 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.3 c7 S) k5 `$ {! f, T d
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ) ~+ x% F6 H$ d. a
) |6 ~' R3 V7 \, cIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.; B% i& I0 k% |, P% k
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
j' b6 [% l5 ~! }* `make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. + v4 S# e1 O. j- y5 T
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. $ |- a4 c# z- Z$ m
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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" U' j" l' Y4 J% lCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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2 I8 [) F% d* j$ SWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. * m6 x g/ \ O4 ^: l
# m, A& C& }4 ?Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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5 e& {. Q" `. _! _* K7 IRinse conditioner off hair.! o" O+ \( j( Z& {* F& u/ D
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Shave armpits and legs.( ]/ [! s$ s* ]: _* Z
! g9 o% ?$ N# sTurn off shower.
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3 k7 K2 ]! G$ @9 a& Y0 sSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.3 l1 X0 m/ {; Z! ^% w, K
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 4 }1 W1 u# C9 {, J' w
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 1 n( v/ Y# z6 \0 H2 f
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.+ A: q) H# E& ^+ J& n) u2 v% M. Z
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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! N1 k3 z; q, P ]! y3 ULook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 5 X: z, k; m7 ^* O% ?! [* l
+ x, |* Z5 v/ B, F7 _0 F" ]Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 8 U9 `- t" Q+ |: y1 f+ T6 j, u
) E0 ]" \3 ]# X) LSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. q: _7 A6 K) Y2 W# ~
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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e. {! d8 G/ Z2 ?0 BRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.1 Y, a& w6 U9 u
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. / U2 B9 b3 x1 O( M
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. % E: m4 x3 s; \ P/ P: ~
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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4 o: t6 Q# y n% v9 _4 |If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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