 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.6 w" n ~8 E+ f/ b. l
; b' D' D4 N' @; U0 o( O$ o/ W KWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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) P) v+ E, }( L) ^If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
) F, P- [- c4 u% ?/ R% V) Gmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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) u' A: R" G7 P0 _: d `Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 3 i- j5 ? ~+ F% N
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. * I) u. F6 G; ^& K8 O% a
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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3 @2 F8 B. v4 C& ], H; F9 {! Z' oWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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' p4 M6 \3 Y# q- T4 y' f' `Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * O6 C ]( W) @1 o6 [6 J; O
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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0 t! y% X+ S6 R2 s) ]Shave armpits and legs.2 u# q! |' s+ K, a1 D8 h
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Turn off shower.9 x; p, d# T* J. v
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.9 A9 s; P' s- o. Z8 k( T
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 6 z4 N* u+ F! D
- J$ y$ G* @0 y4 z7 ?Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. " ~# D. V8 p+ _5 }
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. e* E% k! @/ Q" v! X% _8 H
, l$ F/ J* q& o, l) oReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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! ~; |: {* j4 r, F* r8 AHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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5 ~9 y( W3 S4 P" ?* wIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. : E& G% F4 K: x9 `
$ ` I) [5 v3 x+ E: Q) [0 R- h' r P6 [Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 0 W# Q/ m' F/ k' O+ R9 c
! M' L& W/ r) L& U- ?$ wAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 0 G8 _' b S3 _. o8 F
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. # E9 j: A9 B& t9 M
6 Y- T* n0 L8 iBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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" w! C$ \/ j0 S6 s5 oFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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+ U" G- O4 D* Z5 [& `3 h/ x# c! vWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. / E# y3 `- f% G% ^( B
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 3 Q' |6 L, y; e7 X8 O- X
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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2 L* I2 q! S$ i( F& sIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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