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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.; d& i s9 ^( a8 u9 J' F% W- V1 h
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and" P/ u8 R/ b: V; i$ X$ O
hospital.+ W9 D3 m) O& W" n3 ^4 R4 t" T. b. A
" ?! h+ ]3 y2 y7 r4 K; K- ~ |6 l- H 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder8 d2 \, D0 P& k( `. c
capital of Canada .
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# m1 V4 N4 |! c- g2 u# J0 D 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 `3 ^/ _* U1 Q+ h$8.00/hour.+ d0 ^! ]' ^; }) J* t/ h: e2 U; v
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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u1 k9 w5 r8 N 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
6 I( x; Q9 G. |on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 w) X, d/ k0 S. z2 T! J, f3 A) @( b
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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; B: d$ P0 y i10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come6 X( s) i' G3 r h' b e( J
here sick.8 b, w( e5 b& Q7 x8 v$ t
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12/ g b3 R$ ~# F$ Y) @3 d
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.. P$ d& w9 L- s) y K( y0 ~
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& X ~: A0 U1 I THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :/ Q5 `" \# o; I, L
4 j4 X* \- `! `. ]# Y- w1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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' I$ ^8 N/ R& t/ y9 S3 ~( P q. r5 k5 Q2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
/ ^! O: P, k( i& {is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.9 b0 W) b' c" y1 I! F
/ L) g2 K; X9 j7 L& M3 f7 r8 j9 a8 M3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, j8 `. l# e& @8 a' ]+ l: Aown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest6 v8 x7 O9 K% P! F2 n& B
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
2 B3 t! _8 K% M; qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
8 \4 t2 q6 i2 ^3 I8 Wphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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6 c! A: k9 S/ ^, R5 J5 d4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: A/ j. e: n ]" l7 ^3 i) o5 C" {
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; m: _; ^4 o: k
can get you shot. g4 ^9 q8 i, X& p. Q% a# d/ I3 \
# k2 L, ]! X. l1 F$ G6 P! z6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
v5 L* E T! o$ s1 {' O" p( r# |barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next0 ~6 j" D! J* R
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and* _; e4 g" O; m( |) a
more construction starts everyday.5 R. W8 |4 n3 `# O( z: B" f, v% Z4 L$ t% k
2 D* |) o0 V& }8 h1 V: Z- M# F 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ i/ F$ h. U* [6 D% x- Hdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,/ M' ^$ U8 }, \ i' w* ?
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.. S$ U: S6 l7 m# s; M
1 k. ]8 \8 N; n, l0 c8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
* h @4 j: L, u; Ythe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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" w/ E% u! A/ q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur d( E! v2 u* p
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, K$ y U! r4 j" t F, X! D# J P
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) M) C6 h1 l0 g9 L* ^! ?virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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