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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. # R5 r$ y. D; R% P5 @
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
n) ~1 \1 x& I' M, `. E9 n0 P3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
6 @" ^/ I2 \7 d3 p4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
0 K, A2 H7 ?# Z; K% M5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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3 n# x( @! V' s1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2 F( O0 e- K, R; @2. Ottawa who?5 ~7 C2 f' O1 n2 k
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
+ `% f6 W! @8 ?' m4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
( T; I2 @1 K5 T2 P7 ?5 U5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. 9 q$ G! T$ a! D; v; v
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. 2 g# i% e: r9 i7 j
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN , j1 O/ O0 C/ f1 }
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1. You never run out of wheat.
0 z2 c5 K E. \% X+ c: m2. Your province is really easy to draw.
R: w0 H6 f: }" m/ ^* N/ }3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
$ l F' v n K# t. I4 L5 L3 A% E3 V4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. ' E" ?$ i1 W6 {5 y% s# h V0 X
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. % x" ?/ S3 }4 k) \% t' f
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
% P5 C, n8 {* ~7 ` w: @9 m# s( J4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
1 \- c2 C d7 s$ ?' a3 C1 E5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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$ H5 l9 z+ j4 s% b( W) h' Q* D+ Q1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2 z8 u) f3 v* J2 M2 ]( K2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. / s( j5 t( i( p* B
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. . n/ ^. Q( L+ H+ A" W, n
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. % M3 w7 m( G/ F2 [
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, K# W8 S, U, i6 X- zTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable 4 x C; |% P+ J! j6 w: Y# ~2 U
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
, ?9 @$ ~0 E- V, g$ y( j3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. + N: U" t+ v* }6 ]
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
( I7 n# [# d+ {9 W6 y* BTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK " t2 C7 h, k y6 R
m3 w% b R2 ?7 ITOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ; V" q2 v9 g9 }# B6 Y
3 Y5 B4 P0 J* h) |( V; Q1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 1 g1 L* E P( I8 c3 M) `
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. ; s: o' V5 c" u9 }5 \" U/ H6 m2 O& l
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick $ z) O) A# g: {' c
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 2 G4 y8 v1 J# u- Y
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3 u0 ~* g8 r5 i, h# |$ G. c3 m! bTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA 3 s, K: G, j: g# P9 g
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 7 a% G5 o+ ]3 Z; x
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
- Z# @/ ]# r* O, G5 K! f* D3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. # Z" O5 O9 X( L2 n
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1 z: T* C1 E# i" g4 _+ Y- jTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND ' k" K# z( d1 J- k& W: _
% ?) B- s7 X k7 z- I1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 9 t. O% O3 B1 s" d' Y* p9 }
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. $ t- t5 P+ c8 P" B& R
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 6 `+ K; ?4 l9 C7 L. l9 h5 J9 O
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
3 S" y+ h+ _( ^; A4 i, v5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
/ n; u* p1 S: [* D1 a6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. # s0 b! I! \" ]3 |; _0 m5 B
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% d3 q+ J+ m- t' d. qTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND % C( `. u1 g' a/ L6 Y/ u) ?" C
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
5 K) A. p6 ~4 s# M* ^# z2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. / P: E$ g; L" Z% z g; |; n
3. The workday is about two hours long.
1 \8 F: m& y# z4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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