 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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7 Z v% H( I' g3 c" h' b+ E/ }5 k' MTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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C* E2 }0 I% @5 P# zLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
' e* p; a W( E2 {% R3 C7 s" Kmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.6 ^+ _/ A h4 V) m* c5 }
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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0 w' ?3 G- g& vWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.; D. [& G4 B" A8 t$ m0 N. h- n8 W0 F
: L# N3 G, ~; [! B& e+ v! eCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8 l1 L, M9 p. ~: i, _4 g* U
& [. m$ g- [3 e0 i' C$ C9 i4 uWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.' p5 Y$ i6 {) z) R
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower., s0 k3 A6 z- {
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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2 y0 }/ t6 h2 bSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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% T7 y# X4 t2 W: I4 iGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * Z3 O+ c6 F# F
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. # k5 c t; z" {4 u! f0 ?
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: % f. W0 T. K1 K
3 X- @9 q+ n" `2 iTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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+ e, x. b* u: k7 s- LIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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% X( v6 w5 h# f4 R) ^/ q f FLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 7 d+ K% e# |# ~: v3 s9 I
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 9 ^. F. |' a0 k
' R% s6 Z- i, w5 f( t5 JBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 7 J9 e! J6 Z, K) c
3 }8 Z+ |$ x( o% P. SSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. `' n: B1 {5 J
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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# _4 [0 S0 y5 h' E6 HWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ! N, `( m$ }$ o
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Pee.
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- {2 v& E" P& P- RRinse off and get out of shower. 0 l8 J4 u- p8 _ m$ b3 C& W- R4 K
3 S; O" X. b; H* fPartially dry off.% u. V5 t. o# W& t2 e$ R1 A
- B! R3 l( r/ gFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 6 J; L. f9 A5 |3 F$ l1 R9 v
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 6 w E+ D& O" f& L; a7 W* p; w
& y% m7 T; H! W3 V! p$ D: ~9 xLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. $ r( ~% ^/ T0 c( R4 y# O
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 0 X6 `3 p( n" z& s
) b$ `! R) r- BIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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