 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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4 M- ?5 X( j9 C$ K: S# @Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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' C% `# m; _; @2 lIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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# v0 ~0 n+ C+ }% ?( G! B) XLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- . B4 K8 e2 a6 z, y" v- E$ ]3 K
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ! f0 k4 L% O' f' Y
5 J; o0 Y3 C% Z U/ d+ hWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. " T- B" K& }& T7 E
' S7 w* h9 t( GWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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; w$ V$ _7 Z" _5 H3 ^2 FCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 3 z7 y4 ]9 c- t# N- _
, |, `# q0 a3 o) J' jWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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7 p! q, [. n3 q3 f7 O4 {Rinse conditioner off hair.# o* l- \" ~# j# Y
: ?( `( i! E- x" j- C; t9 vShave armpits and legs.! L) Q% I; f9 ^ e8 ~. d) }/ {
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Turn off shower.
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. k" H1 D x8 e, d3 H& E: ?: P5 WSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.2 G/ Z; Y; m5 ]( @+ D+ U( s0 Z, o3 s4 _
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. + o" z( Z+ o3 f, k4 S7 c
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. # \7 T; t& T: c/ S- T, K
6 D% C4 p% M* ~Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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8 k+ O6 D T/ \) F' PIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. , d! o1 c: _4 E# b% p4 }0 L
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 9 X/ o: E/ y! B% Y
' [5 \ @: Y- O9 ], B0 s+ rTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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" n' b+ p6 T( ^4 _% RWalk naked to the bathroom.- ]1 K& M* w& b0 d
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. $ W. R, G9 `& A3 \- d4 o; X
( ?1 Z; [% E) vLook at your manly physique in the mirror. ) u- s( e" l, g1 U
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ; X& N/ }/ i, W
4 W& b O7 ~. }: y( u3 {9 n- R0 ~Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 5 z* K% A' X1 y0 J" {6 A& h
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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* I2 z* S! j8 y( ^1 C z6 cWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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# z5 x d% v2 \% eWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 4 ]/ h5 z' j+ f4 o5 ^
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Pee. ) N& p" r$ }6 W$ K, D
# a" i4 y3 Z/ x ^. `1 R; DRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.2 e/ o* t+ |0 W
6 N' Z5 p5 H9 m U+ zFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ) Q( O/ ?' o2 r3 L
* A. Y) ^! {1 ~3 {Admire wiener size in mirror again. ) c5 {) ^- n- v1 I" n
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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; A j% j) D7 _# ] `6 B# [Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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0 `) o' ~* ]2 ]- t2 \- [Throw wet towel on bed. 9 s" e/ t! w2 {/ p4 Z
8 d6 K2 |* ]6 O: ~- W( G& N JIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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