 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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- o/ F, g& [$ K/ u/ tTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.1 C7 I* G- }" ?8 d! L
; Q \3 G, p! D5 |Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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/ p6 j. `) H, n- T& bIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.0 G. m$ k( l+ {+ |) V5 Q0 ~
: c7 P) B1 I! q. q& P6 S7 KLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
$ d! ]8 j" v7 @5 emake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. & |: P) O( r+ g" u
. A2 t, P0 R) w2 f4 j1 KWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. $ i: T( [& _! I' b
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.# Z. { R" N: d& c; i
4 e6 D! l8 l$ ICondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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- H5 K. X/ R& ]6 L& f: UWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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& b; Z/ `) D5 ` K' [* EWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.1 U6 E5 M- z3 q/ E
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Shave armpits and legs.& _7 @9 j0 b: N
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Turn off shower.% ^+ k4 _ i; X0 _3 I% Q, W9 [
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.( ?% q0 x! n `
$ t& ?. I$ u0 U: F$ f. ^5 G+ uSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. % j* ~( C" }+ a' s1 X
& W# s! @* o" b9 }: nWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 5 K8 y4 [ ?& K4 c; |
8 v r# M! f) ^! x% j; x* [Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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" u2 X" v. h2 T+ \7 d0 s h- s n' LWalk naked to the bathroom.- B- r; u1 w# H
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. % w# Q5 S+ g& l- e' C1 {! |
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 7 ]- P% T" ]+ `6 I* l; K
% |$ j% \8 ~& d! b! @, H* Z" bGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 5 B% n6 A0 a3 z" |
5 |4 w$ w8 R U( v5 m8 ]3 \" ^' D& ?Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 9 k! j# n {/ O- E
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. - a6 F+ q" y o( h# @
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. : h) Z) y, m3 z! M s# f' d
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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% z! n* `5 T6 j4 b2 s, E# p" v1 sRinse off and get out of shower.
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: D- B# V( C4 |9 v- A9 Y& mPartially dry off.9 L# H o- U( J1 M5 P
! M6 l5 d' W7 [% L# E2 d: h$ NFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. " _) W' O, ^, r% d
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 5 O/ O/ z/ V! a4 _9 J" t
( K v; }" i, ?: G y- n- ^Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. . E$ t0 ]/ C( [ M' w
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Throw wet towel on bed. + E" ]" i; A" `6 b4 \" a) E8 A
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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