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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( B3 |* r$ o. N
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9 G* R/ I; ]% G5 j4 ~ 1. Bring your own house.7 z4 w9 E. t8 c5 Q4 X4 d
# e* }1 @3 S: n 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and6 Z4 d! a: f5 D" Q. C
hospital.
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( f) m6 z1 o5 n# D* B2 s 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder C& n; W' Y2 H$ _6 L
capital of Canada .9 ^! s* k9 z1 a$ ]9 Y
' [5 F% Q2 M# {5 q$ S" D) @3 ^% F 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." D) |2 ?9 d3 J
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug+ `2 T- l' ^ c% C2 @- ~. x; e
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is; Y; d7 y1 w2 ]8 P. F
$8.00/hour.
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3 I2 _& g0 c+ J- Z7 ` 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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0 M; h* ?# f q$ M1 o0 ?8 O 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
8 u8 m; y. L$ A/ z2 W8 z4 j, Uon a 15 year holiday ?2 u) I# ?. o# C
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
) R4 o O2 f5 x: Oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come+ n8 X& l( n% f6 }
here sick.: |, ?: D- ^) R, ]
; a0 n v; _7 _11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
5 h- x2 m9 \' P% n1 Uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 B. Z0 `# n/ A: G. v6 S3 l
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/ Q* r6 ^; O' u0 a THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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' l/ I9 Q- `) G1 G5 N: |1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
2 Q1 W" G0 L+ L N: F7 e( \; iis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.8 X* p; L2 o1 W, H8 d; I4 r
6 n J5 W# Q" ]! w3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% f* f" K. D2 r6 a* H" L& s' d$ T7 }8 fown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest) \% e* z z) J2 [
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& T% G: {4 T, fgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell, Q$ f" p7 q, z- I/ Y
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& P- w% `( m- E n2 ^
& ^% J. i- K7 F1 U5 Z3 Q' I4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
. F9 D/ H3 u* M1 [) Q: M$ P3 Lcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
, F: R8 d2 d8 n. B, T. ^8 tcan get you shot.1 _, J0 Q# P6 V6 F8 ?
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! {5 M2 `, F" R* ? m% [1 bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# S1 d) h! B* B% q8 gday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; P; _) o$ N2 a4 c0 cmore construction starts everyday., q' O3 L" m: m) D, k+ K
" N0 N/ `4 z+ e3 K0 u5 g 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 d" e4 A M3 D. t2 W% I0 E5 ~
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,6 g" H# A" a5 v% J
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! M- n$ y) ]8 ^4 ^, c# L* ?
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the3 p; i+ t4 V: T5 C: Q( x
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally0 @( V* I% {$ d6 w$ \$ Z5 @( v5 \
activated."7 \9 L& y2 V- V/ S( ^
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km) X# v& ?6 D( [
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"& C* }+ Z& N( `3 j7 c
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.2 h0 c ?& v1 J5 Z' t
$ ~3 B8 _ g; `+ c+ W11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
9 {" e8 f1 v+ N0 J2 clined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
' H- K# o% j$ ]4 xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is6 Y* K/ u; ]& {1 |$ W
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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