 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. _, c2 d5 J6 z+ ^( x+ l: U' I
9 Z+ e$ L+ a6 u! Z, m: kWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ) J- p9 W4 a8 x o& Q
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas., C" g, l, R4 H" ^) @
8 S1 N8 J3 b! ]8 _# {' ~1 ^Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
+ x6 S: h7 P U3 z7 R& Smake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.' r9 k- r; J% z- v: Q8 |1 o$ E
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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% K" R4 ^. A2 _7 K4 X5 D6 QWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.; i4 x6 [' b5 _. `6 J( E2 _
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..2 G% W1 c1 I. |
4 ^/ h- k7 x% _ k( w$ _4 cWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. " \7 a7 k4 q3 O
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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! D. ~0 j% X5 M2 h9 i, TSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.+ M- g! t: i3 x0 U
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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1 N* b1 R+ m* [( k* NGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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( n- A; H1 h d& `Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 4 t ^9 |9 V/ |! {( _) h
) W* O3 d' k& C% | R; C7 w& WReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ( t- E/ u) l' ^/ \$ V: d4 J$ Z/ k
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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, r, A9 a* T3 o7 H) x( N) D5 H5 ~Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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& o$ J! z: `6 C" M+ D @* J! RWalk naked to the bathroom.
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# M3 O' n2 p; l. A2 ?If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 R( H) V* a: z4 o
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 8 z8 H1 M) |/ [
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 1 M0 j/ g$ A* B# ~' e3 v X& J
; x7 Q2 U8 }+ i6 Q' UBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 4 k- X( e( a5 G% c6 ^
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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8 j: c6 O$ d9 Y9 s/ D: W% T4 `6 J/ oSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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* v7 Q v N5 B' [: A G/ `4 GWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. $ O t& I) T, S0 y( W# ]8 I
H8 o/ t6 A5 a6 |9 JWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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2 n7 \1 i+ g! j& x% D6 i7 YRinse off and get out of shower. ; q" R* G# q \, u; ?3 P
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Partially dry off.
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7 g7 ]* V- z: s1 vFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ' Y# f) ]4 }( ]9 T
' ^" [' O) H! Q1 L: }Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ) o( Z' V) O+ S* X$ v
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 5 Z9 i! N2 u) p( ^; r
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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7 d' F V" I% }; \' W6 D+ O; _If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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