 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- + V$ }. d0 K$ z- x% a
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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1 ]- Q% f- {" m# m! ?! JGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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! H6 U- b9 k( `Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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$ W, q, e) A2 s+ V( ]Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; n3 U6 _1 [+ N: o3 S- ~
8 n/ T; F* s3 k* QWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. - |% A- V! y' A/ a9 \9 |0 b2 }
% k5 \9 c7 ~ u: }, NRinse conditioner off hair.
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( W4 v# M. |; Y8 z( EShave armpits and legs.! I* o! u& E) a* ~ D- `3 U4 `
7 {6 [9 m) P( W2 q+ R5 oTurn off shower.# n# e* o* G% k# O( J+ @2 z; |
Z" m* X. I9 j* YSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.0 {7 I* D- E+ S$ q5 Z) d
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. * V6 b) d; A0 d
' A+ j0 ~3 k6 T* ^Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. : I! D* Y1 ]% X- S% }( P* f
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 2 K* {) v9 C7 J9 v) j y$ L- U- G! _/ x# u
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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* F: S; q$ F& s8 M' C9 U" N9 ATake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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m) }3 Z4 a" l+ h& J, N& NIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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- L% f5 H! V& a/ O6 G- sLook at your manly physique in the mirror. * h1 H) l. A' ~. c
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 9 O0 d8 x4 S( e+ d& x$ C
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. # G+ r d- m/ E0 a
7 X( |4 r i' m4 v4 xBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ' {- p; u' L4 T' h* G+ h
+ e* p$ v0 E4 U/ G% V% YFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 3 |2 Y! E8 q& M- a, Z$ u5 A) ?
, [; ]) H* J9 j- J: V& g9 r) CSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 4 a7 A* e+ \' c5 f
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 7 |$ x$ a X J
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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$ U; r \0 f. z. @2 L* C; zRinse off and get out of shower. ' a# B9 @ X5 Z! `. E& c2 x
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Partially dry off.* s0 G$ Q/ B) R: u, u8 [
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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2 M( m. B- h: t# JAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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6 Y9 o+ H& z( f& b& lLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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$ T) F2 h4 J' GThrow wet towel on bed. ( \" e( [9 T2 B+ Y! y& R
3 `! p0 S% x g. _- F5 Y E# S- M1 jIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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