 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ' j, I; p4 p3 ^6 Y Y4 H4 G/ m# b7 p
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0 m" v& x! T4 B: |/ ZTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.+ C- x6 m$ X# ~! x; d% |
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. $ A p/ n- w$ I7 A2 E4 R
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.8 h; D/ E4 A5 Y! y5 m
9 r; u: A9 \% I* N, p7 v* [Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
! ~/ _0 M* j. R$ Q3 L5 ?make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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3 F$ N* l% F7 x+ q- E. W- g& ?2 ]1 E! V, xWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 4 J# P+ E, n* N( w5 ?. ]' F
; w+ E% {) _& A/ \& TWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.9 ]; X- g1 _: Q- c* z* U
- h7 ~- G! u" H2 Y9 V" N* Q* x# c- fCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..9 ` E$ W7 K+ j& M6 z9 z5 P' M
9 W U3 ?* b# E: D0 P+ C2 Q& AWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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( C: [: g. ` l+ f& B/ ] nRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.5 ~8 u7 Q2 v/ w( I+ e' {
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.! b U- a% I% Y# v6 b
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 7 m" d' l/ r1 t# O3 Y+ p: j
4 ~/ }1 b$ S3 tGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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$ {5 n& Z' R) u. d" g* W1 w MWrap hair in super absorbent towel. . _- \! _% G4 \, v
, R) G3 }8 B8 U) mReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. + `+ @! l7 l$ u. a* p1 L- ~
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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$ e9 \/ y9 p" l5 b" LHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. $ T, O4 |5 B7 R8 t( e7 J: k
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Walk naked to the bathroom.5 b% Q( ]4 K1 V7 W
9 D0 G8 ?, R. ?1 J3 I7 MIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 A5 F' F2 ]4 {: Q" f2 \7 B. I
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 5 I3 h' A, S" @/ S
2 x) w2 S3 ?5 G: A2 bGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. p& X& A6 Z& e5 F# H J
6 r% V6 N5 @! W% d( mBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. $ Y. e; \& g# F' t, L
5 `/ h- ?% c/ u8 T4 r5 V5 O) AFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. p9 c7 d' `9 Q( M- h: `' g3 C: O' G& W
! l9 g/ W% ^) }, t+ M" u4 [* |Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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: h4 ^) j; A( c, \; gWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. s4 A& `/ G6 Y, m
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 1 R9 p3 v- k/ D( L( a
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Pee. 4 z5 V u: I8 i$ X8 I& G
+ a* G& j# L: V8 XRinse off and get out of shower. - O$ D+ k- L E# ^# W4 {- ?* A! k+ L
8 J3 r" y. b! O8 s$ JPartially dry off.
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* U' W7 x3 T$ ]+ @ F0 F. R6 kFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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6 ]" h. T* r- [% \& CAdmire wiener size in mirror again. ! u1 h3 X7 T! C2 H; N
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 6 J# W- W2 m6 k4 L5 Q1 P2 I ?
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. % l$ G& m4 i. V0 @7 J
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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