 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : * Z/ O2 B! G5 w% G$ d) y, Y0 o
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.2 R5 d) ^) K+ c- z" D5 ?& r
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- . m. J. o! Z9 O/ r! E
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.; q( U# Q! I% s+ F6 I k( S% Z
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 9 B' ^$ t* A8 I% |9 B7 F
# i6 w8 y2 f- ]3 X1 ^+ w( `Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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# v6 }7 X1 V% x* v4 U" J- i" \' lCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..% b7 W+ L( M r) A+ s
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 9 u9 k$ b5 k% f, M
7 e8 s2 z9 o+ i5 a" I- f" OWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * P5 N- v o' `& e- m* p+ V) ]
0 r. J4 F4 A8 ~4 iRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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" x* n" D( _4 v8 e, G6 v# zTurn off shower.
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9 O4 x7 O% h* [& V) d! ~4 OSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.8 Z% V h7 h8 @1 }" @
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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7 B/ k' M' y7 e+ N' h8 s8 ~7 DGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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: H( e, K. O7 q I. |% uWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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+ k; \. J8 e0 O+ \1 G' i6 ^1 DReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 9 v E/ c8 M. J2 C/ ^8 ?: i
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ! o! h# _$ L$ o% V0 m- C( `
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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2 o/ \) r0 d0 vIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. * d& U# U" T6 A& B
7 T/ n0 X5 A+ i0 t @1 hLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 3 p- {1 U6 s' N* _* R q
2 @0 K/ J9 m5 T( I( M2 u- v+ Z8 fGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. \$ k) h, _" k6 ]8 d
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 3 t4 F# {5 X8 Y! F* k
9 V3 A; I5 m( M, X" S+ ]Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 3 ]7 |: X; W. s: {9 W
$ z, K! E' |; Y0 uAdmire wiener size in mirror again. : Z' N9 {. Y2 z, _0 T
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. * M+ t; F& t! N3 q7 k) I L
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. " t3 m5 {4 `" L- w$ l
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Throw wet towel on bed. ; R3 M0 J4 G9 q
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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