 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 6 L4 ]% Y$ I* t- Q- n8 S! s0 ~1 ?, b
! u5 I/ I! W) x( T3 D# i
/ N, z$ Q/ y. O" }: \. @--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* o& `( |1 N( G3 E S. I1 O) f( g3 P9 A: V, Z
, Y/ @7 _, Y5 ^6 G0 W' m G' {9 \
9 \& C* _" ?' I7 ~# N ]Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.( u0 q9 y5 C/ D
( d9 ^- `3 y9 g+ B {, o7 X
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. $ u2 \" F" i3 E* G& D
9 I% Y; B( Z2 d# G$ a7 G
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.4 t/ ?: n* j% v5 k: ?( N
; V; k _6 A% P, |0 M4 `
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- + ^7 g/ I! e- s1 k
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 s5 U! Q0 X" J# J, l) W
, Z7 |! h5 w6 g* u. R
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 9 o9 S2 E& F6 A% N! d/ p8 Z" |, ~- q
3 K. O: B& T3 y6 K# L3 [Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
9 }2 D( l6 J: ], d3 ~
2 M# d' T) r7 a& r, `/ O+ fWash your hair again to make sure it's clean." m/ N0 ?+ a7 M6 i$ [+ c
. G& p# y& ~6 K; x: R5 eCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.., ]5 T9 n; q/ R$ [/ U5 v
% u9 H! t4 ?3 X0 B$ w
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
! A; o' H# w4 ?( S4 n0 y0 z8 W a6 L, C" N& ~
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 3 n- ]8 @+ f7 K f
) |5 c/ E. }, M# E2 h% [
Rinse conditioner off hair.
. d7 Y% o0 U& k% ~+ V+ }
9 e3 U- o* ]; RShave armpits and legs., }+ F0 \6 m/ X5 n0 c; b9 S
3 o( \' `8 R1 O2 N/ c
Turn off shower.
+ q+ n; L c8 {8 l' o
" y1 T# K c% CSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
. H: P, E- V- u4 G( ~! `# W6 Y7 a8 g+ P( W( G
Spray mold spots with Tilex. " t( G# e0 l/ O9 G
1 v: [5 {; r) R0 V* N2 }: W# `! A
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ( J/ f6 s! L3 f) q2 b
; m( O) P" [1 z5 |( _2 S$ H4 {Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 5 A0 u& {: M% Q. c# q
3 F3 O. H6 l* I
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. . X. \! A5 g0 \1 n1 Y. O
$ d6 r( Q% C: s$ a
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
+ r: H! J$ ?/ u1 p, Z2 W
- r' d% K9 q* u% |8 l- n! ^& e1 B. U5 K5 }( [
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
' `' ^5 v3 | L g8 O+ N \
( s4 q( a+ _* u# [, H2 k. K* n+ QTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
: w5 u( P$ v' a. S4 k2 M8 t; @& J. {& j" c0 x( w8 H% b) U# x9 w
Walk naked to the bathroom.
* t. _1 G% p. V* P9 S. ?0 b" B& O& T* p" [8 k }
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ; |: }, N& I% `& H3 C9 A# v
- z8 G7 y, V- e0 S8 [" ULook at your manly physique in the mirror. : o- N" ] N4 N) m' I0 Z5 z+ B
0 I- X$ V, @ |" R& I' xAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
/ J# s' b' E6 P, F/ T- f. B" T& `; J- S4 i, I# ]) p
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. - y* W" }4 ?$ Z8 Q+ l6 p
' S! |& h6 N% q* V5 }; MBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
* J' Q7 w) z- ]8 N& Z2 o# y# v9 V; [7 S4 k0 a2 E
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
0 m% g( r7 Y- g# n0 {6 x9 u/ K7 K3 W; J3 w
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
# Y1 _, b+ ^% h% V
8 c2 k9 P; `/ H3 _9 H0 ?8 nWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. % Y6 E: a6 u& H& Z: ]0 Z
7 K/ W9 Z2 K3 s H
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
/ {0 X; ~6 j5 n- G }" }! d9 k
' `/ }5 H6 K5 TPee.
% W0 l9 m; N; _4 k' W o6 }6 u8 X; v
Rinse off and get out of shower.
+ l4 c Q4 d2 K2 w9 ?5 `2 \' F2 U" q+ a; U4 f2 V
Partially dry off.% b o0 j& v8 P
0 ?$ t( ]3 ?$ o) U
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ( [% ]5 L* m. L: |$ k& e
4 E* U" X- n. O* B5 Q" J
Admire wiener size in mirror again. 1 g6 t' B& x' j7 F
/ Z# \ V" n% i* J3 O& _
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 1 {; d/ x ^0 ?- \ \0 V0 d
. e o& w6 X" Q) H* W4 e
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
& V2 n) Q% t1 S; w6 u5 C8 y! ]( a& j l2 M8 ? k' i/ _, Z) u5 Y
Throw wet towel on bed.
5 @) f, Y0 [& S9 [4 p) E! c& y- M: M0 S% C' _0 O, Y
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
