 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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! {1 V" n; z; f3 V4 i: K) @Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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5 Q0 \* `& n/ ^. f/ S+ rWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. & ^ J7 M: o9 P/ c
5 B3 y W8 u8 C6 LIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
2 p. m" |1 C8 W3 Q8 \, pmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.$ e) e1 m7 j; q' D& O
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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1 b1 X V9 u2 l$ i- ?1 V- vWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..( y3 w6 w* ]& l8 ]# P4 Y( s
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 7 W% i& G! ]% w4 x0 I
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 4 A# {4 B0 y9 i
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Rinse conditioner off hair.7 h* H2 G) G3 H9 P: ~
3 [! c3 d- A, T! v2 K0 MShave armpits and legs. i( B! Q; h6 I+ D) T( c
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Turn off shower.1 x3 N5 n1 a n; Q
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.! i' D, I3 l0 q/ y5 x9 U/ m
5 \ v( G6 ?, G. ^- A9 D$ g$ U7 YSpray mold spots with Tilex. * A( l: Y) ]! f- r
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ( B% P8 f% z) k( b& ?7 P# k, C
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ' i1 s7 T* s, I0 ~3 u' I
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 8 d5 }5 `4 P: ?0 W# O3 g, H
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. . a+ e) a4 I, I. ?9 F& a: q( q- ?
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8 J3 u0 z, |) A9 y) Q8 T: Q8 oHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 N1 B, H6 z4 A; L; G U( G
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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( v6 o+ [, n% k/ z# fIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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& P. P& B. ^6 z+ w) BLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 5 K2 V6 `0 f4 k# n: b
5 U. u) O; l- d6 h( Z) mGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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; [* g. q6 e/ s9 _4 H" M; D/ e! TBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. : T2 I3 D/ s" t0 i- ^+ G
- v' v0 r% |& a0 t8 V* aFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 7 [4 |6 y2 \" n7 x _8 K# j
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 4 H; e4 |- _$ q. e) K8 X
/ z- E) Y. z5 p+ I3 j, ZWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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, ]: s5 |) V& @) aWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. # ]2 g% s2 f: b0 w
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Pee.
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6 K2 i" [# N& @* F- x1 U7 l- RRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.* c/ v/ y6 s0 o- `+ C
' s# p, w) Q' D" {; }Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ! h2 l$ j( c E4 C8 M8 b: q& [/ l6 d, o
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ; v3 Z6 |. C% o8 ?
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 3 b, T- f4 t, J; w
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. - l7 T/ [9 D- A2 `, J& ~
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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* h% d6 o6 i! L: |# kIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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