G
! ^3 T0 a3 P5 |, ]: k; H9 ?Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 3 c+ \; U0 Z* W3 }7 R
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. ' }# H2 S4 Z4 i$ T$ [9 d7 n
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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