 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 2 r, M7 `& Q+ a) L9 `% M i2 X7 u1 U% l
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.! D, @, ~# h" o7 b: A! O8 i( z
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 9 A5 _2 [* B7 Z- O/ B' P- M$ B
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc./ y9 J3 ^6 g# q4 i3 W2 B
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * L; C/ [# L7 S9 j& E- ~
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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. \1 l' ]9 C+ M" k, |2 A6 aWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.1 Y! q" ]- v, R3 b% _
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..2 b+ b; b& P, z- @: D( k, {
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8 P8 O5 x5 H# D& o, g2 R
" q3 @0 p" p } Y5 `Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ' P& A6 m8 R. R
* M3 x9 o- \* y9 U0 n0 {" G* XRinse conditioner off hair.( y$ K5 _5 n3 v) w& s1 D
# H7 A6 j% B! t# w: l/ M: jShave armpits and legs.( j" s- R! V g% P- m
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Turn off shower.( X/ t1 H5 m: C' ^9 h8 Y8 S
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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* B' g; q, c; [ l0 Q v3 c" iGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. . I4 o Y% `5 a5 v/ `
. T) b! J5 a8 ]8 s+ GIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 1 F" [" l- ^: i6 P, U
. _( q- t: B5 E/ _, qTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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6 ]' O) L! [# VAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 1 `8 `1 w5 D8 @4 z/ A* }
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ' y k, J) s1 ~+ p
7 s$ y0 x' p6 o3 A5 NFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 3 T2 F& y% z9 n( ?3 q3 M
( H5 B) o$ }, K: {- ISpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 0 n9 y: |! g/ c. h4 z
; M. d! w& |/ O# y# d! @) ]( dWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. " Z8 F8 G. Q$ V8 P( I
. D- L$ |( n7 D7 d* sWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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- x! @+ q! t; Y" A' f" K" CPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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+ P! h, A; j; k5 ], r: hPartially dry off.- M5 O" m& j o1 h
, k. ~: G/ j# F* T0 ?Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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7 Q7 D5 Q0 l% z6 D4 aAdmire wiener size in mirror again. & C# p V) g+ g( [4 i
. m- z7 s9 E; B" l4 n: C6 cLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. / ^4 M: R. t, y2 {& x
% v/ q8 ` v$ d; t: @Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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' B' P) z# r& F& i p( o0 `Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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