 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : + y% W/ W3 |* ?+ y: D8 G
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.0 r& M* e( r2 t: Y# A) R
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.! ?% C! N V$ E e$ |
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
A3 w9 A6 H& L: \$ \* B9 K& \make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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m& r, M5 d' h5 |# N* JWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..) W1 H# Y5 @2 G& y3 d2 }& {
C B5 U; }- @) _Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. # @& e f' D- b' |
/ O9 a8 v; t* G/ p2 d. WWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * ~. Z$ N; V6 e7 ?) R; f, G. U( V
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Rinse conditioner off hair.4 s) u1 N5 x" G* F. H1 }
! B/ a" s( g: MShave armpits and legs.: w: _8 a! {! o; B
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Turn off shower.& n5 g# H7 q4 Q N
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.: I$ Y: j( O2 Q/ ^) f+ N* b! z
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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& h' q5 _3 @# \. i, yGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. . [3 E( ^. L+ R8 |; V
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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' ]+ q9 U0 g$ p( j6 IReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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$ d6 E, s- g/ a8 o ?- oHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. " x9 D1 L& U R7 i$ {7 f8 L
' x* J1 F7 x# A0 F* q# K, H& _- ]# e5 cWalk naked to the bathroom.& b/ V q" K* A
7 M, G }4 P4 O/ k: {; KIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 3 t$ t r; Y8 r* `6 i
6 a, f1 }6 i4 q4 bLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. - [; L5 N1 M% z! @3 @
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ( K5 |3 h6 Z+ b( c9 C" g& n
- k! V, \+ n1 K4 o3 @Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. $ C6 e' H: F7 g: K
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. $ K0 W+ g- S) s8 W7 ^2 m
% B/ R( {; [% K4 MRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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! _3 |8 b" j* h/ g( F5 vFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 8 S. w F( d# R
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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( W0 W6 \+ U6 R" Q4 D. Z: B, ]% OLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. / T7 R+ N ^7 V- F/ P0 G
9 i6 O& m* ?+ s3 {Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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