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: `7 M1 o; V8 |3 O! gWhy did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
9 M( o+ E8 |4 c1 X I1 P' a# e2. Mostly to clean the house. ) m: g- v- ^* F* E8 ?
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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+ e* J4 [) D( G+ a" vHow did God make mothers? * \* ^* Q' ], v2 L% l3 |3 t
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
+ W3 }4 Z v f2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
! P5 i1 Z. Y$ d0 {3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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X3 X5 N- r/ O2 c, BWhat ingredients are mothers made of ?
! g+ J! |* |2 h# L7 D* W, L! v1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. ' J) P, r" o( j' c m: M4 E ^
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? " q% j/ N' p- P, c
1. We're related.7 p5 l# V" {$ u0 h" W: {, E
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom? . O% w f( I4 G* }8 d
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
8 Y3 R1 f! G* u8 l2 o/ b2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
# c8 `* G. M* O( b8 ~5 h9 o& h3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
) v G2 n# U( _/ a# k8 ?6 g1. His last name.) m- Y9 ]# R1 Z
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
* ~2 }( k# \. n1 T3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 6 _1 f f8 B# m I, }% a$ ]
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Why did your mom marry your dad? 8 }& [; k; f9 ~' Q/ C: Z
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. , N8 V: ~7 K$ Z- ^- {9 g
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
: |& ?/ p& Z: N) ]8 H' m$ O3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. 3 {. u* X; f9 D* w0 q& b1 ^
" q; m5 J6 {$ T; o! z5 x$ [Who's the boss at your house? . r0 S' |/ S0 Q1 N2 V
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 7 T6 J$ b, C" ]" C/ k
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.% A% `( o3 Y6 f$ K# M, m& @
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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What's the difference between moms & dads? % B( ~8 G* V/ t
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. ) y( x( N! M0 N1 j% l2 L/ f5 m
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
# R2 Z7 g( L) [9 ]" ~5 G7 Z- `/ m3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 2 a, N5 }& [6 f+ r! o! d5 Q
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. $ c6 L2 G$ j8 E. S7 h" L& w
1 O- D* a) ]$ d7 f* lWhat does your mom do in her spare time? ) `$ F8 t: l6 T, x
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
9 J9 D. j d, t9 S% x2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. ! `+ l' q8 ^+ x( u* [& P8 D
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
$ R+ N/ @# Y E( h% N0 ]1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2 v% s2 k, b9 |2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. & y8 H) y5 p: ~+ ~
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? , e/ @/ q0 x1 O/ d- ^
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
' G/ E0 Q: E& H3 d1 E* S$ V8 l2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
7 m; P0 F' c; n- d3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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