 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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7 \5 E* f) w" n: r$ b, s1 M9 ZTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. / }" E* X" k+ N% D. Y
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.4 ^4 p( Q3 S( D& {$ u* g7 Y
+ t( ~% T$ b0 @8 t9 L8 ]* ELook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- * S, @2 ?# m7 X
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.; Q+ X* ?- D& Z. f' U
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 9 F/ x& w8 d O: E
, d, W7 i ]( b- H; i& I+ LWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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! Z" W2 W" |7 x( S% ^7 ?% x! g+ zCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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& g/ p# _' E! W- HWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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2 C# |# v# C" L7 B6 O8 YRinse conditioner off hair.
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8 K; q3 w+ b2 K6 D E9 k# ]4 O9 R7 xShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.. g$ l) F8 ~! r* E: b
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.1 n( Q# y7 O Z8 {! d" G6 b2 }
5 `0 P$ G% H% ~Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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; U; r% F9 S1 T1 y! H4 V" uGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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( s2 c+ s" B& q' D% }If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. / e" h/ y4 p: C
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4 ?& S9 a+ C1 dHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.5 K3 u6 {' z! X7 u
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 2 ?/ J! a6 P' G; {( o; G
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ) J1 I( [0 \; x( W t8 D; Q" p
: |# Y) H# n( A- \) P: j. sAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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! P& e# |, D$ K8 W: U( uGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 5 Y b/ R( o; S! ^7 ^0 D; U& F
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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* Q5 o3 x# y# c8 D( r' ZWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. : C' I1 ?3 F" Y0 U
( G: H3 f3 K3 j3 XWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 6 R3 I5 G; q- E1 ~$ l; j# ^$ w9 C6 S
7 p l8 z+ W6 q& b* yPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off., z _# U# x" `* O
3 N5 x {7 p) |6 I( xFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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5 x' A4 L: |- j7 E# J0 L3 fAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 8 G _* ]/ i# j3 Z0 k, \" X
3 O+ A r7 U4 D$ Y: q3 TLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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