 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : / S; K; @" i; L+ \9 C1 W
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/ O- V z+ N4 } _4 Q+ B$ W6 `Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& r- f y7 y3 Z" h) _) }$ v. _
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. + H" u( d* D. }' B( L. m- Q
( s* [5 r) y. M3 \6 v* OIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- / R4 x9 v" g& {4 l1 \0 @
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.% t4 }4 Q( \9 s
# [3 A) U8 U% m0 d: TGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 5 T N" l( D9 s. C# k' O
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 4 E/ B! B1 ?, V4 X2 ?
& y. V0 Y( k, PWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. & I: N, [+ |3 n, e9 J2 V
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 7 x) Z; }2 a- z& H1 `, m% ^" |3 e
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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8 ^! V; s5 @* X+ FShave armpits and legs., d# i3 R! t$ Q
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Turn off shower.
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5 O! [( G5 a: [8 ASqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.7 \1 |9 q6 n" U
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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* C! U1 o# f$ Y. i( i* C% |Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ( c8 ?' L8 Y% E8 C* e
; k: S2 W8 r! |* J1 @; I9 } lWrap hair in super absorbent towel. * m$ j/ o! {; S1 P, c7 H! q/ N% E
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. / M+ w' ?+ T3 u& S& |
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. s+ O. }* o, f4 ]- L0 v
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4 P' [7 _+ W8 c8 OHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: # S$ V6 `- t) |5 @: V
' a6 J+ A+ ~3 K0 e6 c. UTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 4 g/ N1 i" ]" u8 m' `
; V# K4 P" y* ] ~, z( B/ W+ n7 AWalk naked to the bathroom./ u, q5 a) c: b) Y; O
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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$ T+ X, S, I. j4 C- T. QAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. " T6 M& C# s/ o( Y
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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C9 H; M1 o, Q" S, i, A: rFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. & T& A' t# {' X `" e5 j5 Y
2 K1 z U5 w" p+ F" B q$ V/ @Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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- r/ `, p3 q" a% YWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. 7 S, R/ Z5 w- f! G7 U' o# P6 p
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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' R* U, y% J- g. y& {$ yPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. " s f& V5 I/ |/ ~. e$ _+ I' v
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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9 O. a* p+ P) B5 fLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 5 W6 Y7 l6 @7 b; L$ Y
9 J" \/ M1 s1 J }. z9 tReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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6 s) ~$ U, H7 v& ~4 E5 rThrow wet towel on bed. ' Q& h: I* k' `' F- Y) R6 j# b
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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