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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA0 l) t" A4 H" i: `2 M8 C& K S
# S! W4 S7 M6 {: ?# H2 r1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
0 h5 y& s5 r. k2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. / P7 E2 p+ |' \$ h+ ~
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. . X+ q x0 u/ W5 r
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
! x- s9 q$ h$ N7 a4 v) X: _& c5. Weed
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( H! V8 m# d% t: o! N9 N* XTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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# k3 ^0 a: Y/ S( m1. Big rock between you and B.C. ! x) Z5 G) O% U" i2 D
2. Ottawa who?$ Y8 u3 B- s6 b6 o' L2 W3 S
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. * m" V& S9 D' R7 |6 j# S
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. * [* ? U _4 {
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. 5 a0 l; Y- O$ i$ [$ W6 F
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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" U7 v# i+ \9 d0 n* i# _1 xTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 0 S) f6 C- F" x" z+ ]- f2 T" F
! ~* y6 s( r w, i8 P1. You never run out of wheat.
) O8 s. V6 p" v$ R$ H7 p6 `2. Your province is really easy to draw. ; {- j" y* h7 x* k5 d
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
n! {% {6 Z3 z+ K7 p1 W4. People will assume you live on a farm. $ _: b' b- h6 [
0 c3 `7 O6 Y( J9 z6 ATOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. 3 }5 R, B M2 t- }. g+ K" o( E5 p$ ~
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
( G: h K# T, D _2 v J+ l% r3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
9 j8 N4 }% p# G% j, s6 d4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
4 p3 B3 n; J' V5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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" g! Z) A5 r5 }( ATOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO + i; p! H7 g" U( u
l: [. m0 N Z" u& v1. You live in the centre of the universe. |" c: e R' C# N) o8 @
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. " X' o, W% @' v$ J3 `) C( t2 I
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
* Z/ {5 K' T- T* F; o( \' I- z1 d. T) }4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 4 a" v* e, R2 K
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC % r* z! n( @3 z8 c) z* R& X+ l5 Q6 k
7 T# \: f+ t0 F. X$ e$ j: G }1. Racism is socially acceptable # U; ?+ d8 _; W! L- q
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. ! m( t5 E" j8 o1 c3 U
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
; V# b. n) J e: Q4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *# U0 @" w7 v% b: _ e ?5 j" o
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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" _8 H5 i; A) B; \! T4 R+ dTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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7 c+ m6 T. f. c' T( J1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. * h p8 ~1 o/ L" g
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. & }5 |4 t8 x- q! @* W( ~( e0 b
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
, ^6 \% `6 z" Z y, \* Z( {' q4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 6 k# o$ w+ F5 u' q/ m
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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% V1 i9 b! ~( I9 {: X# n1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 4 n" Q, p5 h6 j( _4 W
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. 5 t3 Y' U8 j2 s+ E. g
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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& B& |5 i6 k; p. v" O8 w1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. * [. L3 x9 a! P' d/ e
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 3 w7 I! I0 E* A" D# U# b2 V1 a( y
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. a" v' }' r8 d- F+ u
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 9 E& ?! O& a8 k* [8 E B4 [5 s& ]
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
" e2 \* z5 W y% c: Q/ G6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. & V* @" x5 |' B1 D" W( F( A1 Y
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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! M8 P: \0 K+ j% l1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. " D) r; B. ? Q" [$ T" q6 N$ s, z
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
" Z8 n* `% I( {6 [0 V3. The workday is about two hours long. : \5 \/ ^1 Y, ~$ Q j( K
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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