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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA3 n5 V3 W2 i5 ]+ W- R
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1. Bring your own house.9 a( i$ S: }6 F+ r" e( |
( f/ E3 [: u1 x6 g 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
. @7 }. Y% J, |- l% w& H: O! Mhospital.
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- y' d1 w/ k& O! F$ z& t 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
' C( o* ?% P0 j: _* @1 G7 E/ tcapital of Canada .2 R9 D3 A! a7 w
2 |4 y/ S' ^: P, f( A 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .: E) L# t! ]0 O# F8 c" H. i8 B
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
, h- z2 {6 \( x+ ?$ @capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
1 n( A: G( G" E3 p8 P! G8 y$8.00/hour.1 R4 h0 L/ m& S! C
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 h* Y0 a$ e7 A3 W; s% M8 n- |
7 m- P2 F9 T$ d1 X 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money% _( v' l2 [* O
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 s9 P1 L- r+ V, @' |prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 d. V& h: N G3 a$ l. \8 \
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :1 j* |6 e7 ? L0 Y' t p
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "., |+ v! E) b1 c! N H- l. M
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
2 N9 s2 o. a3 L, B- w% ois from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its# R6 g: z2 m, `' `6 z
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 a' M( H) A% K8 D
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, `5 Q2 L: s5 mgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell- }7 }8 K" O$ D! V2 b8 I8 v& u X
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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6 Y) I8 H: C/ H! R9 G4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,) j% D. D0 J+ x9 }# @
cussed out, and possibly shot.* `. N7 ]. o: M. }8 \/ S
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that) L z+ }' g0 ~/ ~/ r. ]8 ?
can get you shot.
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* f0 d; N% G3 Y8 i% J6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& H4 i- J& o7 \2 x! `) s) {barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% s' D. J8 h+ A+ J. Bday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
+ n3 l+ r1 W# U4 I: ~' @/ Vmore construction starts everyday. L; i% i; f! z
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
4 `: H. i, ~9 Z+ L( ^deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 I# M7 Z5 a6 X+ R) f# z! P8 Xsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items./ k) z4 L" |$ u" F6 F
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% @# r- f- u, y) m7 k3 ]; e
the same road.3 Q# W* s2 @. Q5 Z+ U9 G" Y" _
0 f' t& K3 Z+ H: {3 Z. e9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' p5 q) Q. p4 d, Q1 a T! Rshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( F5 Q- K4 C- j5 o/ }
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
5 a* q; ?; \# O$ q1 W) s1 q! n2 [accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.$ c C# V0 D0 p, q. o
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur# r4 j, S$ f3 v
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and& f+ T2 j3 X% g& }1 `+ w. l
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is/ q5 o$ Z/ i0 ]9 z1 N' O( `5 y
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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