 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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% ^' O5 y2 [% b+ qTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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8 V$ a6 I, \7 l! {- Y& n) P# J( uIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- & ?. N- r4 e7 A) ]
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.: d" Z$ s! o3 O( X" T$ a8 `
$ n9 b' g5 }3 c3 j8 s% mGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. % |* V B( l) M4 J. Q$ S/ f
" |2 M6 G7 d) V* h+ h4 J$ L& rWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. $ i; @; V8 T4 b( _$ H5 F2 a
$ w: G9 Q; L$ g1 ~+ c# T5 LWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.' V; |2 E; t/ i4 W
/ K8 @. h7 q$ k, UCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; `: B" t3 { g& U% I$ u8 _! L
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 8 p3 Q: z( ], m( K* Q
% v2 y% S. X% e9 c2 L# s( o& x0 sRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.( T% k$ e, _/ R$ f: S2 \$ i* q8 l
1 H- g5 [/ M9 L6 ~, g: }Turn off shower.' K2 A; v- |% o6 I* _& h! A
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.- m! i2 T8 U# N
5 M4 U- m) e3 aSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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, h; L' F% V- ^1 e8 LGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 8 l& X) N) F k1 [# Q+ R
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ' B! A( f% k9 ^1 ^' ?' l
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 6 ?) U+ n" J3 x) r0 s/ d' Y( l3 n1 }
( `9 J* n9 N7 `& S5 @If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: - R) `. O) W+ n9 n. ?. i3 r
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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5 r/ B" l3 L b3 B) K, p' uWalk naked to the bathroom.
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( E2 h: N) E' f& C- b$ sIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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- N7 Q( d% H5 `5 a- m& ]! BAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 7 c3 ^% T6 w. h/ ^' M: b
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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& Y* u9 r9 w# c; i" }* t% q" I4 JBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 9 d g! ^* G2 f
[5 G# x+ J6 e7 z; G% \6 YSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. o& Q, n1 }1 `: L% [( i
0 |/ L; G& t' }Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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" v/ w0 }8 k* c/ s$ M$ z* z. iPee. ' c R! S: T- X! n3 K2 U
' m1 J% d* c: G9 c9 _' v8 `& FRinse off and get out of shower. , z8 q2 N! ~& Z0 V& z8 |
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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# N, f, N5 |: G6 d, z# ~% q: TAdmire wiener size in mirror again. " J1 t+ n7 |9 k3 K
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. # Z! H) A) u- M
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. " e$ p d" N, t) r* c+ P* Q
7 o8 X2 |* G; h2 }2 C6 zThrow wet towel on bed. ! q% W+ o. d1 s& [9 e3 w9 T
, N' u Z8 A9 FIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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