 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.8 {0 b. K7 K W" H% I: D: p
6 s. u# s* B% M. O6 J/ K9 a; WWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ; T6 K7 K- L u/ H9 j# U% w
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 4 U5 q e9 P# M
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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/ s$ q2 f- z8 W9 r' `1 B+ P6 hWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 8 T; G1 o7 k& I5 X* S
' J8 z& n( R) ~! J" l7 h; VWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.6 r0 u7 j: }' h7 N8 I4 |5 ]
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..7 M7 g* h3 w, M8 O: D
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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0 `7 h9 E( n' eWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 4 ]9 L* {0 t* s4 j" Z* S
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Rinse conditioner off hair.' S( y: p) e3 @/ \6 p% l! _
6 U# E3 Y( x- g' |Shave armpits and legs.
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) S1 i9 {% }- J" HTurn off shower." @ s1 C w) N+ z/ f( P: D
! v8 D% q. w" M1 b' U" OSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. . g7 q" m5 l8 t) K
' h% N4 l3 m7 E L7 kGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 9 t+ z, B ]& t( p; o2 C
: G6 ]. y' q) G, w( w! a2 FWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. " x7 B( n6 P/ h& |
7 ^7 \6 N9 r3 X" |6 xIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 6 a4 n6 q; v6 h! w1 G
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. ( @3 r& w" v4 X7 P+ f
# f s+ w; y* U6 Y1 qAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. $ N4 s% b- W+ r4 Y! }# [
) c- [9 X0 K D+ cGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. % H" C' U( v# @3 t1 M
1 ?/ A* i# o, v- K' uFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. * i% p: @, D7 ^: x# N2 m! k
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. + H5 n+ U* a8 \6 o8 {
4 v- n+ j a0 VPee.
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2 y% ^" y* z3 ?. yRinse off and get out of shower. U' u" f) x, i! H3 t3 q2 u& M
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Partially dry off.
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; J& _, D: V) N. Z }, NFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. : g4 J0 o) w; U/ V8 H- `
! { S. O& B: a M6 v( UAdmire wiener size in mirror again. 4 y+ O, r3 e6 G$ ?5 e$ u& | |0 h
* d# p1 k- d7 r( k% O- d$ N) DLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. : C; e9 z1 s1 @8 c1 _; O2 Q1 Y
3 Y4 Y F6 W, O: `/ T4 K4 C6 R- v1 dReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. . v! i/ ]8 h: t7 G0 C, f, T
8 s9 Q9 ?/ Q; X8 |7 dThrow wet towel on bed.
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! |4 c" m ]# Q% |) h9 x$ yIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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