 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 4 m5 _- I2 s& |" u/ [8 g x. F' L/ d
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks., E8 y! F5 r% ~. e7 I) p
3 |9 ?4 S. P# h& j& V2 IWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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3 \8 H2 U |: P1 M) G" [4 GIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ( l* m5 {; n9 g
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.) w: P) u$ f- [; }/ R& a$ k
0 K$ M" h2 G9 J! s4 d$ mGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. , d M/ R2 L4 U, Y
$ j- W) f% J" H5 @0 TWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.4 k. w0 n( _% Y1 ^- h6 U! i
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; }& K: _* |& [" d
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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: U& l2 V, {( M( w+ m' i/ N* P2 G8 p; LWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ; _4 Q7 v# c+ m9 n7 m6 f5 t# j" J' Q7 E
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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% e. [& h+ t' ]0 IShave armpits and legs.2 V; G S0 V! @4 d- V4 W
8 V2 Z p1 a |: E5 @Turn off shower.8 N, o) Q5 n2 ^3 R" v2 z0 P2 Z
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 9 w$ i F) W* T8 U4 M
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ( m$ s' y, W; P6 Z& B9 W3 [9 w' G1 c
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ! M1 X# T( [3 X0 O: o. F1 S
$ W5 }5 e- ?) f1 YTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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6 R& ^: {! Y; {# ^- w! cWalk naked to the bathroom.
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8 G$ W) K6 K" O" d+ cIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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# j% T3 X5 p# q1 Y9 L% m' `" WLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 q- U* X D# k! O& p/ m( D' g0 M
! k+ @3 R' |. V; w' v+ CAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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# m6 G+ N! `$ D" hBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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1 l- n* V+ T( g/ ]: s8 l) ^8 zFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 6 e+ L$ b) R$ p" ]2 m
" i8 y6 F. ~1 ^Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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3 Y% ^4 W; P8 \0 ^+ y6 u3 `8 I2 UWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 9 B5 S. b, P8 _- k" v k
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Pee.
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/ n' R% v% p# }/ _ C. {Rinse off and get out of shower. 3 n* M) @+ _9 M! B
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Partially dry off.
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0 S, H9 }- A3 y4 EFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. : i( ^/ E' x7 k8 q. M; ~* F% J
: s3 i2 |0 h9 HAdmire wiener size in mirror again. / N# [8 M# N2 [/ R r7 g
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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/ W- K& L( O3 R# @Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. & q1 V6 W1 t/ `: h I2 }% u
) ?) L# A& K) m1 v, ]" K, `Throw wet towel on bed. 9 R* o5 f9 D7 {* E9 g- o! K
' X/ A3 h. l* d% q9 c, r. wIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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