 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
7 S- ?: ^+ \1 R( h- C* s( w N; X5 u! {
' p8 G' a) q0 @3 U7 z0 B" _% O s) P
+ `/ } S m2 a 1. Bring your own house.
8 b* `. a5 R: Z$ C7 A* b# g3 ~- ?6 u' i
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
$ u8 U2 {4 H; O8 m4 \! `8 {hospital.
0 @' ?4 A* [2 q' d' S
1 J4 Q4 V* \6 N8 k& K 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 R. M# g! l# N/ Kcapital of Canada .1 a& I5 P! m. l; l2 F: o
& J, e0 e2 |# Y+ u
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ./ M z$ }; P0 k; R. T2 F) z0 \
, I9 V6 q* Z ~. [" X/ C' E( k
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& W# O8 }& S( D0 {/ l
capital of Canada .
8 E/ Y6 U% \: p7 k
: P: X. K$ w6 u# u3 C+ G) I! S" ^ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is# @% s! ]& g7 ?
$8.00/hour.
' ~. L# W8 B+ N/ c5 |8 B* G; o5 W3 G* u. R% V+ S* T, g% ]% e/ o
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 N2 n3 {: X; Q$ W0 C v
$ B- d% Z% s5 u 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
/ s. Y+ n+ n9 n% _/ J) _on a 15 year holiday ?8 S! Z& c t; A5 V& m( m
( u9 o; w8 |; {' b$ [3 ~ F! ^( h4 P% C 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
. [+ a0 t% f3 c/ m5 Lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
; y0 n. D& x+ q0 v. F2 W; G$ H; z6 D7 g# N U' u2 q
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! a4 U$ e( P. R" M' [4 W
here sick." j' H% o. p$ ?3 {) U; m
9 j1 r. ~2 q9 V7 T; d& Z4 I11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 I ~6 B- t2 ~ I! l1 E
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
9 O0 {/ A% s4 o( K0 A
, [0 ~9 A) h6 y/ h7 r$ I1 E$ P0 B5 P4 J& U j3 R: b
3 s" \) ~2 L# ?( n! z7 |1 e& S
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
9 z3 e5 \( `( _* B! G8 k* n( e$ I9 Z+ s+ g4 w. e
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- g! `9 y: C, {2 Q
5 c8 J4 C% b4 v3 l* a# O+ P- C
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
* g$ r8 w. c) |8 U+ F4 J$ ^/ |is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
% Q/ y* S9 Z, n- y- o7 q$ I
7 _5 f8 t9 G2 ~1 }3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its6 {, K5 S; H0 `. o8 a
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest8 y6 y* R! l, V H
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires! }' h$ }# ~4 p* m5 W+ ?
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 k$ n- ~) R3 D' r, o; ^& ^& ?+ _+ ~
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 `' i* V; U" w A* B
& D# G/ P" T9 a- ~
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
& p4 @. Y- ~) Ucussed out, and possibly shot.9 L3 o, v# j/ A0 m5 C+ Y: B% C0 p
8 j% H" a7 l' q- @1 p5 s3 T n! @1 Y
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that! P1 g* T, A4 s8 T7 W
can get you shot.
- C. |5 V7 R5 O s/ y
1 @' u+ |6 l9 R3 U, @+ Z- |6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
/ b' y3 d- U5 b7 `( e- }barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next, Q2 i( H, {' `
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and3 K; m6 c1 A# [& d) [ H
more construction starts everyday., i- p: a6 C% _
$ ]2 U' n* K9 Y2 `
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,' z# h! @4 }( I- d2 R8 F: u* z
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,0 d/ {/ S. S$ W g6 ]! C1 n9 B) R
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
1 G; m) R" ~# r7 E7 i
8 p* Y, k4 Q0 N" z3 l8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: e; r6 ~3 o, I8 @4 b+ }: j
the same road.
+ k# z5 Y2 g" Z$ n Q3 m
! A' s! J+ ^6 K9 F$ a5 U% ?9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) [/ x* b6 Q) d3 Y# n# {. hshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally! I( g1 q, v. Y6 E: n
activated." ~! h3 i8 a% l) B
7 f" Z* [- N" w1 Z2 {0 _10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
6 W; R4 a; t j2 I8 jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
9 t% M9 l4 D) `$ V# J# W G3 l% T5 gaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
9 i4 W5 m0 U" X/ }; t
5 y2 Y. F1 o/ H11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- J7 B- ?0 U* M: ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ F2 u1 l+ [2 ?4 C! X) v1 v
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
n/ s$ |' B$ L+ Uvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
! V1 G/ { `2 C9 D0 e( M1 g
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
1 _6 A; h! g+ Y
% s; W/ {& s. ^" K' l! v3 ?4 r+ d
