 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
+ B' ?% u w: s- ^& s' G3 }% a1 ?) u3 g; J; U8 A& K2 }7 h
8 A- m- p& M+ g* l! S: u4 x8 t, Q5 a+ f, _
1. Bring your own house.
9 n/ Y" ~& k4 y: r* q1 w9 `6 z' x, G$ j8 w
% ~; D5 n% g: ]3 `* \4 O 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( z6 e0 p2 w# S
hospital.+ j: i; L( a( J
/ k# U* v% c1 c& I( L
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
, I3 z& I1 e& s# lcapital of Canada .
! c4 g$ |* m c3 {$ e$ S2 b; I8 [4 K1 x8 O4 ~
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .1 s/ d' m5 u8 G0 S6 \/ y
* a, t6 ? A- Z+ M, {( F' X) r
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug+ v! q( Q, `" n9 Q6 k0 t: I- d
capital of Canada .
) g' ], @* z; U! P; _
# j% N A: `) X 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ _6 S- R1 G8 U/ ]% u8 T
$8.00/hour.
# r# w( }% E2 V) X" m" L- U& ?/ w: z
8 [7 V# _% k% }: g9 p8 z* i# p" N 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
$ ]/ q1 @# m: ~) y: j6 n2 P3 l0 _2 J( a8 u3 @6 O9 \; l
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money% Q- r$ `. n/ z3 b1 s
on a 15 year holiday ?
! {6 @; L j3 Q# A2 O" x" f7 s3 r3 y+ p
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! h1 H( |' ^0 k% Yprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
6 F$ s. h) Z: j+ ~
/ k& J) H! R" P/ @( q10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! f0 x9 E3 t$ r) A& i, \4 g
here sick.. P& ~+ f) I+ F7 n6 e
, a1 Y1 T1 m0 A+ g3 f3 [3 M7 U
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
3 n6 f" m* U9 M* p% _+ _ vyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
, Z: Y) [# D0 c- \6 R
+ o" Z2 L- G9 n5 X8 e6 b6 J0 D8 k
% V5 f3 W, h# C8 }0 p0 G5 ?1 H3 v M
6 T8 ^' Y' t! e, w$ y& L" p# o THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
/ N, a0 R8 k7 u& i5 p& c+ d! C/ N5 K9 x# q8 t. o
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
: C& ] Z, O' b- c+ |( k% d# }! t6 ~: ?, n: d
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! l( d! w5 Z, H+ Qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.9 q/ L; M/ U, h2 Z8 k. ^. J
* B! R% V% Y$ H- V' s( [. [5 w2 I7 f/ h
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
" P" t6 }& ]; t) hown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& n* u' ^' A9 _5 d8 t% x" N
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ a' K8 x. I2 Qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 U& [/ Y6 P( }& y' H
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.5 A* \; M0 T/ U- N3 r/ O
& E! u4 I& m5 }! L& b5 G4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
/ D% X# B9 j) c' ocussed out, and possibly shot.
1 {3 K) [8 q+ x' y4 \! T* ?/ W- p& |+ ?8 s
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
5 [7 [" ^2 w( _, d- L0 N7 I0 ocan get you shot./ ] j- ?/ @( D' O0 E9 e3 q
: K/ E) u5 b0 m/ f# R$ O, l: K
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour1 e9 B2 R5 F2 I) T9 O; a% C5 U
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
C" u' {+ G) m: G' ]day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( ]4 Y# a8 [ `7 Fmore construction starts everyday.+ e$ n1 G7 z: h2 z+ \, |$ l
2 W1 C" C. ?1 T& X6 a: ^* H, }0 A/ [, @ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 k. l% b8 R3 o1 f$ L, Q/ G
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ N0 o; Q) F, z& o; ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.& g& W- C5 @) T2 y
. x) K! E4 q# ]5 u# t8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all, J$ z! ?( u8 ]5 @+ @* C* K7 k& T
the same road.) n; E) Z5 s* X: g+ ~5 e
; B3 ]/ R$ e# t2 r& @6 P9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ q6 R& d% Y- I M+ `5 m/ _shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
% T! E; i* { g A" ^activated.", V( K8 w' M8 R; B$ l& d' ?) O
8 u( p$ h1 z4 }+ H/ J3 l
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km; b/ X" q9 _5 w
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
& f7 s' x1 q# F& ]1 Z2 vaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
' a9 c* N v8 D+ O: w2 V) w3 I4 o3 t1 _/ o1 w+ h; V( B
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 o$ ?6 h7 K! m- B6 Clined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; }8 F' G7 b- z, J$ Zblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
/ |' ?( R0 |' Y) Y6 N* m0 Avirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
