 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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" Z9 P+ Z- y1 i. ]1 w$ oIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
- ?$ y4 ~$ ~8 c b2 S+ Wmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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B: C. J/ N5 L+ WGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * R6 F- ]) X% ~9 A) v9 J
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ) f2 T c6 V9 }4 y! b
8 ^% h* V, H4 K7 FWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.0 ]2 }3 T/ P( S0 M7 |' ^
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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5 t" b* h$ g. I( E' @, YWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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7 _9 @% ]0 _. n6 C# ~; a# t9 DWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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0 H- L% L4 E9 y- iRinse conditioner off hair.! ]; D3 L0 } O8 K1 R7 b, [8 w; [
) `( i5 P# x5 R y# N8 i; e+ WShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.2 C# ]9 Q I: }. j P1 u7 b/ A. F
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.# f3 e) M0 \3 F4 m
- q+ @" u2 ?# C; s4 H5 RSpray mold spots with Tilex. & T2 x; l' p I2 C Q, E" G0 N: h
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 6 ^) l4 n S/ v. j+ d+ W# Q
3 d) D: X* o+ N) \( CReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. - w# i7 H( z0 m$ f2 ]- ^3 q! j
" o1 Z4 A/ Y, Y9 G0 K9 cIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ! S7 d; |) L' g
3 ^8 L5 }/ I: Y* w3 L2 y8 KWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. % U. J F2 F3 V& Z" }
3 c) y- Q" M& a1 YLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 0 [7 h$ ?' a8 d- T; p
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. $ o/ Z, e$ Y0 [' {! W. D0 m
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 6 ?0 ?- e" R. |* t6 i$ i0 c
3 n- i$ I0 A/ k+ `7 N+ X( l5 J# rBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ! B# U& I3 j2 y8 E8 ?. Q- ?
, w. }; h4 I" s: [' l3 G, wFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. $ a0 l( h g2 K% H
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 0 H {: d8 f, L
! W$ U: H: X9 {Partially dry off.6 J6 k$ m7 g4 s9 M6 l
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 4 Q2 }5 ^4 k# L
$ t8 ]4 M" e5 G5 E V* P0 t5 p( VAdmire wiener size in mirror again. $ V6 W( j+ Z9 m- \; f7 l2 m7 T
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; _! S; s0 v/ p9 U( e: I
# ?4 r+ J5 j: ~) D7 rReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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