 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : : O# @1 L4 y, Q! q0 L( R
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9 ]. Y, E6 S+ h, i) d5 J# l0 DTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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6 s6 K, L( C5 n$ bLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ; z2 p8 g0 @2 n, h1 N' a5 M9 Y# v& q
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc./ F/ y7 p- p8 C# \" N- i3 @
. Q& p5 f' T1 a$ R; I i$ n/ O4 cGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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4 @* z" t' z+ n4 ~" RWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.2 V: [3 {% w Q, {# ?4 G
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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: g7 a% R1 m7 F2 o9 {8 w, \6 eWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. & `& D0 f& `. Q1 ~' E
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. / c8 n1 J8 @% R' O" q k$ v0 ~6 x
' n! r9 S2 ^3 a% D l- ^" pRinse conditioner off hair.! _( ]& s5 a$ p4 u
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Shave armpits and legs.
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m6 `0 { @2 E1 b+ i% {' zTurn off shower.. V& W& A- a8 {/ q* T# f4 Y
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.( r5 p3 d; x6 f z: @, \
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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$ g- \% [6 S+ f$ uGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ' d U+ H& j6 `5 K* h
/ B! K2 h8 u6 Q! W% ]3 y$ bWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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& J$ t" g: o+ A% eIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 6 v" a/ d6 p' r4 W3 c
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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3 t1 k0 q: s: F, w. zLook at your manly physique in the mirror. $ ~1 d9 e, e: Z( g3 M
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 3 y. _: x5 Y( M% J0 X8 w' `
& V9 F- s+ ~5 Y) PGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. ) j* D. v' \4 f# j0 q; i
0 {5 @1 q3 @% NBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. + D7 J+ C4 `6 e' z$ \9 @
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. f, F# A# n, m; S; }8 L$ @6 o
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 1 `! i/ o' y$ Z7 b0 x; J* ~- u! m
( i% d! T2 {* I% G' b/ y/ UPee.
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i: v- _) R* a: sRinse off and get out of shower.
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2 R# k% }/ t VPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. % v# ], t' v" o7 L
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. / h0 `9 W8 `) V- O
" H% b: U/ m% K! \- T- r4 q: Y0 YLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ) b3 c$ h% | e, }9 X0 `
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 8 n5 ^8 \% ^+ a: T8 Y
6 V U7 i. o7 p# j( z" L. z( sThrow wet towel on bed.
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, S; {0 @; Y' F: z c2 j% u& U5 QIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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