 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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- K' y+ s0 r, _6 L: R& y% rWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ; {+ I1 u- C9 B/ N' S0 ]$ k; V6 e1 M, c
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.. w5 r% A& A V |% H% |
( X8 |" u! o2 ]7 kLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
}( y4 @2 H$ J4 D( d& [. Tmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc./ V" l; t% Z4 a. {( X/ T1 Q/ w8 F
. G1 |$ y! c) t# l( o) o1 g! sGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. # r, m3 w+ M# X& ~' X2 l
$ g& G, U" z* l3 |' i2 d# T# @Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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1 o; u; b. c0 TWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 2 D$ s4 {8 I. n8 |1 ?. [9 A
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Rinse conditioner off hair.9 F! A0 O2 _5 D( B3 O; a( N T
3 t( M E' W# y7 Z0 KShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.; S. Z( o8 |( V w5 e
; w3 v, c. S; |( [ s% |! sSpray mold spots with Tilex. ; m, a7 s7 Y) T5 L
$ h8 T. L& \! J8 m+ nGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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2 O$ k7 ]1 y" ?/ s0 g5 BTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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5 ~$ s z/ J: |( r& ?% wWalk naked to the bathroom.: c2 ]8 r7 Y7 Z3 b; Z% j
( X# U* v2 r- HIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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. M! P% n& w, O4 vLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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- p/ c: P* F. n& gGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + ~( w9 K# T# O5 T
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 4 Z: n5 E% J1 s( [8 G5 S+ Q
! ~2 s, g$ L9 Y% eFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 8 P3 @7 r2 ?) k4 X3 H
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 8 v0 `) Y c* @7 ~
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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: F8 e7 C, z" S; B- EPee.
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@& t. X u; v) w- u. n; nRinse off and get out of shower. 2 F5 `& R9 W$ q& G- h
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 7 `) h) M1 \( w! ?% n* }
, _2 n% n7 V4 J& v: z: IReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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* q5 a* ?& Z3 V8 P+ h3 `: X$ YIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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