 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
/ G. ^3 v4 F! I! ~/ n: Z
" }# B: c+ S, h# s: Y1 t, F- m0 g/ k+ `+ K
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" ?4 [/ C* l, c( x# I$ X) N7 r) t5 v+ r1 T
% E6 m1 h2 N$ d' x$ |% z1 k " P' Q3 R$ Y/ E# x" J6 E- W
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
$ W. h+ V- t' |1 S# j( u% j: {" I! m) Y# ?* R5 k6 U
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 9 p, u' H# j6 ^2 X( U
$ W) g. A# X$ `# ?8 V5 `If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
7 Q8 o) X! b, ?' y$ z3 y2 l& F6 D$ P7 S h' F3 e7 ~
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- " R" ?; y- Q) p4 o5 Q& {% L# \
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.! l8 K5 o: }8 }! Y* H2 P
u v% K# i/ v4 ?" J5 Z
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
/ o* _' P: F; R+ r$ S: L: R
9 @; ]+ R3 x+ `$ Z0 SWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ) \ v& [2 @7 b( L. J$ Z0 w9 _# X, K# s
8 Z5 h S m" a$ C" b( f8 }Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. c) F& W& a% [& H
3 Q. Q7 y8 k. ^' K; s4 w& D7 c( H
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; [4 ~. `8 T0 a6 E) g3 M% L& ]
4 N/ F% H6 |9 R# F4 a
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
/ Q+ d' T! Q; C) `, z4 A" g, ?& P7 S
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
6 j" g" t7 H9 s: r. h
3 O* m6 W+ p: B7 W% J( u- U+ JRinse conditioner off hair." E- X, d8 |" [) u- [; D
% j) i; X$ U4 K8 x4 T. {$ l- j
Shave armpits and legs.1 \- W6 r; K$ q4 E/ F8 ^# ~
/ C$ ` B# ]5 H6 PTurn off shower.# D$ s1 U* O* l. n
! b- P2 i* T( v9 x: p# c9 }Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.' {! _! k l2 m* C
5 ?+ v6 U3 P; R* A% }' S
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
% V7 h8 v8 m5 e! D: @2 T9 O- m/ S1 X% G- e x2 K
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
D, b7 D6 N6 `6 u4 F( P+ n `/ M, A6 F, R2 ?% w# q$ t
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
I3 O6 q: d8 F& s; A8 {: Z& E6 T" l
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
* j$ _ u$ _* _' \6 H8 J/ b
5 d( R4 S0 M: x" Q8 O2 ~; [If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
9 o# i) M9 g% y. p3 G6 B/ V- X; f: e- H% C% g1 y/ Z
6 D3 f6 Z/ f% s, R7 CHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: : q, i% @- D2 N
6 h, V4 m9 z; U$ [9 VTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 L1 ~4 V6 e2 O3 E+ s3 _2 S
* F R0 |$ e/ X3 M( G! s
Walk naked to the bathroom.
" E, a: B+ Y$ ~8 h3 f* w* m; b* E3 S! R g& s4 Z
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
2 g, r4 L8 j% c+ E4 i+ O5 \
; m- D" [# K7 ]. oLook at your manly physique in the mirror. ! x( H& f* [+ u7 r
9 P' n& b t- a) O5 w" AAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. / M: _1 T1 z* l, s* x1 j/ S Q
" A [& @3 p' O T
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ( G- ~# a' n; I1 Y1 i, K. I
3 C# P" Y# {/ y+ K1 [+ U7 N, g6 sBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ! N' u! }. b8 Y5 E x1 Q& s
0 d* c% e8 Z$ |/ E8 Q: ZFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
d# L0 P- O7 R: Y
9 f/ M: ~5 @ w8 ~9 sSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
# ?3 q$ ^! v1 p. d2 @5 O# ?1 M" o) ?& a8 c
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. : t- \9 d. {% \% @% ]
0 S2 u }+ |7 @: I7 xWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 3 @& z+ M z9 n7 l* g" C# q$ B
4 f: ?2 L4 U6 z( {8 I2 i1 }3 h. N7 V
Pee. ' j0 Y5 Y. r, D* m' i3 ]2 N
) z6 D( m0 h7 t' I, |# e# a
Rinse off and get out of shower.
q( Y o5 C p$ s
( ` I3 i. ^2 W) P) l5 o' e# VPartially dry off.
% s7 {6 ]3 @6 e1 H& v
6 U! R' H, ]3 b: [- \Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. $ H" ?9 l) H/ D: ^+ f
) y2 ^1 Z+ ^ n3 v6 A- y# M
Admire wiener size in mirror again. ' A q* ^; e0 ^
" ~' Q5 m& _+ V5 D; }2 uLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ; X- @ l; ]; P' j8 I. `; P: m% @
* k6 e% U* W9 x' yReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
& j0 c7 r. U' @8 {3 i5 x: G2 P' X+ Z, i( S7 P9 ^
Throw wet towel on bed. / [' @4 p0 y {* K( ]6 x
; N; B, p, }4 P( p7 \8 S8 yIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
