 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& S$ u! o/ ~5 I3 ?
8 ]! Q6 G: W. Y, v8 Z' CWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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, E- J8 `9 d1 ?- R( J$ Q, |! H# eIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.5 x: E0 m- E! v9 q
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
) o* I1 j. D( |' L$ I1 M9 Q5 Emake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. + p2 P; J7 C: f% H* Z; P/ g- `) t% |
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 1 v9 e3 B9 ^& ~* g# b
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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+ x( |/ o1 o0 FCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..3 K+ G: ^5 g9 H% Z U
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 1 Z( r1 g; V# Q. o! |; U4 }' C3 k
$ g+ w: U6 P! I( U; |) cRinse conditioner off hair.+ X: X: Y5 Q7 O6 s, ^6 I. z: G
" e: [5 R! l7 ?6 b6 O/ z7 q+ DShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 2 q8 ?$ q+ Q$ t: w
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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) |9 }9 t" o- ]& O, v" ]" VHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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# i" C" x$ q& Q7 j. cTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. # n m$ p, K! z) i9 h# M
8 T+ u) m" _9 ?1 JWalk naked to the bathroom.
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2 @4 u& D S4 v( c* J6 L; LIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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) D8 i/ k/ {2 G1 gLook at your manly physique in the mirror. ' f- T" x0 W) u+ C
! [" E# q5 e+ Z6 J" |Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ( V( \7 R* \+ M- {) s4 q4 Y* R
% F% _8 ?, r6 R! k' ^0 TGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 2 o, r V S8 u
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ! h! m- W3 x, O) q+ O- f7 O
9 z* W, @; d# K# VFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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* s7 j* H2 H" R/ |! }" _& D: bWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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5 F$ @* K9 ]1 P5 v$ _Pee. : z' A4 ~9 s( a% T1 [: ^4 ~
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 6 h( l+ O2 |( o& i
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Partially dry off.
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+ V, G( C. V E: Z& X# H4 r5 AFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ' v' s1 k6 ?, S6 H8 S7 J' i! I
9 Z$ R, w( F$ g2 R2 N; dReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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, R- h3 v8 W/ ^- `0 iThrow wet towel on bed. 7 f# R: ], \% B! H; K8 w, X0 e. X# t
. P& {" C3 u$ x! K2 lIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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