 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 1 E% h1 r% F$ j2 d, m
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- a q$ I; [$ c& }- xTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( E: b4 p. D2 P6 B5 g
& ?4 J4 r$ @" x. }$ I7 \8 d, n' dWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. - E; h9 T; s0 W& w1 a5 `
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Y E1 _) J2 o9 n
% u; R- j2 L1 g7 w" `( ~5 wLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 8 \, r" u/ e2 v; S
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.; |8 R/ `0 D( b0 g0 ?2 A1 s
7 r' w7 v. w' D4 pGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. - H$ N, w3 U0 |/ h# z9 h
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. * e( U% I; K1 e& S
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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- D5 R* b' ]5 q0 s! ECondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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4 V8 F$ ~3 Y! A( v" Z7 RWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ' _0 S! Y- T* @$ P7 ^7 J
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 T! K: _! j! [( z, b3 Y# O
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Rinse conditioner off hair./ f7 C! Q! J0 G# I% @9 x& n( P
& \. `+ X2 Y7 b. |* _$ qShave armpits and legs.( E M' s$ r: @2 [2 V
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. v2 O5 h9 }( L& y0 {* t
6 I8 ^. [5 F/ Z$ t$ e DSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. # L6 d/ [: T$ ~1 b% P
, T8 D' {8 r( j; M- }Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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4 m/ x& e/ [! H: H1 V3 c ^Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. - s8 ^6 N( G, ~, h7 Y3 c' E2 C7 }
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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* C- Y- o1 b- C+ Z5 }: sHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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: U) O8 j2 h; q, n B( K+ mTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 4 s; O, V. ^4 s
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Walk naked to the bathroom.6 Z. [+ l2 F0 u! N4 g& R
/ I( R4 w6 f, q+ U2 w# w+ x' r+ sIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 3 c+ N) u$ u+ z3 u4 g, z/ B
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 9 y! V7 D3 @4 e
' K0 w1 b+ \- ]8 U1 [Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. * b% k/ ?$ r( b# z5 X
( l* J, b1 x8 l, M7 u% Y' |. EBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ; L3 A2 W. E& e* A8 m/ m5 s; C
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ( @% u* T. @# _
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 1 @$ `+ B; O) h% t
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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3 I7 `, T: H, F: B$ gPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. ) N; ]. G5 |" O8 a2 \4 B* H
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Partially dry off.! E2 x+ i! R5 ^/ a
2 b' _! Z: f9 w4 {; t8 r( bFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 0 v8 P. M: [$ [( G- k
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 4 }+ r. W# X- G& Y n# u/ S
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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