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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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. C" m6 U0 |! {% [3 z( t1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
% \' V8 ^! V+ Q" t9 U& K2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 0 Q7 R5 N, b% R7 I2 |4 @
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
# G2 k: J$ _* B: g4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
1 R; J+ s4 J# K5. Weed
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! r" f& J0 y- r y7 R5 [) A8 xTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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4 N0 H) ?6 u6 M6 N0 e+ ~3 N1. Big rock between you and B.C. ; |. V F- V( D! ^- ?7 J' n* v
2. Ottawa who?- B$ y3 i2 e9 y. F% u; b; x2 P
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
% o7 [2 c! u+ T1 V4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
2 @( \9 `% b! |! E) @2 r5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
" a0 x+ ~" \, c) x7 S: l+ q2 r# G; s( }6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 1 v9 a* I B2 t% \0 [
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1. You never run out of wheat. ) e/ r! y" Z% V2 E5 v
2. Your province is really easy to draw. 1 k0 J* N, k4 |
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
$ p/ b2 _; T* Q, F4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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3 x" g; p4 M% T" QTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA & \( a3 W p( q2 {% }0 H
, q0 z+ c% K. y1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
* b9 e: @) O! v0 t2 V! x2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 1 d; ?8 C" ~' J& C6 x; l6 ^- M
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. ' h9 H4 v# g7 x2 K% x; ? o. y
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. 4 I; q; d7 l$ E) S
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO : G4 J4 @7 V* }$ Y* ^4 T
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
" B% K2 ~" B. Q6 H& O2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 9 U: r3 t4 p3 a1 q6 s8 n
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 8 G0 T; b7 d8 R. H# ]% c: H# Z7 ^
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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- q+ g Y# S4 {9 A& Z* r1. Racism is socially acceptable
& D% q4 ~ ]0 W; [ w% N: `1 u2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
. |5 W a" a4 e- `6 U/ |( H& H+ V* a3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
+ S. }4 |: p" }4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
7 a W: x- z- h7 v5 _2 |6 uTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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" b. I1 f5 f! ]: k, o( L8 O! I: Y4 [TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK % ]6 x, }( G, {2 ?+ Y( u( n3 b
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
7 ^# N% Y a3 S6 x9 g# }/ P2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. & V% o/ J: Z$ n# l X
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
( ~4 @# e: c4 }4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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+ i+ \1 f) K, {0 f* S4 fTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA ' N$ q$ C U" f" G6 e3 D# s
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. Q1 c6 q( G Q. x" {9 c
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
9 S' C+ L6 r) x: S3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. 4 j2 X1 _% F* u5 z
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 2 R6 o3 C8 o, b- T. i0 @! n
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
: ?' C5 |" N7 B7 ]7 P2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
" _ A5 ^2 X9 c) M5 z( C3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
% d/ j( u$ d2 d! h0 G1 M$ O4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
& G0 N' V8 i) V! e. l/ q5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
. `; v& G6 p: N: x. J' w6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. ( g) C5 `7 E5 F6 O
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. * n. e6 Z- A8 I1 j
3. The workday is about two hours long.
* r( M& T5 O: a, W( i- a; x4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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