 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 2 l/ j; _$ l0 f4 V
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 8 s1 v$ j$ W, q" }+ t7 U, R: g
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.$ o+ }+ @0 l8 Y0 `8 {. a
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
4 r. X0 q8 R+ }) L8 Y5 w1 ~make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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. N) [, k7 n' r( |Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. " A7 b0 j$ n5 y1 p
7 m+ D2 i' F+ v3 TWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 4 t1 N, R$ Z: R& o
- V; ]7 M6 i% f/ NWash your hair again to make sure it's clean., h; f: S6 ?7 E1 B- h7 v D
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced... K+ X) }. i8 c
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ( `7 R9 \5 U" m! a
: s' e! h5 O; P& ~0 a* X. j* |Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.; G- y) L" b; X8 u$ U8 ]$ ^
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.: t* c8 q& d8 Q+ @& _+ s# C M! e
6 j. g# L, s9 R* Q& E* ]8 q/ fSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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9 H, ~+ `2 ^* a( ]Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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6 O. `$ z" q+ o7 e, B, C1 O4 |3 lWrap hair in super absorbent towel. $ s& @9 v, g& p8 _
6 c; a& E& l. H' C8 L+ i8 eReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: , U( P3 y. k% e; N* p6 X' K
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 3 X% ?7 k. u+ z4 _; f+ [1 g
, E. G H5 d9 n0 \6 zWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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8 X8 I) j2 j. T/ q6 ?) J' ?Look at your manly physique in the mirror. / L8 C+ d$ [" b: U
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 2 J0 J6 P) a! q2 }# ]0 e! k. ?; |* M
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 1 I% H' B, t' h
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. - h- ^" `+ z# Z) {! K
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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; F* }- d" r: P3 B g4 @% m) p7 BWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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/ r: g* ~: k! o% `Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 9 V. S, n2 M) G
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Partially dry off.* w Z& M. {5 l2 ~
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ! ]4 u9 ]4 j/ G A. e
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 3 d# e5 R8 f M
$ t, C0 _. ?( q* }Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 8 r) l7 a! `2 E K) Q
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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/ K- ]7 ` w0 |: s9 X+ uThrow wet towel on bed. $ ^& ^$ y& L5 y6 e9 r
$ X( \( C% i2 `1 z# {6 JIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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