 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : - o9 d; S4 C' |) V
- @0 H* J1 r$ ^/ Q9 m" n
" a* `( x9 K# w! i& [% `--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 }# Q* b3 c0 w' o' Y& t# R6 I) I Y- V# D3 Z) l
" e8 t5 X" i( N h! ~5 Q& s
4 M* V) L2 o/ f. j; qTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.9 E1 Y O! z: S
4 C& |; q. N/ r
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 9 P- ~4 R6 l, {, p- Q$ x
6 `# U+ j" O' BIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
& U5 u0 S/ n9 p5 E
& W& j: J* ]+ ]% O1 R. _Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 5 `1 h8 e0 g/ u! d/ v4 }, P
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.- p0 M6 F1 f: p0 P
# d5 Q! R9 K2 p/ d/ @7 m/ l
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. d- S) Q0 i! p+ v
0 H* h9 W1 I1 M; D2 u9 ^: K" sWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. I& y k. s& X
3 Q( H+ H5 T$ ]; K
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.- t/ l8 _7 S* B
/ O: H7 t! _. m' N7 Y- L. WCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
* |% Q9 B; r1 A* D5 y8 o4 t% z" A' m" N2 ]+ h
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
% W& L$ e6 _+ @8 J8 k5 }* j) d7 j* ]) T9 P% ^
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
4 ^3 D' y6 i( P/ C, F
9 C( Z: W5 K. X0 X7 xRinse conditioner off hair.
5 |- | l1 {) S7 R2 N, r8 b% d6 L7 `: ]4 x
Shave armpits and legs.0 D& H0 L8 R" F! T7 Q. e) H
3 R& }4 {* k1 u% L& y; O
Turn off shower.' c* Q, H3 ^. G7 l6 ~2 x2 A
% \* t2 l9 Z- O- u$ h/ T3 OSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.$ T5 O4 J9 t: y+ s
) `1 b6 v3 H" ZSpray mold spots with Tilex. 9 M" C$ J+ h0 |5 H7 J
" J: n3 O& W1 L
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
, d7 m% B/ o O. |7 n0 T
* Q; W0 H3 T; E+ ?6 lWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
: M- ?* U) J+ z+ J# q9 L
/ m* A f6 v/ j5 I3 uReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * V. c7 [$ A! s2 @0 f3 \7 j
4 b$ z4 U$ q7 x! j
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 2 g, e. w$ U w
2 S. t. a. B9 F. w) ~, M' X3 O
* e9 a& J$ z" [' ^+ ]HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 2 L" l) T* [( W$ L7 p+ b
2 J, ?7 N$ J9 K3 u# H* BTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
9 _& b9 J9 ~/ r6 Q- |9 F7 v$ j* N- d, S0 A
Walk naked to the bathroom.* z9 o/ n& H+ W! z T3 o
) d2 `$ A c0 c( G
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
' `8 E! X+ e! _5 F& w# |2 u6 p. H6 Q. Y5 R B1 d9 I# W
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
u0 Z2 z4 b, r) a, ^+ {9 D9 v3 F/ |/ u! J
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
+ R1 y" a% {: r# A- i% z9 Y
4 _ S' w0 }& C ]$ V# rGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
- ^" e' I9 b4 G. C
4 f" j' a% S4 e% ~7 @$ t$ I1 `2 wBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
& g& K! c+ o. P$ I" i7 n4 I2 T" S: o3 n
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
; E, I: M! [3 i5 j
9 T6 ?& Z- \3 @3 P- h/ KSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
9 l# H# D2 ^4 X/ b0 H# h
" ^; G t* S" m, ]Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
( i: G4 v) e8 J; l X2 [
* V; I9 d0 [9 n: z2 tWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
$ Z" g( t$ [: R0 L8 ~2 J- B% p# J& l2 l6 V* u* b
Pee. : N4 [# z* ]3 q- ]3 s1 l% U4 H
& e; P8 |! z& F J, c) F6 P
Rinse off and get out of shower.
9 |0 y% _; U1 i
% i( k3 p/ N- Q5 L z1 _+ jPartially dry off.+ p8 @* ~ a- {
( R8 I1 w* b% P0 p5 RFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
/ _& s2 z) P) {7 t+ f. C
) I4 V# q; x# D- l, W/ |Admire wiener size in mirror again.
S& I6 f2 _* ]: T _. P9 F
, N1 A! s# h4 t- }Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; k: p8 }. b5 P
2 `8 ~' H: w6 X
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 5 T8 B3 X7 [4 p4 Z
8 v7 N* I! w3 x1 uThrow wet towel on bed.
* |/ o- j/ U6 `6 G- A w, Z3 h! e \$ G+ A* Z2 \/ \
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
