 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 3 _$ y/ J8 R3 L5 \) O
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.7 `- f9 e7 I) Y7 ^
* B4 c% V# U+ I( H- XWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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( m; k4 R7 _' n- e. VLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 9 o* D0 d B8 B
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.9 l& f# [: X+ ?% p+ f, K
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ( K6 e% j. [! v+ a) z
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. $ s. p9 \# I" o) K
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.+ W4 F5 P; |5 w; F( F) U: ]
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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: P' v; V ?+ U5 D; l" N) qRinse conditioner off hair.# }+ t" b! P% ?5 K1 o; O9 R
0 \7 U/ H4 Z4 \, v4 nShave armpits and legs.( ?$ L5 z5 F" Y9 W1 z
. [" @: x( `- JTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.3 r) c4 [) v0 O0 Y2 x7 E; n! U
2 m+ X8 O; s* {7 `Spray mold spots with Tilex. - a& \. \$ Q7 }) z( k
, c4 J+ q8 g9 KGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ! k* x' Z" R% M
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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: @8 d/ n X7 S5 j" m- {0 }: iIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ' C8 h+ `8 \+ d4 W# S) S" U7 j0 A
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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+ k N4 L# m5 n4 \9 y% Y0 JTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. . d- T1 ]1 [, {# l
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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2 v; [- o4 ^$ _$ v4 \7 ~6 t# yIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 0 I7 ]+ Z/ w2 [# u
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ) T3 s: W$ L E" U
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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: i# B9 X/ g9 J7 c8 mGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. # a3 e2 m5 U% o6 i+ F1 n
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 3 A. p3 q+ {6 g$ R
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Partially dry off.! t' ?8 l" i, D) y
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 1 r1 D6 p0 ?3 z8 j# _
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ) I9 Q5 S4 R! T. H% `+ r
~) Q4 }. d2 [& jLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 4 j# M) t6 D2 O7 s/ E
: B. |( N3 n0 L, }& fReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. ) c8 e' o$ D- S7 y$ |. Z4 V
- `7 ]1 S- Y! X& P9 JIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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