 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : $ g5 H2 g" B% C3 i# H; \
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.+ Z! Z3 q3 f3 z1 ~
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. % q$ p- [" w8 I, q; j
+ z# n, o; B' [+ O9 ^" }& Z5 nIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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$ p. C5 ~% Z* C" m" }Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
$ I/ J- r! N% z" T1 mmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.$ v7 y; a y' X9 C$ z" g' L
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. # z% m0 D T F4 o$ c3 y
, \$ a0 |7 Z) q; S! j7 vWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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# _" X- O; \- x7 `: O( h& iCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..: I5 G; Z9 v1 }9 n6 _7 j
% y7 p3 h. F: q1 G) D }/ N9 I# fWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ' O( s* J- g7 ?
! j8 R' _$ D# `" d% aWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 2 j$ n' o/ A6 h0 g: l- ?: l: A
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Rinse conditioner off hair.2 ^! L* Y5 D2 A
. K( K, f7 Y4 z) ^) t6 EShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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2 [1 Y% ]1 p7 l! w/ sSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.) b( S; j) X7 q
6 F+ S- }: X$ F# XSpray mold spots with Tilex. ( x! a" p) e7 | O* w4 N$ ?2 y
9 Z2 g, }& q4 U" Q4 ?( s/ lGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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4 j! `3 v0 D- O# |Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ( h5 r H# ]* `
. ?' d/ z+ p6 J0 I5 xReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. # f6 f( `, }5 l8 ]
5 q2 U/ C1 [& J8 h, x2 b: aIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 2 w6 C0 P, c$ ]6 f' S+ s" k0 {
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, w; z9 S- p& _( @' P. O. lHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ' q2 j, U( u. d; C# V
9 K r0 Y( B' l \Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.' J! z7 z; f }* a
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. + d0 D) b+ K, ~' J( x
' V1 r2 U$ Q- \/ s4 H# ]+ MLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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( V7 f- f6 ?, z! S' `; ]- XAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 2 y4 M, G W! X8 |3 b
9 Z3 O1 p8 C% M' F: FBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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* ~/ }3 D. k% j- X0 o* vSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ' `& _( d) [% l2 p8 r5 l' c
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ; t% {0 I* X$ H; `9 W) E! u9 J
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Pee. # f, n+ E6 V- f1 B. M/ f7 l, D2 b
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.( k; G F6 f! l# h! j
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. + m6 F; k5 x) m$ o5 H
+ Y# g Y; S8 x. @Throw wet towel on bed. 5 s' M- X% w/ v O" U# S
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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