 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( z! X# \4 J8 a# [
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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3 o# x0 w- q1 S$ v8 z) G8 M- B; XIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- & ]1 ?! ~; t8 ]8 g, B* L
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.2 k: y& T! o! d5 l
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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1 r6 p% h' p; z; v `0 J% D2 UWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ' z, G: r. p6 r: p! E( g7 Q) s
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.& e# t9 \: b- D
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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% d/ M& R1 O1 j cWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. - O* w3 Q+ [, m+ D# J: z0 h
: m* P, f M0 }- S. }Rinse conditioner off hair.
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4 `1 P6 r- ^# v1 L9 q2 wShave armpits and legs.6 ~8 o2 N' E" W% [: Q/ {$ w6 ?
\4 ?! p; l( {: q5 O qTurn off shower.
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+ y3 F$ P" Y# ]3 o5 r; ~Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.& y3 t$ {5 [8 l( ~! o
& P& H* E; |5 d* H; vSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 9 H& h- X* H! {! n' e" k
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" K+ f! M6 X! t, bHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: % S! s% E5 R( H2 `
0 P' T' L" V; e) s) WTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. r4 W0 W2 e6 \! {$ E: z
3 @/ N2 @4 R4 Y% t! g0 J) sWalk naked to the bathroom.
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/ f+ H6 H2 T' H' j4 I( f6 A0 r$ VIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 2 l- {# X1 M" T9 W/ B/ R' X
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 0 P- s p% j+ Q: N. V" _/ D
+ Z4 {# P2 v5 X9 [1 w' D9 e( \: \! pAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. $ s- \6 P8 a7 C/ V n6 l/ k
9 l% S s$ }0 C( S, j$ t1 _Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ! G, i) B# k, }" y# c P3 n% H
" d% w+ h6 F, {/ M) C" J2 KBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ' f7 A& c" i0 t2 l
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. : }( T+ P5 r! R# v
; ?0 a3 U4 V# H( B `: ^6 sPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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, f' e! D6 \9 V) Y3 S7 B7 oPartially dry off.1 e! W; ^2 D, O% O( x* W
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. # Q0 I+ d* Z- w2 z. b
$ r Z, N6 s. P% a5 P% WLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 5 c& w: E9 X. h1 d% l
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 4 e5 ~/ Q w6 k- t/ n
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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