 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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- e- Q M4 | j+ X# R0 O6 V: M$ _/ JTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ' w g, E& U$ x4 J) r
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.! }' R- Z' s7 w
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ; s% W( ?# z* G3 d& s
# g/ U Y$ B& B* gWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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3 s# n3 ?7 b+ Q1 {4 s: TCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..' H5 x3 R& D2 ^4 i9 j6 @0 F
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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* n {2 v) R9 M: t. B7 U1 kWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 7 ~: @+ d1 k3 K+ G5 [3 B% \
$ Z' S! x; `3 g7 |/ MRinse conditioner off hair.; ~6 b& W' X5 U7 Y
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Shave armpits and legs.6 F6 S& f6 X/ C( Z7 G
' w& `3 h3 [" p! LTurn off shower.& X2 T5 X" N' ^8 d7 X) _
* O6 _9 J/ k% ~( P9 cSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.4 ], i4 y+ F6 a/ V
2 b3 a- o ]7 \! ^; M4 aSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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' y0 h3 Y" `3 m3 n! x9 G; nGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 9 M2 {, a+ F4 X3 ]" A
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. + w4 c( r: m8 Q9 g! d
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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! C" [+ [- _" R2 RHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. W+ }0 l# i' S5 J w Q& i- ~
# \3 @. b% i5 w" S/ YWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 2 @+ H! t4 Z$ C+ u/ e! w# r4 J
- E1 d2 {9 y# \* _, q0 VLook at your manly physique in the mirror. / K" h! `; B0 r* l$ q6 @- q
, Q7 q6 P9 `' {Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. " l. _0 z6 f+ X- ?
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. : Q: e2 N) s& w8 f# z
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. % O0 d3 ?. C# Y/ g" ?
+ v$ B b- i; b+ j- kWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 5 f; `$ g: |! Z" d
! N% s, J9 L$ {' v: j) I& P+ RWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. * O/ A9 y) Y! x. [7 G/ k [. y
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Pee. 5 I' `. O! O* m
3 N3 z% ^- l# z: D% j) ]% tRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 0 W: O# f' B- Y4 v& I) L6 }
9 L2 f, s7 A5 q- T# L) M1 d2 l3 t) n sAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. q# o& L' f# j- u2 a ^; P
, R+ U# n1 A- g7 x9 _Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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9 N: y- D5 i1 j- z/ T; k6 D. i- NThrow wet towel on bed. ! _. O3 [3 ]. ?- N5 l; {
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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