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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA$ R, C8 E. A4 ?$ u# E9 t( b; C
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8 Z5 g Y v9 d/ M6 @0 _ 1. Bring your own house.
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+ O3 F0 n/ B$ p8 o! p& G, j 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and6 q2 d% V% [+ ]* ^( m
hospital.! t1 Y0 R- s* Y# z( n; }/ [
}6 Q, K e$ _# ^; C: n# u 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
( x- o5 _0 w" R# wcapital of Canada .# y8 Z% m4 l! N! F" d2 O9 [
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
3 J# H4 o2 |7 r( Z+ S' C1 ]8 Bcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
; p. @: U% e; \! ]* @% P* |; H6 }7 w$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money4 W+ Q b( N: a- ` P2 g% g! ?
on a 15 year holiday ?
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& d; m# T5 ~/ ]$ A: r 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 L" B! @! o9 k# c G! \prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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. j2 F t. {' c* `10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, }- ~6 F$ e, i" V2 zhere sick.
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9 H- A1 k' L# d; A& o2 d11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# \0 [" T, t! d) V% ]5 d* l4 m) r0 \years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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) i+ h5 r0 h1 y$ f- E8 J+ A0 u THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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- A; e7 u7 L8 k2 ~ c6 }1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 B4 l( }! S% K" P( k/ Kis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
- ^: J0 P" A* P/ d% Hown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
! @0 G6 g7 q; o" q# h* b) H% Wmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ M6 h1 C: e) l- N4 ]3 ygo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
H* _# O% C: Pphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.) K' [0 J; n4 j, p }5 v
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 d) w7 }1 b, }0 X! W2 J( Mcussed out, and possibly shot.' h, D" W1 V" b, R* k3 D
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
: L4 c2 t8 `, q* }9 g0 Zcan get you shot.# R5 G: c* z" g7 f" j. D9 t; y& A
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 i0 m+ e2 K' G# x* E' \
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next& y/ v/ A/ z. d6 C: r
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 H6 \( G% `( [& `: S6 P( Imore construction starts everyday./ O; F8 |6 }: ^) C B0 z6 e
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,6 q' f" T: O: B' [0 a! t
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, V h- _/ J. B& |" u! |! y2 w
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
' F6 O7 V* s0 _the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# I$ k k1 ?/ a: n
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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) v9 T+ q, m% a! Y: z* J7 p( d2 e, ~10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 {: J# J" {% U3 X; c
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"! \: N' B7 z; s$ I' B8 ], S
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 v2 S6 O9 H! ^* y" A
4 I' N4 U( q9 y( }* \0 S% f0 j& q11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur! b: r- D* _8 B* f; T, x4 B
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 t3 M( y3 {9 I( b) Z. J, Lblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
8 O* T" b0 {2 b/ R3 c. q/ y8 |virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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