 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
/ T8 E( g' o! x8 q0 f; l
+ a5 Y/ L- @$ t# N8 X1 P9 ~, |; [" b1 x1 ]2 N7 ^- K' p8 e) |2 w( q
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------4 W" m! v7 D/ [' j& S
4 u+ _5 u8 C/ B: a, @( s; J q
% S8 T. @8 g [ " _( |% q) U0 ^" X7 u3 |, n
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.% v7 Y4 [. [( O
( ~( W3 j, H: E/ f+ @: Q* qWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 1 p! B9 X0 I# R9 [/ [
# j1 r+ a$ U i) }1 o
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
' O& O* I1 U, k7 f1 J9 j9 C" l/ @7 l: y- Z2 A# f$ G Q4 F
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- - J& q7 `( P. d1 C, k: l
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.* l$ ]9 d. g6 R; X! z1 g
/ O, @2 }. D2 ~, Z' D
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 8 o0 K- q! v4 n9 M# G! c6 @) b
" M7 {3 ^( j+ L0 t/ W6 e" @1 B1 A
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 8 X: s% c9 a: g) z% B& v8 ?
+ b4 p9 A/ c% M' c# X
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.+ F+ I9 L7 M+ s/ V1 ]9 O _" B: w7 x
4 H) r/ T& g0 e& bCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..% W5 p4 q* j) [2 X5 F
6 G9 k$ a% M* n& ^( G' w4 CWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
" f% R7 L, I: |3 T1 i0 ?
# P+ s9 N9 g$ K! K) V$ fWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
$ d3 `: q8 }: `; J. `
o; t* _& J- r6 C* ?, j' iRinse conditioner off hair.
, ?5 T# L- }- ?" W+ Q) {
; n7 A3 e+ Y5 B# R8 q% B v/ uShave armpits and legs.
5 R) |5 b0 t5 m4 d& |& o* E) ]# Y: A' q9 d# ^6 |$ e0 e7 O: n
Turn off shower.
7 [( [) I$ N; ~! e" A# C
# V; m" ]7 d- m& W; oSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.# R8 R+ i" t& t8 ^
* d/ D6 b* T* ]( m @ l& PSpray mold spots with Tilex. ) J2 B' }# R* H
/ y: K& \/ v# C9 @2 ]/ Y
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
/ [# R" @+ ]2 ^5 }. [. ^
" m x. P0 ]* w' sWrap hair in super absorbent towel. & U, a3 W9 t# {% ]
+ R* C* z) H0 |
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. , }. y7 b9 h! ?( U8 [
- [9 j6 S; x eIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
+ i- z- F6 ?# @$ _( M" A" }; `- k4 ~" t, v
; N* Y+ |. U p" E1 R8 y! VHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
, {& e1 D0 h4 y# d0 P w3 Z0 A
X7 U! T+ h7 j" Y% |5 RTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2 K6 U3 p a$ \# K5 ] {# ~/ E, |- J# K8 q; Z7 k
Walk naked to the bathroom. u2 E" _7 V9 T( g! K' O6 s& ]
9 `8 L; t( P1 t8 F m8 C0 x. Z3 ^If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. : Y. l5 Y L3 \% o
( T; v& a3 ~ F* A( yLook at your manly physique in the mirror. * [ P( k8 U, u. ~) ~
g2 {& g) r2 K) P/ A, h3 d7 h
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
& G8 Z& ^) c' k) Q
( y( o9 _9 v& a N9 f B- e, IGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + S8 x! A# B% F6 d/ `1 ^8 G
* _6 j7 o1 c8 ~- Y
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 0 N0 L! f; i$ P3 J: Y3 u9 L& k
. s9 k) B6 }& }3 U, `4 OFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
. X( x, h! j# {' k( \% k3 m' F0 K. E
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
* l! n6 K8 |7 T' z2 \2 M
" L( A0 W) j, a4 X* QWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
4 \5 A) S% Z; [$ M
! {; H. ~# M: a5 UWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
! |- y& f3 C& i. p' I$ X. Q! l) s$ J) T+ a! s
Pee. 6 j$ [7 M1 E& X( x3 n$ r8 j
' B/ H1 k0 f; Z" R9 e
Rinse off and get out of shower.
5 g: z5 Q; m/ e" y
8 r) |' a+ r3 [Partially dry off., J4 t# u% s9 v- b; @2 `: m2 k
F1 a# M( T; y! s( g& WFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. # v* E9 u3 T3 P9 M
$ V$ \% d; N+ W) Q% c) h% d
Admire wiener size in mirror again. : S7 f% O4 z. J5 Q7 \$ h6 w$ ^
) L2 h6 {+ m; y; t) ILeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. I% t1 M7 _6 R6 }* _3 ]
, U% k- i, M% ~9 Y" E
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
% ~5 b `! b5 F) \5 R+ R" B( Q; C: s! a+ l
Throw wet towel on bed. 2 b: I0 N8 ?! v, D/ G6 O
2 F4 z0 e1 K. \. a# R2 Y$ Y2 w& V4 mIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|