 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 0 M, R L/ c; d4 a4 W8 B
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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% k0 f5 P& ^7 e9 ]4 [Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. * d1 A2 L5 E% F, j: L) k2 x+ M4 x
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
1 Z& |. T( E$ n' v, U3 Tmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.6 \9 k1 t9 H& E- y4 F% \7 R! V, }
! G0 k, A) ^1 Y: J0 R2 PGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. + ~) a! H7 ]1 c9 g5 B$ H
# ?1 |. Z2 y: ^; D$ y5 W/ X; R( a" \Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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1 a2 G1 c: k" \% [4 u+ o4 |6 gWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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1 _5 x* c9 W/ p7 ^3 cCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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5 D$ Q9 U' V( b7 @Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. # B% m3 B5 o9 H( g* y9 X! o
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Rinse conditioner off hair.' f0 w. G# k) K% u8 f( t
( r" A+ H, @- Q$ R/ z* C3 eShave armpits and legs.3 ^) P, d7 V4 @0 Z+ y
3 B1 K* `$ ~% ]) C; Q8 q- zTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ( q0 M0 j' p. ], K) A' G) }- G8 m
( R9 \: n* ^ t7 g- d4 }0 a& c" TGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. & X$ D2 u" k" ]6 Z' V" E
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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, X8 T, K$ K- K3 U' o0 GReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 6 `$ H1 J2 J0 ^4 T! S
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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3 W b3 {' a& X# m9 x: K; M4 WHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. " R9 m0 E( B7 [' r# j, b# e: x
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Walk naked to the bathroom., K+ [$ ] S+ J4 b( H
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. k. A% ^- l$ C; I
/ G% v. R8 m) {3 w' qLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 1 n6 b( M) d6 \+ m
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 3 ^' d' _- D/ O1 {2 c _! K, n
7 T7 Q9 Y& f: ]/ s" k |Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 5 d. V* Y3 u3 e8 h4 i7 W$ @
! o9 v+ x! L8 C! b$ Z4 uWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ) {. f' E- }0 Q$ {" {1 u
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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( a# t& h/ f! \% {# EPartially dry off.7 Y1 B( s9 `5 Y! [% A8 ~) w
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. / P# @$ I5 l% b6 v, w" F
4 P# z! r6 o) T2 c2 @2 z5 eAdmire wiener size in mirror again. + B8 y' x' i/ ?* \) c6 I
- p d% ?6 [ DLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 6 i8 [9 p+ ~( [
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. . l' j! E8 y& K6 |5 N; V% \" i
+ X$ @6 G* G% {4 kThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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