 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.. M: t) j9 P A" P; `3 c% b$ Y/ j
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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/ R2 r4 X- T6 RLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- . L. E/ W9 _& ] |4 A4 d
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., m A5 R! I# h7 G; P
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. % N/ E; m! q- Y5 S |
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 1 Z- [) M# ^4 j+ w" q1 Q* F" c
1 w# i; N# P9 i& {9 h' }8 eWash your hair again to make sure it's clean. G g3 n! h3 ~! A: N' D8 k, r3 X. Q
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..& ?, ~4 p9 C; ^8 L
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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6 K* @9 l3 g' I7 J8 h6 g1 B/ VWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.7 M1 r; P9 m& P! }
* V9 T+ a% X9 A$ {. q9 j+ \Turn off shower.; L ?4 A" u- O4 Y5 d. y" ?
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.1 m+ S1 M3 S# q
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. ! V ^8 v0 [, O0 b0 m9 h
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. & W1 X7 H* B4 C6 ~8 _
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. . k7 V) l0 z7 x! n: D" \
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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2 O' m6 Z1 u# J. x: tTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. % R- g5 ? |* h0 @- Y
) f4 x3 \, p: n& H/ g4 TWalk naked to the bathroom.# Q v8 A* k4 m
" R0 B% w6 m+ @4 YIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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& p. G6 v; Z. `Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 6 ?# b6 f0 o! F3 W0 F# T- l
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 5 o- L/ R9 }, t
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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5 c0 j0 A& |& b) r* j' MFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 3 R4 |! G% j* m1 X4 ]' e# R+ m
; f5 p: s. j/ U& e, l: aSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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' f; b: G/ U3 [5 }Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 6 j& f c& c& H& M7 T
7 b: y! R0 X3 p/ @9 w" P8 pWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. : y( s% J" E2 h/ _9 l9 g3 r6 x" n
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Partially dry off.
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" r: o' ]: I9 l# k( r% A$ H8 PFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 4 P! G g. V$ m" v% v
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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+ S1 L% d1 G* r6 ?/ s5 hReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. O8 O" I! u& Z1 }, w- s
5 \9 }5 R% p: f( oThrow wet towel on bed. 9 k+ K1 s& l9 i
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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