 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : , L+ l/ F0 k+ {; l
8 {9 Z8 F L0 P! W
- }, T% f% J; w& n, f2 M6 g% K--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
& P h# E; m% D. h* u
) X: U3 K# X2 H. t
# w% p0 y3 A( e+ ]+ c) A( k * b, c5 B: I' ?* y
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.* E7 A! b/ a3 T/ J' R/ i9 @. G
$ o3 ]6 J9 `' p! d) GWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. : s3 K) d4 T0 w1 [
) n0 F: ?) d. f; \If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
4 |/ H7 K0 H. N6 Y' M! e
1 S* R0 ^2 l9 O1 N. X# HLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ; O4 n3 }; `" C0 O; i) J
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.2 F& D, F7 L/ I2 a/ P/ J/ Z
# k% w3 u/ @8 L j+ @) {1 u" r* k
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
4 @% R# m9 X9 i; Y6 ]- h. O, u& R' O& g" p
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. % m3 X$ b1 m2 K8 T2 z, b' ]/ K3 I
/ Q; q" f5 }8 a) X% n8 ^
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.5 h& T' T6 ]4 \6 f
, ~( `* N6 e. H& Z( e' qCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
! Y9 z8 T8 @; K: K
+ _& W' S, O! @, T* [Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
, ^0 A# |8 A5 [$ @2 C& N/ B/ e; h$ ~$ [7 }! c1 ^
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ' h2 j6 V9 }' ~! d
! I4 p$ ?( i& U" P
Rinse conditioner off hair.( B5 ]- l' K! `, m- c9 P3 A
: a' | p* A4 z6 b- ~2 w2 z
Shave armpits and legs.
, D8 h2 ~: Y% z# y
2 |. u/ w$ l ETurn off shower.
2 V" M& ~$ y) ?2 m% o
1 h4 m Z% j: F+ s# {Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.5 ]& d+ _+ N* L# V& y
9 A% b4 q5 s8 R) L
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
% m$ S8 b3 r8 X: \' ]# i
[0 I' W- K" w5 Q7 Y3 DGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 3 p5 I: z: v; r, E+ i
& x" w: i/ l" N& K. s
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ; P8 y) @& T- Z$ r; Z- z, w! V) c
! s% Q+ S3 k7 h; l9 ^/ _
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
" v4 x1 e6 N4 Y5 V6 `
# E1 ] M3 r5 s" A' BIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ( P& ~! C/ |# V. B
0 O1 g7 j9 }/ a% \: Q; f
% N9 K" |) z2 [5 B7 |5 y3 D( oHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
6 h1 \& R" l5 `1 a7 [
1 e; O6 H8 P; {+ r; sTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. / ?/ C+ ]- s: L& n9 C
: Q* d# n% k# y7 K, c3 [6 R1 O
Walk naked to the bathroom.8 E% Q" w% C3 S3 @ n0 ?, K
6 i, m, `/ K8 ], Y4 I6 k& ?* nIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. : T0 O2 D$ ^) I1 h
0 r' ]/ B# A! E8 @* R4 K5 _0 ?9 W4 N
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. - q3 d! p- P0 J" Z+ R
2 Z' ]9 p0 ?3 o- OAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
: F, ^- }- a. f% ~$ ]7 n9 \% M( T, M" s
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
+ I% f4 T, m+ S8 T) a2 A; a
7 @. \5 [1 s6 lBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
+ W* K C7 W0 C9 ^4 n! {& t- W- S* |
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. " I) x3 f. K$ u" L# h- d: _; S
`9 d# S! @& v9 J% j2 o3 NSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 2 Y" w# a. _$ R' C6 O( B1 ~
! I7 E6 \& g7 S6 C
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 8 {8 ]' M. \, \+ w7 ~, S
' ^* N O/ {) b/ E
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
* e: G0 O ^9 w* I, S4 V3 p+ U& G6 r5 `/ z/ v+ e9 [" S/ m
Pee. ' b7 l2 ?: [5 g
0 I1 e4 C0 Z$ Z8 P+ ^
Rinse off and get out of shower.
9 B, @% e0 \) N- k0 T( X! V6 X) d% ?7 s4 e' f, c, e
Partially dry off.
$ t U5 d6 y$ R+ n4 Q/ F8 ~
2 A) B) B( I! Z# ] n8 b ^% P/ NFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ! a+ `3 j6 q& @, o5 f* b m
, x8 L5 f$ A+ M8 y# }" J! `0 T8 N$ ~+ x
Admire wiener size in mirror again. 8 \6 }- y. p7 H9 |
. ^; [9 \8 `5 Y9 x: R) c# o y X3 iLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
4 K- P2 X0 s- k4 f% V, ]( H& D j: ^( H$ l5 z4 ~
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
6 b# S5 v' |) c! q- C- a$ A6 V1 p) Y' E0 L2 L4 _
Throw wet towel on bed. 1 @5 o& \: F% v( n: K
' Y! k" p& n: T6 q' S! h
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|