 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : " }: U8 X* A# x0 C0 L
1 H/ b; p0 G7 y2 x8 Z2 ~7 B; `! J6 `0 B/ [
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------: n6 m. ^$ G, V) i% u2 H, |. Y, h0 Q1 I
0 e2 E2 _& z3 c( [" t3 D
6 s1 g7 U: I7 w* z( v: t N
' k/ i1 J; d, {; V& M6 \Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.' r3 e1 f* ?5 V* P0 r4 P
, X* B% N. S" o9 @& k
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
8 l; m2 x' S: P% u' H% ~- o2 _' e! v0 z+ X
; v- K7 l3 l1 q% t* uIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.7 G& t0 u# r" O9 Q2 S: M
) J9 R( v( I7 h5 K6 B/ Y! bLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ! t% w8 [# Z' J( a; C- d6 M
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
5 P. @7 n k+ N0 y3 f1 A
# R/ l, A. ?; AGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
1 w# U: ~" `% v0 s% i* I3 ~( n4 p& M3 U; L% O5 P2 [: Y5 _
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 5 _- k6 p$ z8 f" r0 b6 B2 D
1 y" z% F- ^" R2 H2 gWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.* ~& ]" J+ l8 g
' r' y7 M# @& y7 @& D+ @
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
- V0 N9 ^3 G6 c
0 u0 G6 h& N, ~& R, ?3 C4 v# u( ZWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. . Q( Y) J: U# t: m6 B
4 X0 I5 G5 R; y$ C m4 C4 }
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 }0 K9 @! V$ G q" A
! m H1 K/ |1 ]# R3 rRinse conditioner off hair.
5 T' s3 l! i5 X5 F
5 k" h |+ K7 q0 @Shave armpits and legs.
; {' t6 ]6 j1 O5 W9 W
) v$ ~( m, h7 j5 K* r: ~Turn off shower.6 ?0 f0 H# r- H; E
& z; q2 F F! ~, N* W0 XSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.: F k' [& y6 C! q5 w
, Q1 s- Z, T% S; z6 z- s0 R* E; a
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
- h* N; V' ^7 i+ n! }2 A/ G1 g
1 j, m: o' T( N- R2 mGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
7 ?9 h: Q' ]; z! g) _8 u- o4 U. ^6 v1 \- V" k9 }
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
* i% X5 s7 {8 R$ i# Z; U$ A' J2 p5 P% L. G. d, x
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ( m! ?+ u' o; ~8 z, z
x. ?) b- b8 a: S4 s @: eIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 1 `. o; ^* o: a+ e
& t) X" y z+ Z2 M
) U S3 B$ \) C! q6 T0 s' R* G* V
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ) D; O. p$ g# ?' |) B" S
8 o! ^' H/ G$ i- j
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
# i0 K! w% g. r* t* z! P, x# [
3 L6 i7 k+ n) d) S" u: x g1 G, HWalk naked to the bathroom.
0 z" u% }0 \6 V- M* S, Q2 C+ t( z& b7 w
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
& l' L/ s( ~- L# x
1 C- @) i- _- v- OLook at your manly physique in the mirror. H- z$ [4 j6 D1 x% R4 ^
, g: ?2 U: r/ `( H- r1 n
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 8 l" |" G3 s# E T, c `
& ^' z. M) _9 gGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 8 v, M- N% x2 o5 X' @; U
* t/ w+ {0 v9 j5 T
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
4 @( \+ G4 w# X* o* q' A: u/ P! r2 V6 \1 E/ K; P- S( B5 p- l
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
8 r& k) n H# b, [: Y5 e% @6 c4 s3 Y! e5 {) S/ O4 f1 v
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 E" K* m$ g ]3 j+ y
- W, T! Q, Q1 f- s" w" X
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 1 e1 ]" f8 \2 z: l. y/ r
! d' l9 Y: B$ X/ t& I+ SWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
# O& P$ \+ P9 X/ i2 j% ], a% R* p5 Z9 g. l$ [& N3 l( Q* W
Pee.
) n! h+ m, D& C4 F0 o: m
7 W" T& Z0 f' @& n i3 L+ \Rinse off and get out of shower.
# s; ?! x }9 d. N3 {$ h
8 A5 F# V0 `8 T+ K3 ePartially dry off.' H2 O. B' I8 k! q$ x( {
3 @! Y0 r4 o4 f8 p! s, j# lFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. + x! A4 Y1 ]# }, Y9 G9 K3 _ E Q9 e
9 X0 J9 X8 e& l1 O- `
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
: `+ B8 L/ @: Y5 g; F- n8 t3 _3 m4 I* S0 D
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 1 w' y5 v$ [2 |
9 Q, H7 h; a' ~4 G- n+ ^Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
% `, l9 x$ g; R, Z ]
$ @& U9 H& T( S. {8 gThrow wet towel on bed. & k+ n8 p5 h. q
$ m$ V% }- o7 `2 q2 EIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|