 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + [4 h8 y% C8 ^7 d, X
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.& { Z% E. `6 u* ~: U* F" g7 e
* S8 m9 i5 c' @7 c; E9 XLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
* B9 |. W- P |8 K7 a/ A( U# zmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.3 u* G) \1 g* ]- E" T! i8 R6 {
: k9 c4 H8 Z) {- C2 H1 ZGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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c: m: E8 @4 ^; fWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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4 d7 Q) k' X) B/ a, B' I# Z S$ TCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..7 f! z6 F1 n/ I4 @* K/ Q ^
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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! [4 E9 E R) c; L0 w( cSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.' ?4 R3 b" k% \
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. f1 s9 M% y% ^5 p; _
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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U- }$ h8 T' S6 \% V% BWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ' f: O. F0 ]' C, @' w8 x' ?
! s; M/ u2 G! E9 {If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 4 I6 H6 b5 q- }% t5 T
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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, J7 G7 P1 h/ U4 J ]Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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5 I- r9 c5 N) dWalk naked to the bathroom.) |6 c+ s% \% U8 f7 y
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. * E& M5 B- p; j. P; p5 r( t
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 K' r% G2 C( }+ ?
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. - T" ~" d( V4 L+ ], b
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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" i& @, M- ^% t1 M: |- zFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. " o2 v! ?% t' j7 T
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. . G& z. J. G6 g: V" v' w9 S# i
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. , e- X) u f- j
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Pee. + a" X/ B5 `" F p0 i, x
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 5 Q) l6 k$ e6 y" w) [ T$ v9 f9 Z
# d: G k( ^& w, zPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 6 g; H5 ?5 o0 Q. d" q
2 f0 ]& |7 ]# R8 j4 Y) |Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. B9 T: b0 p; B s: B
3 B/ N5 O# o) O5 I: h- ^8 A% VReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. $ D! n: ]9 Z9 _4 W7 }
) k/ c$ N0 A, b6 TThrow wet towel on bed.
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" ~# t2 p# Z0 O( A2 qIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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