 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.5 z4 y5 C, h- Q$ {5 w* ?- J
$ [0 L# X. b; _; B- MWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
+ P6 t7 {& @. i# T0 U+ U3 ], \) M0 |make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., h/ o& @' |" D% A! R8 x
9 ?) P" Q, Z5 D# t1 E' dGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 8 ]3 {: m" i B3 h0 i w) P2 ]
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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E/ o) g8 k% U6 @9 sWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.3 ~ `# ^3 f) h! c2 k* V
! d) B" C) G$ C6 jCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced... x$ z; F/ n( V0 P2 {9 _% L& x
2 n% H: M [+ E, d* _Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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, F+ I; E. L! |% T; i- wWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. . c0 I& v3 d1 p4 Z1 b- e8 ~* f8 m
# ?& C5 \ i& I- w2 [/ o6 hRinse conditioner off hair.1 G' x/ [9 I- F3 m
3 d& \' L0 _% y, B6 F; iShave armpits and legs.8 N5 i* ^# r- H
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Turn off shower.
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: X& A3 r; e% xSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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! [, ]3 g! ~" X) fGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. r% s/ o7 ~4 ] |6 P7 h
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. - s+ f: E2 o6 [4 w$ `. [! T/ `
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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7 k$ m6 Q/ D4 _' X3 k' xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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7 n1 d) s, R- M1 \8 @! c9 BHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. : L- M2 P% `) y6 n2 [5 M
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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2 N; j6 j B3 U$ T* I. kIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ' r2 [* k' f+ ?% d
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 9 H% B; I3 c1 m/ ?' w
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ( x- Y& B2 ^; ?" K# R
" J+ X% i1 H# j& |) ^Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. z4 J: l `9 a
$ R* g* u* [1 j' W9 K/ i- |Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 1 \& f3 D; j) R9 |
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 7 X* x% L u/ J' R4 {
) x* k5 y) ]$ ^3 x2 j0 z7 @- jWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. / Y: i( F5 z$ W/ D4 Z
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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" U6 q/ y7 Q0 o6 _" fPee.
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! G* g+ f- \$ |9 j5 WRinse off and get out of shower.
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8 W! |* o) l& |8 U, IPartially dry off., Q e8 R6 j. A$ t' w( M, \) K
: W. `9 _8 X g* j: dFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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: s% c. m+ q. e0 o- s% e' xLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 7 z+ ~6 Y; ]" F# \
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. - `9 c2 w6 m) W2 g9 O' g' J! E" V
; Z& L9 S6 M% U/ W6 ~' v! ~* RThrow wet towel on bed.
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2 `' C9 v) U# l* vIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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