 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
; f( q* u3 V/ @0 |/ d( h
3 t6 `- @3 p8 I( a9 ^+ t M
2 P D$ _) f9 N: {" ?: E-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- {; V. p1 E- u, b0 H
" M' j* j. ]" K' _' O1 v# I5 q1 V
+ S) G+ A/ w }( `7 f0 S
( \1 c+ D2 y6 ?) E+ z+ h- o
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.6 F. m8 \$ s. H
) K- [% J; L) Z3 S3 n( cWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. * W5 e2 \8 V' }8 V' T; l) J
/ w- U9 m! n; r+ v% R, i4 t$ `
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
u" _/ w% D1 h7 `0 P d8 M \3 P$ i) m8 C& f3 M% T2 F% _% r0 u- d4 t
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- x* D3 n6 u( i# a2 L, P
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
5 r! K8 D* D5 Y* `9 ` ~+ _7 G0 c7 G5 M" `: R1 D6 W/ G! h4 @. A1 g
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
4 h) M/ `0 B& m; R" o) K$ j4 u1 G9 o6 K: \
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
; C# ?' g- _" S" b5 L4 o- e+ i- h
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
1 `% a0 ~$ Y1 |. \2 g0 B5 L+ t4 B+ Z5 \4 ?4 J
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
+ ^2 j; d. f5 E. {* h$ {; u! A {2 K$ D
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
3 E Z6 u7 N4 [6 J8 u- G \; ^. o. Y, y$ I% v4 y7 b0 b' s
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 9 t: \6 g5 I' w; R" L/ ]( Y
* e' ? c' f! {; W# G3 _Rinse conditioner off hair.
|! i; u) g* I) z
: k# T% \, U# \2 e4 U5 RShave armpits and legs./ |# m: k r( P J
% q" p# K9 a- L( n7 T5 Y+ S; i
Turn off shower.* l2 T& l7 {( h/ g3 q! B
0 ^. X8 b t+ c! W, Z0 FSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
. m9 p: n1 {& W# g0 {. i( _$ d2 U
) J/ g2 e- U8 [6 D- x& xSpray mold spots with Tilex.
4 x6 q; _6 L# t/ {
9 L; Z# v% F5 }; G1 c6 {6 _( k" aGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 0 ]6 t1 u, g: E6 A
' T/ L, X3 A4 n# z5 y- i; B
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ' P5 d' E% Y; ?3 t Y$ J9 A
: l1 s1 j* _3 }Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 1 u2 f$ |1 L( C6 l+ E
; i6 ~) |) b3 _- ]. l) ]
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
1 ~4 K6 d0 r; H
' ?+ B0 F M3 |: y. F
! j. z8 o* H0 V/ d) v* D9 `/ {; {# `HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
9 W: U+ }, q6 `" Y: q" L, w# s2 m4 C5 k
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
9 ~: q8 u. o) c5 O- y/ W
' U5 Z- \0 y7 M: xWalk naked to the bathroom.+ H" s' W( Q- }5 |+ ^
8 ~& k; \2 v* A' i
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
* J4 ?' @+ X* b/ i, E0 v6 y, W3 g" M+ Y9 ?4 T
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 3 L3 q/ r' h& v J
: k% H4 M, v/ U" Y) ^1 cAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. . _6 r) e8 k6 [( h
" w4 k e W5 A1 rGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
& p# @1 L& W/ X7 g
$ f2 ^* r# i7 ]3 {4 @) o% \, b8 UBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
% C4 W% I7 H9 b2 y ]5 S, i6 ]2 [# S. ?# @- X ~# @
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
$ c6 X, q2 K* R7 ?1 S5 q
+ |. U. e6 s$ M4 V/ `% jSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 3 q% V0 p3 W( M+ v9 \
7 D* P6 U. W- D# T+ ~, C5 l
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ) d7 g! h" {9 f7 _. e
% s0 G* \8 M# U4 v& z' }" h9 K; uWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
: z* _7 d; G2 ?3 e' v# E. r: s, V( f6 B
Pee. - ^) M, m1 Z% C/ v
' w1 R/ [# R0 R0 J9 v* L7 ^Rinse off and get out of shower.
8 b" O' D$ b* Q! Z, o
% Z; ?5 J3 Y$ ^$ X- OPartially dry off.* w2 k) {( `. t% c& P% Z1 h' y
& z3 V- i5 C( S- n9 C. TFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. . k' n3 l5 A" c! f% g: h; x
: v& I" q1 o, FAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
$ S8 L6 _) x- p" ^) i* f2 {0 h$ q. E" F9 e) s1 m7 K
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 7 X6 d7 l) W$ H. m
! B. T$ K+ E9 ~ s8 ~$ mReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. # R. R3 {- v" o7 Z! [. p
8 r; Y1 E3 {, ~# X% \& A
Throw wet towel on bed. 5 ]4 g" h% r. ~4 E* P5 R0 ^$ a
" O: M {' [% r% O) ~
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|