 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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3 ]+ G' c% C s% _Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. : J5 I$ ^6 s I0 e8 f; e
' j( i5 S$ w L; l) sIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.0 L' {/ j. Z: [
" T/ C2 r% G1 Y, C8 B8 `Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
) i, E9 [% i4 q8 Vmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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6 h0 s- c% K- I. N* L+ y! FGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. " Q; d; n9 r+ ?& x- a/ h. B
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; c! f) u+ A/ ^: f: G( u
5 k, j" N8 w5 h* A4 o! Y" z1 e* e6 kWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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) N8 j$ k9 Z! S+ x. AShave armpits and legs. g3 ?' I3 _- t8 w- O; J4 ~. j& w8 M
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Turn off shower.
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; _ L/ z" p7 B( k' p7 r1 [% {0 o8 i- oSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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) L- ~+ \2 J- D+ [Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. " |- |! c% C; U
+ i2 D1 j |3 K, \! U$ `% R! xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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, S2 Y) S* j# \, j: G9 B) @5 rHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom./ b, |3 M; c9 c8 D* `' b
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. $ v% {) n7 M1 f) u8 Z4 o# l
! {1 D3 G; t3 Q' }: b v) O5 \Look at your manly physique in the mirror. + H1 p! \, V- N5 i9 i! n' I
/ j: i: G, y W2 y5 ]Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. # Z$ V9 e" c7 D
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 8 Y5 e1 u2 `! k: b1 z8 ?
& q N8 O6 P1 m: l7 YBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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V8 T$ V5 h- |( CSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. & O% P4 I7 N; x! |7 {9 j
6 t, g: T9 }: o- ^; r+ _3 T3 tWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. - ~# N# g x; [! L; Y) |. z0 y1 ^
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. / Z1 B Y: J( E( q
) Q6 }+ j: l) kPee.
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! X0 r- l. f. |3 G% }Rinse off and get out of shower.
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) j: D+ I! N' z6 Z. i4 o3 ~7 O' D& D9 RPartially dry off.) `/ R/ }9 C0 s, t: u0 W
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. * s! D( ^; }8 A9 a
; ]" g1 w, h# BLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. , W* e" g- Q4 Q( A
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ( ^8 \! D& R' ~
5 \! t4 e0 X. J8 f: V- a9 I* \Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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