 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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, i8 {( K3 t) T( k n5 q+ ]Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.; i, h2 m+ g5 D
2 o, I; }# b# e" Q8 _' MWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.# C/ h8 t9 W" B9 K) W# k
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
3 h( r$ L7 t" zmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.+ T W8 q, p; \$ Z% G
( b# Y* ^, U9 x( q- d8 U9 C. QGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 8 [& G8 n d N) @
6 ~" c5 h2 b$ l. g( C2 jWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. * D2 r# Y- H! O' S0 n3 F5 F
6 r1 ?5 {: {1 t; TWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.1 P- v5 Q7 Q+ W
1 Y4 a$ _4 H& e9 O; f- sCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..& O/ |* q2 C) I# y
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. - C3 P1 l/ A2 W1 ~
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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! n9 I/ b4 s5 f3 aRinse conditioner off hair.1 s4 g2 X. ^8 s$ W4 S
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Shave armpits and legs.# e7 ]# ?2 y8 \1 S
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.$ S+ u% o8 k! ^( }" F- w
?. ^8 [4 n( z6 GSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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* V* w: C6 k( X% |4 ZGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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( @ a n# p k2 D3 _* C7 \! hWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ! G, E v; ?. L
6 p' V& z6 C: a" sReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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5 w, f" U* n8 z& r( A; LIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 8 I6 g* D% w# u) f' m
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ! @! Y6 K7 }( @! G/ C4 L1 N# \0 ^: V
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. : D1 o% f8 z/ ?: g' [
% v- t& V/ \6 d5 yWalk naked to the bathroom. V+ Q2 }# F) f7 T/ m) x
/ C( Y" ~0 E Q) u% HIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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; q) i, C5 }6 t) mLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 c- h H8 r- ^9 {! t0 J
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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- C+ G# W. b' t9 [& rGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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2 M% A8 E% t; D7 M; m. w* \Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 2 ~; J- i( k5 [# h, z$ W
6 l9 r4 `1 ~7 K( {Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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2 ~3 b; e' t# }5 c: x! ^) ]Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ' t- g* k) ]6 s0 J% @. l1 ~& G
! [3 `* i: u3 Z! s: s8 k$ AWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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4 G0 {4 m6 H+ D2 A- c: r% O' _Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. * @1 D; O5 [- a9 J
* ~' B2 d5 A/ q& Y* X+ f: ^Rinse off and get out of shower. 3 I3 l3 n9 k; x& x
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Partially dry off.
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! ?; T( x! ?# O1 z' M# W& mFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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; b" W3 x! O8 n1 rLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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- e- |2 v) Z; T6 r1 G( qReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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( ^8 A P( V5 B4 ]+ {Throw wet towel on bed. - _+ a; H! J$ I: `( ^
' m% Y) U% @, \2 cIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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