 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- q2 ~' T" |: e8 j1 `
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ( A/ H; ^' r3 t R& G( I5 I
) ~' z. o4 x8 x% O! u& K8 n: [If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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8 k# R* B6 k5 I6 _$ j3 ILook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
5 d$ k# W5 V+ d& ~make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.0 X7 z# f Q- S# A3 {7 Z
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 2 I7 h4 m7 w( `. f
) ?5 E. v0 R; i. J4 |& GWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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9 J5 t- h8 _! N) W' H4 CWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.7 n( m8 f' x3 }3 U
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.. c8 z3 J r( o: V! q
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 4 f5 y K# [- | |5 u
9 k4 Z0 j8 g3 X, |3 R/ |6 U5 k ]1 @Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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0 D; N- ^1 l# Q) wRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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' T" t7 m8 Z/ c" }) ]* |- BSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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: [" ]; G7 }9 M. v: m4 rSpray mold spots with Tilex. 8 b# ]! y6 e7 Y2 i" e
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 8 `9 x5 m3 W* t" ]/ o- X8 |4 h
! R$ U" p' v, e& ]- {: @5 yWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ( {0 `5 Z/ i3 t. W0 k( u% E W
0 G4 L& m9 _" b+ e4 L EIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom., }# W% o5 \ @2 Q" B Z
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ) B( a9 F( N g9 Q% \) }' e: Q6 z
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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1 Q: _; T, l7 b, cBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ( V+ p# m8 T1 u
* ?* w4 l" n- t! q6 [: WFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 9 O) R( b1 X; C8 s# d" x3 C
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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+ w5 k9 {/ ?6 h* o3 bWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 0 f- A( g4 g& c5 G
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 6 \6 w: x# {4 f! y
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Pee. T7 X, p0 }1 _8 g7 z$ a
; z' U$ U& Y9 I( T/ r# ?3 oRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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V; ]" W( ^( u9 zFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 8 G; I2 p3 C- P7 B( H) l' `" S4 ~
# i8 ^! p4 y4 OAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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6 o1 M9 H& T& |& Z* J: G' x0 v3 G* XLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 4 z6 o2 m; m; T7 ]0 Y a
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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