 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 5 w) A, T) h1 }
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% z# i. u0 U# t" hTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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, N; {9 A* i- Q8 C4 D) P/ d$ y5 D% ?If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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" j( B, I N3 Z9 i6 V- m- N) a0 X0 N aLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 7 ?" T1 K: \# @" n
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. . w, z+ o3 A* {! F' W7 P& x
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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% E; l f. \5 w2 E( hWash your hair again to make sure it's clean., |7 ~( {; J1 K
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..* ]2 S5 t+ P8 [4 t. H
: L- m, z4 r; i0 ^2 T4 ]Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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2 [& }. D2 a+ I( ~- ?1 WWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. p4 ~% M0 y4 \0 j
4 a0 o; h: x4 z# h- HRinse conditioner off hair.3 D7 m+ Z8 q; @
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Shave armpits and legs.
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1 K2 Y- i: c& J! f4 d/ @8 S! xTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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5 }, U; D3 Z+ y4 m. D' _Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 8 u+ q/ f% K) H) s
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. , c; g& L$ L. o
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$ [: h; w8 B, }HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: / I" g; i2 @: H& S
' m& D, T# C7 V5 |4 tTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 7 B* q" A4 B4 @* i! d! u
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Walk naked to the bathroom. V6 S9 _2 c; i# ]9 P- Y
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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1 L' i$ L% u# O( I& _Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. # Q8 t7 o9 i& o# F q0 U
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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3 w5 ^7 v9 H: E2 Y5 JBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. / ^# l: [* Z0 `) Q1 P
- L- F* M' X9 f) m S& V4 `6 |Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. - D1 G7 s( W9 i1 a! ?
. X2 G( x+ R/ ^( NWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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& v: p, G) {4 ?+ U, ^* EPee.
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7 S5 Y5 \9 g6 Q4 PRinse off and get out of shower.
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4 z `. \+ ~& k7 {6 b" PPartially dry off.9 h# \: o6 f+ j8 R! U+ a
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. I' j- d( _+ a
4 y5 V4 u8 Y) F) F. Z5 f. {# T' b5 tAdmire wiener size in mirror again. - j' X: E7 `' M( ^) X
7 ^* z( c. g& lLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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; N( Z p* ~3 H+ Q1 }If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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