 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : $ S. L5 V3 X9 m* K9 {8 |
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.1 o# ^8 _9 a X1 ^0 r
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 9 D5 E& R+ [5 Y$ e" x5 g0 a
) ~2 j J: \- YIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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5 A- N% a: K! K+ bLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
# B* Y* \6 S0 vmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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: G# U" K0 i; AGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ; A. g, k. g% h
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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2 c3 U% I, g8 O! b# K& r! ~Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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( t/ g3 Y+ x# @1 x/ j8 `7 ? a& O( zCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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. F& `0 u j* i5 |, mWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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2 I; |9 m* ~: S% f$ f8 {: ZWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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& X! B" L4 ]6 ^/ H# JRinse conditioner off hair.: x5 M5 {1 p2 `8 V
, H4 W. T+ q* w1 r8 d6 F DShave armpits and legs.3 A A$ C6 X% T; p
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Turn off shower.4 J* o {: ]; s2 p& f
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. @ Z* p& b* r: Q
" w) \ W. \7 k2 ]9 x9 ^! Z* jWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 4 U. u2 Y, }: b, l6 E5 `
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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- ]& T0 A( g3 U& \ B( d& WIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 8 m/ X1 z$ k" f! l y
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1 }7 |& y- L9 d/ q6 j' [# r" CHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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7 t" r( e; H) n. ]- nTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. - @7 }, v& R \* H! y+ c
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Walk naked to the bathroom.9 X0 j* t, z( W* f2 B
# O* X% K6 p, |; v" `. DIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. * y# `" f! l" M8 g! Q' Z
- G* O* J; J6 b% C A8 KLook at your manly physique in the mirror. % b n0 E' D( E, _" V) Q7 C% l
4 T2 L& R2 i# Y" `1 j1 ZAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 8 N/ q6 ?! |8 _# z. Q# p0 b( i
* ^, U# _$ B, a1 ?7 x/ S5 sGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. % K8 U& j9 D4 Y. n$ R
9 t: ?1 D/ |7 {5 N1 z- j% l: kBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. * F0 W% k* Q& C$ y6 l" p: {# l
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ! r+ e9 z% r9 C# u1 Y5 n5 u
+ N, L+ d& j/ J+ C8 ^$ ] R* j# T) c& iSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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, |2 b: h1 @4 A, u9 r. n) e3 ~3 |8 YWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. + T9 m% C, }* q' E3 Q
- M/ c! m/ Z t. z2 t. O$ z7 \Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off./ a9 F# b# \" m e* }
, Z* W" u- C; n9 R+ b" d9 YFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. % x$ a1 C" q9 A% z4 r+ _- u b1 ]% ~
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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! A J. n; E+ U* ?6 M5 GLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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$ ~2 q$ _) |: jReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ; m$ _. h8 L- j8 j4 L- F
4 Y {) n8 {) a9 eThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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