 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ' C" N* Q+ n2 b$ o. V/ o. w
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" z9 \* x6 f: bTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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6 E% C* ~$ N/ C. T2 m9 mWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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7 j' h# B0 V3 gIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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8 f8 S2 b7 z- ULook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 6 @, H9 T$ d& a/ ^$ K" Y- s0 U# n
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 D* h+ k$ l. ^; A8 U
2 _6 N# B1 ~, j- P9 \: UGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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; [! K A( k- z- E/ Z7 t. b# M0 zWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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& J2 v$ x8 a6 P4 b( K6 L8 AWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.& Q$ d8 L9 ?7 v3 X5 m$ ~
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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8 q; V9 Q- \. E ~9 i% ZWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9 x$ U+ b9 h! ~! z6 @% V* ]' e
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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0 z% \. L& x! {Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.1 p' P) h1 L1 _, u: x, Y0 F5 }: Y
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Turn off shower.6 ^( U5 m6 T3 [( G; e* X- o4 z4 U* U- W
3 h- ?# J+ f( ~) v: g% C3 YSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower., c' U; m' Z6 {) t, @0 p b
b! k# }$ L0 v6 N: mSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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- u2 {+ u4 g V5 C m4 X" q* vGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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) M1 ~$ T' P% A1 \0 V" CReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. . q( s- I: r5 V& a' g
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* G/ O1 z4 g N% gHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ( s7 B* c) p* y$ ]; d6 B5 f
( [2 b8 U0 n* x+ z" z eTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. # z. C: E% q/ ], O7 p% R v
y* L0 e2 G s. m+ m$ o2 ^# DWalk naked to the bathroom.
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3 s4 A' `/ h6 [ d/ CIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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8 ~$ U: m8 N6 J5 T+ L: e0 nLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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1 f- p+ J C+ F. E% eGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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9 K2 b% m; D" {0 l. C ~- YBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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/ S9 [5 F. s! B/ k/ b8 C. j& Q# @Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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h1 z3 R% w$ o1 W j6 F1 {Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. " L n1 C$ s. q& Z) y, @3 _
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 3 V. y; X" J% j
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. 3 a% Q) ` w! K0 y9 z5 b
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 5 Z/ v. k$ _( {: w
x7 [: `( s$ iPartially dry off.' m% t" Y7 E9 S$ X: q7 Q7 j& Z* r6 |
. ^5 p0 ?( W: k0 u' `Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( ?. L, j: p1 E' k) t5 I& g
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. " J# ^% \, i: F7 {& e6 a
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ! a$ y7 s/ G7 k% c, e. [! u; u
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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. G$ F# v6 o% f X0 z, hThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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