 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 8 M q* z* |( |' s b: q0 z% u
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.9 G0 ?4 {; C0 |6 I, c9 z9 Z
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
, h1 [* k/ b* ?; E( `; xmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.) y5 R9 b5 `# A5 ]! j* B# p0 w
/ ?' a; K! _! s( \4 f! C) [Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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r2 @+ @5 O! W( PWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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* x7 d8 v' b, r0 k" x; ?. y" DRinse conditioner off hair.# n" R; R J" t* c9 c" U/ }: e; W6 e
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Shave armpits and legs.+ @9 k9 O6 |/ u3 p$ a
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ( |" X/ }2 C- `( x5 K+ _1 Z
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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2 ?* A' Y( c- iWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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) Y4 j2 u2 s' ?Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. : G1 T* A! w: V0 s3 U' P
0 j: s0 ?- t/ m: P0 v( I6 i$ WIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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) M2 `: p6 Q) J1 }% L- hHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: N) z! \1 Q N2 e
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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" J3 Q4 t( I* G! ?If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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4 u4 f- p. T5 }! C& K6 i( Z) E* BLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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: O; ?$ ^7 Y7 O* u# h& VAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 1 @; h4 O# k+ v7 U4 V
! Q/ _! E* A& T3 vGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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$ }% \2 [1 |* D- o; {) ?Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. / F9 r @& ?$ L% E2 P* a1 T2 x
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. % y9 f: r/ X& a
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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' K" }- J# D" fWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. % ^0 r5 U2 v+ B; b
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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8 p* Y# Q( W3 E# {! E1 e7 |; JPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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9 j, G; i/ q" d; G+ z% A4 oAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. % ~% C- a6 Y: Z
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Throw wet towel on bed. % r; l0 i, {+ X& D' E6 }
/ i1 X& g8 k; q0 C& T* B) oIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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