 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 4 K5 P* v# F" x `7 ?1 Z
9 X0 B5 {: E2 u5 q2 ~- z( ~4 P4 H
; \! P% c' @0 U
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------/ ?2 g6 S, T! ]. }( R8 ~+ \5 g" h
- P+ T9 U% C; V: b0 z0 \
U5 }2 W- A, y" e! q
& u3 E/ ]/ F7 |9 {6 ]$ O& rTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.+ K$ t* `4 g3 y: z
( {! a! H7 u) S+ A; I& i4 Q4 UWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 5 Z; u2 H, p0 T [1 Q( |9 _
. z% u+ t0 h, x3 o! H$ G& ]
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.% B$ A6 @7 h( ^7 O) C
! G+ L- f# u1 ^ ?Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 4 @+ L! i4 L* p& Q6 N7 O
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
3 v) ]* Z4 l4 `( C* p; j
% h' L- ~ X6 z4 {7 L2 QGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
) P6 M% Y2 Q( R& s) u& e" [2 m; c& t0 s
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. , X" g+ z3 O" o. H8 T9 d
& M6 z8 S3 s4 N5 d$ a. C
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
8 @6 f F' I0 c1 ]+ S1 H J3 @* c/ A* _1 R% \2 U2 n6 y
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
1 A# U4 a# i" _5 q4 o ?8 @
% l3 _7 N7 F4 {Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. " k0 ~/ f/ X# H% }' j1 k6 L" z
9 D; g d; a' D+ g. y4 t: N6 TWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
+ Y9 F7 @3 i' R8 z. `" j5 x
4 P5 j0 C) u: T$ J2 w# U6 oRinse conditioner off hair.9 }+ j* t- K. B, o7 e# m5 G/ M4 e
3 a! u3 J4 V4 s* mShave armpits and legs.
4 d7 S( v6 E" f* @' { P9 S- z, s8 J- _
Turn off shower.
4 t. t7 K' b1 o- I" M" N
% Z1 E/ h+ X* ?/ C" t0 U) Q2 t. GSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
+ }/ s+ T# m" t; ?7 H$ ]) V+ ~' S4 U9 h0 B
Spray mold spots with Tilex. . T& v3 i- o x0 a5 i
* t- d6 j9 [$ b5 zGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ! q- _: C2 R- c z
# l2 Z7 N! H1 `. }3 A2 T; C3 Y* JWrap hair in super absorbent towel. . U! V- n$ V# r- c6 X
( A0 N% Y: g) m0 i9 V
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
% v7 [, h( Y. ^8 U0 D/ n. O% W2 b% ]2 h. K' j B) B
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. # J- j9 h% c8 P* g+ p% l2 Y1 p4 I
( a* S$ K8 W" y+ h6 |1 l
/ p( ]) z! f' @6 t) ?
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: # j3 _) _5 b3 a
! l' ]9 s+ O( l7 h) t8 ?# wTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 7 l8 C Q V6 i" w# R; {: M6 C
8 E y+ B# g+ L0 W& _* v/ IWalk naked to the bathroom.& n9 z6 R/ \. `' U7 }" u# H
$ w* Z" U4 Z# A: [. N8 t0 w2 i2 ~If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 4 a2 P2 |, U$ I
8 _: ~1 h6 W5 Q% Z% Z2 ^! C- @
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
. x( T3 C7 g* J/ {5 Z& h% ~% A' j9 K/ A
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 0 E( H6 H/ }- C2 z+ o6 N
9 b' ^1 X- y/ X
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
9 n4 K# K5 U- q% G+ u- [" l
1 m( x5 A3 O, f1 E$ SBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. / F# w; n+ C1 h& N1 V
2 {/ ^) s/ L% a' t
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
( m8 t5 C: e5 C/ e7 N* t- n' c8 F0 P# q
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
# Y6 o2 \) H& ? U e b k- f& n+ ^9 p4 H# m, A0 P
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
7 D; V+ h f3 n; b: ?6 u: O/ _1 N0 s, g
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
4 c5 P6 U4 g9 s% R. D1 f
8 D' a6 b& Y! j" v8 F; S! P. f# ?& nPee. % l4 ~' V* \) ?. s7 X
3 j2 l+ p/ b/ w5 u/ ARinse off and get out of shower. 7 \/ ?9 M0 [" V& G5 `
3 @7 R' P* r. ~8 mPartially dry off.# v3 p' ~* u8 o0 \
; P5 {) @* @, \* U+ D
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. : y1 g0 w4 Z8 k5 W, |/ N, x* k
) e" H- }. `* N1 K# ^! ZAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 9 g4 T' j) m$ O5 f, Z
* u/ C4 |! x6 x; Z; q$ rLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
6 m/ n% o$ O2 j
; A# p7 }0 U: z4 S8 `/ }! I4 uReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
9 `7 p. L9 o) Q$ `& ]! D. _2 ?. P$ Y* Z! A5 L9 L
Throw wet towel on bed.
5 d7 f5 `+ P! o f8 c* r1 {8 R0 V. g. H& @, k& `8 M
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
