 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 5 G0 [+ k8 r7 i! ?' _+ ~3 G! q8 k
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.0 {8 u$ _# ?. a+ [1 e- N" m
2 S [3 w7 Y( \7 S! N7 `7 M/ hWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 4 c, W. _3 J8 Q7 f0 G
: W$ O6 q- D5 b2 e/ j+ xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.: {) M; U# g& h& ?: l
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
# {5 H* @+ m5 @/ w3 kmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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5 I7 C1 l% @; R3 h1 u, T- `Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ! e5 d1 Q& J. W& s+ [% n: \- t
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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/ d1 V- [0 S2 z6 y$ G: r- OCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 5 ~8 K! ^6 d" d
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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; ^* v* ?1 B$ V; u" A5 {, [8 i, zTurn off shower.7 h& p9 K- l" ~ \( {5 ~/ V. e$ L
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.2 q0 ?- X$ k# K! N0 h h! B7 T" K
, Z/ M, |' u k# l* `Spray mold spots with Tilex. $ F( P0 L5 n2 [: j
3 E( C2 [; j7 a( MGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. . A0 r9 \# A, G& j" i( J2 } Q
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. w# J* Z% H/ V: x0 Q# h' A
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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3 c% w' \+ _/ E# c$ ?Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. ( q0 i+ C( L, ]8 K" b5 @. y0 u
" K1 [; P/ b+ B! O2 LWalk naked to the bathroom. M% Z" v. t- t% b0 d- ^
+ B: x& O+ p$ _! c' |, m. r2 y0 VIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 1 D# H, \4 q$ n' C- F2 S: N
2 v- i5 z' ~ ]" OLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ! `4 j2 I; D% c4 v% y5 K
2 h" O2 `( Z0 [/ F8 @Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ( |1 B5 q4 `- W$ f' l
: \$ n3 ]: Q; J0 {; z8 x OBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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9 @) F d8 u$ Q$ E6 ~5 t LFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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4 [, d, \, ^- E1 K# C$ vSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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2 \8 y: H7 N4 n% E) [2 U: ?) ] TPee.
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1 h: Z; c% f: H: t+ _9 u6 i5 I9 q0 }Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.7 q( ~: S* |; R0 s" ]
/ L1 r9 A% p, d# I8 ?& m1 s9 @3 UFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. - O0 F: \& B; R, ^
) J6 h) x& z, Y0 SThrow wet towel on bed. 9 d% j5 `' i0 g! ^' E! Y; z# p' ^; F
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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