 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 8 Y6 Z1 [8 s8 p
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- u7 U: x/ J, l( fTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.# J3 J% S2 F6 \" b
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ! |- q1 T: \4 r! M3 I/ Z
+ o# J, w. Q' m8 F$ dIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # h8 n3 s( O& `7 d+ m
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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( q# I% h3 F1 j( w0 t% Q4 ?Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. : ~+ i, p: x, e7 E3 h& G) s
& K( y* H+ G0 v) h7 n, o+ I# EWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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' X% Z) O2 j, r( c* V8 tCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..9 Q2 E! F+ z: T' w8 k
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. : d! ^ @) B% o. v
# r; Q% u2 P \Rinse conditioner off hair.% { V5 d# w" {
6 O- K/ ^* d6 S* f$ g6 U# X* a SShave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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; L1 [- ~: B7 y# }0 ?6 t, X0 NSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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* n$ K c8 r! B, y) O/ bGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. " H" G/ ^8 Z, m, j
4 @" w3 V& a& A) `Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 5 Z9 a- L. F6 b
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. # w% [5 ]7 _/ I
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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5 d6 ?/ o- J5 ~$ b! a$ Q: n$ h' `HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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: U( V! u y, kWalk naked to the bathroom.' ?- J+ a: V! e/ D
& W8 F7 |3 o" {/ gIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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5 ^ Z3 |+ X: ~+ [+ g' k SLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 2 T9 C6 F1 G/ m; d/ l* c
$ u) K7 a) V+ B) r" q6 ~Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. / _5 A5 w+ L X1 O9 o j9 b. c5 K
3 \" B# F# e1 W3 K3 pBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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, e9 l, X/ b" O4 H% I. h8 IFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ! i; O# d3 k$ ~9 H
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. % S; F/ {% m" W* h1 e
0 i! b0 @- c# T" l+ uWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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, z6 k' }+ ~5 Y7 U+ A& j( X# E( @" }- ]Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. . I2 x3 H: F, d. [: x# G
7 z% t5 {* g! }% H, K9 o* J2 R2 ]Admire wiener size in mirror again. # ^3 D" p" S0 {2 a, o
- q! X( M4 s3 I7 ~( m0 _Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. . w$ U p. i0 | b, A$ p8 A# N6 x
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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