 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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1 F3 _: P' M: `3 c6 r( ~4 ]Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks." a7 m) D1 r( u$ F$ V" X# A2 R
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 4 u8 [9 E' ]8 b% T
6 i' O. v* @! @# M1 kIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas., y0 q+ W3 @( m
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- , Y$ I8 B. r9 a
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.4 P- z; ]; c- N! M
; {4 Y; E4 C7 I4 o( c4 {$ tGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 3 J$ D; P U; C3 {" `' {
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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5 Y* ~* m7 c; [# q; l! Q8 y( WWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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3 H% |+ C9 m0 ]6 AWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.8 z' O7 Y6 v# r. s2 a$ N, ?
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Turn off shower.
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+ D$ m- i" F9 p8 ?/ W3 u& M- tSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 7 \1 e, [# t/ j9 U2 b; K; P
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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6 V( b' O1 s8 g" E7 N, nWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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( V8 e( U; I" z$ u! P: ^! ZIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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: ~% _+ Q6 v% ]: E2 rTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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- R# s: y4 A6 q2 n4 g, S- gWalk naked to the bathroom.+ {0 m) C [1 d8 R5 g6 ~. w
Z2 [/ V, S% F6 w& Q, HIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ' a% B: _, j C
3 v l- w# w/ h! GLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 6 `9 a1 \8 K- t+ U3 d6 s! U
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 8 a7 K8 ]! i% z" A% g5 r" P0 n: i
* S* Q: P2 W( z7 ?Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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8 o' p7 n4 q6 t- V0 o/ fBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. " l3 d' X- C$ Y/ ]$ h8 K2 F5 a- q
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. : z4 O) c# {1 C2 W. p" ]
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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9 Y) w b+ O( q4 a" `Pee. 5 b; N8 [: {: ?% D7 E7 O! P
+ ]+ |& f' n& h; {Rinse off and get out of shower.
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+ b/ w* H3 j( j& t4 J! xPartially dry off.. F5 d7 } W) m, D' H+ ]4 V, N- \
# d- j% @# A$ r& w6 X rFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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$ |1 Q% {4 H. r5 ~6 F7 W: Y* pAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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7 f' Z) N' g7 @( pLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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4 f. \: c1 b) t/ a- VReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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3 X& [8 _/ ?( ]0 M" SIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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