 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ' _0 ~. Y4 S) E
( J7 Y( ?+ r9 s% f
: z* N4 T k! l$ d f- A/ s' v' S, l--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
; Z4 |, O8 \: o* `
( e) L+ b3 x7 h7 @4 F- M: L" @+ w1 T! C1 D8 Z' O
6 Y5 c( N4 q: K$ o4 A1 aTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& L. Q8 ?- b. R r4 @
1 [" h6 K' K E# D
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
) `7 d3 s/ Z C" E# [; |: p
* w' K4 {' J5 IIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
6 L5 O7 k9 S- e, T/ S) j# P, \! @) l2 H
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 9 X' w% L$ q. j
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
0 e+ U/ e: O4 J6 A( t4 n& A, H
" S, B6 k; n' `; _5 xGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 8 r3 T/ G$ S! `) e! A0 ^
! {8 o' Z; J8 ~: E4 w" d2 i4 m+ z& w
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. - @- ]3 Z1 i' r" G) c& P) q e) W
1 _4 T( Y; \' Q3 J
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.- d8 D, y. r* ?( n, M' \$ _: ^: \8 R6 n
: t( `; `( Z- L# J7 S6 o) u
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
% T, H- v- d* \
: z% X3 t9 O4 C) p! H' h, VWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ) z2 [8 U1 w/ b9 e6 B' I5 g
7 D) N y& g' b
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
( l9 ]. v" C! |, W8 K
9 S3 A4 V# J- T: O$ p& I2 ZRinse conditioner off hair.
5 n Q. C5 V8 K. Q+ E# P
n b9 b# d& C' F( w) x4 k5 KShave armpits and legs.
0 v0 U, f+ j$ W! @: s5 t
# ?$ x, ]2 R+ _2 H/ H/ x$ K0 ZTurn off shower. t2 U7 f! w! m& ]: s$ l
: e# w) S Y6 z
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
9 U- b/ G) a4 ~8 b$ Z' O0 ^
. g! L A, r2 w: G. n, zSpray mold spots with Tilex.
7 e0 J# K! x1 J& c9 p u9 B* g' v# P& ]- z8 d6 E D
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
6 _; k3 P& B/ u3 N
9 l" }* _8 w+ H, x- Y1 FWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
% ]* b4 X: f2 c7 e( C( w6 C# k
! B. l5 P, Y" aReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
+ u1 E6 \% i2 N6 V* @# y# l8 P: r
4 f' k7 w, Y' v& W1 v+ q) IIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
, H) S3 K) A' H# M. M7 \8 r/ t) w
! x9 |; d. Q7 Q! Z; T/ i( @ \
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: & ]9 | @: O$ O
% a) p4 V1 |4 h7 \9 e2 Y# X2 S9 X
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 y8 `/ f3 c4 D, U9 Y7 Q+ D, _
) H) w9 {; V' vWalk naked to the bathroom./ F, G$ e+ n, ]3 p% {0 p) _7 |
; g8 K: S& O6 U3 n bIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
7 f: k% K# W, M- I" r- [" ^2 ^3 n! a2 O+ W: }! r
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 6 Y+ b1 w* k2 A2 E! m4 [
9 P8 K4 I- ?* n, F: UAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
1 v. K4 b/ z$ |4 M5 s1 Q! v' ]1 h1 J, e A5 d% F
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 3 C: s, e, j/ Q P- m% H
& o/ L' K: g \% R/ m. z
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. & f" q ]1 b; t- R. r; k: I3 d& E
7 |8 k) I9 A/ i0 \Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
9 g- h, u* s* n0 U4 X" U; p) ~% A# t; X+ `$ Z! w, m R
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
* {4 a$ N7 Y) v/ o
0 e- N) }" x! xWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 1 [5 i" R- d* f. H/ ?& u
1 Z7 }1 e% F( f/ U6 AWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 0 P: l% _0 n5 |" I+ |' G# m0 v
0 i+ F- T3 b$ T/ |- s+ v6 {' G9 J6 c
Pee. # G, } |$ J- b0 K( j
) {# z `6 `% r. }# L" C$ {, J- n
Rinse off and get out of shower.
" K6 F0 \0 F' |! t ?9 g/ {$ j, x2 _
( K' ^- ^% c4 t' Y8 EPartially dry off.
/ d) T9 ~/ d& Z: V* {4 k
5 J) u- b( U4 L% V+ p6 G- \1 ~Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 9 u& v" x/ k5 Z, X4 n# y- a6 A- y6 L
9 s% A. o( D6 F8 v w) M( q" L7 a/ N
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
a( x0 J$ h+ X1 N& r4 \0 \# H' F: w) r
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. % g+ Q. ~1 M# _/ j8 a) e( X: n
$ u4 H) `% d+ b% D, mReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ) w8 X, k& w3 t8 R
$ p. E1 U2 _1 [# ^6 O7 k. O
Throw wet towel on bed. + }4 O x( X7 t% Z+ f
, n( n/ v# b; c5 z0 B! ?5 M; vIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|