 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ( V1 E( b+ e$ e6 K3 N; c. R. Q! N
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.4 w/ \" l- r0 R: I6 ?
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 2 x0 R* J- d. F# [4 p+ ~, i9 Y1 F
% h, S* l5 Y# z# ]If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas./ ]0 R* X) m, s$ F0 H" v
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
9 I/ A' F1 [, S1 t1 L' S. {make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. - w& z9 g! Y) V' ^
& s/ R w2 N# JWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean., @6 l4 `* q% _/ B- J& s
* {+ Y9 u/ ]. I. @) M' jCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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' ?: {$ X" w& B# g2 P8 OWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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$ w$ [% u0 o& w$ f3 ]* E" T: oShave armpits and legs.. Q( T% p7 Q, d+ ?3 R0 H# F& l
' U8 ?& o1 `& ?, [Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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9 A' i: s( s" ~' {% ]Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 2 b1 z( Z+ |7 k0 f
+ s5 a" Z6 T+ I& ]+ XWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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R3 q3 d; `8 O* `If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. - M6 o+ |! _$ S e
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 0 K F- b5 m2 m3 \( I, i U
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ' \0 h; M1 L+ y4 D
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Walk naked to the bathroom.* I! N# b1 ~+ p. C, c
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. : G0 ?# c. g8 W
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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, [( o Y( T1 U, H' jAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 2 m) L0 V" W8 t! H; y5 |* ]- p
* z& J8 O' i {# \Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. . t& s9 D: D8 J- h1 }, L- C1 V
4 c- |/ j1 k+ C i/ o! BFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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4 t. D0 N3 ^- i6 Z$ n( k0 [+ mWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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0 w' K1 Q% \+ W; pWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 1 P3 f! O6 Y( w, H2 u
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Pee. 4 P7 |5 C2 j, Z5 }
5 ~' N, [% f% l$ VRinse off and get out of shower. 3 o* L3 D7 c, u) o! [! C) K
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Partially dry off.7 y! Z# Q2 y8 A5 B
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. # H. v5 h# @' q7 B0 ~" k$ ~
* H& y' x! \9 J- m, QAdmire wiener size in mirror again. ' R% G- ?( b$ ]: f% I6 L- e' r4 }
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. * a8 B* Z/ G0 p; i6 R4 w
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 6 ~# s5 c4 ~; [/ z- X. F* k$ q
6 b0 f6 ~: Q" PThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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