 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 1 j {+ w X4 Z2 \
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 0 ~* K5 r8 h1 r' n+ o( ?! c6 ?! o
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.$ F1 `5 q. w5 X* y& Q
8 v z( U m' E- u5 g) @Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- & C% q% ^( a/ }& H" F7 N5 D9 I2 z( j
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.. b) t" t! w% p% n5 S
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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* U% @- g$ F3 Z7 S+ f4 fWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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: F: f; l* K* }) y2 v) H: r- {Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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; j0 o% a6 c' H' n2 DWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ! X1 P( P* P9 Y' v
% ?( Q; q7 X8 ]; E k! K9 KRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.+ D$ o5 A4 w( g! G; s
5 F% J* h6 P. iTurn off shower.1 p+ U+ I9 F Z) k$ x
5 ^2 }1 R/ j' p+ Z) {Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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! @4 s8 ?% H0 P, n- SSpray mold spots with Tilex. ( T {: C8 p# M* U+ h0 Q
9 B/ R8 q$ o+ u2 jGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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1 O; h) i+ J5 b. r" f0 \# s, ~7 HReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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8 n) g( S" F8 lIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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5 [* f8 X6 `- q; RHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: % r5 b$ w' I; Q$ G# [$ ]1 G5 V
/ U1 F4 Y5 T# |! d$ }$ vTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. + M& ?# n2 o2 u6 Y1 F9 A6 |/ u
4 J5 L* `3 g6 V6 iWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ! o1 u% p- b6 x3 V% @" H* K
/ Q. c7 H; e* f+ H+ ~3 T# nLook at your manly physique in the mirror. ; F' v, w/ o6 \- F% O9 v2 X
, o) O. j# k, o j+ W( BAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 9 ]( e* m, ]- Z. M3 w5 A
( X4 u; V3 F$ j2 L* s1 G- G( D% d& Y2 nSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 2 D, o0 B% u- G. b9 P8 i9 I- A6 g9 F
- L T+ B% ^! g0 fWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ( D, s% }4 p! Q( l# i
+ d1 Q9 z8 l! C- |2 U; ?) KPee.
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" ^! |% e. E6 J1 r5 B& J8 aRinse off and get out of shower. 2 F( S W' T S
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Partially dry off.& N# a, i' Y7 M
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ) [% ~. _! x0 m3 ^7 I4 m
! y3 G1 I$ F, ~4 @1 E$ Z- rLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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; q7 D! U7 \3 ^2 v" U- c7 T+ f- x- ?Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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4 J; E% n' Q8 hThrow wet towel on bed. : B1 @) ?! ~$ {- I9 m R
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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