 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : . X- w+ T- I2 D0 Z* M
0 `) d, a/ O" O8 d0 O8 g
+ R3 P% N0 _4 {
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5 B( I" N: Y6 n
+ Y" u" G& f# @$ G& ?2 P) k# F# s8 g- T
* S3 f' K! \& v- j* r2 x/ eTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.' L0 |+ ~2 q7 b' }
3 Q0 L2 Z9 n+ e: h
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ' {& O$ K- B* s* I. B( j
! q' D; B! r& f$ L" C
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
; n7 g# ]" i4 m' }' g( q
$ |/ F+ C# R' c5 a* HLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 4 G I* O9 h7 v4 X0 D3 U1 Z
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
$ `) r' G1 [6 c1 ?
; M' Z( L) y/ H2 y3 J# _; CGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5 h$ g% ?( Z- |# }
; x1 Q( E" H' H
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ( u; s+ ~# X4 n/ A
0 L$ |& E' ~4 Q3 K* B# S9 m7 wWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.. ?7 h, W% W) ^4 S5 F; ^7 @! w
0 ~" B3 [$ b, \" P0 c0 X6 }
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
& t% b" _; ~! [- j9 f- Q- J( f+ d }" a+ F8 B$ [5 S6 p
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. . n. ]/ }7 h; x' i5 w# n3 U
& n: A5 k, Y# K0 j x
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. / n9 w$ D# \% c. i: k7 h
* ?+ [/ b; h. i7 D; v' k; KRinse conditioner off hair.
& J1 |- ~: D/ N! R' P
8 j! U0 S. n, ~ N- cShave armpits and legs.
8 v) D" x, S+ }- h b1 u
+ K- U8 @$ J+ o5 J$ z: ~Turn off shower.
3 t( ~- g4 f7 \% d$ |/ I- p6 T* |
$ T; ?8 [: }2 d; _2 {Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.7 [* b+ x/ M" x) B5 |; _
6 C# B2 @. A4 I. f6 R4 F$ k/ pSpray mold spots with Tilex.
( O4 f9 c- I: ~% P' ?3 e. ]6 _$ {( z4 m4 A
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
- s- T( L$ N' G/ q: N" B" W
# U3 F M( N+ N% B% jWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
2 ~) g* K* \' X4 ^% l; [5 b& G) p
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
* F- G) B/ D' A! P$ V/ X' [5 E' Q# w
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
# i. o- D' I( `) ]! P- e. S
( y. l. l; Y5 H6 G S) V: P3 c; G) D3 M8 x; s/ z
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
) ]. l6 g& K: h, z8 R
" d3 Z0 L/ \1 T) u3 j9 ?Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2 ]1 y; {! I( l6 |# ^- h7 O* M$ O2 i3 b3 f+ M
Walk naked to the bathroom.
- l( t$ p2 q0 C4 m# n
) ]' X6 P) R+ U b9 L& e0 \) C6 lIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
/ X3 Y( M* n6 {9 F, C
7 ?1 G# e: u- t" `4 Z- ULook at your manly physique in the mirror. 4 }2 ^, r a% `; }
! U7 y3 N5 u- f( [/ ~+ s i
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 7 A4 O) `; k9 @3 ^* ?5 V' z
- Q1 H& f1 e% ]- \7 \2 K4 BGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 2 @) m1 r9 W. e I
1 O& b. Y+ C j7 T! [& R( zBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ( T' W. \, u. ?
# w8 w( H V3 D# g; SFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. " v" b5 C, j4 h
- v7 N/ q3 U2 \: B$ N$ H3 w- Y
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
( z) @; c* ]& @. R6 o) U! `2 x* ]2 S
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
8 v) X* R4 r6 o8 ?/ D
" n5 P* h0 A* _2 C' |Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
& n, o+ C" I0 i0 E) P* M
. D+ i- N6 C) N8 K/ }" oPee. % f/ H: B) M6 e' _* O9 b
# l+ N/ B, C1 D) Q3 i9 I# R
Rinse off and get out of shower.
6 h- |( J1 J2 P+ j9 O
9 _% ^( v( E# U# h' ]Partially dry off.8 g: s) Y& r) \1 O! Y+ b
5 z) M6 N: N( o4 Y, t& nFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
2 W, I% ~$ `" H/ { m+ J- j9 P" ?$ R) X' Z5 k" n
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
2 V- x$ E6 [7 K, `; {" V
; N# O. b0 Q' w% j9 x% a/ g5 ]Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. / Z9 G/ p( a4 g/ D+ J
' _ ]1 o% P C( v9 _. \7 h0 S9 e$ p3 u9 UReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
& ^# b7 ~3 X9 p) ]' p0 S8 O7 A! w2 i& p7 ]9 ]- D, ~
Throw wet towel on bed. " D- `* O0 F" n5 N2 Z* ]5 L2 c+ Q
+ ^$ \, p0 f2 V- v0 m8 }1 NIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|