 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 7 E5 n6 O: d% z7 P" m" D4 }" D
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$ `. E7 O+ y, S+ L; z# UTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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5 b; T5 b' a& A5 ~" x2 W8 _Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ' ]0 C% V# U9 {' d
& k2 P E1 r8 o X6 ?) fIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.% {8 o4 W% J3 U
. a9 m0 D$ ]2 e0 u) |: t+ @9 _Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ! M% d" _; }6 x& {3 [
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ) b" T. T7 c2 F& m5 `
1 R8 z; \4 C: mWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.& P6 |$ |9 x/ `8 [) ~3 k
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. & o: K8 ^5 f0 o4 m
6 N" f( c! B) }, k7 l+ y/ }4 kWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 0 i B" l) R6 S4 C. s
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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. O! e7 C2 j$ ~9 [7 Q, Z' tShave armpits and legs.
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7 o* r8 ^* x/ ~; g2 g& sTurn off shower.
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# E4 i5 p7 \; _2 I; X9 |( eSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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! Q5 c; S' `1 @Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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* n$ w; L! u1 H5 h6 WGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. # F5 k+ s; p; H
+ E. U( R, ]. a9 Y3 b' k [Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. : X" o1 L5 z) a1 i8 p; [2 P8 H' F
. ]% u( o/ G6 Y. YIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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; o$ X6 p) g5 @2 F5 I* K1 xHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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* b' T8 \* E5 M( E2 {& @. k# SWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. % W2 x9 q0 s1 j& t8 m( \
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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% k4 [: j8 Q7 I' X3 O6 ^# V8 ^Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ) ]3 S5 e. D& k3 M% o2 P! w/ \4 {
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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$ Q H* l5 A: l4 K; R% [Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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& i% u0 t T. A* V3 x z \Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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7 w$ r# ^5 I6 f5 m5 d, Q2 y' ]Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. * c) o7 a9 R; _! T& B* [
% z: Y8 l2 H, i" ^Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ( n( V `( b& m0 c S
# S$ j7 X: |0 M$ o0 p: a: O. D3 DPee.
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! M9 ^ R4 V. q3 d" g" ORinse off and get out of shower.
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) [; `" D7 A8 _% [) N9 Z8 |' m5 m; U6 Y5 Z) LPartially dry off.1 P+ I' d0 ^# P# p& S
% f8 X" t2 I8 K2 h+ n* g7 {# JFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. $ c+ y' y; m* ?0 x% _+ y# b
! `# R$ r0 m) B$ fAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 2 y' Z! b, u8 d& P
: I( j# |$ u9 ^! j+ C0 H xThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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