 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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j/ v6 n7 m/ |7 B; u7 u. xWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 6 j; J Y4 W; s- }& q
" l% E1 @5 o: b+ V- R$ W3 LIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.0 D1 D& F7 x) ]4 B5 F% q. C
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 7 ~5 {3 w/ u3 |# U
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 4 P: s7 s, t' u3 o0 t$ f* w1 V
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ) r+ G" `+ i$ R9 J5 f
; J1 Q h0 x0 f4 t. Z; c: p% FWash your hair again to make sure it's clean. j; F" O# x% \* `+ I4 k
# t0 V" i3 y5 @, t& l5 o( L( }! pCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced../ c" j, |0 ?" j" j1 F
' \* k/ O5 M( t4 uWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 4 H# _. ?1 {( n( W
7 T: R+ N8 Y7 X2 F0 eWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 2 }) t5 ]: `2 o2 l
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Rinse conditioner off hair.. z4 i; u; D( {: A2 ?. x
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Shave armpits and legs.
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: U" R& ?0 j) t& x$ bTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.1 {/ ?+ j% {+ ~" I+ ?1 U
: z: k# S; ^9 @! g5 y0 kSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. * R8 ]" u% F6 y0 o$ w3 E
9 D4 W9 k; w1 V1 |% N0 EWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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# M1 u3 c( P, _3 ?0 p3 ?If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. % ~4 \. q6 M' Z0 B$ @1 z/ I
1 c8 k6 F2 d jWalk naked to the bathroom.; ~. R+ v% l- n( T1 q0 O
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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. u9 m- m! X% D5 @& nLook at your manly physique in the mirror. * @, N7 ?* m" X9 `- u$ n
1 O/ H# u7 x- S& d$ oAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. . d8 [1 g7 Y- e
4 c+ i. H8 F |3 r! IGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 9 s- p+ {% J1 e* ^0 w" P# M
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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0 Q% }7 z- Y3 [8 X4 V9 nSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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% }4 D% C* @/ C4 r8 E& L7 O% EWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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5 {" N; }& b2 m5 pWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. , y. M( D. _( I
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Partially dry off.1 \, Z* h" b) F. y
& P% k& g' t: B) A x9 \; _0 rFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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2 @+ }8 @+ W! {Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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