 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 1 \ v! R X: m
$ R ]% X. r. @. Z) m+ P7 ~& J) h
0 Z8 t0 b7 @8 b% N% k- y7 [6 s+ |1 N--------------------------------------------------------------------------------" a, g' [ H% ]" h! o% b; D
4 f+ c! s* j6 F4 s% N, `
- O1 d x: _, T 2 k Y, J- d8 g4 \
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
5 t9 g1 I: R3 Y) b
* k' a2 a2 o' b+ t" F: KWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
; h* L# s2 C% ]* B% Y g# T0 q& s: l' y' [ l
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.- x8 l/ p! R3 u
3 S+ e3 ~& c) y& u7 `1 ^1 i! q
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
# q% w6 x6 R/ D( ~, W/ G! Amake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
# g5 P! [6 U( [6 D3 `) n( u' Q1 ?+ m9 v' s$ ^* m8 \
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
7 L5 ^" I j( r6 C* L
+ }* C; u# \! @1 `Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
( E; u0 a" j) U9 d: g
: p# u m& w8 n5 g* v3 H v' ^- ]Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. X& G1 t% C# o: W2 D$ Z
( O3 a: E( I' F* a0 jCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.. N/ F% P T0 r
]7 n6 n" \! l7 c5 Q# l) SWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
% @! N8 T4 B$ @! s) J. r& V$ x, G/ ^7 A R
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Q0 G1 t9 e, F
( [9 [3 p& s$ `9 b) yRinse conditioner off hair.
7 i6 N; ^- S1 B; s. Z; z
4 U9 @: |3 c" PShave armpits and legs.
0 n- a# Q0 t, t2 n( ]0 s2 j) P( K
Turn off shower." T: h% ]+ d! h5 J* H% U# z a+ i
1 w" Q% M' t. _% L, L* }: ]
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
. r! U# y- |9 l8 W. Z* u" v8 t0 E% }+ F" b8 v
Spray mold spots with Tilex. 4 E+ g7 }" G$ m0 L& T
( ]9 l! n3 K- Q' `8 m) r M. B
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. - Q6 x# M& W. e5 y# ^' k
0 v: |7 c( n$ R( A6 R
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
- u0 F* u$ ]2 P( E. v
1 b7 z6 T7 d! g5 A' h* ?- E" HReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
7 D1 _! S) [! K. \9 t) V% S
, X8 Y8 |( ] FIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. : `) u0 E/ ]- Y3 Z% C1 v
$ j4 r/ n9 l8 V7 ~% `1 i1 w" Z
+ B" k- M- b" v8 YHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 4 S0 Z4 Y& c! u) {2 e* u
3 D# k% D9 m0 \5 i7 d# C
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
8 s$ f7 \, h( p- E+ [# H, L# |9 L( v! g* v) C, x
Walk naked to the bathroom.
- h0 v: C, O2 |+ D& o' O
8 W9 r9 p" M/ ?( W- y6 y: XIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. , s2 F+ E" M9 W, k5 [3 Z6 T
6 a0 d; R4 t: ?# k$ A) R4 @
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. : G; J3 ]2 p$ k9 r
+ O+ {7 v) O: {6 q* F/ a
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. $ ?" @: }. O5 `- _* Q6 v1 V
* H. X+ h- z1 a4 Y- hGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 1 u! K3 u3 @1 g# y. _1 V4 l
6 Q$ T0 p) {3 ^5 @! ?
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 3 o0 U2 L9 G y+ G/ u H
1 r; {- X+ K; w; h* ~9 _
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. % L g$ M& H7 w( J# `5 X' C1 K( m
; o) Z+ ] a' c0 M9 ?Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
( ^: i( Z) i" m E* E8 p
* d0 q& R- V% o4 p" `Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. . T. D3 K, T* p
8 a- O! ]1 q. \( ~/ TWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. " j1 @' U# n& C; Q1 [
2 r; H8 e9 x! I) c
Pee.
: e0 V/ E$ E3 i4 [( }4 d( Z- m1 W+ V# m3 b4 {6 m
Rinse off and get out of shower.
0 X% g, r0 M$ J3 j- b4 G# b' a# R% n; ?" I( U1 c+ {
Partially dry off.9 u, S7 B6 h5 @8 O
' L$ a, X8 o/ HFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
8 X; x" {2 S) G
. e6 y7 w1 @6 Z0 VAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
$ ]4 K; F0 Q! D9 ]! m; K# V# H- k+ Z$ y. ~" A, ?$ M
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
c- L3 Q3 O. Q5 L7 [ J) R) K5 J$ L2 F0 X! I# _
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
, F4 O0 p% w. f3 r: `; [3 j7 [& t- P- J. Q1 i+ W
Throw wet towel on bed.
3 E, z( ^, U! X8 x4 f: K0 l5 H0 H# }3 V# ~- d3 c y
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|