UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND

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Dear IT Support / Software Developer,

; F% n6 o! G& E" p; KLast year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

8 R: O$ B- B8 ?' JIn addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.
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8 m* H5 o$ A& a7 r' i% h; JAnd now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
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What can I do?

# {8 e1 h+ x; u* aSigned,
Desperate Housewife

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Reply:

, s3 e5 \2 \. z: e7 cDear Desperate Housewife,
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First keep in mind:
Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
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Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0 .

; T+ i5 W2 h( bIf all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
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But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.
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7 j/ ~4 R5 |! KWhatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
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. J2 D  P: z( K8 UIn summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

% g2 ]  e: @9 ~7 c) q8 J" f/ nYou might consider additional software to improve memory and
performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.
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Good Luck,
4 K/ D6 B0 n) h  C) J* v  s9 G. dIT Support